Big feelings are part of life. In fact, there are times when everyone will feel sad, angry, hurt, and disappointed. When it comes to helping our children process big feelings, we want to help them discover their natural strengths and build new tools for looking inside, making sense of what they are experiencing, and internalizing new ways to approach challenges and stress.
On today’s Broken Brain Podcast, our host, Dhru, talks to Deena Margolin, a marriage and family therapist and mindfulness teacher in Los Angeles who works primarily with children and families. Trained in the field of Interpersonal Neurobiology, Deena explores how the mind, brain, and our relationships come together to shape who we become—and how we can harness the potential of neuroplasticity, the mind’s incredible ability to change throughout the lifespan, to grow healthier and happier.
In this episode, Dhru and Deena talk about how trauma impacts the development of a child and their future stress response. They discuss how stress impacts our survival system, how to help your child regulate their nervous systems in a hard moment, and understanding what’s really driving our child’s behavior. They also talk about how parenting is about being present, not perfect, and how to raise resilient and mindful kids.
In this episode, we dive into:
-How Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) impact the development of a child (2:50)
-The connection between a high ACEs score and the likelihood of developing a chronic disease (4:32)
-How trauma impacts the brain (6:11)
-The four F’s of survival (8:39)
-What can happen when trauma gets stored in the body (9:50)
-The three pillars to help kids build resilient qualities (19:48)
-How nonverbal communication can trigger your child’s own threat state (26:08)
-Time out vs. time in and creating a safe space for big feelings (41:15)
-The power of pause when your feeling angry, confused, or overwhelmed (1:00:47)
-Modern day parenting (1:07:09)
-Learn more about Deena and her work (1:10:21)
-Deena’s book recommendations (1:11:10)