Is honesty the best policy? Not necessarily, says Judi Ketteler, author of Would I Lie to You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies. If Judi's name (and voice) sound familiar to you, it's because she's been on the podcast before: in Oct. 2018, she talked to us about parenting risk-taking boys. (Her son, Maxx, is into Gtramp, an extreme trampoline sport.)We all want our boys to be decent, honest human beings, but the truth is, honesty isn't a black-and-white issue. As Judi learned, there are a whole host of reasons why people lie: We want others to like us. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We want to avoid a conflict. We're protecting someone (or something).In some cases, lying is healthy -- so telling our kids to be honest all the time is actually a bit hypocritical because our kids see and hear us lying.Believe it or not, a big part of maturity is figuring out when and how to lie."We think that our kids grow out of lying, but actually they grow into lying," Judi says.If you really want to raise honest, moral children, begin by investigating your own relationship with honesty."There's such power in saying, 'I'll start with me,'" Judi says.In this episode, Jen, Janet & Judi discuss: Why kids -- and adults -- lie How lying  behavior changes as humans grow Prosocial lying, or lying for the benefit of others Helping kids be honest and moral online Why you should "engage at the level of reality they're looking for" How to handle Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny What to do when you know your child is lying to you The connection between shame, lying and honestyLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Would I Lie to You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World That Lies -- Judi's bookRisk-Taking Boys with Mom Judi Ketteler -- ON BOYS episode 132Should You Be Lying to Your Kids About Santa? -- Judi's TIME magazine articleI Didn't Do It! -- Scholastic Parent & Child article by JenSponsor Spotlight: Stryke ClubSkin care specifically made for boys! Created by a group of “boy moms,” including a pediatric dermatologist, Stryke Club products are simple, safe and non-drying. Use discount code ONBOYS to save 10%.LIKE THIS EPISODE? Share it with your friends (and thanks!):Twitter:  Use this linkFacebook:  Use this linkLinkedin:  Use this linkSTAY CONNECTED WITH JANET & JEN:Join the Building Boys FB group and the Boys Alive! FB groupBe sure to opt-in at  Boys Alive! .com for your free report “3 Simple Tips to CONNECT with Your Boy.”  And opt-in at  BuildingBoys.net, too!Follow us on Instagram:  @on.boys.podcast and @boys.aliveTwitter:  @ParentAdvisor and @BuildingBoys LinkedIn:  use this link for Janet and use this link for Jennifer

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