Detailed
Compact
Art
Reverse
July 20, 2020
Common Traits Of Successful People Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) We all want success right?     Now, we all have our own version of what success specifically looks like but whether you want a side gig for extra income, £15k per year, 6 figures or 7 (no judgement on any, they’re ALL valid!) they’re are some key fundamental traits in my opinion that apply, whatever level you want to be at.   Adaptability and Flexibility   This is sooooooo key!! Especially when you’re starting out or juggling your business around other things like a job or kids.     You never know when the proverbial is going to hit the fan. Which it will,not being adaptable and flexible is going to REALLY hurt you.     Prioritising and not letting your negative emotions spiral when something hasn’t gone quite as you planned is what is going to help you win.    When you go into fight or flight you actively lose the ability to problem solve. When you can approach situations more calmly and rationally you will ALWAYS find a solution and get yourself OUT of the pain far more quickly.  The art of letting go   This is one of my favourites and something that once you’ve created the habit becomes pretty fun!  Certainly liberating.   You’ve got to let go.   Let go of the difficult client.   Let go of the things that feel heavy.   Let go of any ‘need’ you have for things to work because that’s just approaching it from a place of lack.   Letting go of outdated beliefs or habits.  FUNDAMENTAL! Easier said than done sometimes and some are buried deeper than others but if you don’t root out the old rubbish in your unconscious that is holding you back success will always elude you.    Let go of your attachment to an outcome and start treating things as an experiment.     Failure is part of the journey and you have to allow yourself to not make things not working out how you’d hoped ‘wrong’ or mean something they don’t. High levels of curiosity   I approach everything with curiosity.     I wonder what would happen if I did this…   I wonder where that thought comes from…   I wonder if it would work this way instead…   Curiosity is one of my core values and is essentially a way of thinking.     It allows you to look at all sides and all potentials without judgement so you can make the best decision for you.     Or find the best way through something and look at what went wrong without judgement so you can learn the lessons you need to to do it differently next time.     Or find a new way of doing things that aligns perfectly with who you are. Being ok with not knowing the answers   You HAVE to give yourself a break and know you can’t know everything.  At the end of the day, you don’t know what you don’t know. How can you!?    But if you beat yourself up when you don’t know something, or CONVINCE yourself that you do know it all (when you might not!), because you want to save face and let your ego get in the way you’re doing yourself a disservice.  You’ll miss a valuable learning experience by saying ‘I know that’.   Be ok with not having all the answers, remember you’re human and we’ve all got a lot to learn. Being ok with getting things wrong   This comes back to treating things as an experiment.     How much further along do you think you’ll be if you give things a go vs ‘this HAS TO WORK’.  Which attitude do you think will get further quicker?    Giving something a go even if you don’t know how it’s going to pan out can be a powerful habit to create.  It will allow you to push through your comfort zone.   It will allow you to learn valuable lessons.   To put it simply, if you give something a go despite the fact you might get it ‘wrong’ vs you don’t try something BECAUSE you might get it wrong...which do you think has the preferable results in the long run.   Stop looking at obstacles as insurmountable.  They are the very things that will get you where you want to be.  Successful people treat them that way. That’s the only difference.  They are fine with getting things ‘wrong’ because they don’t see it as ‘wrong’ in the first place. Maintaining positive habits and routine   I know I harp on about this one but I can’t express how much of a game changer it is.  It’s foundational in the work I do with clients and I guarantee you, every single one of them knows the power of it.   The positive difference it makes.   How much more regulated their emotions are.   How much more resilient they are.   The difference it makes to what you can achieve in a day.   Like I say.  Game changer.  Comfortable being uncomfortable   Successful people are comfortable being uncomfortable.  They know that’s where the growth happens so they master the ability to sit with the tension.  It doesn’t mean they don’t feel it.  It just means they don’t let it rule them or their actions. The ability to recognise old patterns and seeing they are not linked to who you are!   The most successful people I know seek out their unconscious programming. They seek out the patterns and the stories that they create or have created in the past.   These are the things that hold people back.    The abusive relationship, the bullying from school, conditioning from primary caregivers, when you’ve made something mean something that it didn’t really mean, the unresolved trauma.   You have to understand your unconscious mind.  Understand how our brain, our ego, our programming all works against us BUT, is all changeable and we have way more control than we realise.    These are the things that get in your way.  It’s no joke when people say success is 20% action and 80% mindset.  The bit they leave out is that 80% is what leads to the ability to do the 20% in the first place!  Seeking help through blindspots   On that note.  Successful people understand all of my previous points and get the right help to navigate them through it. You can’t see what you’re not aware of, no matter how aware you think you are.     Things trip me up that I didn’t see coming.  I have a team of people behind me to hold up that mirror and see what I'm not.   This can be blindspots in your programming, stories you’re telling, something in your strategy, where you might be missing a trick! The ability to master your negative emotions   These are often a sticking point because we take action from our emotions.  That can be dangerous if we don’t have a handle on it.    This isn’t about NOT feeling negative emotions, it’s being able to recognise them, recognise what they might be telling you, knowing when to regulate them so you can make a better decision for you and your business.   You can’t make a good decision from a negative headspace.   When we know that thoughts create your emotions, which create your actions which lead to your results you can see how important this skill is.   And it is a skill.     They all are.   They are all things that can be LEARNED.    They can become habitual.   No one starts out with all of these habits and traits fully formed but they are what often makes the biggest difference to results.   Making sure you’re looking at this in all areas of your life too because how you feel outside of your business is going to affect things IN your business.   Fx  
July 12, 2020
Replay Series: Mastering Your Fear Of Judgement Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) This week I decided to bring back an oldie but a goodie based on what i'm seeing a lot of and what i'm seeing from clients too.   The fear of judgement really is one of the BIGGEST fears that will hold you back.  Really, the majority of other fears feed into this one.   The fear of success, the fear of failure, fear of visibility.   Short and simple, if you don't master it it will stop you from getting what you want, and we can't have that can we!   IT's time to really take a step back and realise what it is at it's core so we can break some of that emotional connection that will drive your behaviour.   Time and time and time again once a client masters this, reframes it and changes their perspective and starts taking action everything becomes easier.    They start flying in their business.    They start sending me my favourite kinds of messages which I call the 'OMG messages'.    Those messages of 'OMG you'll never believe what i've just done', or 'you'll never believe what's just happened'.  And they're usually instances where they've surprised themselves with their boldness, their confidence.  They're doing the things they never thought they could and really seeing the change that mastering this stuff makes, and it's magic.   So now it's your turn.    Enjoy!   ORIGINAL TRANSCRIPT CAN BE FOUND HERE
July 6, 2020
Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Heavy vs light?   It’s easy to see that 2020 has been a year of ALL THE THINGS!   It’s given us an opportunity to really hone in on what we want as i’ve mentioned in a couple of other episodes recently.   So I wanted to take that a little bit further today.   I want to talk about the concept of things feeling heavy or light.   Essentially feeling good to you or feeling bad.   Positive or negative.   But it’s tuning in to that physiological feeling of ‘heaviness’.  Really being able to notice that it’s there in the first place.   We are so ingrained in our habits that often we don’t even recognise that we feel ‘bad’ or ‘heavy’because it’s so normal to us.   This can be physically, emotionally or mentally.   In society today it’s pretty normal to feel rubbish!   We often don’t know any better.   And because we don’t know any better, we don’t know that we can do something about it.   We cling on to those stories that life and business has to be a certain way and it’s just not based in the truth.   You can see the evidence of this in lots of different places if you look.     When you make a big life change, like a diet or exercise change and it’s as if you have NO idea that you could feel so good.   Have more energy, sleep better, feel more happy.   We just think we’re always supposed to feel how we do.   You see the same when you finally let go of something, like a toxic relationship.  Or a friendship that’s been dragging you back.   It’s as if a weight lifts off your shoulders.   Even that phrase shows the physiological change of an emotional release.   BUT, there’s another side to this that you can use to your advantage.     There’s the physiological differences of a change but what if you could tune into that for your business, your relationship, any area of your life?   What then?   If it’s something you’ve been unaware of then it’s likely that making it conscious means you can change it right?   But you’ve got to do my favourite thing and get curious and learn to listen to your body and remember that the mind and body are a linked system.   Leverage that!   Tune in to what it’s telling you...or screaming at you!   Imagine what could change if you made a commitment to only do the things that felt light?!   Ooooooooh!   There are always going to be necessary things that need to be done in your business...but do they have to be done by you necessarily?   Social media for me over the last few months has felt really heavy to me so i’ve limited my time on it.   Most social media gurus would say that’s a BIG no no (I mean i’ve been in the Insta DMs and stories because i’ve still been enjoying that, but limiting what I consume big time!) but i’ve actually had the highest number of 1:1 enquiries in my business...go figure!   Sooooooo many clients come to me with a heavy feeling in their business.     This can be linked to so many different things BUT being able to tune into it and get curious is a game changer to make sure it changes.   When something feels heavy there’s a reason.   It might be that you’re doing something or trying to follow something that’s out of line with your values, your unconscious identity, your beliefs, what you actually want to do.     Essentially it’s out of alignment for you and that’s not to be ignored.   If you ignore it all that will happen is you will feel bad and heavy and you’re hiiiiiiighly likely to self sabotage.   So it’s time to tune in to your body and your mind about what feels heavy and why so you can make the choice to change it.   So what is that for you?   What makes you feel like you’re having to drag yourself kicking and screaming through the process?   What are you procrastinating over?   Start to notice points in the day where you feel heavy.  And I don’t mean heavy as in you’ve had a whole pizza to yourself for lunch...not judging!   I mean that emotional heaviness that you feel in your body.     Usually your stomach/gut or chest area.  It could be in your throat.     There’s no right or wrong over where you feel it.  But it will tell you something and enable you to change it.   On the flip side, what makes you feel light?  Full of energy?  Joyous?   Make sure you’re doing more of that...it’s likely to be your zone of genius!   When you’ve created some awareness around what might be going on for you you can decide what action to take.   Tune in throughout the day and notice what’s going on for you and when.   You can do it when you’re meditating if you like, that’s super effective.     To add to that once you identify something and you don’t want to feel that way you can dig deep by really understanding what’s going on and try to break that emotional connection to it and change your experience so that emotion is not going to drive your behaviour anymore.   What do I mean?   One of my favourite NLP techniques uses what’s called sub modalities.    Sub modalities are essentially the building blocks of our experiences.  It’s how the brain codes and gives meanings to those experiences.   An example is when you think about someone you don’t like, vs someone you do like.     You will of course have different thoughts, but you’ll also have a different feeling in the body.  You may get visual, auditory or kinesthetic (feeling) cues.   You’ll tend to get an image, perhaps sound and a feeling.    Each modality (Visual, auditory, kinesthetic) has sub modalities.   So some visual submodalities would be black and white or colour, brightness, focus.   Now, here’s where it gets cool...you can change those sub modalities and change the way you experience that experience.   My favourite is what’s called a sub modality map across, where you elicit submodalities of a state you don’t want to feel and one that you do and map across the good onto the bad, but I can’t take you through that here but I can try to give you a little idea.   These are going to sound like bonkers questions but when you close your eyes (please don’t do this while driving, holding children or operating machinery and whatnot!) and can elicit the submodalities of something you’ve experienced or are experiencing, you can change it.   So for example, if you were to think about the feeling of not liking someone where do you feel it in your body?  Does it have a shape?  Is it hot or cold?  Does it have a pressure?  A texture? A colour?  Is it moving or still?   If you get a black ball that’s spinning in your gut, for example.  What happens if you make it stop moving or spin it the other way?  Can you change its colour from black to a ball of yellow light? Can you expand that light to fill your whole body?     How does it feel now?   Another thing to understand is your gut is lined with neurons that talk directly to the brain.  They are connected.     One affects the other.  So you can lean into that and start to notice when you get a gut feeling about something.   What’s it telling you?   Do you need a course correct?  Are you going down a path that’s not right for you?   They are always talking to each other.  The gut talks to the brains in mere seconds.   The more we can learn to listen to our body and the more awareness we can create, the better.   You’ll start to pull towards the things that make you feel good and be able to actually understand what’s bad for you, instead of just accepting it as normal.   But the key is starting to notice it so you can take it from the unconscious into the conscious and you can change it.   The bottom line is.  If something doesn’t feel good to you, you have the power to change it.  You can break that emotional connection.   So what feels heavy and what feels light for you?   Fx   P.S - Last question...Are you sick of self sabotaging and procrastinating on getting your business going?  Would you like to learn some practical strategies to stop you procrastinating WHEN it happens so you can FINALLY get the things you NEED to do DONE?  Download my FREE guide below and I'll show you 5 simple strategies to stop procrastination in its tracks!    [activecampaign form=12]   Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here Fran Excell, Mindset & Productivity Coach - Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com Apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind here
June 29, 2020
Show note links: To Vote for The Positive Pants Podcast in the listeners choice awards: https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/vote/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Do you practice what you preach?   Something that I see with, pretty much, every single client I work with that has a personal service based business is this underlying feeling of a ‘need’ to always be perfect at what they teach or do.     I also see it a lot in management in the corporate world too.   Today I'm calling BS on it.   It’s a bonkers, unrealistic expectation.   For a business coach to always have the answer in their own business, for someone who teaches parenting to always be the perfect parent, for someone who teaches mindset to always have the perfect mindset.   Come on!   Let’s put this in some perspective shall we?   I believe all good coaches have coaches or support of some kind.     I think it’s always a good question to ask when you’re choosing your own coach or mentor.     Business coaches will have other business coaches and mentors to learn from.   People who work in mindset can’t see their own unconscious blocks….that’s the point...it’s unconscious!     If something is hiding where you’re not looking you’re not going to find it are you?!   If you already knew everything, how would you learn?     Who would you learn from?     How would you ever grow?   Sometimes something is so deeply hidden by our ego we just can’t see it ourselves, no matter how hard we’re looking.     It’s as if the more you look the more elusive that pesky unconscious belief is that’s getting in your way.   I have psychologists, mindset coaches and therapists as clients.     It could trigger me that perhaps they know more about certain things than me.     They hire me based on my ability to help them.  It’s not about comparing letters after our names.   And as an eternal student I get EASILY sucked in to that sometimes.    The need for more and more qualifications.     Real world experience has a huge amount of influence over how you work.    It’s time we all stop judging ourselves so harshly.   If there’s an obvious knowledge gap, fill it!    But don’t deny yourself help, support and growth because your ego gets in the way.   I actually love the fact I don’t know it all because this field of human behaviour seriously fascinates me.  I LOVE learning more.   At the moment I'm looking into the mind body connection a lot so I’m looking at things like Kinesiology, breathwork, Tai Chi, Qigong to name a few...and in typical Fran style I’m looking for the ways to bring it down to earth a bit.   Practical woo if you like!    Love me some hard evidence!      I’m definitely thinking about how I can incorporate some of these things into my work.  But for me it’s about being an eternal student.   It’s about being aware that you don’t know what you don’t know and watching out for triggers.   But also not seeing them as negative things.     Learning and honing your skills is an ongoing journey, whatever field you’re in.     I had a corker recently, I was working on one belief that I'd unearthed...and another completely random….never thought there was even a hint of an issue...kind of belief came up that made SO much sense in SO many different parts of my life.   A HUGE one!    Linked to so many other things.     Now, I could have easily left it where it was...nice and comfy cozy in my unconscious.     But if I tackle it….magic is gonna happen!   I’m not here for mediocre and I hope you aren’t either because you deserve SO much more.   I never would have found that by myself!   I have a rule of not sharing issues before they’re worked on because I want you to learn the lessons...not leave you high and dry going ‘OH GOD ME TOO I HAVE THAT...now what?!’ but I know there will be a lot of you who can relate….it’s a super personal subject so i’ll be asking the family to avoid those episodes ha!...SO I promise I will share more in the future because it’s a doozy!   It’s not related to business at all (everything always links back to it in some way though because life is SO interconnected) but i’m finding it SO fascinating and eye opening.     Its hard work of course, it takes a lot of energy and it’s really not fun to look at this stuff sometimes...but I LOVE this stuff.     It’s the next layer of the onion I keep talking about.      It fits in really nicely with why I wanted to do this episode for you.   Pretty much every single person who works in mindset that comes to me, in our first session, without fail it’s as if they feel the need to explain that it’s ‘the last thing’ that needs sorting that’s standing in their way.   It’s as if there’s an expectation that they would always have the perfect mindset and behaviour and SHOULDN’T have their own struggles in life and certainly shouldn’t be talking to another mindset coach about mindset!   POPPYCOCK people!    There’s ALWAYS something else to work on, ALWAYS another layer but that’s the good stuff because each one goes that little bit deeper.   I spend a small fortune on my own personal development (Courses, qualifications, my coach etc)  because I love it, it fascinates me. But it also makes me better at what I do.   I don’t profess to know all the answers.  None of us can.  NONE of us.   If we start believing we should, we’ll never get better at what we do.     We’ll always feel like we need to hide elements of ourselves. Our shadow comes out to play.   When we suppress it or ignore it our struggles will go on longer than they need to because we put off getting someone to help us work on it.   It’s time to let go of the need to have ALL the answers.   There are days when you simply won’t practice what you preach.  You’ll get lazy because it can be hard work, you’ll fall into old habits because you’re tired, or you’re triggered.    You’re a human being and we all have off days. Give yourself a break for the love of all things holy!    Our mess is our message right, it’s so often that you teach what you need to learn.     That’s what continuing development is for.It keeps us doing the work on the thing we need to the most.   We all have our Ego, we all have our unconscious programming and triggers.   Where you go in times of stress is often back to old unconscious patterns that served you well in the past. You have to have compassion for yourself here.  If you’re listening and resonating please do reach out and let me know because this needs to stop.   This shame around not knowing everything and being seen to be perfect.   This is why I talk about my patterns, my bad days, issues that come up for me.  It’s important to have the full picture.     I’m constantly saying the same thing to my clients too when they beat themselves up for having a bad day.     You’re human, you need polarity so you can appreciate the good stuff and live with gratitude.  Let go of unrealistic expectations of yourself.   You can’t give yourself a good haircut, let someone else hold the mirror for you. Have someone hold you accountable to yourself.   If you shut down being open to learn from other people in your field, you stunt your own growth and development.     You strive to be an expert and you’re actively stopping yourself getting there.     You slow down your own growth.    Everyone needs at the very least a sounding board.  The ability to sense check things.   So give yourself a break.     You will NOT be PERFECT at what you teach all day every day because you’re a human being.   Can you imagine being at the stage where you didn’t need to learn more about what you do?   It’s bonkers to think it’s possible.     How boring would it be?!   Continued professional and personal development is part of the fun of having your own business.   You see the evidence of “you teach best what you need to learn most” which is a quote from Richard Bach, everywhere.     Most people that do have a story of how they overcame something big and that’s how they go on to teach it…me included.  But they continue to learn and grow.     This stuff doesn’t stop.   That’s a good thing.     You’d stagnate if it did!   You actively learn more when teaching others too. When there’s a question you can’t quite answer what do you do?  You go research it and find the answer...but you CAN be honest about not having it at that moment.     Just make sure your prices are in line with your level of expertise, that you have the support you need and you’re good to go….without the imposter syndrome!    So seek the help and support you need.     Don’t stay stuck because you feel you shouldn’t be.   Fx
June 22, 2020
  Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) So, you’ve realised you’re not exactly living how you want to...or doing what you want to...what now?!   This is a question that came up from one of my lovely listeners and I thought it was actually the perfect time to cover it, what with all the waking up to our unconscious thoughts and all that.   With so many people realising they may have followed a path that was from someone else’s idea of what the ‘right’ thing to do was, or someone else’s idea of what’s possible and not their own, it’s time to have a little chat.   There’s a couple of camps you may be in right now as I know I have lots of listeners who already have businesses, and lots who want to start one...or achieve something big at least.   So, you might be in camp one where you listened to your parents idea of what success ‘should’ look like.  Or your siblings, teachers etc.  Authority figures from when you’re young.   So you go along with it, go through school, pick your GCSEs, A-Levels, Go to University, start at the bottom of the corporate ladder and work your way up.  Right?     You’ve ticked all the boxes so you should be happy right?   No?   So what gives?!   I see this happening a LOT to people in their 30s and 40s. I was one of them!  That tug towards knowing you’re capable of more, but no idea what that is or where the heck to start!   It’s confusing because you followed the plan.   You’re doing what you’ve always done, you don’t want to start ‘from scratch’ again.    I hear you.   Then there’s the other camp who essentially tend to be the same people but one step further along.     You already started the business!  But still, something’s not quite right.    It’s not what you thought it would be, or it’s harder than you thought.   You’re doing what you THOUGHT you wanted to do but you’re feeling just as unfulfilled.   You realise you based your business around what you thought you SHOULD do, rather than what you really wanted.   You realise it’s not exactly what it’s cracked up to be.   So what do you do?!   I mean you could throw caution to the wind, quit your job or burn your business down (metaphorically speaking) OR you could carry on, reframe what you’re doing right now, work out what’s in your unconscious that’s REALLY causing the feelings and THEN make decisions based on that.   So how do you start doing that?   Where did the path you’re on actually come from?  Did it ever come from you?  Or was it someone else?   What did you LOVE doing as a kid?   Where do you lose time?  Where are you really in a state of flow?   What do you really want for your life?  What are your priorities?  How can you make what you do fit around that?   What are your non negotiables?   What hobbies have you got?     Take some courses and test the water.  Use your job as your venture capitalist and start DOING things you’re intrigued by.   Do you want to re-qualify?  How can you make that happen?     What does your intuition tell you?  There will be this weird emotional pull to certain things, you may not be used to hearing it, or listening for it.  But give it a try.  What comes up a lot for you.  Do you dismiss it because it seems wild and crazy?  Do you dismiss it because you think you can’t have it or there’s no point?   What would happen if you just followed it?    What would you do if you know you couldn’t fail?   What would you do if you had a billion pounds in the bank?   What do you NOT want to do?   When I was in that position I did a few things, I'll let you in on them as you’re in my inner circle ;-) Then you can decide if it might work for you.  Let me tell you there is some serious trial and error and willingness to fail thrown in here!   I wrote down all the things I love doing.  As we’re getting to know each other more I'll tell you some of the thighs I wrote down.   I started this as a list and then fleshed out the finer details of my strengths and weaknesses for all of them ha! So left brained sometimes.   So, I wrote down a mixture of things I COULD do or SHOULD do and things I LOVED to do.   I wrote down marketing consultant - I’ve spent 15 years in media so I definitely COULD have done this but my heart went...Meh!   I wrote down antiquing...oh yes...i’m coming out of the charity shop and antique fair closet.  I freaking LOVE me a bargain and when I find something I KNOW is special it fills my heart with joy so I thought about reselling on things like Ebay (back then there was no Facey B marketplace or any of these newfangled ones we have today.)   I wrote down jewellery designer, if you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I went down this route and created my brand Francesca Grace….and quit it when it got too hard.  If I knew then what I know now ha!   I wrote down coach or therapist.  Helping people has always been a thing i’ve done, helping people think differently and to be honest it’s always been one of those ‘pulls’ I ignored. Even when we were doing careers quizzes as a teenager that’s what they were telling me ha.  IGNORED and got distracted by jewellery!   I wrote down dog walker.  Not many things bring me more joy than spending time with woofs! I had a grand master plan to combine products with dog walking. Then I got diagnosed with Arthritis and it was off the table.   My husband says I have a unique way of turning ANYTHING into a money making idea...even when people aren’t asking for it ha!   I had ideas coming out of my eyeballs.     I also had the limiting beliefs, stories and excuses to go with them.  So bear in mind when you do this you’re going to start naturally unearthing them along the way.   I was awful to myself around all the reasons I wasn’t good enough or couldn’t do it.  So I went with trial and error for a while.   So things to look out for when working out what you REALLY want.   Shoulds!!!   Coulds!!!   Can’ts!!!   Need tos!!!   Have tos!!!   I don’t know hows!!!   You want to look for the want tos! For the things that light you up and feel GOOD! That gets you fired up and excited and even if they seem out of reach right now, how COULD you make them happen?     What steps would someone need to take to get there (it’s handy to take the YOU out of the equation for this one so you don’t let your beliefs get in the way!)   You really can make a living doing pretty much ANYTHING these days so look for the evidence that it’s possible.  The only limits are your imagination really.    So write down everything no matter how bonkers you think it sounds and start doing your research.    So whether you’re in the career and know it’s not right anymore and want to start your own thing, or you’ve built a business and realised it’s not for you...the same questions apply.   Really dig into what you love, what brings you joy.  The important emotions!    The bottom line is, when you live your life based on other people’s ideas of what success looks like, or what the right path to follow is then you’ll suppress parts of yourself that don’t fit in with that. You’ve got to find what floats YOUR boat and what YOU think is right.   I’m not a ‘throw caution to the wind and burn stuff down’ kind of a gal.  That can affect your relationships negatively if you’re not all on the same page, it often will catapult you into scarcity (which is the WORST place to start a business from!) once the initial excitement wears off. It leaves no room for experimenting.  It leaves little room for curiosity.  It leaves little room to make mistakes, to get things wrong, to fail and get back up.   People think those are the negatives but they’re the path to where you want to be...sounds counterintuitive but you HAVE to be allowed to get things wrong or you deny yourself the lessons and the growth.    It’s so, so, SO important to do something you actually love doing.  Because it’s hard.  There are ups and downs.  You need to have fire in your belly and the motivation behind you to keep going through the downs.   Fx  
June 15, 2020
Making The Unconscious Conscious Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/20min   What a hugely unexpected, occasionally traumatic but hugely exciting and game changing year 2020 has been so far.    And we’re only just half way through.   I have been LOVING watching so many people waking up to their unconscious programming in SO many ways.   Nothing makes me happier, why?    My favourite quote is why!   Carl Jung said ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’   So what does this mean in practical terms?     Until you question things that you do or think unconsciously, or work out where they came from those things will dictate your entire life.   The thoughts you have, the feelings you have, the behaviour you exhibit, the actions you take and the results you get.    Literally how you shape your life for the positive and the negative. (You can see where the Law of Attraction comes in without it’s wishy washy coating!)   SO….why is this so exciting to me?!   When something stops being unconscious you get to CONSCIOUSLY choose differently.   It gives you back choice.   It makes you understand you always had one all along...but you just didn’t know it!   It means CHANGE can happen.   It means you have no choice but to take responsibility for your part in where you are...which is a GOOD thing!   It means you can now create the life you want.   Being in lockdown and catapulted out of our usual routines, habits, ways of thinking has meant a huge amount of people have taken a little step back and gone...hang on a minute!   They have had the time and the space to think and actually analyse the way they do things.   Not only for them as individuals but across the board on a global scale.   We’re ‘waking up’ so to speak of the ways we are unconsciously conditioned in so many ways via the media, our own social circles, education, the government, employment.  All of it.   We’ve all had to look at things and think about them differently.   THAT’S Why i’m excited because it’s a HUGE space for change.   What does this mean for you personally?   You get to think about what you REALLY want.  You get to challenge what you’ve been told is possible and decide for yourself.   Are you building something for your life based on what you want? Or, what you think you can have?   You get to question your beliefs around yourself and realise how much of it’s just not true.  It’s not come from you.     We take so many seemingly small instances when we’re young.  Make it mean something, generalise it out and then let it govern your life going forwards.   That’s the stuff you need to break out from.     That’s the stuff that’s stopping you getting the results you want.   And when you make that unconscious stuff CONSCIOUS...that’s when the fun happens.   So think about all the things you’ve told yourself your whole life.    It’s open season!   You get to challenge it all if you want to.   That’s not something to be overwhelmed by, it’s SO exciting.   It’s great for you personally and challenging this stuff is good for the whole world.   You get to challenge your bias.  You get to see people differently. You get to see situations differently.  You get to live from a place that’s so much more truthful, honest and authentic to who YOU are and what you REALLY believe.    It’s going to open up so many doors to so much potential.   You’re going to be based more in reality than you ever have been.   When you wake up to the fact that so many things you’ve told yourself,  So many things that other people have told you, are just not true then it’s very difficult to just ignore that and carry on as you were.   So...you may have been having a few, ‘Hang on, that doesn’t make sense’ conversations in your head.   So what do you do with them?   Get out the old journal or start yourself a google doc my friends, whatever floats your boat.   When you start to realise, or at least start to understand that we’re all ‘programmed’ from birth,  that we don’t have that conscious rationalising filter until we’re about 8 years old so much weight can be lifted from your shoulders.   It’s not your ‘fault’.   Some of this programming is positive, some is negative.   You learn what’s ‘normal’ and ‘safe’ through what you observe.   What you hear, see and behaviour that you model.   This shapes how you show up in relationships, jobs, communities, family, friendships, with money, what’s right and wrong, where you sit in the world.  All of it.   This then gets programmed into our subconscious and we continue to live on auto pilot.  So you can see how something you learned as a child becomes how you behave as an adult.   How many of you are feeling empathy over anger for those ex boyfriends who didn’t know any better now HA!   Most of this programming is disempowering.    But now you DO know, you get to choose where you live from.   Do you want to live from your conscious or your unconscious??   So where do you start?   Start with unearthing a few of those beliefs or bias’ and see if they serve you or hurt you.   How do you perceive yourself?   What do you believe is possible for you?   What do you believe about money?   What do you believe about success?   What do you believe about relationships?   What do you believe about society?   What do you believe about women or men?   How do you feel around people who are different to you?   It’s not just the thoughts, it’s the feelings you need to look for and pay attention to.  What makes you feel uncomfortable or safe?   You really are capable of anything and you’re capable of living a life beyond your wildest dreams when you start looking into this stuff.   Genuinely!   When you unearth this stuff you’ll see why the strategy hasn’t been working.    You’ll understand why you can’t get yourself to do certain tasks that you know will move you forwards.   You’ll see why the same things seem to keep happening.   You’ll see why you haven’t put yourself forwards for certain things.   Aristotle said “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”   For all you parents out there realising what’s at stake. Don’t panic.  You alone are not responsible. You have little control over what a child makes something ‘mean’ to them.   But with awareness, what an opportunity.   My wonderful friend Francesca created The Happy Self Journal which is a GREAT place to start and something you can bring into your lives as a family.   Start with what are they watching, reading, listening to, is it messaging you want them to have?   The younger generation is where societal change can REALLy be affected.     You can see it happening now.  All the images of children taking part in Black Lives Matter.  All the kids who are taking the environment seriously. All these kids with big ideas and big dreams.   Magic.   Go through the exercise and really challenge yourself with your questions.  The more you can get your conscious mind to observe these unconscious thoughts, excuses, beliefs, bias etc.  Listen to what you tell yourself.   Seek new knowledge and stop accepting everything as absolute fact.  Your brain is always going to find you the evidence to support what you believe.   So seek other viewpoints.    Find new knowledge.   Use repetition to create NEW thought habits.    Choose where you spend your time wisely.   Be mindful of what you consume, the media you choose, movies you watch, what you listen to, read etc.     What is helpful and what’s not?   2020 has brought a HUGE amount to the surface. And, yes...that really does make me SO flippin excited and I can’t wait to see the positive changes that can come from it all.   This isn’t about being ‘wrong’.  This work can be hugely enlightening but also draining.  You’re used to saving SO much energy being on autopilot self care needs to be a priority, being kind to yourself and other people is a priority,   Change is hard.   Change is messy.   But it can be oh so beautiful, and you’re the one in control.   So what do you want and how do you want to live?   And if you want my help on your journey to unpicking this stuff so you can quit the self sabotage...then book in a call to see if we’re a good fit.   Fx
June 8, 2020
  Checking Your Unconscious Bias Who I'm following @laylafsaad @rachel.cargle @ajabarber What I'm reading - How to Be Anti-Racist and White Fragility What i'm watching - 13th (Netflix), When they see us (Netflix, Just Mercy (Prime) Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Checking your unconscious bias   Yet again there has been a LOT going on in the world and it feels heavy.  Like so many I've been deeply saddened by what I've seen.   What happened to George Flloyd is truly horrific.   You can’t ignore racism and pretend it doesn’t exist.     It exists, and if you don’t think so you’ve got the blinkers on.     It exists everywhere.  In the education system, employment, every day situations that can be so easily taken for granted.   I can sit here very easily in my white, privately educated privilege and tell you what you ‘should’ read, share content daily, share my opinion on it daily and sit and judge you for however you choose to handle it.     I can share the falsified reports and coverage that whips you up into even more of a frenzy.  I can pressure you into speaking up.  I can do all that...but it’s not me.   I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon (as you know if you’ve been following me for a while!)    I’m also not one to judge negatively what other people want to do or not do in these situations, it might drive me bonkers, I might agree or disagree with certain things but it’s not about judgement and making other people ‘wrong’.     Everyone is going to do what’s right for them and I get that.     People should be entitled to their own opinion and actions...whoever they are.  Whether they choose to shout about things or not.    It’s just not how I do things and to be honest, it’s not what I agree with.   That may not sit well with some people but it’s how I choose to roll and not get involved in social hysteria.  I personally just don’t think it’s helpful.   At the moment it’s right back to social shaming for what people are or aren’t saying, and I don’t agree with that.    It’s back to making ALL the assumptions and not taking a minute to question things or see another perspective than your own, and I don’t agree with that.   That’s not me judging people, it’s just me choosing to do things my way and I think that’s hugely important.   We should all be able to do that, no matter where we’re from or who we are and it saddens me that’s not been the case.   Even me saying that, each of you listening will take something different from it, will make assumptions and potentially hear different things, whether it’s actually what i’m saying or not.     It’s what we’re wired to do and it’s important to understand that we each have our own set of filters that we delete, distort and generalise through.   It’s certainly not for me to tell you what to do in this situation.    That’s not what this podcast or any other platforms i’m on are for.     It shouldn’t be what you LOOK to me for. Words have power.     I’m aware of the responsibility that I have which is why I'm always trying to empower you to understand how much power YOU have and take it back for yourself.   I can absolutely share with you what i’m doing to educate myself in this situation but ultimately the decision for what to do or not do has to come from and start with you.     I do NOT claim to be an expert.  Quite the opposite.   One thing I’m grateful to possess is human empathy, and a little understanding of how we tick as humans and creatures of habit.   We have to stop generalising because it’s adding to the hate and the divide.     We can’t generalise all white people as the same, all black people as the same, all police as the same, all men, women, genders as the same under each of those huge umbrellas.     That’s where so much of the damage is done, much of it unconscious.     There are so many different polarising opinions out there from all sides of this, hopefully, global shift.   People want and need different things, from all sides.    We need to challenge what is TRUTH, we need to wake up to our unconscious thoughts, beliefs and behaviours and realise what we’ve been doing and make sure we don’t continue doing it.     One person does not speak for an entire race which is one of the reasons so many people have felt so confused because there have been MANY conflicting opinions seemingly speaking with the same voice.     It’s important to understand this stuff so we can make a change at the root cause.     It’s naive to think this can be ‘fixed’ or changed on a global scale through social media posts.   It’s not about what I share or don’t share, or anyone else for that matter.  Some people will take longer to process.  Don’t mistake silence for indifference or anything else for that matter.     If you’re looking for a reason to be angry, you’ll find it.  And I get it.     Here’s something else that is important to understand.    We, as humans, live in an echo chamber of our own unconscious bias. We unconsciously shape our worlds that way.   The definition of an echo chamber is “an environment in which a person encounters only beliefs or opinions that coincide with their own, so that their existing views are reinforced and alternative ideas are not considered.”   We tend to want our opinions parroted back to us to validate what we do and what we believe.    This comes through in who we were raised by, the media we consume, the people we hang out with, where we choose to go, everything.   But we don’t tend to ever question or challenge the status quo unless something devastating happens or we’re forced into it.   It’s far easier to ignore the uncomfortable stuff.   Our brains are always trying to reinforce and provide the evidence for what we unconsciously believe.    When THIS is driving 95-99% of your behaviour it’s easy to see how we have huge segments of society and such huge divides across race, gender, class, sexual orientation etc.  This ‘us vs them’ mentality.   We don’t just see each others at our core as human beings.  All of us.   It’s easy to assume so much and get things wrong in this situation. Many will, and have, I will, you will! There is no ‘right’ thing to say that will please everyone listening, reading or watching.   We can hopefully be forgiven for that, we’re human and we all get things wrong.     What we may think is ‘standing up’ for people, or particular groups can actually be hugely patronising to many.    We can assume what the ‘right’ thing to do is….but it doesn’t mean it is.   That’s not to say people are ‘wrong’ for doing so, I just personally think that unless you’re speaking to or at least listening to the people who are directly affected you can never truly understand or judge what is ‘right’.     If you’re not truly understanding their perspective how can you?.     If someone is not speaking out, it does NOT mean they are then racist or don’t give a damn about other people or their pain.   Don’t look to other people to help you work out what you believe.  Concentrate on yourself.  Educate yourself.  It’s not up to anyone else to tell you what to think.  Me included. It’s not for anyone else to judge you for what you do or do not say.  That’s up to you.   You shouldn’t have to post on social media just because you’re told you ‘should’ or peer pressured into it.  But if someone doesn't, don’t just assume that means they aren’t doing anything behind the scenes.  Assumptions are dangerous, and simply things that you have made up in your own head to judge others or find something to be angry about.   You may agree with me, you may not.  That’s fine.    There is always a cause to fight for but it shouldn’t be a flash in the pan that’s gone in a couple of weeks time because there’s less media coverage, less reporting, less of an ‘obvious’ issue.  This is stuff we should be aware of all the time.   There’s a huge amount of injustice in the world.  Some I've been more privy to, some I haven’t. Some I'm downright ignorant of.  That’s not my ‘fault’.  But now I get to make a choice.    #metoo #bekind #blacklivesmatter are ALL important causes but we need to keep the conversation going past the social hysteria, at home, to ourselves.    There are so many people out there scared to have the conversation.   THAT’S where things need to start, the conversation.     Questioning.   Working out what your own unconscious beliefs are around the issues that are important to you and challenging them.  Welcoming other people challenging them.    But we HAVE to be aware of the root cause of something so insidious in our society if anything is going to change and I believe that starts at home with some brutal honesty and an openness to be wrong.   Getting involved in the conversation doesn’t have to mean shouting from the rooftops if you don’t believe that’s what’s helpful.    Actions speak louder than words.   Educate yourself on what you CAN do.  Do your own research.     Question everything.   There’s a bias in us about anything ‘different’ to us. But we don’t talk about it.  We are curious about, attracted to, avoid or are even scared of difference...simply because it’s different.    We are all operating from what we were taught as children.     That’s not our fault but it’s where we can make a change.   It’s from society, movies, the news, music, your parents, their parents, THEIR parents.     It’s passed down through generations and the buck stops with YOU.     You get to change it.     You get to decide if you agree or not.     You get to decide if it’s right or wrong.     There will always be different opinions.    For me it’s about being open to being educated, acknowledging your ignorance and choosing to educate yourself.   We have to be aware of confirmation bias. The dictionary definition is “bias that results from the tendency to process and analyse information in such a way that it supports one’s preexisting ideas and convictions.”  This is where the deletions, distortions and generalisations come into play.  And we do it all unconsciously.   The reality is that change starts with you.     Your own unconscious bias.     It starts with self awareness.    It starts with knowing what you care about.   We can’t be scared of the conversation.    We have to have the conversation.   With the right people.   Get out of your echo chamber!   Ask the hard questions.     A simple google search will provide you with TONNES of reputable sources to help.     If you do a simple google search for Black lives matter you’ll find a huge amount of reliable information, how you can educate yourself further, what white people can do to support.    This is not about finding sources that will echo your opinion and make you feel better.     Sharing a post on social media won’t do that either.     This is about looking at the hard stuff.     It’s about not voting bigots into power.   It’s also not about my opinion.     It’s not about the opinion of any influencers you follow.     It’s about YOUR opinion and the opinion of those who live it on a daily basis.    Those who truly are in a position to educate you.   Choose what you read, choose what you listen to, choose what you watch.  Question it.    Think about what you’re teaching the next generation because that’s where some REAL change can happen.   Don’t make it something you care about for a couple of weeks while it’s raw in everyone's minds to only be forgotten when the next devastating thing happens.   How can you incorporate this awareness and this change into your life every day.     Not just when social media tells you too.   What do YOU care about, what are YOU passionate about?    If you’re going to truly campaign and MEAN it, what do you feel passionately about changing in the world.   Is it basic human rights? Racism? Gender equality? The environment? Mental health? Domestic violence? Animal rights? Sexual harassment?    Check your ignorance and check your bias and I'll check mine!   It’s not about what you post on social media, it’s about what you do.   I believe so many important issues have been raised in 2020 so far.    SO many deeply rooted constructs that have been pushed to the surface and given an opportunity to address.   An opportunity to readdress some sort of balance.     An opportunity for unity.   To question and let go of unconscious bias that has been around for centuries.     We have an opportunity to undo so many things but it starts with our own education.     You don’t have to become a campaigner for everything (unless that's a route you want to go down of course!) You can simply start with educating yourself and changing that bias.  Choose to stop turning a blind eye.   The only mistake you can make here is to stay in ignorance, avoidance or ignore it completely.    Ignorance is such a hard hitting word with SO many negative connotations but if you can step back and see it for what it actually is, simply ‘a lack of knowledge, understanding or information about something’ according to the Cambridge dictionary.     You can see straight away how you can change that and how it’s not a slight on you as a person.    We are all ignorant to something. You get to choose if you stay there.   For me this isn’t about posting all over social media for a couple of weeks it’s about doing the work and actually educating myself.     Having the conversation.    We all need to stop perpetuating the problem and the divide.     All of us have a responsibility to recognise where we might be doing that.  Consciously or unconsciously.   We’ve got to be aware where we’re blanketing an assumption or an opinion onto an entire ethnicity or race.   This issue is gigantic.    And in my humble, privileged opinion...the change starts at home.   Educate, educate, educate.     Yourself and those around you.    Be aware and challenge what you read, listen to, watch, LOOK for the unconscious bias, you won’t see it until you choose to look!    Teach your kids that we’re all the same.  We’re all HUMAN.    Knowledge is power and it’s choice.   We’re all humans.    Sex, gender, race, whatever our differences at our core we’re all human.     We ALL have unconscious bias one way or the other as to what we believe.     We ALL need to change that for anything to change.    So all I ask is be honest with yourself however uncomfortable.    Ask the right questions, of yourself and of people who go through it daily.    Get to the core of the issue for YOU.     What are your beliefs, notice them.    Challenge them, change them.     Educate yourself so you can choose to do better.    Start today, just start.    Fx
June 1, 2020
Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Replay Series: Does What You Believe Even Come From You?   Welcome back to the replay series.  I've been LOVING releasing these and putting a new spin on them.  I've had so much great feedback about how helpful they've been so here's one of my favourites and how it could potentially use it to help you right now.   In the UK we're starting to take the first tentative steps out of lock down and it's an opportunity to make sure we're going into whatever the 'new normal' is from the perspective of being in control of our own lives.    I know that sounds counter intuitive when we've been forced to stay indoors for months and had to obey all the guidelines and it's been WEIRD....BUT....it's catapulted us out of our habitual thinking and given us a huge opportunity to question how we do things.   It's allowed us to take a little step back and stop letting our unconscious mind run 95-99% of our lives and take back a little control and responsibility.  It's strangely given us a little power back.   If you use it to your advantage.  Now...if you've been with me a while you understand that pretty much everything we do is habitual and unconscious.  It can be hugely helpful to us AND can HUGELY work against us when we're unaware.   So while things won't be going back to 'normal' for a while, look for the opportunity and change your thinking.  Catch yourself in excuses and stories, challenge those old beliefs and work out where they come from and even try on some more helpful ones for size that will help you shape your reality going forwards.     Enjoy!   Fx
May 25, 2020
Mental Health Awareness Is For Every Day!   Last week was mental health awareness week, and while I LOVE these things for the increased awareness around a particular subject I don’t want things to be limited to only having the conversation at those times and then forgetting about it the rest.   Mental health is something that can and does affect all of us in some way.  Whether it’s ourselves, a family member or a friend or colleague it will have touched our life in some way.   It doesn’t discriminate and it can be incredibly complex.     Barely scratching the surface!   After THOUSANDS of hours of study psychology and the human mind it’s still something I don’t feel vaguely qualified to talk about other than my own experiences.   It’s important for me to be vulnerable and honest in this episode so you can understand where i’ve been and how i’ve got through onto the other side so you KNOW that you can do it too.     Its not me, it's you!   I get so many amazing messages on Instagram and into my inbox about how listening to The Positive Pants Podcast has helped people overcome certain issues that have held them back for years and thanking me for the difference it’s made to their lives, and that humbles me hugely and means the absolute world to me.    But the reality is, to all of you who have sent me one of those messages, YOU did the work.  I just shone a torch for you to light the way a little.   This is why I loved bringing you the bounce back series too.     I want you to understand that when things get a little messy or a little dark it is NOT the end.  Usually it’s just the beginning of something great, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time.   The key messages from my incredible guests on the bounce back series were to TRUST yourself.  LOVE yourself. Show UP for yourself.  Be KIND to yourself.  Don’t make the mistake of not talking and hiding away from things.  Don’t give up!     When you acknowledge and accept and ask for help that’s when the real good stuff happens for you and your life can change for the better.      We're all unconscious!   We all have our unconscious beliefs lurking around causing us to self sabotage, causing us to stay stuck.     We all have our childhood traumas that have shaped our identities and belief systems and then what we consciously want knocks up against it making it REALLY difficult for us to actually get it.   We need to identify it.     Heal it.   Thank it for keeping us ‘safe’ for all these years and understand it’s not true and it’s not needed anymore.     Keep it simple!   There’s so much information and advice out there that is over complicated and/or fluffy and it’s difficult to see the practical way to apply a lot of it.  Or to find the motivation to because the reason it works isn’t explained to you so you doubt it’s effectiveness and the effort becomes too much and the excuses creep back in.    So it's important to me that what I provide is not that.     I ALWAYS encourage you to do your own research and find what works for YOU because we’re all different.   What I share I share as someone who’s been there, done it and got the T-shirt myself.     I share it as someone who has made the DECISION to heal themselves, then find out what works and WHY so I can help people do what I did.     It’s thousands of hours of reading, watching, qualifications in transformational coaching, NLP, currently i’m studying to become a hypnotherapist, CPDs in emotional intelligence and positive psychology, Neurocoaching.  The list is ongoing in terms of other qualifications I want to get.  Something I'm FASCINATED by at the moment is the mind, body connection.   I LOVE this stuff.  I LIVE for this stuff.   But understand I’m barely scratching the surface in terms of what I know.   So make sure you listen, most importantly take ACTION, but know YOUR truth.  Know YOUR opinion and find what works for YOU!   And if me sharing all my vulnerable bits helps that….then i’m game!     My turn   I talk about many things I've been through in various episodes but I thought it would be helpful to have them all in one place for you.   I've lost track of the many times and ways I've sabotaged myself in the past. What i'm about to talk you through caused me to sabotage relationships, opportunities, jobs, friendships...pretty much every area of my life!   For me, my main struggle was anxiety at the root of everything.     I struggled with eating disorders, both Anorexia and Bulimia, throughout my teens that followed me throughout my life in some form or another.  Whether it’s abusing my body with junk food.  Too much booze. Then not eating at all, or throwing up after eating, cutting out entire food groups, yo-yoing constantly!   ...along with a little body dysmorphia thrown in for good measure.   I still wonder if what I see in the mirror is what other people see from time to time.      But the anxiety really was the root of all of it.     Anxiety around being judged by other people, not being accepted, not being good enough.     But also general day to day (EVERY day) anxiety where I would catastrophise EVERYTHING.     I was paranoid,    I was chronically negative.     I had CPTSD. My body created trauma responses to keep me safe that actually...weren’t helpful!   It ruled my life and when I look back I can appreciate that for the majority of my life I wasn’t very happy.   I had everything I could need or want but underneath it all I was struggling.     It was something I felt I had to hide, a dirty little secret.     I mean some of it was plain as day to see because I was so thin so it was impossible to.    But there was something I felt a lot of shame around.  It was about control and a lack of it all at the same time.  I felt like I wasn’t ‘normal’ and couldn't understand why I had to struggle so much.   I felt like the world was against me in so many ways.  People and the world were always trying to trip me up, it was like some sort of universal conspiracy.      Reality check   The reality was I was creating pretty much all of it for myself.    Not in an ‘it’s all in your head’ kind of a way because of course it all feels INCREDIBLY real. But the REAL reality is that I didn’t understand it so couldn't see how my thoughts and beliefs were leading to behaviour on my part that were creating my results.   I was taking no responsibility and allowing myself to be a victim.  I created my very own little prison in my own mind.   I didn’t understand what it was, how it was happening, why it was happening OR that I could do something about it.  That I could CHOOSE to do something about it and for it to be different.  We don’t understand our own power,   That’s the thing with unconscious habits, thought processes, beliefs and behaviour...when you don’t know you can change it how can you expect to?     When you keep repeating the same patterns and running the same programming day after day after day and somehow expecting different results...you can see the issue there right?   That sheer frustration when things aren’t changing, the constant cycle of beating yourself up when things aren’t how you want them.   It’s not a fun place to be.  I get it, we all have our stuff and we all have different experiences.  But the less we judge ourselves and each other, the more we accept and encourage the better things will be.   The more we understand how much control we have.     The more we understand that it can and will change when we make the decision.  However that happens.       Don't expect it to be straightforward   It’s never a straight line from where you are to where you want to be, more of a higgledy piggledy wiggle of ups and downs.    There may be days where it’s one step forward, 3 steps back but if you just keep going and keep the faith you WILL get there.  There are days where you find the root of something and in that INSTANT it’s blown that belief out of the water and it’s just not there anymore to hold you back.   I’m proof that it’s possible.  This was 30 years of programming I had to undo!  You can’t do that over night, but you CAN do it!   I’ve worked with a lot of other mindset coaches and even we have our major blind spots.  The things that we can’t see.  Something that comes up a lot is this belief that we have to be perfect all the time, always in a good place, but it’s complete rubbish!   There is ALWAYS another layer of something to get through.  Always.  Doesn’t matter who you are, what you do or what you know there will always be another unconscious layer of behaviour and beliefs to get to.    BUT, that’s the magic.  Getting comfortable with that is the magic.  People come to me with this ‘one last thing’ that needs to be sorted...and I've been guilty of it in the past too until I realised this.   There is always more, and that’s not just ok...that’s GOOD!  It’s a GOOD thing, it’s exciting! Everything you blast away is another level up.  But we have to be honest about it.   Once you know how to solve one thing it’s easier to work on the next but when you can approach it with curiosity rather than judgement it gets really freaking interesting.  It’s fascinating how we work as humans.  We’re so unique.     But it’s being able to take the step back from it being something ‘wrong’ with us on an identity level (Spoiler alert...it’s not!) to understanding it’s a bunch of ways our brains and body have been trying to protect us and that we can CHANGE it...it’s incredibly empowering and liberating.  We look at it so differently, with less emotion, less frustration.   So how do you even start?!   You start small!   The things that helped me and all my clients are ALL the things I talk about on The Positive Pants Podcast.     They are how I live my life now.     On the daily.     I can always tell if I’ve let something slip a little bit because I will FEEL it.     This is why i’m always harping on about routine and doing the basics, it’s often the most simple stuff that can make the biggest difference.     You’ve got to be aware of this stuff so you can catch it before it takes hold.    So some things are more short term than others but there are some FUNDAMENTALS for me.     The basic non negotiables are my morning and evening routine.     Meditation, reading, walking, journaling (I’m bringing out my EXACT method in The Positive Pants Planner so make sure you get on the waitlist!) being in nature, self care!   I told you they were simple!    When there’s something in particular that I want to work on I'll immerse myself in it.  I’ll read books about it, listen to podcasts, watch youtube videos or videos from Gaia on it.  I’ll get all up in that issue and give it focus and I do the work.   If an issue is being particularly pesky I will have some NLP or hypnotherapy...maybe even go down the woo route and get a little energy healing! (Acupuncture, Reiki, Kinesiology are some of my favourites)   All you need is awareness of the issue, and a determination to change it.    These issues I've had are not issues anymore, sure occasionally they may rear their ugly heads from time to time in some way, shape or form...my body and my mind remembers them...BUT I have the awareness to catch it, get curious as to why it may be showing up and deal with it.   They don’t define me.   They are things I've dealt with, not who I am.    Whatever is going on for you doesn’t define you either.   Give yourself some credit for the power that you have.    Take action.     Whether that’s reaching out to someone like me for guidance, or a charity or mental health professional, or even a friend or loved one.  Whether it’s going to events, learning more, reading books...however you choose to start your journey towards change...just start it.   If I can do it, YOU can do it.   Fx
May 20, 2020
Bounce Back Series: Moira Doherty, Business Coach For The Over 45s Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min If you're a woman over 45 and you're inspired by Moira's story make sure you go find here through any of the links below!   Life begins at 45 FB group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1383921175093565/ Moira Doherty Business Coach FB page https://www.facebook.com/moiradohertybusinesscoach/ Moira's website : lifebeginsat45.com and https://www.moiradohertybusinesscoach.com/ Welcome back to The Bounce Back Series.  I have a treat for you today in the form of Moira Doherty, a previous client of mine who is talking the world by storm!   As a 61-year-old serial entrepreneur, she is now shining the light on women aged 45 and over, who feel they have missed their career opportunity in life and help them fulfil their own dreams.  Moira wants them to know anything is possible, and she hopes her success later in life, shows what can be achieved.   Moira’s movement for older women, is called “life Begins at 45” and is rapidly growing. These are women who want to stand up and be counted and feel there’s something more for them out there, much like she did 30 years ago when she embarked on running her first business.   Moira's success has been super quick and has been born out of a time of great sadness for her.  She really is the epitome of showing up for yourself and living life to the fullest.   If you're a woman over 45 and you're inspired by Moira's story make sure you go join her free group HERE.   Enjoy!
May 18, 2020
Replay Series: How To Let Go Of Certainty   Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: Welcome back to the replay series, reminding you of all the power you still have right at your finger tips, global pandemic or no global pandemic.   Certainty is a funny thing, you can listen to this with a lovely bit of hindsight to it because if you think back to March 2020 when lock down was announced you could feel the panic across the country. Everyone wanted, or NEEDED, answers.  But there were none to be had!   We wanted all the things we tell ourselves we can rely on like deadlines, certain ways of doing things, being able to find answers, time frames...all went out the window.   BUT, for many this has been a massive catapult outside the 'normal' way of doing things which has allowed us to question EVERYTHING!   Question the way we do things, the way we think about things, the way we look at things...all of it. Which means we have an opportunity to see some things for what they really are, instead of what we always THOUGHT they were...or rather accepted and told ourselves they were.  Are you still with me??   So Have a listen/read of this episode and think back to how you felt at the beginning of lockdown to now.   For many there is a big need for it to end, for others it's been hugely embraced.    Whichever camp you're in there will be a part of you, no matter how small,  that began t accept the uncertainty in one way or another.  So even if you're still having a difficult time you can take a small piece of comfort in how you CAN handle the unknown.  How you CAN cope with uncertainty.    If you're still struggling please remember there are LOTS of places to turn.    Anxiety UK Samaritans For the original episode please click HERE. 
May 13, 2020
Bounce Back Series: Caroline Carlsen, Start Up Business Mentor   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   You can find more about the lovely Caroline here: www.carolinecarlsen.com www.instagram.com/carolinelcarlsen www.facebook.com/groups/planasociety Welcome back to The Bounce Back Series on The Positive Pants Podcast.   Today I have a little treat for you from a former client of mine, Caroline Carlsen.   We're talking all about how to bounce back when your dream becomes more of a nightmare.    How to have the courage to pivot when you realise you've created something you don't really want and the courage to get things wrong, knowing it will lead you to exactly where you need to go.   Caroline is a multi-passionate business coach and owner of an award-winning (and super freaking cute) Scandinavian Cafe in Glasgow.    She started her own journey into self-discovery and finding her purpose by taking a big leap of faith into the unknown.   Now, she helps passionate entrepreneurs do the same by teaching them how to have the confidence to take their side hustle full time and replace their 9-5 income.   You can find more about the lovely Caroline here: www.carolinecarlsen.com www.instagram.com/carolinelcarlsen www.facebook.com/groups/planasociety
May 11, 2020
Replay Series: Why You Need To Watch Your Thoughts!   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Welcome back to the replay series of The Positive Pants Podcast.  I love this episode because it follows on so nicely from Stories and really explains why we need to make the unconscious conscious.   In this episode we talk about how your thoughts lead to behaviour which will result in either getting...or not getting exactly what you want...or think will happen.   When you can understand the basics of this you can really start to leverage it to your advantage and become more aware.   Especially while we're in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic it's more important than ever to watch those thoughts and have a really solid level of awareness of the things we say to ourselves and how it shapes our behaviour and can cause us to self sabotage BIG time.   Enjoy!
May 6, 2020
Bounce Back Series: Lisa Johnson, Passive Income Queen Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Where you can find Lisa: The Fabulous 5% Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thefabulous5percent/ www.lisajohnsoncoaching.co.uk www.facebook.com/lisajohnsoncoaching www.instagram.com/lisajohnsoncoaching Welcome back to the Bounce Back Series.  I really hope you've been enjoying them so far and they've been giving you a little bit of inspiration, hope and perhaps even a metaphorical kick up the butt.    I have a treat for you today.  My glorious friend Lisa Johnson of Lisa Johnson Coaching, 7 figure business owner and passive income queen.   Lisa is the epitome of making sure you're being yourself while running an online business, and that no matter where you come from you can be anything you want to be.     Lisa shares with us her incredible story and shows us how possible it is to not let our stories hold us back from going after what we want in life.   Lisa is a 7 figure business owner and known as the passive income queen and runs her business with integrity at the heart of it.  If you don't know her yet make sure you go find her over at The Fabulous 5% Facebook Group.    Enjoy!!
May 4, 2020
Replay Series: How The Stories You Tell Yourself Hold You Back! Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Welcome back to the replay series, hand curated episodes to remind you that you have all the tools you need at your disposal...Global pandemic or no global pandemic.   Today i'm reminding you of the importance of stories.  The deep rooted beliefs that we have that create the stories we tell ourselves as 'fact.'   So have a listen and while you do have a think about the stories you're telling yourself right now about what you can and can't do and more specifically WHY.  Start to challenge them.  Are they really true?  Even at first view if it looks like they are?   For example, if you have a business, what are you telling yourself about sales right now?  It's not ethical to sell?  Nobody is buying?  It's not the right time for people? Really dig in and work out what they are because I can guarantee you they're either propelling you forward or holding you right back.   Here's the original episode for you if you're more of a reader!    Enjoy!
April 29, 2020
Bounce Back Series: Dani Wallace, aka The Queen Bee - International, Celebrity Speaker Coach. Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Where you can find out more about and follow Dani: Dani's handle on all the socials is @TheQueenBeeDani Dani's free group is The IATQB Hive    This episode in the Bounce Back Series is just joy in your earbuds.   I've got the glorious Dani Wallace with me talking all things showing up for yourself.    Coming back from homelessness, domestic violence and suicidal thoughts to becoming a sought after international celebrity speaker coach and starting The Queen Bee Movement.   We talk about using your adversity for good and living life according to the basics! (Something we know i'm a BIG fan of!)   If you want to feel empowered, inspired and motivated that you can do ANYTHING you want to then whack this in your ear buds now.   Enjoy!
April 27, 2020
Replay: How To Get Out of Overwhelm Into Action Show note links:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Original Episode: https://www.franexcell.com/overwhelmtoaction/ Welcome back to the replay series of previous Positive Pants Podcast episodes that are PERFECT for where we're at right now in lockdown.   I'm continuing to highlight ALL the tools you already have in your armoury right now.  Many people have felt stuck in overwhelm at this time.  There's been pressure to DO DO DO, Don't waste the time...easier said than done when you're in overwhelm because it can feel paralysing.   Hopefully i'm here to help. Been there done it and got the t-shirt many times and I remember the feeling SO well when back in 2014 we lost everything and somehow had to pick ourselves back up and DO something about it.   Follow even just a few of these steps and you'll start to get yourself moving again.  Don't put pressure on yourself for how long that takes...just get moving, even if it's baby steps.  They're still steps in the right direction.   Please do DM me any questions, feedback, let me know what you're struggling with so I can help.  If you want to take advantage of my limited power hour sessions to get you out of your head and back on track then DM me or email fran@franexcell.com   Enjoy!
April 26, 2020
Bounce Back Series: Nicky Booton, Confidence And Empowerment Coach Show note links: Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Where you can find out more about the lovely Nicky: www.nickybootoncoaching.co.uk (Free Facebook group) https://m.facebook.com/groups/pride-of-the-rising-lioness#_=_ https://www.instagram.com/nickyb_coaching https://www.facebook.com/NickyBootonCoaching   If you've ever had anything happen in your life where it's completely floored your self esteem and you'd love to know how to get that back, along with oodles of confidence and a little joy thrown in for good measure then this is the episode for you.   Sometimes when big things happen to us we get to a crossroad where we have a choice.    We can let it define us and stay in victim mode or we can choose to let it fuel us and allow ourselves to grow from it.    There's no judgement to be made either way.    If you know something has happened that has resulted in beliefs and behaviours that just don't serve you anymore then stick this episode in your ear buds with my wonderful former client and all round bundle of joy Nicky Booton.   Enjoy!    
April 20, 2020
How To Build Resilience   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Resilience is one of my favourite topics because I get really excited about the fact that it's isn't something you just 'have' or 'don't have', it's absolutely a learned skill.   I found my resilience the hard way so you get to benefit from what I learned and potentially take a short cut.   For me positivity and optimism are all about resilience.  It is absolutely a key, and essential, part of it.  It's a way of thinking for me.  It's something I get better and better at over time and honestly consider it one of my key skills.   And you can learn that too!   So I hope you enjoy this replay because I think it's perfect timing for everything that's going on.  You can't choose your first reaction to something but you can ALWAYS choose your second...and rewire your brain to bounce back more quickly every time.   Things are going to happen.  Life is going to happen. Things can't be great ALL the time.  It's not possible.  BUT if we can master how we handle situations, and how quickly we can bounce back from them then we're onto a winner.    It ties in really nicely with the bounce back series of interviews i'm doing at the moment so you can see how I and other people do it.  AND it ties in perfectly with the Positive Pants Planner too because one of the key things it builds for you is resilience so if you're not on the waitlist yet, get over to www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist   Enjoy! Fx
April 16, 2020
The Bouncing Back Series: Jessica Lorimer, Sales Coach, Talks Bouncing Back, Pivoting and Being Honest With Yourself!   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Welcome to the very first Positive Pants Interview in the Bounce Back Series.   I aim to bring you people who will inspire you to keep going in this bonus series.  To know that no matter how tough things get there is always something amazing on the other side if you choose it.    Mostly I want you to know you're not alone.   In this episode my wonderful friend, and flipping epic sales coach, Jessica Lorimer talks about how she bounced back from devastating news.  How she's stood in her 'truth' and will continue to do so regardless of what people may think.    She talks pivoting her incredibly successful business to something more in line with who she is, her values and what she wants from life.   We talk multiple revenue streams, we talk judgement, we talk resilience, we talk honesty and we maaaaaay touch on how we're handling things during Coronavirus right now...just a little bit...I promise!   I hope you enjoy.     Fx
April 13, 2020
  Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Reframing is one of my absolute favourite tools and something I use every day.   My ability to use this in any situation allows me to take an important step back from any initial emotion and see a situation for what it really is....or what it COULD be if I choose it or allow it to be.   Right now this ability is going to be your best friend.  Things may be occurring in your life or to loved ones that are out of your control and feel like the end of everything.  I know, I've been there.     This is one of the very reasons i'm starting my new bonus interview series with amazing business owners I know who have gone through, what at the time felt like the end of the world to come out bigger, better, stronger and happier in the the process.  They all have this ability.   To not let their initial reaction to something be the be all and end all of how they see it.  It's about thinking differently.  It's about problem solving and it's about optimism.  It's challenging their own thoughts and beliefs to make something work for them...no matter how negative it may feel at the time.   I hope you enjoy!   Original post on Reframing HERE
April 6, 2020
  Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Today i'm bringing you back to an oldie but a goodie and something that right now, in the midst of a global pandemic, is more important than ever. I'm seeing SO much overthinking going on and it's completely understandable but it's causing so much more anxiety, stress and fear than is necessary.    You have so much more control over your own situation than you give yourself credit for and getting yourself into a loop of overthinking is not going to help.  We need to try and shift it from overthinking into simplified critical thinking, going outside of the box.     If you're in one of these loops right now, I 100% feel you.  This used to rule my life.  When we lost everything 6 years ago I remember it very vividly.  It almost makes you feel like you're being productive in some way to overthink.  You think you're protecting yourself and trying to prepare for every potential outcome.  But the reality is, a little bit of surrender is needed.   We all want to know what's coming round the corner but we can't right now.  No one has the answer except you.   You can only do what you can do, it's time we drop the rest. and shift how we're thinking.  Shift the focus to the areas that are going to be so much more helpful for you in the longrun!   So I hope this helps. How To Stop Overthinkings: https://www.franexcell.com/stop_over_thinking/  
March 30, 2020
  Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min     I've been talking in my Insta stories (@imfranexcell) about how the tools I teach can be used time and time again, during a global pandemic or any other day,  so I wanted to re-release the key episodes that can help the most right now.   I will be coming to you with episodes on boundaries, Journaling, how to handle overwhelm, how to focus, how to change your state, resilience and ALL sorts with a little snippet like this on how you can apply it right now!    I've chosen to re-release this episode first for you because I genuinely believe it's going to be the quickest and easiest way for you to start shifting your focus and improving how you feel while we're all getting used to our very un normal new normal.    I'm going to release an episode very soon about my story and coming back from losing everything because I think it's so relevant for us right now while during Coronavirus it's one of people's biggest fears.   There is a LOT going on and even with limiting or social media or watching the news it's hard to remember to focus on all the good, and potential good.     We also want to make sure you're not wiring your brain for fear, anxiety and negativity while we're at home and living in uncertainty.   This process is one of the very reasons i'm still feeling calm in the chaos. It's how i'm wired differently.  I used Neuroplasticity to train my brain to be that way.    I never deny negative emotions, I probably embrace them more when they show up because I know they're trying to tell me something or something needs to be released. But my brain just goes to looking for any potential positives there might be.  I'm more resilient, I reframe ALL the time and it's just how I think.  So the more you do this the more it will become YOUR way of habitually thinking.   This is why i'm creating my own journal 'The Positive Pants Planner' I want everyone to understand just how simple it can be to change your while life.  So if you want to sign up for the waitlist then just head to www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist to be the first to know when it's ready.   Please share this with your friends and loved ones and DM me what you're struggling with right now and how I can help.
March 23, 2020
  Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!)   The C Word, Shame, respect and Toxicity   The C word is taking over every feed imaginable still, for obvious reasons!   It’s bringing out the best in some people, the worst in others.  There have definitely been a few other ‘side effects’ in society (for positive and negative) and in the business world for sure.   I very much don’t want to contribute to a problem so i’ll talk to you about how i’m handling it and my take on it and from next week i’ll be re-releasing some key episodes that I know are going to help and remind you of all the tools you already have at your disposal...without turning everything into a C word frenzy that I believe is perpetuating the problem.     Now is a time to apply and use what you already know!  Especially when trying to juggle it with partners and kids around too!   People are looking for NEW solutions everywhere and are forgetting all the tools and resources they already have.     This is certainly not about denying what’s going on in any way because it’s very real and very devastating for a lot of people.     I choose to look at things a certain way and you may look at them another but I wanted to offer up a potentially different perspective.   I was talking to my husband about why I feel so strongly about what I’m going to talk you through and have been racking my brains thinking ‘am I completely missing something here, am I wrong in what I believe right now’ and I came to the conclusion that a huge amount of how I feel is because i’ve been there, done it and got the t-shirt on losing everything before.     6 years ago when we lost our business, our home, our relationship was tested to the limit, we had to move in with my mother in law and had absolutely no money so we did nothing but stay indoors and worry and panic and get a bit depressed.     BUT, It’s what sent me on the path to here with the dream house, the dream dog, the businesses and qualifications that I have where I get to help people think differently, overcome their unconscious programming and not be ruled by their emotions.     In essence everything is SO much better now than it ever would have been had it not happened, and I trust that that will happen again.     I know what mistakes I made last time, what helped and what didn’t.     I lived it and it was very painful and I'm very grateful for it.  I’m wired for resilience. I’m wired to accept the bad and look for the good in it.     So as much as there has been a big financial loss so far and we have NO idea how all this is going to go...i’m actually totally ok with it.     The more special content that gets created, specifically around the worry or anxiety element of what’s going on, the more I believe people WILL worry and feel anxious because it’s repeating the message that the majority ARE worrying and anxious. The more people see these messages the more the underlying tone is that they SHOULD feel that way.     As humans we have a need to ‘fit in’.  Our basic needs are being challenged right now.  Our need for safety is being hugely challenged, but one up from that is the need for belonging, we’re looking to be the same as others.  To feel part of a community right now.     When you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs you can see why this is having such a profound effect on everyone.     First it’s our basic needs such as food, water, shelter...toilet roll has very obviously become one of our core basic needs but you can see where the selfish stockpiling is coming from!    Next on the hierarchy is safety. Personal, employment, health. Massively challenged right now in every way.   Then we have love and belonging.  Friends, family and a sense of connection.  So when we’re self isolating it’s no wonder people are seeking this online.   Then you have esteem.  Feeling respected, your status in the world and a sense of accomplishment.  You can see this in a lot of business owners right now.     Worrying about their business ‘failing’ OR going way above and beyond to do extra for their audiences.   And at the top you have self actualisation and the desire to be the best person you can be, morality is a big piece of this.  So it’s no wonder people are getting so judgy and opinionated.   On all levels our core basic needs are being threatened and tested.   We’re all being ruled by our egos right now...big time!   In these crazy times a little more compassion and a little less judgement will go a long way.     I don’t want to make anyone ‘wrong’ and that’s not my intention at all, I appreciate we all have different takes and opinions and beliefs around this, this is just my take on things, you will have your own.   Online the hysteria is being added to on a continual basis.  There’s added pressure on business owners in SO many ways.   There’s the revenue for starters!   There’s potential relationship strains and kids running round feet.    There’s the VERY loud opinions, judgements and SHOULDS all over the show.   There’s the feeling that you need to ‘follow suit’ and if they’re doing X, Y and Z then you should be too.   There’s a lot of very well meaning business owners showing up for their audiences for free in a VERY big way….which is lovely, and comes from a really good place.     And some of it is genuinely helpful, absolutely spot on for what people genuinely need right now and helps them KEEP focus and keep their eyes on their goals for once we’re out the other side of this, because we will, the rest is just extra noise and potentially causing a bit of a problem.     What do I mean by that?  It’s perpetuating the anxiety, in many cases creating it when it may not have been there before.     It’s creating lots of extra ‘things to do’ in a time where there could be some real focus and opportunity if you choose to look at it that way.   It’s causing people to keep looking for the next free thing that they ‘need’ right now.  It’s freebie shiny object syndrome on steroids.   So there’s a fine line and for me some of it is really adding to the problem in many ways.  I absolutely see the merit in it all don’t get me wrong, like I said, it’s coming from a good place mostly.     But when everyone else is following suit it’s becoming overwhelming for people to consume and also feel like they need to create to keep up.     It’s also keeping the focus on what’s going on, rather than just carrying on as best we can, focusing on what we CAN do rather than what we can’t and taking advantage of the time to do all the things we convince ourselves we don’t have time for.   So what i’m saying is, take a step back and consider what you REALLY need right now vs feeling like you need EVERYTHING on offer right now purely because it’s been linked in the messaging to Coronavirus somehow, and staying off the endless scroll looking for it.     I bet if you have a look back you already have a tonne of things that you’ve already bought and paid for that you can finally use that perhaps wasn’t a priority before, even if it’s just a case of asking someone else to brainstorm with you.  The answers are already out there for you.   The biggest thing that I see as a problem is all the shaming that’s going on.   People are shaming people for selling, they’re shaming people for not selling.     They’re shaming people for being negative and now for being positive!  The trolls are out in force and they’re ANGRY!   STOP THE INTERNET I WANT TO GET OFF!   What’s with all the judgement?!     I get that people are angry and scared and there’s some very real, REAL stuff going on right now but we have not lost all our faculties and ability to be good humans.    The phrase ‘toxic positivity’ is being bandied around a fair amount that i’ve seen.  And i’ve been limiting my social media intake big time because that’s what i’m choosing to do at this time.  I’m loving Instagram so head over there and follow me @imfranexcell and come play. Facey B i’m taking some time off.   I know it helps me keep a level head to only read reputable sources to make sure I'm informed and I choose to stay out of the madness, hysteria and away from people jumping on various bandwagons.   People are addicted to it. I wholeheartedly understand that, but it is also a choice.   When it comes to the posts i’m seeing it’s now veering towards the ‘It’s ok however you’re feeling you don’t have to be positive if you don’t feel it, it’s ok to feel stressed and anxious and down if that’s what you feel’   While I do completely understand the sentiment but I don’t completely agree, for good reason.    Physiologically it is NOT good to stay in fear.  In fight or flight mode with cortisol and adrenaline running through your system lowering your immune system and impeding your ability to think clearly.     Of COURSE you’re going to be feeling negative emotions at times right now, we all are and that IS ok.  Just please don’t dwell there for longer than you need to.     Moments of stress, tears and wobbles are one thing, having it validated to you by people that you trust that it’s ok to LIVE there, and essentially unconsciously being given ‘permission’ to live there right now is not going to help.   On top of the physiological effects it’s also going to allow you to make excuses to yourself to stay there.   You’re also creating new neural pathways in your brain for anxiety and fear to become the path of least resistance.  You’re creating new habitual ways of thinking.   You’re also essentially training your brain to show you MORE of it.     I’ve talked to you about the reticular activating system before, it’s your brain's spam filter.  When you stay in fear, anxiety and worry you’re essentially training it to show you and filter out all the evidence that that’s right.     So when you see more and more of it and unconsciously ignore any positives, that fear and anxiety is inevitably going to grow and get worse.   We’re all looking to validate our own stories and opinions all the time.  It’s how we tick. We want people to tell us it’s ok to be however we are and feel whatever we feel.     While that’s true, everyone is perfect as they are….what’s NOT true is that it’s healthy to stay in fear and anxiety.  What’s NOT true is it’s ok for people to be in a state they don’t actually want to be in.   I’ve talked before about how negative emotions can be helpful and are not to be ignored, suppressed or paid attention to.  They ARE incredibly helpful and a big part in being positive.   It’s not about victim shaming but there is something to be said for making sure you’re not encouraging people to stay in that place.    It’s a fine line and we can have so many secondary gains from being in a negative headspace so we don’t need to make it even easier for people to stay there.     For me it’s just about having a really good, solid self awareness and curiosity.     Misery also loves company so if you’re too far the other way then it’s almost as if the negativity starts being encouraged.     Positivity isn’t about FALSE positivity...FAKING it.     It’s about increasing your resilience, it’s about faith that even if it’s a bit rubbish now that it WILL be ok.     It’s being able to bounce back quickly and think on your feet, it’s behavioural flexibility.     It’s emotional intelligence and being able to regulate your emotions and not be consumed by them.   It’s about asking for help when you feel you can’t do it alone.   It is NOT about pretending things aren’t happening, or faking positivity when you don’t feel it.     It’s about CHOOSING to look for any potential positives and understanding that you do have that choice.   It’s about being able to be calm and level headed in chaos, even if you have plenty to be concerned about.   It’s being able to zoom out from your emotions or a situation and look at it rationally.     It’s acceptance of and surrender to what you can’t control.     It’s about being able to see the positive IN the negative.  Not DENYING it!   Denying negative emotions makes them GROW.     So feel what you need to feel, wobble, rant, cry...but USE the tools to change your state when you want to or know you need to.     You WILL feel the full spectrum of emotions during such uncertainty.  Our brains are in overdrive, they crave safety and certainty and we can’t give that right now.    It’s about not making you or your emotions wrong OR forcing it.   We’ve been Catapulted out of our habitual thinking, which I actually think is going to be AMAZING for us all in the long run, individually and globally!  No more doing things just because it’s the way they’ve always been done.     So let’s not start being negative about positivity!    People are all going to handle this how they feel they need to so even if you think something judgemental and mean….just think before you share it!   You don’t have to take MY opinion either, but you’re listening to my podcast so I thought i’d share it ha!   I’m all about trying to help people think differently and get out of their stories and i’m not going to stop doing that now.   I’m also not going to be offering special Coronavirus content (other than this) or offers.  I’m not saying there is anything ‘wrong’ with that, it’s just not what I’M going to do right now.     The content and offers I would put out for or during Coronavirus is EXACTLY the same as I would for any other issue around mindset and productivity.  (Bet you’re all really figuring out right now why I do both together ha! Inextricably linked!)     I want you guys to apply it ALL the time, not just now.  This is the PERFECT time to put into practice what i’ve been teaching for years!   So I cultivated around 18 previous episodes that can and WILL help right now.     All around boundaries with family at home, how to maintain focus, how to change your state, the power of habits and routine, why managing your energy is important, letting go of ‘shoulds’, remembering to do the basics and use the resources you’ve already got, listening to your gut, not getting caught in worry loops, how to stop overthinking, self discipline, how to overcome your stories, secondary gains, taking responsibility, why your thoughts are so important, perspective, the power of language, how not to fear haters….there’s TONNES!    Hopefully you can see how it’s all relevant right now.   It’s all already there for you to binge in around 10-15 minutes each!   You can find them over on my insta stories highlights and on my facebook page and my personal facebook profile.    Over the next few weeks i’m going to be re-releasing some of them with a little snippet at the beginning for how you can apply it and make it relevant for right now but it’s important to me that you learn these tools for use WHENEVER you need them.    One of the things I'm doing right now, in my way, on my terms, is to really limit my social media.     One so I don’t have to see any scare mongering or false facts and two to stay clear of any comparison.    I’m taking advantage of the gift of this extra time.    I’m listening to the government guidelines and staying at home, staying sane and sensible.    I’m revisiting courses I didn’t complete.   I’m reading SO much.     I’m dancing round the kitchen.     I’ve been making things in the kitchen with Tobyn.     I’ve been singing Disney and show tunes at the top of my lungs.     I’ve been standing outside in the sunshine and now I'm up and about after my surgery I will be taking Milo for walks.     I’ve bought a flower press and we’re going foraging for plants and flowers and we’re going to put them up on the wall.     I’m finding I'm going back to lots of things I loved doing as a kid.   We’re going to do all the DIY and clearing that we ‘never have time for’.   I’ve been on zoom calls and facetime with clients, friends and loved ones.   I’ve been playing some of my favourite silly games like Dobble.     I’ve been cuddling Milo.   I’ve been SO grateful for our position and that we still have our health, as do my loved ones.   I’ve been angry at people continuing to not take it seriously and putting others in danger, I’ve been angry at the selfish behaviour that’s been displayed.   I’ve been joyful at all the good news I fill my instagram feed with (if you want to see some follow me @imfranexcell)   I’ve been using all the tools in my toolkit, meditation, mindfulness, NLP, Anchors, Journaling etc.   I’ve had moments of realisation about the amount of money I've lost, then I've put things into perspective and got back to gratitude.   I’ve accepted that things I was SO excited about are now not happening.   I’ve accepted that what I thought 2020 was going to look like isn’t going to turn out that way and stayed open to it bringing positive change somehow.     I don’t need to know what that looks like just yet, I’m just open to it.   I’ve surrendered.  I’m accepting of what I am and am not in control of in this situation and I'm grounded in doing what I need to do for me, regardless of what other people are doing.   I’m still offering all my same services including 1:1, my mastermind, power hours and my SOS service.  If you want more information just DM me on @imfranexcell or drop me an email on hello@franexcell.com.    I’m not putting any additional pressure on myself, or allowing anyone else to put pressure on me.   I’m being there for my clients who will and do feel all the feels but know they don’t want to stay there and are using all their resources to make sure they are where they want to be.   I’ve been helping people pivot, think differently, reframe.  The whole 9 yards.   I’ve let go of expectation.   I’m choosing to look for the good.   Yes there are a huge amount of negatives about what’s happening for a lot of people.     BUT, there is potential for SO much good.     As I mentioned, we’ve ALL been catapulted out of habitual thinking.  I can only see this as a good thing.     We’re all getting to use parts of our brains that have been running on autopilot for however long.     We’re being forced to slow down (a good thing for me as a perpetual ‘achiever’ with a superwoman complex)     We’ve been given a gift of time to ‘catch up’ with ourselves.     We’ve been given an opportunity to reassess everything and really think about what we want from life.  It’s given us an opportunity to not take things for granted and be grateful for what we have and where we are.   There’s no denying this is catastrophic for some people.  People are losing loved ones, it’s financially devastating to many, people are having to navigate schedule upheavals and bored kids (I’ve been SO impressed with some of the boundary setting i’ve been seeing from my mum friends!).   It’s not about undermining anyones experience in this.  It sucks. It truly sucks.      It’s not about feeling bad for feeling sad, or feeling bad for choosing to look at the positives.  It’s all judgement in one way or another.     But there is a LOT of good around if you choose to look for it.  We will come out of this stronger. We don’t need to know how right now.     It’s going to require a deep breath and a lot of trust.   This is just how I'm choosing to see it.     It’s my opinion and it doesn’t have to be yours.     You don’t have to agree, or judge, but you can respect it’s my opinion and respect the choices I make and I hope you will all do the same for each other.   If things are triggering you, zoom out and ask yourself why.  Where are you sweating the small stuff in the grand scheme of things that are going on right now?   My Instagram is going to be a force for positivity (the honest, genuine kind, not the toxic kind).     I’m not going to be on facebook too much.  I’m DEFINITELY going to be in the DMs so please do message me!  I’m continuing to offer my services.     Do what you’ve got to do, for yourself, in your business, it’s totally up to you.  You don’t have to ‘follow suit’ just because you think you ‘should’.    Everyone is going to do what they need to do and (as long as you’re taking government advice and trying not to be a d**k in the supermarkets) they should not be judged for handling it the way they feel they need to.   No guilt, no shame.    Keep your sense of humour.   Look at the NHS frontliners risking their lives and do what you can in terms of staying at home.   Perhaps when this is over we’ll have more respect for others, complain less, give more.  Who knows! We don't know what's going to happen...but we never did!   We’re globally in it together!    The only thing we ever have control over is ourselves and how we respond to things and that’s always been the case.   Stay strong, stay safe, stay sane, use your common sense and reach out for help when you need it.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
March 16, 2020
How To Stay Calm In Uncertain Times   There is no denying there’s a LOT going on in the world right now.    There is a lot of uncertainty and panic around Coronavirus.    The virus itself, and the financial implications and global economic implications moving forward.   It’s big stuff.    There is an air of panic and fear running through the whole world.   If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know i’m not really one to jump on bandwagons, I often feel it can do a lot more harm than good. I’ve done what I usually do in these situations and try to not contribute to a problem but this is something I can do and feel is important.     At the moment anywhere I look is literally full to the brim with posts on Coronavirus, you can’t escape it.   My email inbox, facebook, instagram, twitter, everywhere.     I’m choosing to delete and unfollow the vast majority of it because the vast majority of it is rubbish and I understand how toxic it can be and how quickly it can affect your mental health.   I also very much like to ‘stay in my own lane’ a little bit and do my own thing when it comes to social media rather than do anything simply because other people are, so thankfully I know how to limit my intake, what to watch out for and and when it’s potentially becoming harmful.   But there is some very real stuff going on right now.  There is an element of requiring some cold hard facts so you know hoe best to protect yourself and your loved ones.  Those are very difficult to come by because there is so much that is unknown and so many sources spinning things in various ways that don’t perhaps necessarily reflect the true picture.   There are people playing it down, people playing it up, people trying to get more eyeballs on content or sell more papers and those who are trying to genuinely inform.  It’s difficult to separate it all.   Fear, panic and anxiety spread like wildfire so it’s important to understand how you can stay calm amidst the panic and make sure you don’t go down that rabbit hole.     I’m seeing people who aren’t panicking, panicking because they aren’t panicking and feel like they SHOULD be panicking because everyone else is panicking.     People being forced into panic buying things purely because the shelves have been utterly stripped bare and you can’t get online deliveries for weeks leaving vulnerable people without.   We’ve gone, it seems, slightly mad.   Only a few short weeks ago we were telling everyone to be kind and now we’re fisticuffs at dawn over loo roll and screw anyone else who may need it more.  Which makes me sad.    We have a responsibility to ourselves and each other. We’re all in this together.  It’s unprecedented and we can’t predict what’s going to hapen next but we need to pull together, not tear each other apart.   It’s important in times like this to know what YOUR opinion is and what’s right for YOU because nobody knows that but you.     Nobody can TELL you that.     You need to do what you think is right.   I am actually VERY grateful that I had an operation last Thursday so i’ve been on lock down at home since then and i’m also hugely grateful that I live in the countryside and my husband hates social media so if i’m choosing not to look at things I don’t have him riling me up from the sidelines either.     So if you choose that you don’t want to engage in the conversations or scaremongering then just let your loved ones know what your boundaries are on it.   Virus aside, the global financial and mental health implications of this have been HUGE and they’ve been fast.     It’s very natural to worry.  I’ve got friends who in the space of a couple of weeks are having to think about folding their businesses.   Freelancers who’ve had work cancelled with no new contracts coming up.   People who’ve lost jobs with no one else hiring.   It’s very easy in situations like this to feel like we’re out of options.     The fight or flight response in itself actually LOWERS your immune system, it also inhibits your ability to think creatively, to problem solve.  So, not the best state to be in in a time like this.   You can’t make a positive decision from a negative place so we need to use every tool in our tool kit to get us back to a space of level headedness so we can do what’s necessary.   People seem to not have even mentioned the people who already struggle with anxiety or OCD, think what they’re going through right now!  If that’s you, please know there are amazing resources for you like Anxiety UK or OCD Action.  If you’ve not had a look before, please please do!   Don’t let other people’s negativity feed yours.  Protect yourself from it as best you can.   This is a time to adapt, to innovate, to collaborate.    To act resposibly and objectively.     Your experience is not anyone elses.    It’s going to require you to be more agile, to have behavioural flexibility and think outside of the box.  But just please, don’t panic.   I used to be the world's biggest catastrophiser. Worry was basically my middle name.    This has and will have a big effect on my life and my income for the foreseeable months but it WILL pass and i’m not panicking.    I know it doesn’t help.  At all.   I’m just thinking outside the box.   I also know every time something awful has happened it’s led me somewhere way better so I trust that will happen here somehow.     I don’t need to know how, I just have to trust it.   I know i’m resilient, I know i’m adaptable...and so are you!  You just might not know it yet or be as practiced at it but if I can think this way so can you.     The way I always choose to look at things if ever I catch myself in a ‘worry’ moment is this…(I’ve talked about more ways to help in How to stop over thinking and don’t get caught in a worry loop)   Who is it helping to panic and worry right now? . Who is it harming to panic and worry right now?   Is there anything I myself have control over in this situation?    If so, go do that thing! If there’s nothing, go back to questions 1 and 2.   When you can objectively look at your thoughts in that way it will really help.   Take a step back and observe them rather than get consumed by them.   Remember what anxiety is, it’s future tripping.     All about the negative ‘what ifs.’    Remind yourself that the brain doesn’t distinguish between what's real and imagined and use it to your advantage, and to stop you using it to your detriment.  Imagine yourself and your loved ones with healthy immune systems, picture your business when Coronavirus is a distant memory.    Fear and panic. Fear is a natural response to what's going on.  It’s a threat both to our health and to our wealth. But, a reminder, cortisol and adrenaline are pumping through your veins which lowers your immune system and your IQ and your EQ and ability to manage your emotions!    So what can you be doing to remain calm in practical terms?   Find any good you can in the situation.     That’s not saying, ignore the bad by any means, but choose to look for any positives.  For example, what can you do with any extra time you’ve now got? If you’re kids are home with you how can you adapt to make it fun and not too disruptive? What is this happening going to cuse you to implement in your business for the better? The fact that you’re home safe. The opportunity to be creative.  Notice where people are coming together and joining forces for the positive good. There are TONNES of things to find if you choose to look for them.   Make sure you’re doing the usual things I talk about to make you feel good but also, PRIORITISE them in times of uncertainty because they ALL help.     Eat well, drink lots of water, meditate, yoga or do something that gets you moving and getting those endorphins pumping round your body, breathing techniques, EFT, gratitude, acts of kindness in the community or online. Anything that brings you back into balance and calm.   Make sure you don’t get lonely, arrange zoom room coffee (or wine) dates with friends and colleagues.    Ask yourself and remind yourself...What ARE you in control of right now?   Adaptation.  Look at what's already happening.  I’ve seen so many businesses innovating, bringing things online, changing events to virtual summits.  What could you do right now? If nothing springs to mind, hop into a group or any memberships you’re in and brainstorm some ideas, ASK for help.    Where is there a potential opportunity for you to diversify, to put systems in place where it would be less of an impact were anything to happen in the future?   Choose your sources of information wisely.  I mean this one very seriously. Consistent ‘shock value’ headlines and misinformation being shared on social media is utterly TOXIC and not helping ANYONE...check the source and don’t blindly share things unless you know it’s from a reputable one.     So much of the hysteria that’s been going on simply didn’t need to happen.  I mean the craziness over loo roll is like nothing i’ve ever seen and it’s caused chaos and MORE panic for those in need.       Choose to surround yourself with positivity in terms of what you’re watching, reading, seeing in your social feeds. Delete, block, mute anything that’s triggering you.    I’ve been putting a few of my favourite accounts to follow in my stories that are full of joy and positivity.  @goodnews_movement @mr.pokee @tanksgoodnews are a few of my faves.    Be disciplined with yourself and don’t waste the time and energy scrolling the hysteria, hype, fake news, misinformation or exaggeration.  Be objective and be able to look at it for what it is.   If your income has been hit, what else could you do quickly in the short term to get a boost of income?   The online retail industry is booming right now because people are stuck inside, bored, shopping on Amazon, Ebay etc.  I’m in a lot of ecommerce groups because it’s something i’m working on in my business and people are seeing triple the income they normally would.   Clean the house, declutter and sell that stuff on ebay, shpock etc.   People are fearing selling. We need to keep money moving where we can.     People are going to have opinions and strong ones.  People are angry and are lashing out at people who have good intentions, or judging people negatively, fear breeds anger.     Please don’t pay attention to it OR fear it.  If you have a launch planned go over it and see if there’s anything you want to sense check but some of our offerings peope need now more than ever but we have to keep things moving and as normal as we can.     Catch up on all those courses you’ve not finished and feel guilty over spending on...you’ve got time to implement and you might even get some extra ideas.   We’re all in this together, it will be a time for huge innovation, adaptability, it’s historic, it IS uncertain but that’s what life is!   It’s not easy to avoid the hype and hysteria but do what you can and what you’re in control of and remember this too shall pass.   Fx   Fran Excell, Mindset and Productivity Coach & Mentor helping business owners overcome self sabotage and get more done, in less time at  www.franexcell.com Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here Apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind here
March 9, 2020
Are you stuck in a drama triangle?   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Recently there have been a lot of people asking me about difficult relationships and how to handle them and how to stop feeling drained by them.  With friends, family, significant otters, employees and clients.   I see it in groups i’m in, from clients, I see it everywhere.  I was emailed by a lovely listener who also prompted this episode about something similar.   Also according to good old google analytics, month after month, one of the key reasons people find me is they’re googling this problem and they find me through a blog about how to handle it when your friends and family don’t support your business. (You can read/listen HERE)    A lot of it is down to communication and an understanding of communication and HOW we communicate with each other.   It’s down to the information that we delete, distort, our own assumptions, the way we mind read each other and hear what we THINK we’re hearing, which is often not what is actually being said.   We make words and physiology MEAN something, that often they don’t. Essentially you cannot not communicate.  One of the presuppositions of NLP is ‘the meaning and outcome of communication is in the response you get’.   What this means is people respond to what they THINK you said, not necessarily what you ACTUALLY said.    It’s also everyone reacting in the only way they know how to their own unconscious programming and beliefs.   The thing is, we’re not taught a lot of the things i’m going to talk to you about.     We all just go around reacting to each other all the time, often not knowing where the hell it came from, or why people can’t just do/be X, Y, Z.   Another  of the key presuppositions of NLP is that ‘people are always just trying to do the best they can with the resources they have’. The way they behave is based on the best possible choice available for them at that moment and it always has a positive intent for them.   However, there are a few situations we can change for ourselves with a little bit of knowledge.   As I'm ALWAYS saying, awareness is the first key to change.     So when you can become aware in certain situations instead of in reaction mode, you can shift them around at that moment.      You can’t choose your first reaction to something but you can always choose your second.   There is a big piece around responsibility here too.  You can only be responsible for yourself, but be 100% responsible.  Own your responsibility in whatever is happening.   That doesn’t mean blame, or beat yourself up in any way, it’s just taking a step back and thinking, ok...what’s my part here, where can I change MY own behaviour to make a difference and have a better outcome.   We often don’t want to because it’s REALLY easy to think it’s (and want it to be!!) the other persons ‘fault’ so it requires a level of humility and honesty.    It’s important to understand a few fundamentals of how we take in the external event...or in this case the communication from someone else.   We filter the information that comes through in a number of ways. We do this because we simply can’t take on the sheer volume of information, it would be sensory overload so our minds have a way of filtering out the key information...and we have already set the parameters of those filters though our own experience and also things other people (primary care givers, the media etc) have taught us since we were tiny.   So much of this is going to tie back in nicely to the things I have taught in other episodes and hopefully you’ll start to see how it all links together.   So, firstly, we delete things.     We delete information based on our own maps of the world and what makes sense to us. Essentially it’s like selective hearing.   Next we distort what we’re hearing, and the experience itself.    This is where we THINK something is one way, but it could very well be another.    For example, you could think someone is rolling their eyes at you but in reality they just looked at something across the room.  You can swear blind it was an eye roll...but it wasn’t. Or you sense a tone that wasn’t there or think you heard them say something that actually they didn’t.   Next we generalise.    This is where we will use ‘always’ and ‘never’ in our language.     Something may have happened once or twice, but we generalise it out to everything.     For example, ‘you never take the bins out’.  It’s probably not true in reality but we really think it is until we challenge it.    We filter conversations through our own values and beliefs.     What’s important to us and what we believe to be true, what we believe is good, bad, right or wrong.   Then we use language to attach meaning and to make sense of what’s going on.   So you can see how a lot of assumptions are made.     We essentially ‘mind read’ other people based on all of these things.     Knowing this can allow us to take a step back and work out if what we’re thinking or believing is actually true or not.   I have a couple of helpful models that may help illustrate how we communicate and how we can actually make a change. I promise I won’t get too ‘technical’ so you can practically apply it.   I want to talk a little bit to you about the basics of Karpman’s Drama Triangle.  It’s essentially a model of human interaction, specifically applied to any sort of conflict.   In the drama triangle you have 3 roles.     The victim (this is someone who FEELS like a victim, not an actual victim), the rescuer and the persecutor.   The victim is coming at it from a ‘poor me’ mentality.    Powerless, oppressed and feeling stuck in a negative situation that they believe they have no responsibility in and have no power in.     The victim will seek out a rescuer so they can take the responsibility away from themselves but they will also seek out a persecutor as being persecuted reinforces their own negative unconscious beliefs about themselves.   Then you have the persecutor.  They think they have all the power in the situation.  They are controlling and blame, they take a position of authority.   Then you have the rescuer who comes from a place of very good intentions but also takes the power away from the victim.    Essentially they are an enabler, so it really doesn’t help the victim in the long run. They don’t empower the victim to get out of the situation.   You can switch between all 3 roles and each role is having their unconscious needs met.     That could be the need to be right, the need to be powerless or the need to ‘rescue’ which will all serve to reinforce their unconscious beliefs and identity.   All 3 roles need each other. Everyone involved gets a positive payback of some sort.   The rescuer and victim can end up creating codependency because they each need each other.    So often the rescuer unconsciously tries to keep the victim where they are because it validates their ‘need to be needed’ and the victim is happy to stay there because it validates their need to be rescued and not take responsibility and they get taken care of.   To keep the drama triangle going all 3 roles need to stay in it.   To stop the drama triangle, one person has to decide to leave...and then do it!     They have to become aware of what has been unconsciously going on and make a conscious choice to leave and stop giving the other roles their positive payback.   For the Persecutor to leave they need to be able to find empathy for the victim and be honest about the role they’ve been playing.   For the rescuer to leave they have to be honest about the part they’ve been playing and distance themselves from the situation (because let’s be honest it’s nothing to do with them anyway!)    For the victim to leave they need to empower themselves, take responsibility and most importantly, WANT to quit the triangle because if they don’t WANT to all that will happen if someone else leaves they will find another person to fulfill that role.   Transactional analysis, of which the drama triangle is a part of, talks of the three ego states, Parent, child and adult.   Again, an understanding of this really helps to create that awareness that allows you to take a step back and make a different conscious choice.   Each ego state has positive and negative traits.   For example, the positives of the parent state are nurturing, responsible, gentle, encouraging, loving, supportive, protective, kind, warm and empowering.   The negatives might be bossy, critical, domineering, condescending, controlling, nagging, suffocating, fault finding, smothering.   The positives to a child state might be curiosity, spontaneity, adventurous, joyful, creative, fearless, uninhibited, open minded, non judgemental and enthusiastic.   Whereas the negatives might be immature, needy, whining, sulky, selfish, stubborn, demanding, irresponsible, unreasonable, i, the odd tantrum here and there, annoying and manipulative.   Now the adult state draws on the positives of both.     It’s about responding and not reacting.     Usually in conflict you have one person in parent and one person in child state.   All of these things are noticeable in our body language, our gut response, our intonation and how we say things, and ultimately form our actions.   When you can meet each other both in an adult state you can create a far better outcome for both.    Adult state allows you to gain perspective and reframe.  You’re both conscious and aware and able to make better choices and take responsibility.    It’s really helpful to talk briefly about cause and effect when it comes to communication too.   When you’re at effect you have all the fun stuff that takes the power away from you.  Excuses, reasons, blame, playing the victim.     You can see how it takes away your power.  You’re essentially not seeing the correlation between yourself and the pattern or behaviour, it’s all about the external influences.   However, when you’re at cause you get all that power back!    This is how you change behaviour.     Focus on, own and take responsibility for YOUR part and YOUR behaviour….and then watch how your changes change the people around you.  It’s magic stuff!   So where are you right now?  At cause, or effect?   Where are you not taking responsibility?     Remember it’s NOT about blame, being WRONG or FAULT, it’s about seeing your part, no matter how small.     Understanding how you perhaps could have contributed to creating a situation or causing a reaction that may not have happened if you were consciously aware of your behaviour or language.   Understanding these really do allow you to take back power and approach difficult communications and relationships differently.  It can help you create empathy or understanding for the other people involved.   It can help you reframe or reassess what’s REALLY going on and take a lot of the raw emotion out of it.   So where are you in your own little drama triangle?     Where are you in parent or child state where you could shift into adult?   This has been just a brief introduction for you and if you want to delve deeper do any research into transactional analysis there are TONNES of books and studies on the subject.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
March 2, 2020
Are You In The Entrepreneurial Danger Zone?   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways! Are you in the danger zone right now in your business or personal life?   If I were to ask you, out of ten, how you would currently rate your life what score would you give yourself?   This may sound counter intuitive but if you’re a six and below then that’s a REALLY good thing!!   I know, I hear you...what the eff?!?!   Stick with me here.   If you’re only at a six or below then you have all the motivation you need to change things, you may just need to know or understand a little more of the ‘how’ to do it.    You see, change is HARD! So you have to be MOTIVATED to do it...and overcome some unconscious programming which doesn’t happen overnight!   So six and below gives you plenty of motivation.     It’s almost a case of the lower the better...when everything changed for me I was probably at a one out of ten!   How bad is the pain?   If you’ve been listening to me for a while then you’ll know one of my favourite quotes is ‘Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.’ From Tony Robbins.   It’s so true.  That’s why so many breakthroughs happen at rock bottom and why so many successful people have one of those rock bottom stories.  It's a serious motivation to get out of it.   So where is the danger zone?   When you’re in the danger zone you’re at about a seven out of ten.   The reason it’s the danger zone?   You’re comfortable.   You’d LOVE for things to change and you know you’d be happier and more fulfilled.  Or healthier, or making more money...whatever it is for you.   BUT you’re pretty comfortable if you’re honest with yourself.     Even if it’s comfort in mediocrity.   What comes from comfort?   Then comes the procrastination, the self sabotage, the intentional overwhelm so you end up doing nothing.   All the lovely ways we get in our own way are flaring up meaning you stay exactly where you are...BUT you have the added gloriousness of frustration, beating yourself up, blaming yourself, and any other ways you can generally be down on yourself for not doing the things you know will move you forwards.     Self compassion is just out the window!   The excuses are running your life and keeping you right where you SAY you don’t want to be anymore.   What it takes to make a change   The thing is, to make a change you need patience, resilience, some serious discipline and determination in droves...therefore you need some serious motivation to get out of that seven out of ten comfort zone you’re in.   Your brain is going to be working against you every step of the way until you TRAIN it into working FOR you.   It’s primary job is to keep you safe...ergo...INSIDE your comfort zone.     This is why the danger zone is so dangerous.     Everything is going to be magnified in order to keep you where you are.    Why nothing changes...   Nothing changes until something MOVES.     If you don’t move nothing will change...and yet we expect it to from just sitting on the sofa trying to think it into existence...go figure!   Knowing is very different to doing   Just because you KNOW it, doesn’t mean you’ll DO it!     You really are your own greatest asset and your own greatest liability in your life and in your business.    If you’re in the danger zone it explains why you’re not doing the things you KNOW make you feel good or push you closer to putting the effort in to break old or form new habits.   It’s why you aren’t in the gym, meditating, journaling, spending time outside, selling, eating good food, drinking lots of water, making sure you’re getting your vitamins, reading, completing the course you invested in...any of the things that genuinely get you what you want!   You’re actually not motivated enough to put in the effort!   So how do you get motivated when you’re in the danger zone?   Connect to what a ten out of ten would be like.     What would it look like, feel like?    To create ‘certainty’ around it visualise yourself once you’ve achieved it so your brain accepts it as truth, leave no room for doubt.     What would you be doing, wearing?     Try to add as much detail and colour to the vision as you can.   Really feel the emotions associated with that being your reality.   Connect to that big reason why you want it   Connect to that big reason that you want to get out of the danger zone.     Is it towards something or away from something?   It’s always far more motivating to move away from pain than towards pleasure.     Both sides of the coin are even better but if you can connect to where you’ll be and what will happen in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years or even a decade into the future if you DON’T take action.   What will it cost you in money, health, relationships if you DON’T take action?     You can see why I get so frustrated with what I call ‘fluffy whys’.     You are not going to get anywhere without being SUPER honest about your reasons for wanting to change something.     I’ll give you a hint...the REAL reason is usually something inherently selfish...that’s totally NORMAL and HONEST!    You are not a bad person for wanting something for yourself, so let go of all the childhood programming that tells you that it is.     It doesn’t make YOU selfish!   Fundamentally if YOU’RE able to show up as the best possible version of you then the ripple effect of that is profound on everyone else around you...so is it really selfish in the first place?!   Find your ‘why’ and then keep asking ‘and what does that get me?’ until you hit the real nail on the head.   What’s the positive payback?   Work out if there are any secondary gains to you staying where you are.   Secondary gains are those hidden positive gains of being in a negative situation.     For example, certain excuses we get to keep making which mean we don’t have to take action, or certain behaviours we get to keep doing...like eating the donut or not going live.  Or being able to moan about our situation and play the victim just a little bit for some validation.   Work out what the unconscious programs are that are stopping you.     If you get more visible you’re actually going to have to carry on putting yourself out there, you’ll have to sell, you’ll have to actually DO this thing and put yourself out there for potential rejection...whereas if you don’t go all in then you get to ‘pretend’ you’re doing the thing.    Whatever it is you’ve got to drop it.    You’ve got a decision to make as to which scenario you want more.   You need to get out of your ego mind and into one of awareness so you can get that choice back.     Get that power back.    What’s in your noggin?   You need awareness of what it is you’re thinking and therefore DOING, be able to observe it and observe yourself with curiosity, constantly asking yourself where thoughts, beliefs, stories and behaviour comes from.     Not from a place of blame or frustration but from a genuine place of curiosity.   These are simply things you’ve learned along the way.  They aren’t real. They’re assumptions that you’ve made.     When you can strip away the MEANING you’ve given something to the actual act then your whole perspective on it changes.   It’s not good or bad until you make it so   In reality life is full of completely neutral events.  It’s simply your interpretation of those events that makes them good or bad...and your interpretations vs someone else’s are often completely different...so what does that tell you!   Change is tough.     ESPECIALLY if you’re in the danger zone!     So you either have to ramp up the pain or make sure you’ve got some accountability so you don’t allow yourself to get in your way.   If you don’t have accountability to keep you going you’re relying on self motivation that is not likely to be strong enough.    So whatever you need to do to get REAL accountability, DO it!    Whether that’s starting your own mastermind or finding an accountability buddy (although when it’s free be aware that it’s harder when it’s free because you don’t have any ‘skin in the game’ so make sure you get a REALLY motivated buddy if you go down this route! It’s absolutely possible but you certainly can’t both be in the danger zone because the procrastination and excuses will come full force from both sides)   Or joining something like the Proactive Pants Mastermind where I kick your butt on a weekly basis personally...or any other sort of mastermind where you have deadlines and mandatory tasks over a prolonged period to make sure you take action.    Or work with someone one on one so you’re wholeheartedly invested in making it happen.   Think about it...most people get personal trainers or book a class to keep them accountable, they know they are unlikely to do it on their own when it’s so easy to sit on the sofa instead!   Have a ponder on these   What part of your identity do you need to let go of to make the change?   What stories do you need to change?   Do you feel worthy of what’s on the other side of the change? Do you actually feel it’s possible?    Are you in the danger zone and how committed are you to getting out of it?    You are worthy...and it is possible, all you’ve got to do is take the action!   The only difference between you and the people you admire is taking action.    They’re just as insecure as you...they just don’t let it hold them back!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
February 24, 2020
Why Managing Your Energy Is So Important!   Your energy levels literally affect everything you do.   We can very easily get caught up in feeling like if we’re in a bad mood or feeling negative that there’s something fundamentally ‘wrong’ with us at an identity level.   Which just escalates the negative feeling right?     Then you start to beat yourself up for not being positive or not showing up in the way that you want to.   But with a little self awareness we can overcome that pesky ego, realise it may not actually be about us and be able to handle it SOooooo much better.   The reason I want to talk about this today is because I have just got back from a super intense event in Amsterdam and it was SO interesting to observe my moods, my behaviour, where my thoughts wanted to go as the week progressed based completely around my energy levels.   What gives me energy and what takes it away and what the results are of me having a lack of energy.   This often happens to me at these kinds of events...new levels of self awareness aplenty! This is important!   It highlighted something for me that I want to share with you because it’s so fundamentally important to understand that you are not your thoughts, you are not your moods BUT your energy can really affect both. We make assumptions about what the problem is...and we usually decide it’s us!   I covered a lot of this in the episode ‘What’s the problem Really?’ about where we can very easily make assumptions about what’s ‘wrong’ with us and labelling it that it actually stops us identifying the very thing that could make you feel better much more quickly and easily because we stop looking for the root of the issue.   You can identify it and literally snap yourself out of the feeling because you have no emotional attachment to it anymore!  Where’s the non negotiables?   I normally have some pretty strict non negotiables with myself and my routine that are obviously very difficult...if not impossible, to follow while you’re away and technically on someone else’s schedule.   Things like sleep.  I’m an 8 hours per night kind of a gal. I’m really strict with it because I know how much it affects me.   A lack of sleep in general can cause you to lose concentration and productivity.    It decreases your social and emotional intelligence, so your ability to read situations, other people and your own emotions.    It can cause procrastination and a lack of motivation.    You lack focus.    Essentially your brain can’t function to the best of its ability.    You’re off your game!   I like to get up a couple of hours earlier than I ‘need’ to to go through my routine…cup of earl grey or hot water and lemon, read some of my book, journal etc.   One of my biggest peeves in life is feeling ‘rushed’ and I know that about myself so I put contingencies in place which means I very rarely do feel it...until it’s more out of my control.   So...when I'm at 5 day events that are 8am until 11pm with few breaks, and when you DO have a break you have to rush to the toilet or rush to find food nearby meaning it doesn’t feel like much of a ‘break’,  it becomes a choice between slightly more sleep or feeling rushed in the morning.     So I would always choose sleep because I know that will have a much bigger effect on me and my experience at the event.  Another is eating rubbish and not drinking enough water.   I ACTIVELY go against what I know to be true and not drink lots of water because there are limited breaks.     That’s bonkers but it happens because I don’t want to leave the room and miss something and I don’t want to sit there cross legged unable to concentrate and I make a choice for what’s going to be better for me in that moment, it may not be the choice you would make.   I also eat a LOT, I have loads of snacks because when I really feel my energy drop or start to feel sleepy the best thing for ME to do is snack.     BUT...then I feel bad about eating alllll the snacks...but at least i’m awake right?   And if i’m being honest all this stuff can affect me quite a lot and until I catch myself in it I can get a bit frustrated with myself because guess what...i’m a human too! Ha!     You don’t have to be perfect all the time and sometimes it’s actually really hard and often impractical to 100% practice what you preach. BUT it’s about doing what you CAN and being AWARE and practicing alittle compassion and forgiveness for yourself ha! So, how can this help you?   I’m going to tell you the behaviours and thoughts that I noticed in myself and you might be able to identify a couple of yours, meaning that next time you’re feeling not quite yourself you can use that self awareness to ‘troubleshoot’ if you will and get back on track.     It will help you identify what you need more or less of.   It will help you understand it’s not YOU, on an unconscious identity level, so to speak and therefore reducing the emotions surrounding it, meaning you can simply choose another thought and let it go. It wasn’t a surprise   So, with all this it’s no surprise to me that I started to feel frustrated with myself and like I wasn’t showing up as my best possible Frannie when I was tired, was eating rubbish, eating WAY more than I normally would and my brain was just utterly overloaded and I was 100% out of my routine. I couldn’t even get a cup of tea ha!   Why is tea with milk only a thing in England?!   This training was incredible, don’t get me wrong, I feel SO grateful and fortunate to be able to do these things and have access to literally the best of the best in terms of training and education and I don’t take that for granted.   BUT, I can find them tough.  Energising at the same time because the speakers are world class at managing the energy in the room, but tough.   The person teaching was literally my mentor's mentor when it comes to marketing.     He has trained some of the BEST in the industry.  Russell Brunson, Ryan Deiss, Brian Tracy, Vishen Lakhiani, Brendon Burchard, Jay Abraham and tonnes more so I was making sure I was taking copious amounts of notes and making sure I absorbed as much as I could. Then came the overload!   Psychologist George Miller’s research suggests the short term memory can only hold so much information at once.  7 chunks of information plus or minus 2 depending on the person. So that’s 5-9 pieces. Not a lot right?   Processing information takes up a HUGE amount of energy.  The brain uses up 20% (!) of the body’s total energy in a resting state...when you consider how small the brain is in comparison you can see just how high a percentage that really is.    The areas that use the MOST energy are responsible for auditory processing and memory….and what do you need most when you’re learning??! So you can see where this is going right?   Overloaded brain. Not enough sleep. Eating rubbish food and lots of it. Running off adrenaline and rushing everywhere. Out of my routine.   When all this is going on all the things you’ve worked hard to stop doing seem to bubble right up to the surface.   So there’s the REAL thing that was going on, the cause of my frustration if you will...now let’s have a talk about some of the ‘symptoms’ so you can see if any resonate for you and if they do, where in your life right now are you out of balance?     What else could be a good possible cause for negative feelings?   Can you see an easy course correct that would get you feeling better?   How are you taking care of yourself and protecting your energy? I found myself feeling/being:   More negativity. More skepticism.   Less patience with myself and other people. Less concentration.  More judgemental. People started to annoy mea bit, my fuse got shorter. I wanted to hermit a bit.  The introvert in me was having a field day! Lack of focus. Generally a little bit moany.   Now, for me, I find it very easy to catch myself in these moments and to know what’s REALLY going on and flip my thoughts and reframe in an instant, so it’s annoying that you feel it but much easier to get out of.   I’m already in the habit of being the ‘observer’ of my thoughts, being curious and asking myself the right questions.  You will get there too if you’re not just yet.   So the main thing is knowing how to get out of those thought processes as and when you want to but also thinking outside the box for ways to improve the situation.    What COULD you do that would potentially create some damage limitation for the lack of energy?   The more you can recognise your own patterns, habits and behaviours the easier and quicker it is for you to get out of.   So when you’re feeling a bit ‘meh’ or not feeling yourself have a look at a few of these things, where is your energy?     What normally goves you energy that you’re not doing? What tweak could you make that you know is going to make you feel better?   Exercise? Blasting out a power ballad?  Drinking more water? I’ve got a tonne of other ideas in the episode ‘How to change your state quickly’ so go check that out!   With the awful news last week of the beautiful Caroline Flack I also think it’s hugely important to mention if you are feeling low for a sustained period of time then please do seek the relevant help.    There is ALWAYS someone ready and waiting to talk to you whether it’s a friend or family member, a health professional or a company like the Samaritans there IS always someone there for you.  https://www.samaritans.org/ Call 116 123 24 hours a day in the UK whether you’re worried about yourself or a loved one.    And in a world where you can be anything, please, please #bekind, to yourself and others. Think before you speak, think before you judge and remember you never know what might be going on for someone else.   Lets all lead with a little more love.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx  
February 17, 2020
  Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   What’s The One Thing?   What’s the ONE thing that if you were to get it done, today, this week or this month, you’d be SO much closer to exactly where you want to be?   The premise of the book ‘The one thing’ by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan fits in perfectly with my year of simplifying things and I wanted to share why with you.   First, in the interest of context i’ll take you to what got me thinking about this in the first place.   You know when everyone at the beginning talks about what’s your ‘word’ for 2020?     I didn’t actually tell anyone mine because it was oh so noisy out there ha! I mean every other post if not more on all the socials was ‘what’s your word for 2020?’   And I get the sentiment and I think it’s important when used to the best of its ability but I also kind of feel like many people choose a word for the sake of it.     It’s one of those many actually very useful things that have been turned into something a little bit fluffy...which then stops a lot of people wanting to take part at all.   On the other side it makes people flippantly pick something based on what they outwardly think people want to see or hear and not based on what’s really going to drive them forward.  We want to be in a ‘club’ right, no FOMO allowed so we get involved and then forget about it pretty quickly afterwards.   Everyone ELSE seems to have a word so I must have a word!   So I ponder on it for January and work out how I want to make it stick and what I want to change to be able to live by it...because that’s the real point right?!   Working out how you want to live on an unconscious identity level, whatever that is for you.     How we want to show up, what our values are.     It’s all these lovely things rolled into one little word.   But the reason I like it?  It’s ONE word.   ONE point of focus to help you make decisions and changes and remind yourself of how you want to show up.   So mine is ‘simplify.’   Nothing big or grand or for anyone but me.     So that’s the theme for me in 2020.     Simplifying things and having one main BIG goal that any other goals all feed into.     Essentially it’s ONE thing.   Then comes the focus, the momentum, the easy decisions, the big changes.   It’s when you make that relentless point of focus you can still have just as much on your to do list BUT...you are ALWAYS making progress.   It feels counter intuitive to only have one thing to focus on.     It FEELS like you would be doing less...but you actually end up doing FAR more!    Simplifying and obeying the ‘one thing’ means you have more focus, more momentum, you prioritise with ease, there is less on your plate and you just get MORE done.   So the premise of the book is that by using this one question everything else becomes easier, so here she is;   “What’s the ONE thing I can do, such that by doing it everything else will become easier or unnecessary?”   So you can see how by using this question it’s all about focus, priority, simplification.     It makes everything else on your to do list obsolete until this one thing is done which also gets rid of that pesky overwhelm gremlin.   I also use it purely as my point of focus that helps with everything I do.     I have one BIG goal for this year which is to get my journal, The Positive Pant Planner, out into the world.     So I always ask what’s the one thing I can do today that’s going to get me closer to that goal.   Because it has already been YEARS in the making.     My episode ‘How to journal for the non dear-diary type’ is my 2nd most popular episode EVER and it was also my very first episode. I also get asked about it ALL the time, I have printables on my website but I haven’t turned them into a hard copy journal yet.    So this has been a long time in the making but i’ve allowed myself to get distracted, listen to too many opinions (don’t go low ticket etc) and generally got in my own way with it by consistently looking at it as more of a nice to have than an essential.   Oh I know...the irony is not lost on me here, I see my own self sabotage riiiiiight there.   The reality is I didn’t prioritise it because it’s easy to prioritise the higher ticket things.     BUT this is my passion, it’s what I believe can help everybody whatever stage they’re at and in all honesty it’s my dream.   I KNOW it will be the best too ;-)    It’s the exact system I used to turn my whole life around from Eeyore on a bad day to now...I still use pretty much exactly the same system...with a few tweaks and improvements.   It excites me, it fires me up, people are asking for it (if you want in on the waitlist DM me or drop me an email hello@franexcell.com with ‘waitlist’ as the subject and i’ll add you to the list!)    SO, why haven’t I done it yet?   Quite frankly there are SO many moving pieces, so many things to think about and work out and cost up and I want a long term relationship with any company I choose and that level of service is hard to find...i’ve got high standards ha!   And quite frankly I just didn’t quite see the bigger picture and how it links in with EVERYTHING I want, I do now.   How did I work that out?   When I start the year I ask myself certain questions in my journal to work out what I REALLY want for the year.     I’ve talked about this a lot, about making sure you’re really doing the things that you LOVE and not compromise for what you think you SHOULD do and The Positive Planner has been on that list for about 6 years…I’ve had the trademark for about 2 years too ha!   Whoops!   BUT by simplifying and adopting the ONE thing rule i’ve made more progress in a month than I have in years.     It IS my priority now, it WILL happen.   I always use this tool with clients too.     It’s super simple and can instantly change the way you’re thinking and looking at things.   What’s the one thing YOU want to achieve this year?     Then every day, what’s one thing you could do today to take you a step closer?  It allows you to make big jumps in less time.    So for me the one thing I want is to get my journal into the world so one thing I could do right now to get me closer would be to email people who may be able to help me achieve that.     When you’re in a place when you’re unsure if the chicken or the egg came first leaving you overwhelmed and not knowing your next step, what’s one thing you could do to improve that right now.   Obviously ask people who may already have the answer right?   When you are relentlessly pursuing a focused goal everything starts to become easier.     The things to say no to become obvious, the things to say yes to become obvious.     ‘Will this help me achieve my one thing’ if the answer is yes, it doesn’t matter how scary it is that answer us yes.    Even if you struggle saying no to people, when you ask this question it becomes magically easier to say it.   You really can use this in all areas of your life too.  If you have a goal in each key area, health, finances, business/career, friends/family, love life, environment, personal development and fun you can have ONE thing in each area.    I have many other ‘things’ involved in my ONE thing.  But it’s the umbrella to everything.     I will still have multiple revenue streams.     I will still do all the things I enjoy like the podcast, I will still do the speaking gigs and the consulting and the Proactive Pants Mastermind, and the 1:1 clients but they ALL link back into that ONE thing that creates structure and cohesion across everything...and even though there’s still a lot on my plate it doesn’t FEEL like it because I see how it all clicks together.   Exciting right?    It feels more fun!    It feels lighter.   It feels focussed.   I don’t have to do it all in one go but as long as I keep that focus on my ONE thing it’s all going to happen and I FEEL it.   So what’s the ONE thing for you?   What’s your BIG one thing and what’s one thing you could do today that could make all the difference?   Remember to ask yourself “What’s the ONE thing I can do, such that by doing it everything else will become easier or unnecessary?”   And go check out the book in all its glory.  The One thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan.     If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
February 10, 2020
  Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   It’s not a gap in knowledge, it’s a gap in execution!   It’s not a gap in your knowledge, it’s a gap in your execution.   This is something that has been coming up a lot recently, people jumping from course to course, challenge to challenge, book to book  collecting information upon information.   Doesn’t sound SO bad right??    No, and if it really IS a gap in your knowledge then totally cool...but IS it really?   The trouble comes when you think you have to know ALL the things before you take ANY action...when you’re not implementing the things you learn!   You information gather, continuously…   Without actually taking the next steps.   Which means you don’t move forwards as quickly as you like.     Always chasing that one missing piece without acknowledging that the missing piece and reason for you watching people overtake you and then thinking you’re ‘less than’ is actually purely because you aren’t taking the action.     You aren’t executing on the things you DO know.  So you aren’t moving!   But the reality is usually you just need to identify the main missing piece right now, that thing that if you did it it would be a big step forward...learn and take action and implement on THAT!   I got caught in this trap too, it’s very easily done, especially in the beginning of trying to achieve all these big things.     In all honesty, right at the start of your journey you probably don’t need the speaker training over the course that helps you lay out all your foundations and understand where speaking actually fits into that and your business model.   You probably need to work on your mindset gremlins and confidence so you can actually take the action before you learn the ins and outs of facebook ads and complicated funnels.   It’s all part of my grand master simplification plan ha!  We over complicate EVERYTHING and it just doesn’t need to be that way.     It’s ALL useful information of course, but perhaps invest time and money into the things that can help you move forward NOW so you don’t then start getting into the traps of mindset gremlins telling you you aren’t good enough because you’re NOT moving.   You can see how counterintuitive it all is and yet consciously seems totally reasonable at the time.   It’s the biggest contributor to good old shiny object syndrome.    But the thing is, this can be a BIG unconscious self sabotage trap.     It’s super pesky because outwardly it really looks like you’re taking action to learn all these new things, you’re ‘starting before you’re ready’, you’re seizing opportunities like courses, programmes and events and you convince yourself that you NEED them.   But you learn, you feel good about learning, then you don’t take any action and by the time you might USE that knowledge it’s totally out of date or you forget you even learned it in the first place.   Whether it’s business courses, personal development or whatever it is for you you’re constantly seeking that missing piece and that’s the trap.   I’ll launch my dream when I've got or done X, Y, Z.     Constantly feeling like just ‘one more’ event, book or course will give you that one piece of information that you just don’t have yet.   You sit there nodding in the audience at the events saying ‘yep, yep, uh huh’ you know you know it.     It FEELS good because you’re validating your knowledge BUT you still feel like you don’t have enough to take the action.   You can see how easy it is to get addicted to this stuff.     That’s why I've heard it termed ‘shelf-development’ ha!    You buy the book, read it, think ‘that was great’ but then you DON’T IMPLEMENT and carry on looking for other, quicker, easier answers with the book with all the answers sitting there on the shelf.   The answers are in the implementation!   Self awareness is SO important, i’d say it’s the number one tool that you need in your business.    It’s ABSOLUTELY one of the things to work on constantly and hone.  There’s always more answers to be found. Patterns to be uncovered.    If you’re not self aware you can get caught in ALL sorts of traps by your own gremlins.   If you ARE you can overcome your ego, you can catch yourself in self sabotage, you can catch yourself in habitual behaviours you want to change.     You give yourself power and choice back over your own outcomes.   I’m ALWAYS checking in with myself.     Always checking ‘do I actually need this right now?’  If the answer is no I switch off the emails or notifications for that thing.   ‘Is this in line with that ONE goal that I know is the difference?’    ‘Is this me self sabotaging or working from an unconscious pattern or something that really would be useful right now?’   I’m ALWAYS asking myself questions, checking in with my gut, checking in with my first reactions and approaching it all with curiosity.   It’s all there to tell me what I need to know BUT it’s so important to be able to distinguish because it helps you prioritise, helps you make decisions from an informed place rather than one of emotion.    In the long run it’s highly likely to save you a lot of time and money, and get you where you want to be more quickly.   I know how easy it is with sales tactics today and scarcity that even if you DON’T need it and you KNOW you don’t need it it’s really easy to cave to temptation for all the rational ‘well I won’t go through it live but it’s there when I need it in the future.’   At the end of the day, that course MIGHT be for you, but maybe just not right now.   When you ARE ready to implement what it teaches you might have found a better option, the stratgey may have changed, you may have changed your mind about the direction you want to go.  So many variables!   This has happened to me SO many times so I am talking from experience here and I DO feel your pain, ha!    Like I say, I really got caught in this trap before I realised and became aware of what I was doing.  It cost me a LOT of money ha!   The main reason you might not be doing something is you need to know the next step but you want to know ALL the steps.    Things don’t just happen to you because you’ve learned something, YOU make them happen.     It’s all in the execution.     The trial and error.     The willingness to take the action and see what happens and know you’re either going to get everything you were hoping for or some valuable lessons...it actually doesn’t matter because it’s all one step closer.   I’m MUCH better at what I do BECAUSE i’ve allowed myself to make mistakes, to fail, to try things out and let go of an attachment to the outcome.     It’s like I keep saying, approach things with curiosity over expectation.     All those hugely successful people you see, their overnight success is years of trial and error and mistakes.     You just get the highlight reel so don’t be afraid to take the action, there really is no such thing as failure.   So catch yourself in those moments where you’re telling yourself you ‘need’ another event or course to be able to do what you want to do.    What’s the point in paying to learn something you’re then not going to use?    What could happen for you if you DO execute and implement?    This question can be used twofold.  One if it’s all positive and glorious then THAT is your motivation to take action.  If what you see is scary then use the answer to unearth some unconscious beliefs and fears and CHALLENGE them.  Either way it’s SO helpful.   What gloriousness is on the other side of fear and self sabotage?   What are the beliefs that are really holding you back from implementing?   It’s not a gap in your knowledge...i’m pretty confident if this has resonated with you in any way you already know your stuff, you just need to back yourself to take action, to make mistakes and see what happens.     Sure there’s strategy behind those mistakes but people only learn the strategies in the first place from executing and analysing what worked and what didn’t.     Fail first, fail fast, fail forward ;-)
February 3, 2020
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Let Go Of The ‘Shoulds’?   Time to let go of the ‘shoulds’.     ‘Should’ is hands down one of the words I hear the most from clients, from other people’s content, friends, colleagues, everyone.   I always question it and call it out nowadays.   It’s totally natural to use it.     We’ve been conditioned since we were tiny by parents, care givers, teachers etc, to use it and respond to it, so I have to check myself when I use it too.   But it’s dangerous.    When we heard it when we were young how did we feel?  Wrong? Shame? Bad? Guilty? Not good enough? Obliged? Forced to do things we don’t want to?   So many negative connotations to one little word and yet we haven’t quite twigged to its power in the way we use it.   You’re essentially ‘should-ing’ all over yourself from a great height! (I wish I could claim that one as mine...I have no idea where I heard it first!)   You’re essentially wishing for…and highlighting what you don’t have, where you think you’re ‘failing,’ who you wish you were.    It has guilt and frustration written all over it.   How many times per day do you think you say it, or think it?   ‘I should have more clients’ ‘I should eat better’ ‘I should do more’ ‘I should go to the gym’ ‘I should work harder’ ‘I should be positive’ ‘I should be further along’   Should, should, should, should, should, should, should!     Does it help?    Does saying you ‘should’ ever actually help the situation and spur you into action….orrrr does it just make you beat yourself up and feel not good enough?   Let’s be honest, it’s inherently a little bit negative, critical and down on yourself or other people.   We say it to ourselves over and over...but we also say it to other people.     Which, let's be honest….is more than just a little bit judgey!   Essentially, you’re saying if they, or you, don’t do what you’re saying they, or you, ‘should’ then they are in some way ‘less than’ or ‘not good enough’ or ‘wrong’...not nice right?! How does it affect relationships?   How does telling people they ‘should’ do, say or be certain things affect your friendships, and any relationship for that matter when you use it?   How does it FEEL when you say it to yourself!?   Stressful right?     Full of shame, embarrassment, anxiety...why do it to yourself?...and why on earth would you do it to someone else knowing how it feels? Where does it tend to show up?   Work out when and where it turns up for you so you can create some awareness.  It tends to show up around feelings and emotions we think we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ feel.   For example, ‘I shouldn't be negative.’     As I’ve said before, emotions can be our biggest steer towards what we want and away from what we don’t.     It’s the law of polarity.  You need the light AND the dark, the good and the bad so you can experience both and understand what you’re being told by each.   Or it will show up in behaviours and actions we (or people in our lives) think we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ do.    For example, ‘I should stop procrastinating’ or ‘I should be further along in my business.’   It’s creating good old cognitive dissonance, usually when you consciously want something that your unconscious habits and beliefs are battling against.    Our ‘shoulds’ usually refer to something we wish came naturally to us but doesn’t or something we want but don’t have.  So it feels super uncomfortable. What are you telling your subconscious mind?   When you also think about what you’re affirming about your identity to your subconscious mind you can see why it would be helpful to eliminate it from our vocabulary.    You’re consistently affirming the fact you are not where you want to be, who you want to be or have what you want to have.     You’re always in a state of feeling not good enough but then you affirm that as the TRUTH, so it makes sense why it then feels so hard to work towards it.     The focus is all on what you don’t have yet….you’re making THAT your truth. So how can you nip it in the bud or at least reduce it!   Questions, always asking yourself powerful questions.   So….why ‘should’ you?  Who said so? Where did that belief that you ‘should’ come from?   Was it from you?  Society? Your parents?  Your social circle? What do YOU believe?   Are your ‘shoulds’ actually based on truth and a realistic expectation? Usually the answer to that is a bit fat NOPE!   Do you actually even WANT what your ‘shoulds’ are telling you you should want??    Is it actually true?   For example, if you’re telling yourself you ‘should’ have more clients by now in your business and you’re only 1 month in...is it true??    Don’t beat yourself up when you do say ‘should’, to yourself OR someone else...just notice it and start to create the awareness so you can make a different choice next time...rewind and flip it!   I do it all the time.  Like I said, it’s natural for it to slip out, it’s a lifetime worth of conditioning.  But when I catch it, I rewind and flip it!   My easiest flip is usually to ‘could’ instead of should.    To be fair this is usually towards my poor hubster…’Ooooh you know what you SHOULD do...hang on...do you know what you COULD do’?    It opens up a different layer of thinking, whether it’s for myself or someone else.   It’s also not TELLING them something, it becomes about sharing ideas and then they have the choice to take it or leave it without you being annoyed or offended or them feeling bad.   It’s opening up potential, choice, ideas, it feels so much lighter for everyone involved.    You can see how so many arguments happen right?!  Think of the energy of the first type of conversation vs the second.   Or even just flip ‘I should’ to ‘I want to.’ What about when you really SHOULD?   Now it ‘should’ be said that there are of course tonnes of instances where we really ‘should’ do certain things in order to avoid negative consequences.     For example, feeding our kids. paying our bills and taxes, putting petrol in the car...so in these instances what I would LOVE for you to do is reframe that ‘should’ into a‘get to’.    I mean how much more empowering is that?!   It turns from a pain in the butt on your to do list and something negative into something that’s actually positive and full of gratitude.   I mean, how grateful are you to have your kids to feed?    And that you earn enough money to have to pay taxes?    And that those bills are a thank you payment for a service you’ve enjoyed like being able to whatsapp all your friends and speak to your parents or that you’ve enjoyed the internet and been connected to people all over the world in different timezones.   And that you have a car to take you wherever you want to go and you’ve been places and had independence so you’ve got to fill her up!   Right??  Different feels occurring right there! What does it MEAN?   Next thing to think about is what are you currently making it MEAN about yourself that you don’t do/have it currently??    What are you making it mean about who you are or where you are right now? Why do you want or need to do it anyway?   What’s the good stuff on the other side of that ‘should’?    That’s where you can find the motivation to do all these things you’re telling yourself you ‘should’!   What would happen if you put your focus on WHY you want to do it rather than the fact you’re not...slightly more motivating dontcha think?   The main thing is to understand how should disempowers you and anyone on the other side of it and having that awareness means you can catch yourself and flip it around.   I mean, at the end of the day it all boils down to this...‘should’ you really do the thing, be the thing, have the thing you think you should?!     Ask yourself better questions and get yourself better results and get back to living a life you really love because you’re the one in control!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
January 27, 2020
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Why do I feel anxiety before seeing clients?   I had an awesome question from the gorgeous Lorna who runs Norla Permanent Makeup And Beauty, this week and her question is a very common problem I see in many areas of business...and life (as always!)    So I wanted to break it down for you here so it can help you too.   So here’s the question:   “I'd be interested to know what's going on in my head! Ok that's a tad broad let me explain....   I am totally fine on the run up to client appointments, I look forward to my clients coming and doing their permanent makeup treatment.   BUT as the appointment time draws closer (like a couple of hours before) I start to hear "I don't want to do this" in my head and I feel like anything would be better than having to go through with the appointment.   Bizarrely as soon as they arrive it all instantly disappears and I'm comfortable. I love doing the treatments, I find myself grinning behind my mask as I work.   And when they leave, happy bunnies. I feel such a sense of achievement.   Why the negative thoughts and feelings I wonder?    Any tips for me to help get over this would be brill!”   Now, it’s ALWAYS worth saying I’m NOT actually in your head so without asking you lots of lovely questions it’s difficult to know EXACTLY what’s going on for you so I’ll give you some questions to ask yourself, potential influences on those thoughts and feelings, along with some tips to get through them in the moment.   HOWEVER, this sort of thing is a common problem that I see and there are a few SUPER useful things to know about our pesky gremlins and how they work so you can identify it and overcome it in the moment.   So, firstly, the good news is you’re not bonkers!   I see this problem all the time when it comes to posting content on social media, doing live video, speaking gigs, taking on new clients, all sorts of ‘new’ things when we feel like we’re still learning as we go.   Here it’s really helpful to understand the 4 stages of learning that we will always go through when learning or doing something new.     Some people may advance through certain stages more quickly than others but they will always still happen.   I’ve talked about this in an episode before so it’ll be helpful to go through it again as a reminder and to embed the learning.   So, stage 1 is ‘unconscious incompetence’   ...blissful ignorance if you will.     Here, you don’t know what you don’t know.  So it feels totally fine. You might even be EXCITED to start the new thing.  Full of wide eyed optimism.   Then you very quickly move into stage two, the most difficult of all the stages and the one where most people quit.     Good old ‘Conscious incompetence’.     Here you are VERY painfully aware of what you don’t know, feeling overwhelmed, fearful, nervous, anxious, procrastinating, all the fun stuff that feels super uncomfortable and makes you frustrated with yourself.     Here you’ll feel ALL the lovely resistance bubbling up and all the thoughts and feelings telling you you’re an impostor, who are you to be doing this, you’re rubbish anyway so why bother.     Also going on in this stage is your lovely brain simply trying to keep you safe by not making it easy for you to be going outside your comfort zone.    It will very likely drive you to do things you KNOW aren’t good for you like comparing yourself to other people, overwhelm yourself with ‘busy’ tasks and generally self sabotage to an epic degree.     It’s fun here ha!    BUT when you know that just on the other side everything gets easier it can give you that motivation to keep pushing through, which is why it’s so important to understand these thoughts and feelings aren’t US, on an identity level, they’re part of the process.   Which moves us nicely onto stage 3, ‘conscious competence.’    Here, you know what you’re doing but it’s not second nature yet, you still need to think about the steps you need to take and you can still feel a little nervous at times.  This is where I think the lovely Lorna could be at the moment.   That stage where you have to remind yourself that you know your stuff, that you ARE good enough and you are definitely not an impostor.   It’s acknowledging you’re still fairly new, but you DO know what you’re doing and reminding yourself it’s only upwards from here.     You can only get better and better.     It’s a GOOD place to be but could explain all the ‘feels’ before the client arrives, before you get back into your zone and remember you’re great at what you do and you love it.  Bear in mind Lorna has INCREDIBLE testimonials from her clients!   The best part is that eventually this leads onto stage 4, ‘unconscious competence.’    You don’t even need to think about it now in this stage, it’s second nature and habitual.     It’s a breeze.     This is of course a fun place to be!     AND when you stick with it, where we all eventually end up.   So those are the 4 stages that we all go through with anything new so hopefully it’s helpful to understand and can identify where you might be.   Same, same but different   Another tip is it’s worth noting that physiologically speaking feelings of anxiety are the same as excitement so take note of what you’re saying to yourself before the client arrives and flip it around to all the positives.   So instead of "I don't want to do this" it becomes “I’m excited to do this”.  All the things you’re looking forward to.     Remind yourself of the awesome testimonials from other clients.   I often talk about my ‘proof of love’ folder that I keep on my phone. I encourage everyone to do this.     I screenshot lovely things that people say about how i’ve helped them, what value they get from the podcast, when i’ve fundamentally helped change someone's life through them working with me and they give me a testimonial, all those sorts of things.    Then when the gremlins show up telling you you’re not good enough or you don’t want to do things, it’s an awesome reminder that you are and you do!  And a great reminder of why you do it.   Create a new ‘ritual’    A ritual that you do to counteract the ‘I don’t want to do this’.  It could include breathing techniques, reading awesome reviews, connecting to the good ‘feels’ that come during and after working with the client.  Whatever you think would be fun, could be as simple as making a cuppa, just have a think about what would distract you from and shift those thoughts.    Some more tips and tools for you to use in the moment of ‘I don’t want to do this’:   My favourite breathing technique, the 4-7-8-3.     I use this for a TONNE of different scenarios, getting to sleep, pain, if i’m feeling anxious, before speaking events.     It works on so many levels.  It activates your parasympathetic nervous system to calm down that ‘fight or flight response.     The mindful counting distracts you from your thoughts.     You can then choose a different thought and use some of the things i’ve already mentioned.  So easy!     You simply breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, breathe out for a count of 8 and repeat 3 times.   Visualise the end goal.     Like I mentioned before, if you shift your focus to your BEST ever client session.     Really visualise it and feel those feelings. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined.     So it doesn’t know what’s happening right now vs a memory (both in the past OR the future oooooh!)    You can use this knowledge to your advantage.     When you visualise it, all those emotions will come back, the reward centre of your brain will give you some of those lovely feel good hormones and it’s as if you’re right there again.   Remind your brain that you’re fine thank you very much and you LOVE doing your clients treatments.     What specifically do you love about it?   What’s your favourite part?   Look forward to it!   When you feel the ‘I don’t want to do this’ question yourself around what’s behind that.     Why do YOU think it is?     Is there a fear?     Work out what specific thoughts are coming up for you, and then challenge them.   Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)    Otherwise known as ‘tapping,’ it’s a GREAT way to decrease the emotional intensity around anything.     It works by tapping on certain meridian points to move energy so it works by using acupressure.     It’s a big topic in itself that I encourage you to look into for yourselves (I use it myself but i’m not an expert) but essentially it’s reciting a phrase,  usually ‘Even though I feel X I deeply and completely love and accept myself’ while tapping on each meridian point.   First, assess the emotional intensity out of 10, then recite this while tapping on each point.  (there are TONNES of videos on Youtube that you can follow along with so this is nice and easy)    Start with the karate chop point on the side of your hand, then above your eyebrows, then the side of your eyes, then under your eyes, under your nose, on your chin, your collar bones, under your arms and the top of your head.   Repeat the process a couple of times and reassess the emotional intensity.   NLP tools   NLP has a tonne of tools that can help break the emotional intensity too.   You can create whats known as an ‘anchor’ to anchor in the way you WANT to feel instead that you’re then able to access whenever you need it.   For example, calm or confidence.  It’s usually something you can create with an NLP practitioner, like moi.  Examples can also be things like smells or songs that remind you of a time you felt something in particular so you can even listen to a song that you know makes you feel good beforehand.   With NLP you can also change something, as in the way you FEEL about it, or the meaning you give it by working with submodalities.    Submodalities are basically the building blocks to our experiences.  What we see, hear, smell, taste among other finer distinctions that we don’t even know are there.     You can work with these to completely change the way you look at or feel about an experience.  It can change our state in an instant.   For example, you will have visual submodalities linked to the way you feel, you’ll get an image, it’ll be near or far, you’ll be associated or disassociated (through your eyes, or watching yourself)bright or dim.     You’ll have auditory submodalities linked to it, so what you hear or don’t hear, pitch, tempo.   You’ll get a feeling, Is there pressure? Heat? Vibration?   When you can elicit all of these you can change them by mapping them across onto a more preferable feeling and take away that emotional hold!   It’s like magic! This is actually one of my favourite NLP techniques.  The first time you try it it feels really strange because all of a sudden you realise this feeling that has such a hold over you can be a big red blob that you hold in your belly that swirls around and all sorts of weird and wonderful things come up.     So, hopefully you can see there are a few potentially simple explanations for the thoughts and feelings you get, evidence that they will change over time and a tonne of things to think about or tools to use so you can start to shift all of it around.   Thank you for reaching out and huge well done for deciding to do something about it.    You’re amazeballs.   And if anyone is listening/reading and you’re in the West Yorkshire area and looking for some new brows then make sure you check out the lovely Lorna!    If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
January 20, 2020
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   You are not here to be average   You are NOT here to be average.  To fit in. You’re just not.   The very fact your listening to/reading this shows that!   SCREW average!   We spend so much of our lives trying to ‘fit in’ but fitting in is exactly that.  Average.   You were meant to STAND OUT!   In the best way possible, for no other reason than you’re being yourself.  Completely.   Sound scary?   Got a personal one coming your way today that I hope will make you have a good long think about where things like this might be showing up for you.   I was on a call with my meditation mentor yesterday and we got talking about the mind body connection (one of the presuppositions of NLP is that the mind and the body are a linked system) and how often the cause of illness or certain ailments is actually linked to something emotional, often stress, but ALSO often linked to some sort of incident in your past (that’s information for another day as it’s a HUGE subject in itself ha, but have a google, it’s fascinating! Sandy Newbigging the author of Mind Calm and Body Calm has a wealth of information around this and is also my mentor).     I’ve had a few health issues over the last few months and i’ve got an operation coming up in March so it makes sense that this would come up in our session so we started working on what potential incident in my past could have linked to this.    I know if you’ve not read anything into this before that can sound a bit far fetched but stick with it, when you study the unconscious mind, NLP, hypnosis and all the other juicy stuff I study then it’s actually a very obvious place to go...so stick with me!   Now, your subconscious mind can be SO helpful and will always give you what you need.     It’s basically stored everything from your life in there for you to access when you need it and all your ‘recorded’ experiences have formed your habits, beliefs, thought processes...basically rules your life so when you can learn to work with it and be curious about what comes up you can make significant changes and moves towards everything you want.   You can also get rid of so many beliefs, emotions and ties to things that you know hold you back.     Here comes my favourite quote again from Carl Jung, ‘until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’   It’s just a case of asking yourself powerful questions and noticing what comes up.     You’ll always get an image, or a particular random memory will seemingly come from nowhere.  Notice when that happens because there is pretty much always a reason.   So, an incident came up for me in this session from when I was 11 and when we delved into how it made me feel and what it caused me to make it MEAN at the time.     What belief it created that I then used to run my entire life from that moment.    Now, it’s a common experience that MANY people had around that age of being bullied and being judged.     For me it was specifically around food and the way I looked.  (If you’ve been listening to me for a while you’ll know that’s been one of my toughest nuts to crack and I always love a weight loss analogy to demonstrate a point ha!)   For me it started as the emotions of hurt, sadness, shame and guilt that made me feel there was something fundamentally wrong with me and THEREFORE i’m unlikeable and unlovable.   I mean.   A biggie right.     From two mean girls who were just acting from THEIR own unconscious programming throwing me ‘shade’ I got ALL that.   In that instant, when I first looked back to that memory it was as if it instantly changed any previous beliefs around myself to what THEY thought of me...because it MUST be true right?!   You can see how critical it is to find out what these beliefs are and blast them out the water as soon as you can.     If you felt like that about yourself (hurt, sadness, shame and guilt that made me feel there was something fundamentally wrong with me and THEREFORE i’m unlikeable and unlovable) what actions would it lead you take and not take, how would it make you show up to other people?   How would it make you show up in relationships?     How would it make you show up in friendships with people who DID like and love you that you shunned because they weren’t the ‘cool kids’, it wasn’t THEIR approval you needed.   What behaviour would it make you take that didn’t feel right just so you could be accepted by those cool kids’ (who all peak in school by the way!)   How would it make you show up in your business when a prerequisite it to put yourself out there to be judged and KNOW not everyone is going to like you?   Now, this is a belief I’ve done tonnes of work around thankfully so it hasn’t affected how I show up for years...and I really thought I had blasted most of it out the water.    HOWEVER, I hadn’t ever done anything related to this specific incident (the belief is one thing to work on, the incident itself is another and where NLP can be an AMAZING tool!)   So we distilled my big long belief into the real crux of it, ‘I feel hurt and rejected and nobody wants to be my friend’.  (Please remember I was only 11 when I formed this one ha, bless me, it sounds so sad!)   So, what this caused me to do throughout my childhood, through school, university, my first job, my career, my relationships, probably until I was about 30 ha, was try and fit in.   Whatever that meant in each situation it was HUGELY important to me to do what was necessary to feel accepted and fit in with people.   It meant I didn’t share my opinions, was pretty quiet, submissive, did things that were against my values and what I believed but I made myself ‘wrong’.    I attracted friends who treated me badly, horrendous relationships including an emotionally abusive one in my late teens, early twenties.     I attracted bullies.     I attracted horrible bosses.     I got myself into scrapes i’m not proud of (booze and boys were definitely my vices!) but it was a belief that I had to be and act a certain way to be liked and loved, or even accepted.     Because there was something fundamentally wrong with me right?  So I couldn’t be myself!     I attracted all the things that confirmed my belief that ‘I’m hurt, rejected and people don’t want to be my friend’.   Funny how that works, right?   Remember, your subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between good, bad, right or wrong, it just does everything it can to affirm your beliefs and send you evidence that you’re right and keep you safe.     So it made being myself ‘dangerous’.  Don’t let anyone see who you really are or what you really think or they’ll reject you because there’s something fundamentally wrong with you and you are unlikeable and unlovable!   I should be grateful for the people who were happy to hang out with me, or be in a relationship with me and should accept any way they treated me, it was what I deserved.    Can you see how important this is?     Can you see how it affects EVERYTHING you do?   So when we ‘tackled’ this incident and proved it wrong on so many levels and did the necessary unconscious mind jiggery pokery I had quite the realisation that has kind of changed everything.   SCREW fitting in!    When fitting in means going against your values, who you are and what you believe (which it usually does!) WHAT IS THE FLIPPING POINT?!     The odds of you being here on this earth were 400 TRILLION to 1...It’s a freaking miracle and so many of us waste it on things we just don’t need to...this is YOUR life, LIVE it!   I’ve wondered why I've felt so heavy for a while in some areas of my business and I've realised it’s because I'm trying to fit in in some way.     Which means i’m being average.   It means i’m also allowing myself to be treated in some areas in ways i’m NOT ok with.   I realised the mirror between the ‘cool kids’ at school and the ‘cool kids’ in this industry and I realised I absolutely don’t want to be one of them.  No judgement, it’s just not for me.   If anyone makes me feel like I should be anything less than who I am then they are not my people.     The people who ‘pretend’ to be friends so they can get something from you.   That’s not for me.   I talk about how I like to do things my way and not follow ‘gurus’ and only learn from people with integrity and put my own spin on things but I hadn’t realised I was holding myself back there too.     So expect some changes to be comin!!     It’s time to let some things go.     The first will be closing my Facebook group.  I actually don’t love hanging out on Facebook, it’s not my natural ‘habitat’ I don’t hang out in other people’s groups or anything like that...it’s just never really been my happy place.  I’ll still be posting on my page and my personal profile and it’s not to say I won’t open another group in the future...it’s just not for me right now, it feels heavy.   But,  I LOVE Instagram...so make sure you’re following me over there @imfranexcell because i’m going to up my game there, because it FEELS good, for ME.   I love my mastermind group so I will be doing the early podcast recordings for them instead and taking questions and creating episodes based on what they want or need.  Because it feels good!    I will be doing more in person, events and actually inviting people who book in one of my VIP intensives to come to my home in Kent 1 hour out of London because it’s REAL and it feels good!   I’m finally going to be getting my journal out into the world, even though people say ‘don’t go low ticket it’s hard’!    SCREW THAT!    It feels GOOD, it’s been ‘calling’ me for YEARS and I know on my mission to help 1 million women love their lives and get everything they want it’s going to be a big player AND IT FREAKING FEELS GOOD!   I know people can listen to the podcast for free but I want to give them a REAL, tangible tool they can hold in their hands so I can help make it as easy as possible for them to actually take action and change their neural networks and unconscious programming...whether they can afford my mastermind or 1:1 help or not!     IT FREAKING FEELS GOOD!   So what are all the things you do...or don’t do...currently that don’t feel good and keep you average?     That keeps you small and in the ‘fitting in’ bucket?   What are you doing that just feels out of alignment for you, feels heavy and negative, that really if you’re being honest with yourself you’re only doing because other people do or because you’ll fit in when you do it?   Really ask yourself these and see what comes up.  Don’t question it, write it down and get curious.   WHO makes you feel ‘heavy’ or less than?  Stop following them, you can still be friends if you want to without having to read their content if you don’t agree or it makes you feel bad, be curious about why that is sure...but just unfollow.   That’s the magic, when you’re completely and utterly standing in your own worth/truth/values whatever you want to call it...you don’t even have to ‘let people go’ if you don’t want to, you can love them despite your differences with your own set of values in place.   I have friends in this industry that I fundamentally don’t agree with how they do things, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.       It’s about becoming the observer of your own thoughts and judgements and being ok if other people don’t agree because you’re completely comfortable with who you are.   From now on it’s all about REAL.   REAL connection.   Screw 6 figures in 6 months, screw 7 figures, screw all the badges and labels that have been created to ‘validate’ who you are in some way.     Screw perfection.   Screw comparison.   Screw the need to be a ‘cool kid’ (they all peaked in school anyway remember...ha!)   Screw the puppets still stuck on the strings of their mind being run by their unconscious programming and insecurities, what they say means nothing about you.   Success without fakeness or being run by any kind of insecurity for me please!   It’s not positive feedback to ‘fit in’ in the first place because it means you’re being average.   And you’re not average my friend!   You want big things and big things don’t come from average.   SCREW AVERAGE!   Who are you without those bonkers beliefs holding you back? Go be that person!  That’s where the magic is!   So what’s your next action my friend?  What are you letting go of? How can you be more you?  Don’t try and fit in when you were made to stand out.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
January 13, 2020
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways!   Why your affirmations aren’t working?   Do you feel like you’re saying all your affirmations and they just aren’t working for you?   You’ve decided to give them a go because you’re CONSTANTLY reading about how amazing and life changing they are for other people and for some of the most successful people in the world...buuut something’s just not clicking for you.   It’s leaving you feeling annoyed, frustrated, and let's be honest, a little bit ‘silly’ and wondering why you’re bothering with this ridiculousness and thinking everyone else is actually crazy pants.   You’re NOT alone.   It may just be a few key tweaks that could make all the difference for you.  A little troubleshooting if you will.   There is SO much science behind self affirmations (check out anything on self-affirmation theory from Claude Steele from 1988)     So what are they anyway?     Affirmations are essentially where you’re working with the subconscious mind and your unconscious beliefs to drive your conscious behaviour and create new, more helpful beliefs.     Affirmations can help you overcome those annoying self sabotaging thoughts that cause the self sabotaging behaviours that stop you getting what you want in life!    Important right?   There are some key fundamentals as to why they might not be ‘working’ for you right now so lets see if we can sort a few of those out for you.   Back to basics   First of all there are the basics. M   Make sure your affirmation is in the present tense, so not ‘I will be’ but ‘I am.’   Next make sure it’s not including the word ‘don’t’.  For example instead of ‘I don’t eat unhealthy foods’ use something like ‘I enjoy eating healthy food and how it gives me more energy’.     The reason for this is the brain doesn’t compute the word ‘don’t’, It will ignore it.  So when you use don’t in an affirmation it’s affirming the opposite of what you want!   For example, ‘I don’t want to be a failure’ you’re just affirming that you want to be a failure.  Try ‘I am taking positive steps towards my success every day.’   So those are the CORE basics.   Next up we have a few common things that people do that can get in the way of their affirmations working. Magical unicorn affirmations?   You think they’re magic, rather than science. SOoooooooo many people that teach them don’t give you the WHY or the basic background of why they work on a psychological and neurological level.  They give you fluffy stuff!    All that leads to is lack of motivation because really you don’t believe they’re going to work anyway.   Or inaction.   Both won’t work! All talk, no action!   Another thing that I see often is you’re not taking any actual action to make them true!     The affirmation itself is only HALF of the thing...you’ve gotta do the other half of the thing!!     The whole point of affirmations is to get your unconscious into a place where it lets you take the action towards your conscious desires so you can actually have them.     With ANYTHING there is always some sort of action required, even if it’s a baby step.  It drives me mad that this seems to be the key thing that so many people leave out when it’s absolutely fundamental.   It’s all too conscious   It’s too...CONSCIOUS.  Affirmations work with your UNCONSCIOUS mind.     You create cognitive dissonance when what you consciously affirm completely contradicts your unconscious beliefs.     It’s almost like you’re actually just re-affirming the negative belief.     The little negative committee voice in your head says ‘err...don’t think so’   You’re essentially completely lying to yourself.  You’re trying to affirm something that you 100% believe isn’t true.     For example when you’re told to use something like ‘I am financially free, money flows to me easily and effortlessly’.  You KNOW this isn’t true right now so it does nothing but affirm your negative belief.     So flip it on it’s head, what COULD be true right now?     How about something like ‘I always find the money I need for the things I prioritise.’    That’s something you can likely get on board with and level up over time.     It takes you out of scarcity mode which is the important thing.   Saying something you feel in your heart to be an outright lie can actually make you feel WORSE, which is backed up by various scientific studies!  They don’t feel good!   So not only are your affirmations not working, they’re making you feel WORSE!    They have to FEEL good, emotion is key,  so it activates the reward centre of the brain which will help form the habit and for the new belief to be accepted as truth.   Make them more powerful by allowing yourself to visualise your life if they were all 100% true right now.    Your brain will do the rest of the work for you...it’s always trying to make you right and doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined, positive or negative, so show it your ‘truth’ and let it get to work.   Make them even MORE powerful by saying them while you’re in the alpha brainwave state.     So that’s when you’re in a meditative state and also good first thing in the morning and just before you go to sleep. You said them once   Another thing I see is a lack of consistency. You’re flippant with saying your affirmations and only say them ‘every now and again’ rather than making it part of your routine.   You want to be saying them or FEELING them as often as you can throughout the day.     Pop ups in your phone, post it notes around your house, in your journal, whatever you need to do.     Particularly focus on first thing in the morning, around meditating and before you go to sleep like I mentioned.   “Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action which makes it the architect of accomplishment.” - Zig Ziglar   Or here’s another for you, “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” - Earl Nightingale Watch your words   Watch the language you’re using.   As I mentioned before, make sure the language is in the present tense and there are no negative words such as don’t.     You’re saying affirmations to yourself all the time unconsciously. That negative committee is having a field day in your head with them.  ‘I’m not confident’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not good at X, Y, Z’.   So you’ve got to make sure you turn the positive ones into habits so you stop believing and are able to challenge the negative ones more quickly.     Watch out for using someone else's affirmations too.     It’s SO important you write them for yourself, sure take inspiration from other people but it has to be your language, how you speak.     It needs to be believable for YOU.     So sure take the ones that resonate but how would you say the same thing conversationally? You’re just trying to get it off the to do list   If you spend a little bit of time reading the HUGE list of affirmations created ONCE like you’re just ticking something off the to do list and then spend the remaining part of your day telling yourself the opposite and how useless and ugly, fat, stupid, unlikeable and how you’ll never be successful.     Can you potentially see how that might be counter intuitive? Back to action   Back to the actually taking action piece.     You may not have tried to fit your affirmations in with your goals...or set any at all!  How do you expect to get what you want when you’re not 100% clear on what that is?!   What’s the motivation behind the affirmation, what does it get you in the long run?  Try to create as much emotion as you can with it.   You don’t actually want it   Oooooh this is a biggie!  If your affirmations are linked to something you think you SHOULD want, not what you actually want, you’re going to struggle.     They need to be in line with your core values, what YOU really want.   You’re trying to train your brain and your subconscious mind here, rewire it, create new neural pathways, train your reticular activating system.     That’s a LOT to ask if you’re sending such mixed messages.     In fact you’re not sending mixed messages you’re reading something and your subconscious will just go ‘that was weird, don’t know what that’s about’ and set back to sending you all the evidence and behaviours of the messages you’re sending it the rest of the time...DOH!  A couple of extra tips for you.   When you catch yourself in a negative nelly moment re-read them or say them to yourself...but FEEL them as if they were already true.     Writing affirmations by hand or saying them in front of a mirror, or even including your name can really turbocharge your affirmations.    Even doing them with somatic movement can be incredibly powerful!    Revisit them regularly, they have to have some sort of emotional charge to them and often that changes over time.  For example, you might need to actually up level some of them because your subconscious has caught up, so what would the next level version of it be?   I mean, at the end of the day, if 5 minutes of your time every day to say some words out loud with a little feeling can help you get everything you want...is it not worth giving a go?   Hopefully a few of these tips will help you turbo charge those affirmations and start you seeing those all important results.   Make sure you tag me in on Instagram @imfranexcell.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
January 6, 2020
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: Book In a FREE discovery call https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways!   What habits do you want or need to change?   I mean REALLY time to nip it in the bud.   In this sea of ‘New year, New you’ posts I thought it would be useful to highlight why 92% of ‘resolutions’ fail.  And fail pretty quickly. (Check out why I don’t think you should make them HERE)   It’s because people don’t focus on their unconscious IDENTITY and their unconscious beliefs.     Who they are on an unconscious level.  It’s the unconscious habits and beliefs that need the work because they’re what runs 95-99% of the show, not the external stuff.   There’s no judgement here on what constitutes good and bad habits either, it’s not about making you ‘wrong’ in any way (I mean some habits are very obviously not as ‘good’ as others and there is definitely an element of honesty required when you KNOW something isn’t good for you)    Rather, it’s what is a good and bad habit TO you and FOR you, what gets in the way of you having what you want for your life?   So it’s not about focusing on the negative, It’s about focusing on the positive changes to get you what you DO want and to who you want to be, and making it about what you actually WANT for you and for your life.  And forming a habit around those.   Most of the time the focus IS on what you DON’T want and also, kind of focusing on beating yourself up for all your perceived faults! How about mixing it up and you work out what you want and then work out what behavioural habits you need to have to get there instead...so the focus is on getting what you want.     It’s not just about the external, physical habits. It’s those thinking habits, those thoughts that lead to certain self sabotaging behaviours.  Not just eat less, move more. So identify those and put your focus there. What recurring thoughts do you have that make you sabotage your efforts?   I know i’ve talked before about the power of habits and having a good routine (Read more HERE), especially in the morning, but this is a slightly different take on it.     I’m talking about the slightly more ‘incognito’ rather than the glaringly ‘obvious’ habits.   The habits that every single decision you make and action you take creates, even the teeny tiny ones.   Think about your mental mental habits and tendencies.    The little things that seem harmless but create a neural pathway and ingrained habitual behaviour in other areas that you haven’t noticed.   So going into 2020 it’s time to make sure we stop repeating the same old behaviour and patterns and expecting different outcomes.    “The way we do anything is the way we do everything.” - Martha Beck   If we have a habit in one area of our lives you are highly likely to find it in several others.   So, as an example, if you have a tendency to ‘cut corners’ in your personal life, you know, do something that’s not quite to the best of your ability but ‘it’ll do’, it’s very likely you’ll do the same in your business, and we know what that can and usually will lead to!   It’s not a great energy to be coming from and people will see through the lack of effort.   So if you just started noticing when you COULD cut corners but pattern interrupt and do something different that supports the behaviour you DO want, that’s the start of you creating a new neural pathway to doing things well and to the best of your ability.  It’s about catching yourself in the habit and making a different choice.   Your internal thoughts and habits are what ‘manifests’ as ‘things’ in your external world.  It’s what creates the results you get, or don’t get.   Sounds woo but I promise it’s not.     Manifesting is absolutely real, you’ve just got to understand a little bit about psychology and the human mind to see, it’s unfortunate that so many of the people that teach it frame it in such a fluffy way that makes rational minded people go ‘yuck’ and totally ignore it.  Your unconscious beliefs and habits lead to the results you get. Full stop.   Another example, If you have a habit of procrastinating on things you don’t really want to do rather than just pushing through and getting it done...it’s highly likely you’ll do the same in your business.  Procrastination is many things but one of the biggest is a habit! You are not a procrastinator, you have a habit of procrastinating. (Read more about how to overcome procrastination HERE)   It’s really easy to slip back into old habits even with the best of intentions, it’s like there’s this invisible pull back towards it.     Which is where the awareness and self discipline comes in giving you back the power of conscious choice. And my favourite tool from Mel Robbins, the 5 second rule.  Catch yourself in those thoughts of going towards the behaviour you don’t want. Count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move and take the action towards what you do want. (Read more about how to cultivate self discipline HERE)   Remember, changing habits takes awareness, effort, discipline and a little time and then THAT behaviour becomes your habit...THAT is your unconscious go to programming so think about how you can make it easy on yourself.  It also takes a little kindness towards yourself. You will slip up, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about getting back on it when you do slip up.   So, rather than just setting your goals in your business set some about WHO you want to BE.  How do you want to show up? (Read more about how to set goals that work FOR you HERE)   By who do you need to be, I mean what characteristics would you need to possess?  Confidence? Generosity? Determination?    What characteristics do you admire in the people you follow?  Write all this down and refer to it daily! Set a reminder in your phone!   Who can you model that's done what you want to do and what can you learn from them?    What can you read about them?  Their daily routines and habits, their non negotiables that you can adopt into your own life?   What habits does a person who has what you want to have, have?  (that's a mouthful!)   What habits do you need to let go of?   Remember, change only happens when the pain of things staying as they are is greater than the pain (as in effort, discipline etc) of change. (Read more about why it always feels so hard making a change HERE)   There are things we simply need to let go of to get where we're going.   Some of the things i’ve let go of are a lack of confidence, self deprecation (that was a BIG one), negativity, giving up when it was hard or I didn’t know the answer, caring too much about what other people think, laziness, not taking action through fear, Fear over investing in myself due to lack of self worth and guilt (if you haven’t done any money mindset work PLEASE do yourself a favour and book in a call with me HERE, it’s absolutely critical to work through!) making excuses, not taking responsibility for my part in my results, blaming.  There are lots more but you see my point.   I did all of this and then some.     There’s STILL work to do, this stuff is continuous.    I’m human.     All of these were habitual thought programmes and 100% up to me to change in order to get where I wanted to go. This is what I mean when I say it can be confronting.  You really have to own your ‘sh*%., no one else can do that for you’    You simply can't expect different results from the same behaviours, so what needs to change?   What do you need to let go of?   So for inspiration and transparency here are a couple of the things I’M letting go of this year:   Junk food and eating things I KNOW I'm intolerant to!! - WHY?  Because I know it drastically affects my mood, my productivity and my health overall and it stops now!     So whenever I have a goal I ask myself...What are the 5 steps someone would need to take to help make this a habit in the easiest possible way?  1) Stop going to the supermarket.  It's a little more effort but worth the pay off to go to farm shops.  There are plenty around here so there's no excuse really.  2) Ask their chef husband to help create some basic dishes that I love that I can always have on hand and teach me some basics of cooking healthy tasty food that doesn’t come out of a packet.   3) Get rid of any junk from the cupboards.  4) Enroll the hubs in the cause and do it together.  5) Plan more so I don't get caught in the trap of HAVING to get unhealthy food. Thanks self sabotaging unconscious mind!!   This one is a GREAT example of the only thing standing in my way is me.  My own excuses, habits and responsibility. I have literally EVERYTHING I need to be able to make this happen so I have to be honest with myself and call it out!   Where and in what areas are you doing the same thing?  Where you already have ALL the resources that you need but you’re just not using them?!   Booze is also involved in this and something I worked on last year.  I don't drink very often at all these days (ex party girl right here!) but when i've felt I 'had' to i've paid for it!     My productivity is affected for DAYS after, along with my sleep...it's not worth it!     So I have a few ‘rules of thumb’ now because my aim wasn’t to become teetotal, although I didn’t drink a drop from January until the end of May last year.     I only drink with the people I actually WANT to drink with, I only drink the drinks I actually enjoy for the flavour (Red wine with good food and cider….the west country girl in me!     Occasionally a little summer Pimm’s...because, yum!) If I know I've got a lot on, I won’t drink at all.  If I WANT to have a drink I won’t put anything in for the next day. Those are just my rules for me, my boundaries for myself! You need to make up yours in any of these areas, I'm just sharing what I do.   Next one is my need for ‘control’ over situations - Why? This is still a habit from the fall out of losing everything and being SO out of control 5 years ago.  It's something I work on but it's HUGELY important to me to completely let go.     I believe everything happens for a reason and a positive will always come from a negative but my need for control spills into how I interact with the hubs and also creates a need of feeling I have to do certain things on my own... Fran solo if you will!     A belief of 'If I don't control things they will go wrong' is a strong one for me based on so many instances of NOT having control.  It’s a deeply ingrained habit and why i’ve not done an episode on it before, once I master it i’ll let you know! I know all the practical ways to do it...but I'm not just yet.  So in the spirit of practicing what I preach it’s an episode for another day...soon ;-)     This year I'm letting it go, life's way more fun that way!     What will be will be and 2 heads are usually better than one!     And trying to 'control' an outcome is a surefire way to make it move further away because you're approaching it from an 'I'm doing this because I don't want THAT to happen' so the focus is all on the thing you don't want to happen....hello self fulfilling prophecy!     This is why I'm always saying try not to have an attachment to the outcome, treat it as an experiment, and test to tweak as you go.  The more you do this the more the need for control lessens.   One has a ‘heavy’ emphasis and is stressful and unpleasant.     The other is much ‘lighter’ and there's no self beating involved!! And dare I say it...it’s way more fun!   I'm letting go of anywhere I'm not showing up as the best me. - Why? Because it’s important to me to be the best version of me, in ALL areas of my life, not just some, and with all people.  Even the ones that rub me up the wrong way! I want to be compassionate and empathetic in all situations and hope that how I show up can help someone else show up how they want to too. We’re all reacting to each others unconscious programming ALL the time and it’s very easy to ‘react’ in the moment and when we do, it’s not always how we would have liked to.   There's a certain way I want to be but sometimes habits get in the way...so what does that mean...you create new ones!    Every single micro decision you make creates your habits, it doesn't matter what they are you CAN change them.     So I'm letting go of everywhere I'm not showing up as who I want to be.     So I will be catching myself in moments where I want to judge, cut a corner, or leave something for 'later' or getting sucked into distraction.     I also love a bit of gossip...I like to be in the know BUT I increasingly find even being involved in those kinds of conversations negative and a bit draining....so i'm going to let go of my FOMO and need to know and simply staying in my own lane, and politely making my excuses to leave.     This one's going to be tough because I LOVE people telling me their secrets ha!  I’ve always been the person that people tell everything to and they know their secrets safe since I was young. BUT, fun as it can be, it’s almost always negative about someone else and I don’t want to be around it anymore.     So there's a few...there will be plenty more!   So when you’re thinking about setting your goals, working out what you want and how you’re going to get there, don’t just focus on the external habits.  Focus on the internal ones, the characteristics, qualities, the little mental habits that put together lead to a lot of big results.    It’s SO important you work out what they are and how you want to show up, remind yourself constantly, make it as easy as possible.   Don't underestimate how much these seemingly little personal habits can affect your business and how you show up in the world!   Catch yourself when you're slipping back into the same habits you said you don't want any more!    Call yourself out on any negativity, excuses, anywhere you aren't taking responsibility, anywhere you know you have the tools and aren't using them.   We all do it, it's human nature.     Like I’m always reminding you, 95-99% of everything we do is run by our unconscious mind and therefore our habits, so we've gotta call ourselves out on it.  It's so freaking empowering when you do!   Goal setting is great but if your habits aren't matching up to what you want it's going to stop you and sabotage you.     So set your goals, but WHO do you need to BE to achieve them?     What habits do you need to start or let go of to get there? THAT's the stuff to focus on.   So what are you letting go of??
December 30, 2019
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Are you remembering the basics?   Are you remembering to do the basics of what makes you feel good?   The festive period is a funny time of year for so many reasons.  We’ve had Christmas now but we’re still ‘in’ it!   We’ve probably still got a lot going on and plans to make for New Year.   I personally love the festive season but I also know I can struggle if i’m not careful, as I know MANY other people do.   By this time of the year I’m in need of a BREAK and I know so many of you can relate because i’ve talked to lots of you about it!     There’s just something about it that makes it feel like a bit of an energy suck.   You’ve got to wrap the presents, sort your year end financials, work out what went right and what didn’t.  What you want for next year. Tie up loose ends, get the Christmas cards out, tie up any client work so you can have a proper break, probably still do work in between Xmas day and New Years, do the shopping, wrap the presents, do the socialising...phewf...it can be a lot!   That’s not even to mention people who are lonely or struggle with the festive season because of losses, strained relationships, divorce or anything else along those lines!   It can be tough for various reasons.   There CAN also be a lot of fun to be had too.   The drinks, the mulled wine, the crackers, the presents, an excuse to see loved ones, the festive cheer, ELF, HAPPY NEW YEAR!  All that jazz!   But the funny thing that I see with this time of year is our good habits often seem to go out the window a little bit.   We forget to do the things that we know make us feel good (the journaling, the morning routine, the exercise, eating well, drinking plenty of water etc), do more of the things that make us feel bad (the booze, the immense amount of pigs in blankets, the late nights)...and then wonder why we’re feeling like it’s all a bit of a struggle and we’re exhausted.   We wait and say, i’ll pick it up again in January.  This month’s a write off.   Don’t get me wrong, I'm not for one second saying don’t have fun.  It’s a time to be jolly after all!   What i’m saying is try to keep hold of some of the things you know make you feel good so you can protect yourself and minimise the impact.   AND, importantly, be able to create awareness of how you’re feeling so you don’t think you’ve gone bonkers or feel like you want to quit your business and like there’s something wrong with you.   This time of year when we start to feel tired and exhausted it’s super easy for us to feel like it’s ‘us’.  Like there’s something ‘wrong’.   Shift the focus.  It’s easy to focus on the things we HAVEN’T achieved when we’re approaching the end of the year.  Really easy, we’re wired for a negativity bias.   So, shift it back to all the amazing things you HAVE done. Ask a few people if you’re struggling, other people tend to remember more than you (that’s why I LOVE keeping track and reflecting every month and year so I remind myself)    But also, ask WHY you haven’t achieved all of the things you wanted to.   What got in your way this time?     Where can you tweak things to make sure it doesn’t happen for next year?   What do you want more of and less of for the year ahead?   What are the 3 big things you want to achieve in the next year?   Start shifting the focus towards all the things you CAN do, where you can take responsibility and understand that you have the control and the power to change anything you want.   The BIGGEST help this time of year is gratitude.   Wherever you are, with whoever you are what can you do to shift your state to one of gratitude?   If you’re dealing with difficult dynamics and relationships how can you make sure YOU show up as the best version of you?     That’s what you have control over, how YOU show up.    Other people tend to fall in line, we’re always unconsciously reacting to assumptions, deletions and distortions.  If there are certain topics that you know are going to wind you up how can you shift away from them? Most people love talking about themselves so for me, if there's a subject I don’t want to enter into with certain people, I just ask them a question about them.   The person in control of the conversation is usually the one asking the questions!   So, what positive habits can you pick back up RIGHT NOW without waiting, or writing any time off?   How can you shift your focus to one of gratitude?   How can you shift your focus to what you have control over, to what you want!   Shift your focus to all the progress you’ve made!   What changes do you want to make?   This is going to be your year my friend.  Don’t let anything get in the way!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
December 23, 2019
  Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Do you actually know what you want?  From your life and from your business?   It’s easy to THINK we know what we want but when we get there we realise things aren’t exactly what they’re cracked up to be and we’ve been basing what we’re doing on so many factors, but not really on knowing what WE want.   Or actually pin pointing that at all! We’re usually very clear on what we DON’T want, but are we really clear on what we DO?  What we TRULY want!   The irony is that when you focus on what you don’t want, or don’t have yet, then you just get more of that.  The stuff you DON’T want and more of the thing you’re trying to move AWAY from.   Focusing on what you don’t want or don’t have yet can also get you feeling pretty down in the dumps.  Impatient. Negative. Frustrated.   Not a great place to dwell let’s be honest.     I don’t want...   I’m sure you know plenty about what you DON’T want...but are you actually clear on what you DO?   So often what we THINK we want is just what we think will get us away from what we DON’T want.  But that’s not actually what we want, not really.   Still with me?   This is why so many businesses start, based purely on making money doing something you CAN do.     Usually to get out of a job or a situation you don’t want to be in, but then the motivation and passion for that business quickly goes because the focus wasn’t in the right place.     It was based on trying to move away from what you don’t want, rather than REALLY creating what you do.     Where attention goes, energy flows   Then where’s the ENERGY and emotion really?     On what you DON’T want.  On getting AWAY from something. And attention, focus and emotion is a powerhouse combination of creating whatever that is.   I’ve talked about this before but the brain basically ignores the word don’t.  So, don’t think about a green hippopotamus.   What popped into your head then?   And when you say to your kids ‘Don’t spill your drink’, what tends to happen?   So when you’re saying ‘I don’t want to be poor’ or ‘I don’t want to be in this job anymore’ what are you getting more of?     You’re also collecting even more evidence and creating more action to stay exactly where you don’t want to be.   Your subconscious mind can be so pesky!   Then comes the impatience, the procrastination, the lack of motivation, the frustration.     The most wonderful time of the year   This is a great time of year to start really doing some work around this.     I don’t believe in ‘new years resolutions’ per se (HERE is a previous episode Why you shouldn’t set resolutions) because again, it’s a focus on what you don’t want, not what you do.     I do believe in knowing what you really want and setting goals in a way that works for you to give you focus, a place for your attention and help you make decisions among a TONNE of other reasons.  (HERE is another previous episode How to set goals that work for you)   It’s a time to look at what did and didn’t work for you in 2019 and ongoing what is and isn’t working FOR YOU.     It might be working on paper, as in making money, but is it actually what you want?    What do you want more of?  What do you want less of?     So how do we turn this around when it’s so easy to get confused?   Now, knowing the ‘don’t wants’ is actually very helpful because it can really help you find what you DO want.     For example, you don’t want to be in a job because you don’t get to spend time with your family, so what you DO want is something that is more flexible so you CAN spend more time with your family.     Cool, then you can explore that.  You can use it almost as a pros and cons because the obvious answer isn’t always the obvious answer.   For example you may think you want a business so you can have the freedom to spend time with your family, then end up creating another job which often takes even MORE time.     Because you’ve set it up to move away from what you don’t want rather than setting it up to make sure it’s structured around the REAL thing you want to create.     It may be actually that you’d rather have a combination of a part time job AND a business doing something you love, it really is up to you and all based around what you want.    There’s no judgement to be made either way.  It just requires some honesty.   If you know you want your business to be full time, what are your non negotiables in terms of time, money, how you work, who you work with?  Really flesh it out to the finest of details.   Don’t get too caught up in being attached to these things because it’s fluid, it will change over time.     Often once you try something out you figure out more of the ‘don’t wants’ along the way...which also means you will figure out more of the ‘dos’.     It’s ok to change your mind, to pivot, and to THINK you want something only to get there and realise it’s not as great as you thought it was going to be.     Good old behavioural flexibility...working this stuff out is a GOOD thing!   It helps you set your boundaries when you have real clarity over what you want.   So when you find a ‘don’t want’ ask yourself what you would prefer instead.   Clarity on what you want keeps you moving towards it.     Both consciously AND unconsciously.    When you’re super clear on where it is you’re heading then your brain will start to work with you to be able to get it.   Knowing what you want helps you make decisions.  When you operate from a place of knowing what you want and where you want to be it makes the yeses AND the nos FAR more easy.     You get laser focused and can identify if something is just going to keep you busy or actually be a step closer to where you want to get. Something to watch out for…   You take action based on what you believe is possible too.     Working out what you want is AMAZING, but there may be some work to do on your unconscious beliefs of what’s possible.  Your expectations need to align with your beliefs to make them happen.   This is another reason people can set up businesses they don’t love, because they’re basing it on what they think is POSSIBLE rather than what they really want.   It’s the ‘should’ vs ‘want to’ inner tussle.  It’s easy to confuse them. So always ask yourself why you’re doing something.     The ‘shoulds’ also get in the way of knowing what YOU want vs what someone else wants for you, so again, asking yourself the right questions is going to be key here.   Clarity helps you distinguish between what’s going to get you what you want, and what’s just going to be a distraction.     It may look great on paper, but is it actually the right opportunity for you to get where you’re trying to go.   Clarity really helps with filtering out the noise, and shiny object syndrome too.     There’s SO much out there but often the shiny objects come from us not being clear about what we really want, so we jump from thing to thing hoping we’ll find it.     When you KNOW, those things can still be on your radar but you’ll be able to know what to focus on first.  For example, taking speaker training when you haven’t actually decided what your business is.     Or Facebook ads before you’ve worked out what you’re selling. All VERY valuable information, but where’s the focus and the priority that will drive you forwards?  Probably on working out what your business is and what you’re actually selling right? Training your brain and your unconscious mind   Being super clear on what you want makes sure you’re training your Reticular activating system in your brain to filter out the right opportunities for you, which is where all those weird little synchronicities start to come up.   Just before you go to bed at night is a GREAT time to essentially ‘instruct’ your unconscious mind with what you want so it will get to work for you while you sleep. So journal, visualise, listen to hypnosis and feed your brain the right programming for getting what you want.     Notice when you ignore what you want because of excuses or stories you’re telling yourself about your abilities or lack of resources.    Any of those ‘reasons’ you’re telling yourself you can’t have it. Those can be challenged, changed, found and dismissed and while they’re there they WILL get in the way of your results!   Watch where your emotions are because they are the fuel to the fire of what you create and focus on in your life. So what if you’re not 100% sure what you want?   Create a list of ‘money is no object’ things that you want.     You can do this in different areas of your life. A bucket list of things you want to do or achieve essentially.     SO many people have never done this and some surprises may come up...no more waiting!   You can pick some key ones and use these goals on a yearly, monthly, weekly, daily basis if you like!     Imagine how much more you could get done, and how much closer you could be to getting everything you want when you know every day what you’re working towards.   Ask yourself if you were the most confident person, money and time were no option and there were no limitations, what would you do?   What is your ideal day, how can you work your life around steps towards that NOW?   Experiment!  Go pick up some ‘potential’ hobbies.  You’ll soon find what lights a fire in your belly. This can become your business OR just simply be your creative outlet.  Something you love doing purely for the joy of it.   What you search for these days delivers alllll the opportunities to get it.    I mean sometimes it’s terrifying and you feel like Alexa and Facebook are literally in your head BUT on the positive side you can filter out the rubbish fairly quickly and often find the exact thing or person you need because it’s targeted so specifically to your likes and dislikes.   So there’s some food for thought here.  Whether you thought you knew what you wanted and created a beast that needs to be tamed.  Or you’re still trying to figure out what YOU want really looks like.     The bottom line is, if you don’t know what you want, how are you ever going to get it?   Let’s make a deal to let go of some of the ‘shoulds’ and take the focus off the ‘don’t wants’ for 2020 and really shift the focus to what you DO want, so you can flipping create it!!   It’s all yours for the taking.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
December 16, 2019
Are you committed to your results, or your excuses?   Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! What are you more committed to, your results, or your excuses?   Some tough love coming your way today for episode 100! YES...episode 100!   100 episodes of me being committed to my results, not my excuses.   Because if i’d listened to those you wouldn’t be listening to me right now.     I wouldn’t have been able to help all of you lovely people.     I also wouldn’t have stuck with it either.   I would have listened to the ‘I’m no good at tech so there’s no way I can produce my own show’.     I would have listened to the ‘there are already so many amazing podcasts with much bigger names who’d want to listen to mine’ or the ‘I don’t have time’ gremlin, the impostor syndrome (all the inevitable mindset gremlins that come along with stepping outside your comfort zone!)    I just would have not started...because I didn’t know where to start!     I made a commitment to myself that it was going to happen.     I knew it was going to be my ‘thing’ and I knew I would love it.  BUT, there were some SERIOUS gremlins to get through first.    So I put structures in place so I could overcome that (you’ll see why that’s so important shortly!).     I paid for someone else to set up and produce my show for the first few episodes.     I did this so I would then be on the hook and HAVE to learn AND I was 100% accountable to someone else to get the content across.     I would have to ‘get over myself’ essentially. Get over my ego, my unconscious thoughts, my limiting beliefs and all that lovely stuff.   I started recording them for early access in my group at the same time every week...again, so I was on the hook!     Then once I started getting listeners I was on the hook anyway because people were expecting episodes...and here I am excuse free and 100 episodes later in your earbuds.   The reason I wanted to talk about this specifically in episode 100 is I want to encourage you out from yourself and from your ego by telling you a little of my story.     Out from your excuses, the stories you’re telling yourself, anything that you’re doing (consciously or unconsciously!) in order to hold yourself back from being who you’re meant to be or having what you want.    I’m going to tell you about a little something special to help you on your way in a minute, but first...the tough love.   I’m talking to you from a place of SO much love, compassion, understanding and having been there, done it and got the t-shirt myself.     Also from a knowing that it’s NOT your ‘fault’ in any way.     There is nothing wrong with you and you are not ‘broken’ and you don’t need to be ‘fixed'.     I just want to make that very clear.   This is something that we ALL do at various points in life and especially when we’re trying to achieve something big.   I had to confront my own ‘stuff’ multiple times, and still do today and yes, it can be hard and sometimes ugly. You don’t want to see my crying face, let's put it that way.    But, it’s so so SO worth it.   I want you to know that you are 100% not alone in the thoughts and feelings you have and excuses that you make to help you self sabotage.   The ‘I’m not good enoughs,’ the ‘I’m not worthys,’ the imposter syndrome, the ‘I’m not clever enoughs,’ the fear of success, failure, judgement, the way you’re talking to yourself in your head and making it all about your identity, about who you are as a person.  What you’re telling yourself you are and aren’t capable of.   I want you to know I've been there. As have most other people in this game.   It’s good timing to be episode 100, I want you to go into the new year knowing exactly how much control and power you have over your own results.   I want you to take that power back, to take that control back from your emotions attached to these thoughts, feelings, beliefs and excuses.     So you control them instead of the other way around.   Because it’s all yours for the taking.   As is everything you want to achieve.   This is not from a ‘woo woo wishy washy’ place ...it's from a genuine ‘you have the freaking power to do whatever you want and you just need to KNOW it’ kind of place.   You know it in your bones already to be true.   That’s why we get so angry and frustrated at ourselves.     Because we know that we’re the only ones standing in our own way and our excuses are just something we use to temporarily make ourselves feel better about not taking action, but it doesn’t get us anywhere.   It’s nice and comfortable having excuses and blaming people and things outside of yourself for where you are so of course your brain is going to 100% support you in the endeavour to self sabotage.   But, you really are 100% capable of doing anything you want to do.     I don’t say that lightly, it’s not a positive mental ‘you can do it’ kind of thing...I KNOW it to be true.   From YEARS and almost 6 figures invested in my education in this space, thousands of hours spent reading or in the classroom and from my own life experiences...I’ve done the hard leg work to work this stuff out. You have to overcome your unconscious   Here’s the thing.  You have to overcome your unconscious programming and your ego or you WILL stay stuck.   However you do it, whether you work it out consciously or it just somehow happens it still needs to be done.    In the words of Carl Jung, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” My first big failure   I recently did a post over on my Instagram (@imfranexcell) showing people my first business.  My handmade jewellery business, Francesca Grace.   I’m very grateful for the experience now, and hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you because it just doesn’t have to!   Did I fail? No.   Did it feel like it at the time?  Ohhh Yes!   Did I make excuses, procrastinate, play the victim, stay stuck in ‘I’m not good enough’, look for reasons to quit and then actually do it?  YES!.   Is the responsibility entirely on me?  YES!! . Now, you can look at that and think it’s a negative but it’s actually incredibly empowering.     Unlike allowing blame, victimhood and my emotions to dominate which completely takes the power away from myself.   I LOVED making my jewellery, I trained in silversmithing in Hatton Gardens, I really freaking LOVED it!   It was my happy place, my flow where time stopped, people were coming to me to buy without me even needing to ‘sell’...all I’d need to do is wear my own pieces or post pictures on Facebook!   Sounds great right?   So what happened?    I did!  I let my circumstances dictate my results.   I actively stopped myself putting effort into selling ...I mean…crazy how we do that?!   I certainly didn’t listen to my gut on MULTIPLE occasions.  I was run by fear.   I started taking commissions instead of selling what I had already created, I was trying to please everyone and fit what individual people wanted and it took away my joy and flow and turned it into stress, fear & a serious ‘lack’ mentality.   I didn’t listen to how I wanted to run my business and went with what I felt I HAD to do just to make money as all of a sudden it was our only source of income.   Granted there was a LOT going on at this time so I could be forgiven for making a few excuses here and there...I’d had a car crash where I flipped and rolled my car (very scary, I don’t recommend it!), a knee operation which didn’t go well and we moved in with my mother in law after a bit of a catastrophic time where we lost our home and business.     There was much hermitting to be done!   But, I absolutely played the victim.     It kept me weirdly happy at the time, I got sympathy and understanding and felt oddly safe in my misery.     I made alllll the excuses in my business, did all the busy tasks, didn’t do the things that I knew would really make it a success and when a close friend said ‘Fran, I really think you should just get a proper job’ I was devastated...and I listened!   What was really going on was a huge amount of unconscious ‘not good enough’ beliefs.  . I was letting my unconscious run the show for me and take all the behaviours that would keep me ‘safe’ and ‘average’ and NONE of the action that would get me exactly where I wanted to be.   I was also allowing other people’s unconscious beliefs and programming to dictate my own behaviour.  Like the friend who talked about a ‘proper’ job...PAH! You enjoy your income ceiling thank you very much, ha! . Jewellery is a competitive industry & I didn’t have any support, anyone to turn to, anyone to ask questions or bounce ideas off or just to tell me I was doing ok and to keep going.    I felt totally on my own.   Just me, my negative thoughts and my excuses ha!  It was a fun time!;-)   We all do this at various points in our business but it’s all about the structures you put in place to get through the inevitable wobbles.  I didn’t have any of that. And I didn’t know then what I know now!   I’m incredibly grateful for all the lessons because it’s led me to where I am now and they were all GREAT lessons!    Sometimes on the way to the dream you get lost and find a better one.    Was it a failure? Absolutely not.  Did I quit? Absolutely yes.    You can see why it’s so important to get over yourself!    A good time to share   I felt it’s important that I share this as it’s the same thing, the same inevitable mindset gremlins I see clients struggle with.     You can learn from my mistakes without having to make them yourself.    Especially this time of year when people really do struggle mindset gremlin wise.   We look over our year and forget all the amazing things we’ve achieved and focus on what we haven’t.    We’re tired and impatient and comparing ourselves to other people.   It’s a common time of year for people to feel like quitting.   So how do we make sure this doesn’t happen to you? . You put structures and habits in place to ensure your success and that you don’t let anything stop you that really doesn’t have to!   You get committed to your results and choose to not listen to your own excuses!   You do what it takes...and then reap the benefits.   What happens if you don’t overcome the gremlins moving forwards?  What are the consequences for you and those you love?    So here’s a few things you can do to make sure you’re getting your unconscious mind to work FOR you, not against you.  And how you can make sure you’re the one in control!   How to reprogramme your unconscious mind.   Guess what, some of these are really not going to be a surprise as I talk about them ALL the time...wonder why that is hmmmm ha!   Meditation   One of my faves and an AMAZING way to counteract overthinking, anxiety, stress, helps you sleep better, increase problem solving, memory, help you be more mindful and self aware, helps with focus and attention, increased feelings of compassion to yourself and others, helps to rewire your brain for the future you want, not to mention all the spiritual goodness that comes with it regardless of what you believe ha...do you need more?? Journaling   Head back to my episode HERE on my exact process for Journaling for the non dear diary type.  This literally changed my life in 5 minutes per day through using positive psychology interventions and neuroplasticity.   Subliminal messages   Our conscious mind can only take in so much but our unconscious takes in everything.    Subliminal messages are just below the threshold to be consciously noticed.     We’ve heard how these messages work and they often can be perceived as negative, for example when used by advertisers.     HOWEVER, what if YOU decided what messages you wanted to feed your subconscious mind?     What if they were programming you for what you want while you’re doing things you do every day?!  Ooooooh!    There is a huge amount of scientific backing for subliminal messaging but one of the prerequisites is you must want the behaviour for it to work.   There is a VERY cool tool that I use called Subliminal power that does just that, while you’re using your computer.     Check it out through my affiliate link HERE.     Whether it’s confidence, abundance, leadership, whatever you feel you want more of you can have it playing in the background while you work.     It’s very freaking cool!   Hypnosis and NLP   Again, working with the unconscious mind to change the habitual thoughts and beliefs.    People use hypnosis for ALL sorts.  Changing beliefs, curing phobias, weight loss.  They’re incredibly effective modalities.     As an NLP practitioner one of my favourite things to do is set up anchors for clients so they can access any state they want whenever they need to.  Confidence or calm are popular!     I listen to hypnosis audios before going to sleep every night because it’s the best time to feed your subconscious mind messages you want it to work on overnight.     I’m developing my own set of hypnosis audios and meditations very soon so keep your eyes peeled.   Set notifications on your phone   Whether it’s affirmations, reminders of how you want to show up.     Your ‘power word’ or whatever floats your boat.  Anything that is going to shift your brain into gear and direct your thoughts to where you want them to be.   After all, thoughts become your feelings and emotions, which affect the actions you do and don’t take, which affects the results you get and then reinforces your original thought as a belief.     It’s the process of manifestation in simple terms.  And also explains self-fulfilling prophecies.   Visualisation   One of my favourite tools because the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined so you’re essentially creating ‘future memories’ to prime your brain for getting what you want.     You can read more HERE from a previous episode.   Start to ask yourself better questions to make the unconscious conscious so you can then challenge it and change it.     Work with someone who can pick out your unconscious behaviour and challenge those unconscious beliefs!    You don’t have to make it so hard OR take so long. Happy 100 episodes!   Now for the thing that I mentioned I had up my sleeve that can help you on your way.     In celebration of 100 episodes (!) of showing up for you guys, and myself, I’m going to do something I've not done before on the podcast and will only do for this week!   I’m going to offer out my ‘power hours’ (usually valued at £350) for only £167 EEEEEEEEEEK!    Like I say, this is exclusively for podcast listeners (and my facebook group because they get early access!)    The way you can get your hands on one is to private message me on Instagram @imfranexcell OR email fran@franexcell.com  It’s not available to just buy and I also want to make sure I'm the best person to help!   I won’t be offering this outside of the podcast and I WON’T be offering this price again, they will be going back up to £350!!   I also have very limited spots available for 10 people, so if you’re listening and thinking they will have all gone...notice that unconscious assumption (self sabotagggggge!) right there and message me anyway to find out! ;-)   How these work is you come to me with ONE specific mindset or productivity problem that you know is getting in your way and you want to solve going into 2020.  (You’ll get a quick questionnaire beforehand and the one you choose to work on is often not the real issue so don’t worry, we’ll work that out!)   I will teach you some key strategies to get through it, to think differently, to be able to make different choices, to create much needed headspace AND even give you time back in your day so you’re not always feeling stuck in overwhelm and procrastination, feeling like you don’t have time for the people you love.     This will set you up to start 2020 with clarity and focus.Whoop!    I have been doing these power hours in the background and they have been reserved exclusively for certain amazing business coaches VIP clients and my goodness they’ve been amazing, and getting amazing results so I’m SO excited to be able to offer them at this price as I know 1:1 coaching can feel inaccessible to lots of people...plus you can ask for it as a Christmas present too ha!   Here’s what a couple of awesome power hour clients have said:   “I had a one off one hour session with Fran. I thought we were going to work on my money mindset, turns out that is absolutely fine but my limiting beliefs were elsewhere! Fran is an amazing intuitive who can quickly work out exactly what the problem is and what needs to be worked on. She offered so much amazing advice and I left the one hour session buzzing with lots of incredible ideas. It was such an extraordinary and beneficial hour that has really helped me and my business. I would not hesitate to recommend her to other people and I look forward to working with her again in the future! Thank you Fran. X” Vic Wood, Greenerbeauty.com   “I had a session with Fran as I was struggling in business and my coach felt it was due to a mindset issue.    Convinced that all the work I was doing on money mindset wasn't getting me far, I just couldn't work out what was stopping me moving forward in my business.  Fran was amazing, asking the right questions to help me uncover the real reason I was self sabotaging and it wasn't the money as I thought. But more I had been suppressing the real me for so long.  Fran encouraged me to take action, baby steps to start and helped me to rediscover a part of me I had buried. I am so much happier in my life now and I know this will pay off for my business. I can't wait to see what the future holds.  I am extremely grateful to Fran for helping me step out of the comfort zone and back into my zone of genius and go for what I want from life. I would recommend a session with Fran to anyone who lives frustrated unable to see what is causing you to move from where you are to where you want to be and I hope to work with Fran in again in the Future.” Jenni Bush - Marketing & Media THE EQUINE BUSINESS ASSISTANT   Last one, “I am so grateful for the one hour call I had with Fran. It gave me so much clarity where I was feeling very stuck.  I am a practitioner in EFT, Matrix Reimprinting and a Transformational Coach, so I know a bit about mindset. However, like everyone, I need someone to help me find my own blindspots and Fran is great at that! She quickly found that I was doing things not aligned to my values and asked all the right questions for me to move forward.  That call took me from a place of uncertainty and anxiety to a place of relief, excitement and drive! I am so grateful for my newfound direction. Thank you Fran!” Zainab Mohiuddin   I LOVE IT!  So excited to offer these in such a big episode ...both number and topic wise.     The bottom line is, it’s time to stop listening to your excuses. You have to essentially ‘get over yourself’! Get over your ego, your beliefs about yourself, your unconscious programming.   You can have all the strategy you want but without this piece of the puzzle you’re very unlikely to take any of the action.   Where are you going to be this time next year if you don’t take a chance on yourself?  You do NOT have to repeat the same year again!   It doesn’t matter what level of business you’re at this stuff will come up at some point...new level, new devil!    I 100% believe in you.  It doesn’t matter who you are, where your from and what your programming is, you can change it and start getting your brain to work with you instead of against you.   So, the question remains.  What are you more committed to?  Your results or your excuses? ;-)   Fx Apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind here Join my AMAZING & FREE private facebook community here Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here Fran Excell, mindset coach for self sabotaging female entrepreneurs at www.franexcell.com
December 9, 2019
Nobody is perfect, so why are you trying to be?   Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Nobody is perfect.  No matter how much they appear to have it together.   Following on from last weeks episode on comparison I think it’s important to highlight this little nugget that on the surface sounds obvious, and yet many of us spend a lot of time looking at other people thinking they have it all together.   It’s very easy to get caught up in the assumption that people, perceived to be at the top of their game, have everything figured out.     They don’t.   Business coaches hit business snags and blind spots.     Mindset coaches have down days.     Social media experts don’t want to be on social media sometimes.   Productivity experts procrastinate.    Launch coaches have launches that don’t go to plan.   It really doesn’t matter who you are or what your business is, there will be times when you most definitely don’t have it together.     BUT, the magic is in what you learn in the process and how you deal with it.   There are lots of people who look out for those moments of ‘imperfection’ in other people. It says a lot more about them than the person.    You wouldn’t look for it, waiting to jump on it if you were happy with where you are and your own success.  It’s why you see so many people trying to tear down competitors and people perceived to be top of their game, or on the rise.   It’s usually all about their own jealousy and insecurity and fear of lack.   It fascinates me, I love geeking out on human behaviour and what makes people do and think the way they do.  It’s like looking at life through a different lense.   My ‘curiosity’ lense, or my ‘what’s ACTUALLY going on here’ lense. ha!   What is perfection anyway?   Don’t get caught up in striving for perfection because you won’t ever reach it, it doesn’t exist, you’re setting yourself up to fail and feel less than.   Even the mere perception of perfection is a burden.    That constant need to be ‘on’ and not drop the ball.     Sounds exhausting.    People appreciate a little more honesty these days!   I’m always saying to clients to treat things as an experiment, or a game, where you know some things are going to work and some aren’t.   But the things that don’t work will give you valuable insights and lessons that you can take moving forwards.   And it’s being ok with that.  Failure is the ‘path’ to greatness, not something that takes it away.  The most successful people on the planet have been willing to mess things up from time to time.   Look at Elon Musk and his splangly rockets!  Do you have any doubt in your mind that he’ll get to where he wants to?  I don’t!   Are there a lot of people revelling in when things don’t work?  Sure! Does he keep going? Yes!   So who does it say more about?!   All the things that don’t go according to plan, or don’t quite work out are all a step in the right direction, whatever that is.    It’s progress. Something to ponder on   Here’s the thing.     Even if things LOOK ‘perfect’ for someone in one area of their lives, it certainly doesn’t mean it is across the board.   Someone may look like they have a thriving business but do they have a great relationship with their spouse or kids?     It may look like they have it all together but do they go to bed feeling lonely?   Someone may have an incredibly successful business but feel like they can never get off social media.   There are a tonne of potential examples.   Is any of that what you want?   The bottom line is you don’t know someone's situation.   So don’t assume you do. We’re all different.     One person’s idea of perfection could be another person’s idea of hell.  There’s no judgement to be made on either.   If you want something that someone else has, work out how to get it for yourself BUT in a way that actually works for you.   The difference between you and those ‘perfect’ people is the action you do and don’t take.   It’s that simple.   If it’s possible for someone else it’s possible for you, but you have to do the work.     Unfortunately it’s a non negotiable.  You have to take SOME action!   But know what you’re striving for!  Make sure you’re able to see the technicolour, not just the black and white.   One of the most important things to remember when you’re on a path of progress, change, personal growth is to be kind to yourself.     You ARE going to make mistakes, you’re human, as is everyone else.     Even when it’s just wanting to be more positive, people can easily assume this is about an absence of negativity.   It’s not.   It’s about resilience, learning the lessons you’re supposed to.     Working out what you’re negative emotions are telling you when they show up.     It’s about curiosity, knowing you have the option to make a choice.     It’s not about not having negative emotions ever, it’s not possible, we’re human!   It’s MANAGING negative emotions and often turning them around to work FOR you.   We try to be ‘perfect’ at positivity!  When you actually say it, it’s bonkers right?!   So often clients come to me and they’re beating themselves up because they’ve had a set back, or something has happened that has resulted in a bit of a slump.  They put so much BLAME on themselves and it’s not about that.   It’s about using the awareness, knowing you can choose to change your state, or raise your vibration whenever you choose, but not by pushing the negative emotions away and sugar coating them and pretending they aren’t there.   Not about fearing them.   It’s about actually dealing with them. Law of polarity   There is no positive without negative.  No light without dark. No easy without hard.    We all have our dark sides, our shadows, our demons, our worries,our fears, our weaknesses.    We all get things wrong from time to time.   No one is immune to it.     It’s humanity and how we’re wired.    At the end of the day, on an intellectual level, we know perfection doesn’t exist, it isn’t reality.     People don’t relate to perfection anyway.     So go be yourself, without the comparison or need for ‘perfection’ and remember that we all have our own ‘stuff’ going on.   You’ll have a lot more fun that way!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
December 2, 2019
How To Overcome The Comparison Gremlin   I recently asked in my group what I could help with the most right now and dealing with comparison definitely came up the most.   It wasn’t a surprise, it comes up a lot for clients, my friends in the online space and in my feed and myself of course, i’m not immune!   Society today thrives off comparison, you only need to look at your screen time and how long you spend scrolling social media.     What are you looking for?  What do you actually spend your time doing there?     Firstly, it’s totally normal.     We do it all the way from being little kids.     I certainly always compared my chip portion sizes to my big brother...i’m all for equality...if not tipping in my favour, but that’s by the by!   It’s another one of our lovely little protection mechanisms so we can work out what or who is a ‘threat’ to us.     Obviously what this meant in cave man days vs now is very different but that mechanism remains in our reptilian brain.   It’s also how we work out where we ‘fit’ in society.   Psychologist Leon Festinger noted there are two distinct types of comparison in his study on social comparison theory.     Upward and downward.  We use it as a way to make an accurate assessment of where we are. Our skills, abilities, values, beliefs, everything.   As humans, we’re always looking to make sense of the world around us and one of the ways we do that is comparison.     Working out where we fit in the pecking order if you will.   We’re judging ourselves against other people. Often through the lens of other people’s metrics too.   For example, we judge people based on what we value and want for ourselves.  Would you judge me on the arch of my foot? Probably not...but if you were a ballet dancer you probably would!   It’s human nature and fundamental to human existence, so let me say now, you’re not going to ‘get rid’ of it completely.     BUT, when you can understand comparison, take a step back and look at it with a little more awareness, it’s power over you dissipates.   It stops being such a negative thing.     It stops having power over our own behaviour, actions and beliefs of ourselves.   I was a TERROR for comparing myself to other people for most of my life.     Now, if it’s in front of my face, it’s still natural to compare of course, but I remind myself of a few little things...and have lots of ways to avoid it in the first place.   Some of which I'm going to share with you now.   Comparison is basically a lovely little method of torture for ourselves. However, it is a two way street.   When we think of comparisonitis we often think about the ways we compare ourselves to others who we perceive to be ‘better’ than us at the moment.  But we do it the other way too.      So this is the upward and downward comparison I mentioned.   When we compare ourselves and think WE’RE the ones doing better, it gives us a boost to our self esteem.     But it does keep us in that cycle and habit of judgement so it often doesn’t help in the long run.     It’s also perpetuating a cycle of negativity because let’s be honest...it depends on other people being in a ‘worse’ position than you.     Apples vs pears   The trouble is, we’re not actually comparing reality with reality most of the time which is where it can become tricky.   So there’s a few things I'd like you to remember if you catch yourself in a comparison loop.     Insta vs reality   There are a TONNE of things that people don’t tell you so you never really have the full picture.     On social media, people can say what they want, true or not...and it can be giving you completely unrealistic standards to live by and a very skewed version of things.    We see this talked about a lot when it comes to social media, magazines, editing apps etc.   So it’s about being able to look at things at face value and understand that there could be more going on than meets the eye.   We’re all human and we ALL have struggles.       Not all comparison is a BAD thing.     You can use it as motivation to fuel you to push forward.     It can even show you great insight into what you actually want.  Feelings of comparison often come hand in hand with envy but instead of looking at it as a bad thing, be excited that your emotions are showing you what you want.    It can also give you evidence of what’s possible. It can actually increase your self esteem.    You get to choose how you use it.     There is no such thing as an overnight success.   There really isn’t. People like to let you THINK that without detailing the years of slog or struggle it took to get them there.  It’s valuable to understand this.     Comparison is in itself a focus on lack.     What you think you DON’T have yet. What does that help with?! We all know by now that where you put your focus is where you see your results so shift it to all the good stuff that’s possible and away from what you don’t have YET!     We are making it MEAN something about us.   What are you making that comparison MEAN about you?  That you’re not good enough? What story is it causing you to tell yourself about what’s possible for you?  Notice it so you can consciously challenge it.   Comparison can be addictive.   We get positive hits of Dopamine every time we compare ourselves positively to someone else so it’s no wonder we do it.     But this can be a double edged sword when this doesn’t go in our favour.     Instagram taking away the like feature is a HUGE step in the right direction for this.     Comparison can make people really b*tchy!!     You see it all the time in the online space.  People slagging off competitors, talking badly about people in a bid to make themselves feel better about themselves.     It can even go as far as full on bullying, and it all comes from a place of comparison and insecurity and usually not anything to do with the other person in the first place. Be the bigger person.     Worth remembering!   For every person you’re comparing yourself to, someone is comparing themselves to you! We all start somewhere.     Support networks   You don’t know their support network! Quite often all the people at the top are in masterminds together and are friends.  They collaborate. It’s really easy to look at it and think they’ve done it all by themselves but it’s often not the case...but you don’t know that!     How can you combat the comparison gremlin?   Take a break from social media!   Unfollow anyone who makes you feel bad in any way...AND anyone who you keep tabs on to make sure you’re ahead!   Remember Insta vs real life!   Comparison as perspective.  Remember you can compare downwards with empathy.  It’s not always about making yourself feel better, it can be something that makes you feel grateful for what you have, rather than focusing on what you don’t.   Don’t compare your 10th step to someone else’s 10,000th.     Stay in your own lane!  Do YOUR thing! It doesn’t really matter what everyone else is doing.  Pick who you want to learn from and ditch the rest!   Once you create a habit of doing that you’re able to think so much more rationally about where you’re at.     In whatever area of your life you’re making comparisons.     In your job, business, family, friends, your weight.     When you can look at it with aware and rational eyes you can see all the technicolour of your situation, instead of focusing on the black and white...which isn’t true anyway!    It helps you be more resilient too, to look at all sides of the coin.     It’s a much happier way to live and you’ll probably find you get FAR more done because you aren’t creating stories about yourself, your abilities or other people and you start to follow your own gut and intuition more.   And if people want to compare themselves to you and be negative...it says WAY more about them than it does you.  Empathy over anger is a little philosophy of mine because people who behave badly towards others are not happy people.    How about we all stop the judgement, of ourselves and others, and try and lift each other up instead.     I mean, imagine if everyone did that!     I know it’s unlikely as it’s human nature to compare...BUT, picture what it would be like if it happened.  Oooooh!   So, how can YOU make a difference?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
November 25, 2019
Lessons We Can All Learn From Dr Seuss   Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! I don’t know about you but despite being 35 years old I’ve learned some incredible lessons from Children’s books, particularly Dr Seuss, over the years, many that I think can be applicable to business and life in general.   I honestly think if you got him and AA Milne in a room together there would be some PURE magic, oh to be a fly on the wall for that chat.   So much freaking wisdom that you wish you appreciated as a child.   Anyhoo, what’s my point here?   I was at a big entrepreneurial event a couple of weeks ago and I was having dinner with some power house women that I'm very lucky to be able to call friends and I talked about a reading we had at our wedding of Oh the places you’ll go by Dr Seuss.   They giggled (then remembered I'm essentially a big kid and it’s not really a surprise that I read this stuff ha!) and I said, hold up let me read it to you.   So I did.   They were transfixed...And they instantly ‘got it’.   So today’s message for you is going to be slightly different!   So perhaps ‘Oh the places you’ll go’ is not a common wedding reading but considering what we were going through at the time, incredibly poignant for us.   The reason I want to share it with you today is that it really helped both myself and my husband at the time to keep the faith in tough times.     To know that we were still on the right path despite what we were going through at the time and that it would all be worth it in the end, and we’d probably come out better and stronger in the long run.   I still occasionally read it out to my husband as a reminder of where we were, where we are now, the journey and a reminder to keep the faith.     That everything is going to work out just as it’s supposed to.   I won’t go into detail about what was going on for us because it’s not just my story, but the short version is that we lost a business, our home, moved in with my mother in law (for 4.5 years...Sorry Pen!) and had originally cancelled our wedding because we could no longer pay for it, all this happened pretty much in one go.   Our parents kindly stepped in and we had the most incredible DIY wedding where I made everything from scratch...yes baked bean cans were used very creatively ha!  But that's by the by!   Oh the Places You'll Go is a message of being able to regroup.     A message that everything isn’t going to be perfect all the time, that mistakes will be made, but that you can come back fighting and it’s not the end.   For me Oh the places you’ll go is a message about staying curious, open and to keep going.   I thought it would be a good time to share it now as we’re so close to the end of the year, and the end of the decade and I'm seeing/hearing a lot of people panic.   Panic about not being where they wanted to be yet.     That they feel far away from their goals and as if they’re running out of time.   You’re not.   Trust me.  You’re exactly where your’re supposed to be right now. I know it can feel hard but be patient grasshopper...it’s all coming to you, maybe not in the same form you think it will be right now, but if you stick with it it’s coming!   So, of course I can’t just read the whole thing out for you so do go and purchase your own copy! I highly recommend reading it to your kiddies too.   But I'm going to pick out my key quotes from it and what I took from them, in the hope that it helps you too.   I hope you love it as much as I do.   “Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   Love this for a starting point.  For me this is showing that EVERYONE has the ability to achieve whatever they want as long as they CHOOSE to!  And TODAY, not tomorrow, not next week, TODAY is YOUR day.   “You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   This for me is about having your wits about you and trusting your gut and intuition to guide you and really TRUSTING yourself. And being OK with not having it all figured out at once, it’s not realistic to expect yourself to, so sit with it and stay patient.    “And then things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   I love this little sentence.    For me It’s all about how you need to allow yourself time and trust that your thoughts and beliefs are going to catch up to you.     Again, it’s about trust for me.  Trust that even though it’s going to feel a bit wobbly at times and you’ll have doubts that it will all come together.    It always takes a bit of time for your unconscious programming to catch up with your conscious wants, goals and desires.    But, it will catch up if you make the unconscious beliefs conscious so you can challenge them and take the time for your brain to gather the evidence.   “You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights! You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.  You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don't. Because, sometimes, you won't.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   This is the piece of expectations vs reality! Being prepared to fall, fail and fail forward!    “I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   Urgh...I think we can all relate to this one! It’s inevitable that there will be ups AND downs.  It happens to all of us.   Then there’s the friends (and family!) who don’t ‘get’ what you’re doing, there’s people who pretend to be your friend based on what they think you can GIVE them and their perception of what you’re doing and where you’re at!     It can be tricky to navigate but so worth it in the end because people who were never REAL friends will go and you’ll be left with the 'lifers'.     The people who have your back and lift you up.     Letting go of friendships can be hard but remember it’s not actually about you anyway, it’s about them, their map of the world, what you highlight in them that they don’t like. All sorts of things.     The bottom line is it will feel tough...but it’s for the right reasons in the end and all the amazing ups are on the other side of it.   “You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump. And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done... Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   It’s inevitable that we will make mistakes, sometimes fail, do something against our values because we’re told that’s the way it’s done and then beat ourselves up for not being where we want to be, or for having a setback.     But the message for me here is to stick with it.  Don’t lose hope.     It may not be easy sometimes but it’s all POSSIBLE, especially when you work out the pay offs and potential rewards. Some of my favourite questions to ask are what are the positives and negatives for if I do and DON’T do something.    This game needs an element of courage.  Which isn’t about not feeling fear, it’s about taking action in SPITE of it.   “You can get so confused that you'll start in to race, down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.The Waiting Place...   ...for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go, or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow, or the waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   Then it goes in to many other ways to be waiting, ha!    I LOVE this part the most because it really highlights just how ridiculous it is to stay waiting.    That’s what will cripple you achieving what you want.     Waiting for circumstances to change rather than making it happen for yourself!   And yet, it’s what SO many of us do.  We wait, stuck in inaction.   “NO! That's not for you! Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you'll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you're that kind of a guy!” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   Then there’s a lovely piece about all the lovely things you’ll be doing, ha!   This shows that to find the way through it’s about taking action. Taking action is where things move forward and you build momentum.   And then...   “Except when they don't Because, sometimes they won't.  I'm afraid that some times you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.  All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you'll be quite a lot. And when you're alone, there's a very good chance you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   We can all relate to this part i’m sure.    The feeling that we have to do everything for ourselves.     The inevitable mindset gremlins, fear and uncertainty that really are inevitable.   This can be a lonely game if you don’t put a structure in place to deal with it. Being alone is NOT the best or easiest OR quickest way forward. It takes longer to get out of the slumps and funks when you try to do it on your own.   Systems and structure help you through any of the wobbly times so you DON’T feel all alone.    We are all our own worst enemies, it’s how we’re built and how our brain can work against us….but it doesn’t have to be that way.  Once you learn a few tools and techniques you can learn to get your brain to work WITH you, and unslump yourself MUCH faster.   What can you put in place to make sure you have that structure?    Masterminds, coaching, memberships, going to events...what will it be for you?   “But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl….On and on you will hike, And I know you'll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   This is all about courage for me.     Action in spite of fear, setbacks, failures, mishaps.     The resilience to just keep going and you’ll get where you’re going.   That’s the good stuff!   “You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know... So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   Good old behavioural flexibility!  Everything worth having is going to come with ups and downs, be as prepared as you can...but also prepare to be flexible!   “And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)  KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So… be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea, You're off the Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!” (Oh The Places You’ll Go, Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr Seuss)   I LOVE this finish.     For me it’s essentially saying this is FOR YOU.     No matter who you are or where you’ve come from, you just have to choose it and it’s possible for all of us.   Make the decision and take the action and get on your way.  Stick with it, expect a few wobbles, ups and downs along the way.  Keep your vision in mind and you’ll get to where you’re going. Patience.   I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as me and you’re popping  off to your nearest book store to grab your copy.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! It’s time to overcome self sabotage and get more done, in less time!   Fx
November 18, 2019
What's the problem, really!?   Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   What’s the ACTUAL problem stopping you being where you want to be right now, hmm?   This is a subject that has been coming up a LOT recently with clients.     Where we can often ‘assume’ something is the issue holding us back, when in fact it’s something completely different.   When I read the intake forms for the lovely ladies who work with me and what they want the subject of their call to be, it often very quickly becomes clear that what they THINK is the problem, isn’t really a problem for them at all and it’s something completely different...and often a potentially easy sort!   But it’s SO important to work out what it is or you’ll stay stuck in a constant loop and not moving forward.     When the problem is run from unconscious programming or thoughts and beliefs...how can you expect to see it unless you’re really looking and asking the right questions?     It’s a fact and ‘just the way it is’ for you when it’s unconscious.     But, that is VERY rarely the case that it’s fixed. What label are you using?   We like to ‘label’ things and label things that we perceive to be ‘wrong’ with us, reasons or excuses for why we aren’t where we want to be yet that are often outside of us.     Even labelling something a ‘problem’ makes us feel better because it’s something we can attach to.    But, what if we saw it differently?    What if we stopped calling them ‘problems’ all together?    Even simply changing the language can shift the way we look at it.     What if they were just obstacles?     Or even just ‘questions’ to be answered?    It makes it a little less emotionally charged and gives us some power back, right?   One of my favourite words to use personally is ‘quandary’, sounds totally solvable (and weirdly fun, it’s a bloomin great word!), nothing that requires emotion or labelling as such...just something that requires some lateral thinking to find the way forward.     It sounds far less ‘permanent’ than a problem. It’s all part of the journey   But, this is all part of the journey to achieving big things in life.     We want these things solved NOW, instant gratification, but unfortunately the majority of the time it really doesn’t work like that.    But, it CAN often be a lot more simple than we think.   So, here’s the thing.     There are several key ‘problems’ that I see time and time again and often it can be just a tweak in thinking that’s required to get you moving again.   First up, ‘I have a problem with my strategy’   We can often think we have a ‘strategy’ problem where we get stuck in a loop trying to find ‘THE’ way to start making things happen.     This is where good old shiny object syndrome can set in and keeps us in a perpetual loop of looking for the ‘one’ thing that’s actually going to work for us, but actually we end up jumping from strategy to strategy and not actually implementing anything for long enough to let it work.   Sometimes it IS a strategy problem but...You guessed it, often it’s really not a strategy problem at all.     You can know all the things, but you’re still not doing them...and that’s not strategy.   So what is it then?   This is where the mindset piece comes in, and needing to work out WHY you aren’t doing the thing that you already know how to do.    What unconscious programming, thoughts and beliefs are stopping you taking action?     What is it that’s REALLY holding you back?   So this could actually be a mindset problem masquerading as a strategy problem.  Then next up is the ‘I have a mindset problem’.     Procrastinating, stuck in overwhelm and not taking action because there’s just TOO MANY THINGS leaving you frozen and crippled with a lack of confidence and self doubt.   But do you REALLY have a mindset problem?     Maybe you do ...or, could it potentially be some simple tweaks to your productivity that will get you out of that overwhelm, procrastination and ‘I don’t have time’ zone?   The amount of times I get people booking in with me about a money mindset issue or overwhelm or procrastination and in an hour we’ve gone through some game changing (and simple!) productivity tweaks that have just given them HOURS back in their day and you see the weight visibly lift.   But I also get to see the lightbulb of confidence, belief in themselves and that ‘oomph’that they thought had gone visibly return.    You don’t know what you don’t know at the end of the day, right?!   If you don’t LOOK for a better way how can you know there is one?   So here we have the ‘productivity problem’ masquerading as a mindset problem!   Sheesh, this stuff is confusing right?! Next up we have the ‘I have a Mindset problem’...and i’m always busy and tired and I'm feeling down and I don’t know what’s wrong with me!   Now the first important thing to be said here on this one is that it’s always a good idea to speak to your GP and/or a therapist/counsellor to make sure there’s nothing else more sinister going on.     Looking after your mental health is so important and it’s ALWAYS worth speaking to a professional who can help and check the necessary things that need to be checked.   BUT, on the subject of this one, when you think there’s a mindset problem and you’re always feeling tired and unproductive, could it be a tweak in lifestyle that could be of benefit and be the difference that makes a difference?     This has certainly been the case for me in the past and if I start to feel a little ‘off’ and can’t put my finger on why then I have a look at a few key things that make a HUGE difference for me.   Are you getting enough sleep?  Sleep is SO important for your mindset and your health as a whole and it is very easily de-prioritised, especially by people who advocate the ‘hustle’ mentality to entrepreneurship.   I have a hard and fast rule of 8 hours sleep.  If it’s really not possible for whatever reason, then I FEEL it.  In my productivity levels but also my mood and my memory...and ability to string a sentence together ha!   Are you prioritising self care?  You can’t pour from an empty cup and as business owners it’s easy for this stuff to get overlooked, again, especially if you’re operating from the ‘hustle’ mentality.  What can you do to make sure you’re looking after yourself and making sure you take time to relax?    Again, if I notice a dip in my mood and I can't really work out why then I ask myself this question ...then i’ll go run a bubble bath and take my meditation apps with me for an hour. I will MAKE time for it.  So what is self care for you?   Are you drinking enough water? Sounds SO simple but it has a HUGE affect on mood, memory, focus and TONNES of other things.  It’s not to be ignored!   Are you eating a good balanced diet or reaching for the junk because it’s easier and it’s 10pm and you ‘forgot’ to eat.   This is my battle and has been since I was about 14 years old and something I’m constantly working on.  But I know my triggers and I also know how much of an effect what I eat has on my productivity and mood.  If I have a big lunch then the afternoon is often a write off in terms of getting stuff done. However, if I have a light lunch then I have MORE energy and get MORE done.     The trick is to notice what certain foods or certain meals do for you in these areas.     You wouldn’t naturally think that a potential antidote to a lack of productivity and procrastination could be as simple as what you eat and drink...so it’s something you have to consciously look for.   So here we have a potential ‘physiological problem’ masquerading as a mindset problem. Yikes! So how do you know which is which?   Well, you can find out for yourself through trial and error and asking the right questions, self coaching, reading the right books, creating awareness for yourself and being curious about what’s potentially going on.   You can speak to people doing what you’re doing and see if they’ve noticed any patterns in you.     This could be membership groups or masterminds that you’re currently in.  Friends and family, biz besties.   Or, you can work with a professional to get to the bottom of it.   Whether that's your GP, a coach or mentor in any of these areas.  Just someone who knows what they’re looking for and can help you shine a light on it.   We all like to ‘self-diagnose’ and it’s easily done but you can waste valuable time and energy focusing on the wrong thing by ‘assuming’ you know what the cause is.   Remember the majority of this is UNCONSCIOUS.  You don’t know what you don’t know.     It’s time to stop beating ourselves up for all these ‘problems’ that are part and parcel of doing this on your own.  Having this level of awareness isn’t the ‘norm’ for most people...but you’re not most people!   Just know this, whatever the ‘problem’ is, it’s changeable, which is the fun part!     You’re never as stuck as you think you are as long as you ask the right questions.   So get curious, use your journal to map some of these things out on a weekly basis so you can see the common patterns and start asking yourself the right questions...or book in a discovery call with me ha!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx What’s the ACTUAL problem stopping you being where you want to be right now, hmm?   This is a subject that has been coming up a LOT recently with clients.     Where we can often ‘assume’ something is the issue holding us back, when in fact it’s something completely different.   When I read the intake forms for the lovely ladies who work with me and what they want the subject of their call to be, it often very quickly becomes clear that what they THINK is the problem, isn’t really a problem for them at all and it’s something completely different...and often a potentially easy sort!   But it’s SO important to work out what it is or you’ll stay stuck in a constant loop and not moving forward.     When the problem is run from unconscious programming or thoughts and beliefs...how can you expect to see it unless you’re really looking and asking the right questions?     It’s a fact and ‘just the way it is’ for you when it’s unconscious.     But, that is VERY rarely the case that it’s fixed. What label are you using?   We like to ‘label’ things and label things that we perceive to be ‘wrong’ with us, reasons or excuses for why we aren’t where we want to be yet that are often outside of us.     Even labelling something a ‘problem’ makes us feel better because it’s something we can attach to.    But, what if we saw it differently?    What if we stopped calling them ‘problems’ all together?    Even simply changing the language can shift the way we look at it.     What if they were just obstacles?     Or even just ‘questions’ to be answered?    It makes it a little less emotionally charged and gives us some power back, right?   One of my favourite words to use personally is ‘quandary’, sounds totally solvable (and weirdly fun, it’s a bloomin great word!), nothing that requires emotion or labelling as such...just something that requires some lateral thinking to find the way forward.     It sounds far less ‘permanent’ than a problem. It’s all part of the journey   But, this is all part of the journey to achieving big things in life.     We want these things solved NOW, instant gratification, but unfortunately the majority of the time it really doesn’t work like that.    But, it CAN often be a lot more simple than we think.   So, here’s the thing.     There are several key ‘problems’ that I see time and time again and often it can be just a tweak in thinking that’s required to get you moving again.   First up, ‘I have a problem with my strategy’   We can often think we have a ‘strategy’ problem where we get stuck in a loop trying to find ‘THE’ way to start making things happen.     This is where good old shiny object syndrome can set in and keeps us in a perpetual loop of looking for the ‘one’ thing that’s actually going to work for us, but actually we end up jumping from strategy to strategy and not actually implementing anything for long enough to let it work.   Sometimes it IS a strategy problem but...You guessed it, often it’s really not a strategy problem at all.     You can know all the things, but you’re still not doing them...and that’s not strategy.   So what is it then?   This is where the mindset piece comes in, and needing to work out WHY you aren’t doing the thing that you already know how to do.    What unconscious programming, thoughts and beliefs are stopping you taking action?     What is it that’s REALLY holding you back?   So this could actually be a mindset problem masquerading as a strategy problem.  Then next up is the ‘I have a mindset problem’.     Procrastinating, stuck in overwhelm and not taking action because there’s just TOO MANY THINGS leaving you frozen and crippled with a lack of confidence and self doubt.   But do you REALLY have a mindset problem?     Maybe you do ...or, could it potentially be some simple tweaks to your productivity that will get you out of that overwhelm, procrastination and ‘I don’t have time’ zone?   The amount of times I get people booking in with me about a money mindset issue or overwhelm or procrastination and in an hour we’ve gone through some game changing (and simple!) productivity tweaks that have just given them HOURS back in their day and you see the weight visibly lift.   But I also get to see the lightbulb of confidence, belief in themselves and that ‘oomph’that they thought had gone visibly return.    You don’t know what you don’t know at the end of the day, right?!   If you don’t LOOK for a better way how can you know there is one?   So here we have the ‘productivity problem’ masquerading as a mindset problem!   Sheesh, this stuff is confusing right?! Next up we have the ‘I have a Mindset problem’...and i’m always busy and tired and I'm feeling down and I don’t know what’s wrong with me!   Now the first important thing to be said here on this one is that it’s always a good idea to speak to your GP and/or a therapist/counsellor to make sure there’s nothing else more sinister going on.     Looking after your mental health is so important and it’s ALWAYS worth speaking to a professional who can help and check the necessary things that need to be checked.   BUT, on the subject of this one, when you think there’s a mindset problem and you’re always feeling tired and unproductive, could it be a tweak in lifestyle that could be of benefit and be the difference that makes a difference?     This has certainly been the case for me in the past and if I start to feel a little ‘off’ and can’t put my finger on why then I have a look at a few key things that make a HUGE difference for me.   Are you getting enough sleep?  Sleep is SO important for your mindset and your health as a whole and it is very easily de-prioritised, especially by people who advocate the ‘hustle’ mentality to entrepreneurship.   I have a hard and fast rule of 8 hours sleep.  If it’s really not possible for whatever reason, then I FEEL it.  In my productivity levels but also my mood and my memory...and ability to string a sentence together ha!   Are you prioritising self care?  You can’t pour from an empty cup and as business owners it’s easy for this stuff to get overlooked, again, especially if you’re operating from the ‘hustle’ mentality.  What can you do to make sure you’re looking after yourself and making sure you take time to relax?    Again, if I notice a dip in my mood and I can't really work out why then I ask myself this question ...then i’ll go run a bubble bath and take my meditation apps with me for an hour. I will MAKE time for it.  So what is self care for you?   Are you drinking enough water? Sounds SO simple but it has a HUGE affect on mood, memory, focus and TONNES of other things.  It’s not to be ignored!   Are you eating a good balanced diet or reaching for the junk because it’s easier and it’s 10pm and you ‘forgot’ to eat.   This is my battle and has been since I was about 14 years old and something I’m constantly working on.  But I know my triggers and I also know how much of an effect what I eat has on my productivity and mood.  If I have a big lunch then the afternoon is often a write off in terms of getting stuff done. However, if I have a light lunch then I have MORE energy and get MORE done.     The trick is to notice what certain foods or certain meals do for you in these areas.     You wouldn’t naturally think that a potential antidote to a lack of productivity and procrastination could be as simple as what you eat and drink...so it’s something you have to consciously look for.   So here we have a potential ‘physiological problem’ masquerading as a mindset problem. Yikes! So how do you know which is which?   Well, you can find out for yourself through trial and error and asking the right questions, self coaching, reading the right books, creating awareness for yourself and being curious about what’s potentially going on.   You can speak to people doing what you’re doing and see if they’ve noticed any patterns in you.     This could be membership groups or masterminds that you’re currently in.  Friends and family, biz besties.   Or, you can work with a professional to get to the bottom of it.   Whether that's your GP, a coach or mentor in any of these areas.  Just someone who knows what they’re looking for and can help you shine a light on it.   We all like to ‘self-diagnose’ and it’s easily done but you can waste valuable time and energy focusing on the wrong thing by ‘assuming’ you know what the cause is.   Remember the majority of this is UNCONSCIOUS.  You don’t know what you don’t know.     It’s time to stop beating ourselves up for all these ‘problems’ that are part and parcel of doing this on your own.  Having this level of awareness isn’t the ‘norm’ for most people...but you’re not most people!   Just know this, whatever the ‘problem’ is, it’s changeable, which is the fun part!     You’re never as stuck as you think you are as long as you ask the right questions.   So get curious, use your journal to map some of these things out on a weekly basis so you can see the common patterns and start asking yourself the right questions...or book in a discovery call with me ha!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
November 11, 2019
How To Listen To Your Intuition & Trust Your Gut   For Ryan Pinnick's Free Event Click HERE Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Do you listen to your intuition, let alone actually USE it?    You hear that whisper in the back of your mind or that feeling in your gut, but do you pay attention or ignore it? What even is intuition anyway?!   It’s that little whisper in the back of your mind leading you towards or away from something or someone.    When you meet someone and you just feel a ‘vibe’ that something’s off.  Or that potential business partner where you just get a feeling it’s not quite right.   Or that thing you kind of have a ‘pull’ towards that always seem to have weird synchronicities but you just ignore it. I like to think of it as my very own ‘Spidey senses’.   It’s SO freaking helpful to learn how to tap into it because it can lead you towards some amazing places and opportunities and away from some potentially bad ones.     Having your intuition or your ‘gut’ by your side in business, I think, is paramount.   Every time i’ve not listened to my intuitoin it’s steered me wrong.     Yes i’ve learned valuable lessons that I'm very grateful for in the process but it could have potentially been avoided in the first place had I listened to my gut.   You tend to either get the vision or results that you really wanted….or the lessons you really needed.  Both are valuable.   I know, I know...a lot of people, when it comes to talking about intuition, can be a little on the fluffy side which just isn’t your jam right!    BUT honestly, you’re missing a trick if you’re not using it because it’s FREE...and tells you everything you need to know.     Your intuition knows the right answer for you long before you’re consciously aware and trying to analyse everything logically.   It’s being able to essentially tap into your subconscious mind and your body to help steer you in the right direction.     It’s a very psychological, neurological and physiological process.   Doesn’t sound particularly ‘woo’ now right?! Getting back in touch with an old friend   We use our intuition a lot as children and many of us lose it somewhere along the way to adulthood.  I’ve always been very ‘intuitive’ and a bit of an ‘empath’ when it comes to reading and understanding other people, but I had lost my way a little in terms of listening to it for myself and my own decisions.   So i’ve been working on getting back in touch with it a little of late.    I’ve been working with a lovely human called Ryan Pinnick (who offers a free 1 day event to get you started and if you want to go you ABSOLUTELY should, even if it’s just to dip your toe in the water.  You can use my link HERE) and i’ve been learning to really listen more and explore things that I might usually have ignored. My whisper   The whisper I’ve been ignoring for the longest time is to do with singing.     I LOVE singing...In the car. I do love a bit of karaoke too.  However...when I have to sing ‘seriously’ I get ‘silly’. This is a pattern I've noticed in myself, a tendency to go to ‘not taking it seriously’.  So I thought I would explore it.   And guess what...it whispers, you answer and then all these weird little synchronicities start to happen and it’s SO fun.    So just by following it I started taking different actions than I would have before.     Purely from listening to the whisper and making it conscious.     So, i’ve booked myself some singing lessons to just see where it takes me.     My little dream or ‘vision’ in my head was being in a recording studio...guess where the singing lessons are, in a real recording studio, it wasn’t the first listing on google but the first I clicked on.     I wanted to put myself out there for the potential of open mic nights (might as well go all in right?!) and didn’t know where to start...and guess what….it’s in a little mecca of  musicy-type people and they run their own...yep, open mic nights.   I never persued it because it wasn’t something I wanted to be ‘famous’ for or make money from and I imagined singing with someone playing the guitar and thought where the heck am I going to find someone to do that with...guess what...they run collaboration networking events AND can teach me a few chords myself to get started.   The excuses were getting smaller and smaller and it was becoming inevitable and these synchronicities are after TONNES of others I noticed but ignored.     So, i’m just seeing where it takes me.  I shall keep you updated on instagram stories so make sure you follow @imfranexcell.   Liberating!   But, when you think about it for a minute, what an exciting and liberating way to live right?     Just getting curious about those whispers and gut feelings.     Just thinking ‘what if’ and treating it like an experiment.     No pushing, no hustle, no drama just intuition and curiosity and openness to what may happen.  No expectation.   What would it be like to run your business a little more that way?     Listening to the whispers about what’s right and not right for you?     Listening to the whisper and just taking a little action just to see where it leads?    So, how can you get more in touch with your intuition in practice?   Listen! It’s there, just start to be aware of it. It is often repetetive, so notice the things that come up often and listen for what it might be trying to tell you. Are there times when the same thing seems to crop up?  There’s probably a reason!   Notice your physiology. Palms sweating, stomach ache, butterflies. It’s all your body telling you something. Positive or negative.  Your gut is literally your second brain. There are literally MILLIONS of neurons in your gut...they’re trying to tell you something so pay attention!    Notice your emotions. Are you excited? Wary? Scared? Listen, tune in and ask yourself what it may be trying to tell you. I noticed that every time I thought about singing in public, or was singing at the top of my lungs in the car I'd well up...it was weird I won’t lie! It wasn’t unhappy or happy, just a big, seemingly random, rush of emotion...which was one of the things pointing me to just see what it’s about.  There was only so long I could ignore that. So when I post videos from my lessons I can pretty much guarantee there will be some tears ha!   Ask yourself. Ask yourself for ways around problems, for what you should do, what you would love.  Close your eyes and wait for the answer. Your directing your subconscious mind and asking it to talk to you...which it will! It will be in an image, a feeling, a symbol, whatever it is just pay attention.  It’s a great idea to do this just before you go to sleep to so your brain can get to work on it for you ;-)   Meditate. Take a moment to slow down.  Your intuition may be trying to talk to you but you won’t hear it if you’re hustle, hustle, hustle.  Meditate daily, even for a couple of minutes and see what comes up! Whatever you do, sloooooooow down!   Limit your time with people who push their opinions on you I know this can be a tough one but when there ar epeople close to you who push their own agenda’s and opinions on you it can really cloud your intuition. So it’s important not to let them.     Your intuition will help you make decisions, help you know what you want and what you don’t want, it will let you know who to be around and who not to be around, it’s tapping into something you already know, you already have the answers, you just perhaps didn’t know where to find them!    That client your gut tells you you shouldn’t take on.   That client you just KNOW you’re going to work with.   That potential JV partnership that feels awesome, or you’re wary of.   It will be talking to you in all of those instances and hundreds more.   How amazing that you’ve got that resource just waiting to be used!   Now it’s important to say don’t blindly just follow it every single time, just get curious with it and see where it takes you.   It’s important to be able to distinguish between what’s your intuition and what is your ego.     If you’ve been following me any amount of time you’ll know that there are certain inevitable feelings and gremlins associated with trying to change or achieve something big and outside of our comfort zone so if you are feeling fear or resistance then it could be your ego talking.   But if you have an inkling that something isn’t quite right but you can’t put your finger on what exactly it is or you have a feeling in your gut...then it’s likely to be your intuition.   Time to use this free resource just dying to help steer you in the right direction!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
November 4, 2019
How to prioritise so you actually achieve what you want   Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   Do you feel like you know what your priorities are?     As always this counts for both your business and your life.   Or do you often feel like you’re splinning plates and at any moment they’re all just going to drop?!   If you struggle to see what you’re REAL priorities are and get stuck in the ‘busy being busy’ tasks and feeling like you’re not really getting anywhere, or jumping from shiny object to shiny object...then you’re NOT alone!   It’s easier when you’re told what to prioritise   When you’re in a job it’s often a lot easier to know what your priorities are because you’ll be led by management based on the business priorities.  Targets, goals, aims etc. Essentially you get told what your priorities are.   If you don’t know what YOUR targets, goals, aims etc are it’s easy to see how the priorites can get lost in the ether and be harder to spot.    There is an element of juggling to be expected between business and life priorities but it’s just about being able to identify if priorities need to shift in the moment or if you have to use your self-discipline to stay on track and not get blown off course.    Behavioural flexibility is always going to be a keystone to success because life happens, but the more you practice and become aware of what the real priorities are in the moment then the easier it’s going to feel.   Prioritising is Mui Importante!   Helping clients prioritise is a BIG part of what I do.     Helping get them out of those moments where their focus has gone, or when the thing they THINK is the priority actually isn’t really and it’s causing them frustration or ‘distress’ in some way, and you can see why it’s important.   There are a TONNE of different ways and modalities for prioritising and you need to find the way that works for you but i’ll talk you through a couple of my favourites and I’ll also talk you through how I prioritise so you can decide what’s going to work for YOU!   The Eisenhower Matrix   A very popular method to work out your priorities is the Eisenhower Matrix.     It’s simply splitting tasks into a quadrant with urgent vs not urgent and important vs not important.   So if it’s urgent and important, it's an obvious priority.   If it’s urgent and not important these can be those tasks that you delegate.  So things that do need to be done but awful things aren’t going to happen if they don’t get done or can easily be done by someone else to leave you free for things that are more important.  For example, that facebook post that didn’t go out today.   If it’s not urgent but it’s important then decide it needs to be done and then schedule a time to do it.  That doesn’t have to be right now but it needs to be at some point.   If it’s not urgent and not important DELETE IT FROM YOUR LIST!   There are things that will come up every day that SEEM super important.  Be honest with yourself.     Do them if they are...while keeping the bigger picture/end goal in mind so you’re always moving forwards!    My scary brain dump to do list.   I’ve talked about this method in several episodes but it’s always worth reinforcing because often when clients go back into overwhelm and I ask if they’ve done this the answer is no.     Then they go do it...priorities straight, no more overwhelm. Magic!   You can find a link to my template HERE   So, here’s how it works.   Split a page into 3 columns. Column 1 is the scary brain dump part where you put everything down that you’re telling yourself you need to do.   In the middle column take the tasks from column 1 that absolutely have to be done this week or there are consequences.   In column 3 split it into the number of days you’re working and every day in the morning take 3 tasks from the middle column that have to be done that day or there are consequences.   So you’re always having to be honest with what the real priorities are.  It forces you to think that way. Once you’ve done your 3 you can add another and feel super accomplished and producutive but it will always keep you honest about what REALLY has to get done.   For me it’s all about what’s going to move the needle the fastest.  Be that financially, audience growth or creating headspace.   Essentially, What’s going to get you to your goals and where you want to go quickest.   Eat That Frog   People can have a tendency to avoid certain tasks, for a number of reasons, but what those tasks do is stay in our minds like a pesky little gremlin taunting us with it’s presence.     It takes away your focus, your motivation and sends you straight to procrastination station.     The quickest and best way to get rid of that pesky gremlin is to just do the task.   It will often take a fraction of the time you’re telling yourself it will and it will honestly create so much headspace and relief for you the pain of getting started is completely worth it.   My favourite person in this field is Brian Tracy, and my favourite tool of his is detailed in his book Eat That Frog.  I   It’s the idea that you tackle the biggest, scariest task first and then everything after that will feel SO much easier.    It works a treat and is often one of the first questions i’ll ask a client if they’re stuck in overwhelm.  Which task would create the most headspace?!   Mindset and productivity go hand in hand   You’re probably starting to see why I link Mindset and Productivity together in my business.     They are intrinsically linked.     Often we think we have a mindset problem and it’s actually just a few simple productivity tweaks that are needed.     On the flip side, we can often think we have a productivity problem but actually it’s an unconscious mindset issue going on that’s sabotaging your progress.     It’s difficult to know which without talking to an expert, so that’s where people like me come in.   A few other prioritisation tips   Stop telling yourself everything is just as important!     You know it’s not true really.  There may be a few things that are the same level of importance, but not everything.  If that’s the case, pick one and it’s go time, then the next, then the next.   One foot in front of the other.     Also, on some things you may easily look at as ‘urgent’ such as emails, what can you put in place to make them less so?   For me having an auto response set up on my email is a game changer because it allows me to work how I want to work and schedule how I want to schedule and minimise context switching.   People are addicted to instant gratification, but they also crave acknowledgement.     Often an acknowledgement that their message has been received and a time frame to expect a response can be enough to keep the wolves from the door, so you’re not constantly context switching and having to drop everything the second an email comes through.     Bear in mind that often we THINK something is really urgent but it’s really not so just be aware, catch yourself and ask yourself the question.  What happens if this doesn’t get done right now? Are there consequences for me or other people? What are they?   Perhaps most importantly, if you’re consistenly putting something off, it’s time to work out why.     SO much of what we procrastinate over, put off and de-prioritise is deeper rooted than we think.    Yes there’s the age old ‘I just don’t want to do it’ but sometimes it could be what we’re telling ourselves happens once the task is done.     Stories about what we commit ourselves to, what we're making it MEAN.     There could be a fear of success, fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear that we’ll have to keep doing something that actually deep down we don’t want to.   So many things can contribute to it from our unconscious programming.  As soon as you work out what it is you get that power of awareness, which gives choice and responsibility which then gives you much more to work with in terms of what is really a priority, and what’s not.   So, how I like to think of things to help me prioritise.   What’s going to move the needle fastest?   What would create the most headspace for me if it was done?   How does this push me forwards towards my goals?   What are the consequences if it gets done, or not done?   And just be honest with yourself and challenge your thoughts, or be around other people that will.     Come join the Proactive Pants Mastermind if you want my help and my eyes on your priorities ;-)    If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
October 28, 2019
  Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways! For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Don’t Fear a No!   Do you not take certain actions in your business (or your life to be fair!) because you fear getting a ‘no’?   Do you stop yourself advertising your services, or putting out a promo post because you fear the no?   We’ve all been there at some point.  I hear you.   However, after 15 years in sales, including plentiful cold calling, I know a thing or to about the ‘no’!   I’d like to try and give you a different perspective that may help you take that next step. Because selling, and putting yourself out there to hear ‘no’ from time to time is fundamental to your business.  Without it, you don’t have one.   It’s time to stop looking at a ‘no’ as a failure.   Getting a no can be a GOOD thing!   Huh?   I remember when I first started in classified advertising sales at the big national newspaper for their magazines.     I was cold calling Independent Financial Advisors every day and it terrified me, daily.   How I even got the job in the first place I don’t know because it was so wildly different from my personality to have a job like that. I was very self conscious, had a huge fear of rejection and no confidence in myself, let alone my ability to sell.  Doesn’t make for the best sales person on paper really does it!    Little did I know that, once I was able to get out of my own way, it was actually the start of a successful career working for some of the UK’s biggest newspaper and magazine brands.     It was horrendous, I don’t wish cold calling on anybody, HOWEVER, it was 100% an amazing foundation in sales, difficult conversations, how not to take ‘no’ personally, how relationships and building rapport were the key to everything and that getting a no was not (most of the time!) a reflection on me!   It was not a reflection of my own self-worth.  And it’s the same for you.   Don’t fear rejection   Nobody likes to get rejected, it’s one of the top fears as a business owner, along with failure.     So a ‘no’ in this sense can feel like a complete double whammy on the gut punch front!      On the other side, It’s easy to say no when you don’t know someone.     You haven’t built that relationship with them yet.   The average person needs to see a message at least 7 times before saying yes, even then there are certain mental barriers we can put up, objections, stories that we tell ourselves, we often need a little scarcity to get us off the fence to help us make the decision and so many other factors that contribute to whether it’s a yes or a no.   BUT...Every no gets you closer to a yes.     It’s also great practice, and what does practice make?     You get to analyse what works for you and what doesn’t, and tweak and test over time.    There’s also something to be said for finding YOUR way to sell.     If you’re trying to sell something in a way that you would never buy from, then you’re highly likely to sabotage yourself because it will feel fundamentally against your values.   Also, If you’re trying to sell in a way that would annoy YOU, it’s highly likely to annoy your ideal client. Our ideal client is often some version of ourselves so how you would feel about something, or would have felt about something is often a good indicator of how your audience might feel.   Don’t make that ‘no’ MEAN something it doesn’t.    For example, If you don’t make that one sale then it means you’re not good enough and your business is never going to work so you may as well quit now. Really?!   Remember when you’re running a service-based business you’re not only selling yourself which can be scary but it’s a PERSON on the other end of the line.     It’s not a number, it’s not just you being able to pay your bills, it’s a real life human being with their own fears and feelings on the line.     So, when you can come to the conversation and help them make the best decision for THEM, even if at this point it IS a no, then that ‘no’ will never feel BAD because you’ve still helped someone, and they’ll remember that too.     You’ve helped them make a decision that’s right for them and where they are right now, they will appreciate and absolutely respect you for guiding them through that.   There are SO many reasons why someone would say no, most of which are nothing to do with you.     Timing, genuine cost reasons, (perceived) time availability, they don’t trust you or they don’t trust that your service solves their problem.    They may simply not be the right fit for you, their problem may not be something you can actually help with, they may have different criteria for what they’re looking for...perhaps they want the cheapest, not the best option...you don’t know and it’s best not to assume.   There are MANY other reasons but these are the most common.    Just because it’s a no the first time round, doesn’t mean it will always be a no.   It’s important to seek feedback where you can so you can learn from the experience and a ‘no’ can really give some great learnings.     Not everyone will give it to you but those that do can really shift your perspective on why it was a no in the firstplace without making it all about you.   So asking the scary question, ‘What could have made this a yes for you?’    This is also where a lot of sales can actually get turned around, because if the objection is something really solveable you can help coach them through it. The insights you can gain simply from asking are huge!    It’s VERY helpful to notice where your focus is.  If your focus is on the ‘no’ before you even put out the post, or get on the call you’re energy IS going to come across.     If you can shift that focus on the negatives of a potential ‘no’ to one of service to the person on the other end and a potential YES...then you will approach it in a MUCH better space, with a MUCH better energy and THAT will come across.     Remember you’re always selling anyway.     When you’re talking to your spouse, friends, your kids and you’re trying to get them to do the right thing for them, or what you want them to do that’s selling and negotiating!    It’s easy to focus on a ‘sales call’ as a big scary thing when it’s plain and simple a conversation where you’re trying to see if you’re the right fit for each other and helping someone make a potentially big decision.     As much as you’re making a ‘no’ mean something specific to you, they are making a ‘yes’ mean something specific to them or about them.   They may not feel worthy enough of the investment in themselves which is a HUGE reason people can say no to a big investment.   There are a TONNE of assumptions and stories we make when we’re going into a call or on a call.     Often we’ve decided if this person is going to work with us before they even get on the phone based on what they may or may not have said on an intake form.     But that’s just what they are, opinions, assumptions and stories, they aren’t fact.   If you don’t sell, you won’t have a business it’s plain and simple.     If people aren’t aware you can solve their problems then how can you solve them?   When you feel that fear bubbling up ask yourself what happens if you don’t sell??    If you DON’T put yourself out there for a potential no? Are you denying help to someone who you COULD help?    Try and take it away from what it means for YOU and your business, what does it mean for the people on the other side of it?   Listen to what you’re telling yourself about selling or getting a no, what are you making it mean?     What do you believe about sales? Do you see it as sleazy or of service?  What image do you get when you think of someone selling to you?   Ask yourself what you make a YES mean! If you’re not confident in what you’re selling you may be just as fearful of the yes in case you can’t deliver.   When you can work out what some of these beliefs are, you can challenge them.    So instead of simply focusing on the negatives of getting a ‘no’, what could be some potential positives?    Remember you can also say ‘no’ to a potential client.  If they aren’t the right fit for you you get to say so, so it’s not one sided.   If you started your business because you wanted to help people in some way then help them by telling them you can help them solve their problems.   If you’re confident in your product or service and the difference you could make to someone’s life...why would you not put yourself out there for the ‘no’.  What if it’s a yes and you change someone’s life for the better?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
October 21, 2019
  For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Don't Get Caught In The Worry Loop! Do you often get caught in a worry loop?     When something happens (or often, hasn’t even happened yet!) and your immediate reaction is to catastrophise and think of all the worst case scenarios that could possibly happen….before they actually have.    Then, you plummet into a ‘woe is me, everything’s awful, this is 100% the end of the world’ kind of zone which, let’s be honest, doesn’t help anyone!    Sound familiar?  That's the worry loop.  Urgh!    This used to be me on a daily basis ha!     SO, let that be a testament to the fact that it can change for YOU.   It’s often just a few simple tweaks to the way you look at and think about things, catching yourself before you descend into the loop and getting into the habit of thinking in a way that is going to be much more helpful for you.   We can also often use these common thought processes to make this a judgement about ourselves.     ‘I’m such a worrier’. ‘I ALWAYS overthink.’ ‘why do things ALWAYS go wrong for me?’   We beat ourselves up and stay in that victim mode far longer than necessary and make it a part of our identity.   Here’s the thing.     Worry is NOT something that is ingrained in you as a person.  It’s not WHO you are, even though it may really feel that way!     You have a HABIT of worrying.    It’s the go to defence mode that keeps you safe.    It’s what I used to do.  I thought that if I worried about things it would in some way change the outcome. I would be prepared for the worst case scenario if and when it happened.  But what was really happening was I was already living my life as if it had! Pain for absolutely no reason.   The reason I’m talking about this today is it’s something that has been coming up a lot for my clients recently.  Worrying about putting themselves out there and thinking about all the negative ‘what if’s’ that may happen, and not focusing on the positive potential of what may happen when you do something.  It’s easily done!   It’s also something that I used to really struggle with and things that have happened, personally, recently have really highlighted how big the shift has been for me and what that’s meant for my life.   What if?   I really used to let worry, overthinking and anxiety overtake my life.  I would worry constantly about the ‘what ifs’ that hadn’t happened yet.     When something DID happen I would go into victim mode and I’d literally want to hibernate and dwell in my own little self made misery pit. Life wasn’t life for me unless SOMETHING was going wrong.  It was my default mode.   When you start to do the work on yourself you start to see these habitual patterns in all their glory.  It can be hard to look at, often hilarious to look at with a sprinkling of ‘what on earth was I thinking’ thrown in...but always enlightening and ALWAYS making so much sense.   I’m always saying that awareness is the first key to change but you get to have that on the other side of the change too.     Those special moments when you realise how far you’ve come and how something that felt so all consuming at the time, is just not an issue at all anymore.   The thing that’s really highlighted this for me this year is the fact that 2019 has NOT been the best year for health in my family.     Both my parents were diagnosed with cancer within a few months of each other.  Dad was recovering from a big op and then mum got diagnosed.    Now, they are both on the mend and we have always been a family of ‘if something’s not right, go get it checked.’ We are incredibly lucky which is a point I will come back to later.     Then I recently had my own scare.     In the back of my head I was like...come on the likelihood of it being a triple whammy is so so small.  But, I really noticed how I took it in my stride.     The time waiting, the appointments, the invasive tests, the potential outcomes and what that could mean, whereas before it would have absolutely crippled me mentally.     I know I wouldn’t have been able to think about anything else when I was in the head space I was in previously.  For it to be both my parents and then thinking about the potential it could be me too. I could have let those ‘what if’s’ consume me as I would have done previously but I was very matter of fact about it.     Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.  There’s no point worrying until we have the facts.  It just didn’t feel like a big deal at all, it seemed more of a big deal to the people that knew it was going on than it felt to me.     These thoughts CAN consume you...I get it!   Something that happens (or you’re worried about happening) in one area of your life can affect everything else!   As a side note, I’m also absolutely fine, thank you very much for asking ha! Lifestyle change and a little operation and I will be right as rain! So I’m VERY glad I didn’t waste all that precious time worrying, not taking action ‘just in case’ or preparing for the worst.   We all could have chosen to focus on the big scary word and the treatments and all the other stuff but it just brought us together as a family.  We looked after each other. Which is why I say we are lucky.   We chose to look at what was in our control and what was out of it. To look at the positives in the situation.     It’s made us take our health more seriously. Not take things for granted.  To be grateful ALL the time, even when things don’t look or feel great.   SURE there were FFS ‘moments’, that’s completely normal and understandable when the proverbial hits the fan, but it was the conscious choice to not let it affect other things, and to ask ourselves better questions.   So what’s my message here.   How you choose to respond to things really is your choice.  You may have habitual thinking patterns working against you right now but you’re the one in control here, not external circumstances.   Remember that, it’s powerful.   It’s very easy to, but you don’t have to go into panic mode and focus on all the negatives, you can choose to look for the positives, they’re always there if you choose to look.   It’s about resilience, problem solving, knowing you can’t plan your first reaction but you can always choose your second.     Looking at something and going, right, not ideal but what can I do here to improve things?  Whatever it is. Whether it’s an issue in your business, your health, your relationships, the same rules apply.   It’s about catching yourself before you head into the worry loop and being able to use gratitude as the antidote to worrying.    It’s about perspective. Perspective is Huuuuuuuuuuge when it comes to blasting away worry.  Is it REALLY the end of the world? Probably not!    When you’re caught in a worry loop and you’re making something MEAN something else.  ‘This might happen and that would mean X would happen.’ really catch yourself in those thoughts and ask if it’s really true.  What else could happen that’s not negative? What’s a potential positive?     It’s about asking yourself who is this worrying helping, who is it harming?   It’s knowing to catch yourself in those loops and your best and quickest routes out, do you have a coach or mentor or best bud who can shift your perspective easily until it becomes a habit?   Life can throw us some serious curve balls from time to time but it’s up to you how you want to handle it and what else in your life you let it affect.     It won’t be easy at first, you’re creating new neural pathways and changing habits you may have had for most of your life.     But know it can be done, and there WILL be a day in the not too distant future where something happens that previously would have hugely affected you, and you take a step back and notice you’re cool as a cucumber.     I wish you many of those moments, because if you do the work, they’re coming my friend!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
October 14, 2019
  For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Are you thinking big enough?   Are you currently thinking BIG enough?   In your business and your life?   Do your current goals ‘stretch’ you and take you outside of your comfort zone, or are you pretty comfortable with them and know you can hit them.     Do you stop when you do hit them??  Or do you then challenge yourself and push yourself further? The map is not the territory   We tend to be restricted by what we THINk is possible.     We constrain ourselves based on our own maps of the world.     What we’ve seen, heard, modelled, believe and are told is possible for us.     We see what’s possible for other people, but all too often we look at it and think ‘that’s for them, not me.’ and it’s utter rubbish.   It really is.  I know, I spent most of my life living that way and I know better now.   You’re restricting yourself by YOUR version of reality...not reality itself.   Really ponder on that one for a moment. It’s all possible   One of the presuppositions of NLP is ‘if it’s possible in the world, it’s possible for me.’      You just need to work out how you need to think and who you need to BE to make it possible for you.   By who you need to BE I mean, what do you need to believe?  What traits do you need to have? Patience? Tenacity? Confidence?  Whatever it is, you can learn it. Aim high   To illustrate all this I love the quote by Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote ‘The Power of Positive Thinking, ‘Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll and among the stars’.   I loooove this quote and have it up on my wall as a reminder to think big, dream big and that even if I don’t get to exactly where I planned, it’s ok because I’ll be a LOT further along than I would have been if I was playing small and safe.     Think about it this way.     When you know that the subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between good or bad, right or wrong, it goes by what you tell it.     Therefore if you’ve told it you want a 10% increase in revenue year on year...then it’s working to get you a 10% increase in revenue year on year. It’s working to filter out the opportunities for that, it’s driving your work ethic and your goal setting, everything!     It’s a very reasonable and achievable goal and you’re likely to hit it.  You may even surpass it.     But, what if your goal was for a 100% increase year on year?     How would that change your behaviour?    How would it change your focus?    How would it change your RESULTS?     Even if you DON’T hit 100% I’d be willing to bet that you’d be far further along than 10%!    So why not shoot for the moon?! Start small, go big   There’s something to be said for starting small for sure. Niching down as much as you can.     Nurturing a smaller number of clients and potential clients to the absolute best of your ability so they become your biggest champions.   Setting up with minimal outlay.     HOWEVER, having the end goal (not that there ever really is an END goal...you just keep growing and evolving!) in mind can and will drive your success.     Where you COULD be in the future.  What you’re AIMING for. The BIG picture.    This is why it’s SO important to have a big reason behind doing what you’re doing, not some fluffy, wishy washy ‘Why’.     It helps you think bigger and changes your thoughts, beliefs, behaviours and actions to make sure you’re always taking steps forward.     Perhaps you want to start your own charity, or build schools in 3rd world countries, or help save endangered species or eradicate depression.     Whatever that big ‘legacy’ reason behind you doing what you’re doing is.     Where are your prices?   This can happen a lot with setting pricing too.     Sometimes we can assign a value to something based on our ideas of WHO we are, WHERE we are currently in our journey and also where we place our own worth.     However, it’s important to look at the size of the problem and put the worth on it being solved.     For some problems that’s priceless!  But pricing yourself too low can actually be off putting for people.   If you have a choice of 3 courses or services that solve your problem, one is £50, one is £300 and one is £1000.  Which one do you want?     Why?  Because of the perceived value of it.  We assume that the higher priced product is going to be the best one, right?   Also, if you haven’t looked at your pricing in comparison to your overall business goals, how are you ever going to know if you can hit them?  Work backwards, reverse engineer! Do you have plans for growth?   You can also think of thinking big in terms of growth, expansion and scaling.     What’s phase 1...then phase 2, 3, 4 as you keep growing and get bigger and make sure you’re creating longevity for yourself as you go.   One of the ways I look at this is I will invest in systems at the best level I can afford. Future proofing for where I know I will get to.  I plan to ‘grow into’ some systems for sure.    For example, email systems.     Yes you can boot strap to begin with and I will keep my eye on things I don’t need to use just yet...however, I don’t want to ‘grow out of’ things as it’s extra time and money to migrate things across in the long run.      So, I would rather start with the system I know I want, at their lowest level and then the ‘upgrades’ are within the same system and FAR easier.    When you think bigger you won’t let comparisonitis get in your way, you’ll go for the opportunities that you might otherwise not because you’re not ‘big’ enough yet.  My opinion is if you don’t ask you don’t get.    So how can you think bigger?   Firstly, always try to challenge yourself, ‘If I was thinking bigger here, what would it look like?’ Dare to dream   Allow yourself time to dream.     Use meditation and journaling as a way to get those dreams out and into a do-able structure.     It’s ALL  doable when you’re actually looking for how to make it happen.     When you use what you already know about how to get your brain to work WITH you rather than against you (if you’re new to me then have a binge of some more of my content and you’ll be well on your way!)then you’ll be unstoppable.     Sometimes we stop when we can’t see the ‘next first step’.     Keep asking ‘how can/could I do this?’ ‘How could I make this a reality for me?’ the answers will soon come, believe it or not you probably already have all the answers you need.     Or you can short cut it and learn from someone who’s already doing it.  Magic! Surround yourself with A players   Surround yourself with people who get where you’re going and will keep pushing you along for the ride and catch you in those moments when you’re thinking or playing small.     So much of it will be unconscious behaviour so it’s important to increase your own self awareness but also make it easy on yourself by being surrounded by other people who will see it a mile off and lovingly point out the potential patterns. Everyone’s version is different   Remember that everyone's version of thinking big will be different.  So make sure you take the lead on what it looks like for you, but be honest and don’t allow yourself to get caught up in fear.     How big you’re prepared to go will change and evolve over time.  Taking that step will soon turn into a leap.     There’s definitely something to be said for ‘slow and steady wins the race’ and personally I think that builds great longevity because you’re always thinking in 1, 5, 10, 20 years time how you can grow and evolve.     But doing that with the big vision in mind...ooosh that’s powerful!   So what could you do today to think a little bigger?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
October 7, 2019
  For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   How to have more courage   Would you like to have more Courage?   Or do you feel like you have it in droves already?   What could you achieve if you did have more?   What would you do that you don’t currently?   I was talking with my high performance coach recently where the subject of having courage came up.   It’s something I definitely have now but it 100% didn’t use to be that way.  I was a quiet, scared little mouse, believe it or not!   I honestly would run the opposite direction of anything new or anything scary, I wouldn’t put myself out there for rejection or judgement of any kind.     If fear came up it would literally stop me in my tracks and that would be that for whatever dream it was I was trying to achieve at the time.   I just wouldn’t even try.     I was even worse if I DID try and had a knock back.  Nothing could get me back on that horse once I'd fallen off it.   Resilience was not one of my strong points.   You can see how that pattern of behaviour didn’t get me very far, especially knowing what I know now.   Fear is a prerequisite to success.  Falling off the horse is a prerequisite to success.  Not the opposite of it.   That these thoughts, feelings and behaviors will have protected us at some point, and that’s exactly what the brain is trying to do, protect us.     It doesn’t distinguish between what’s good or bad for us.     Helpful or not helpful.     It just thinks in terms of safety and what’s worked in the past and staying away from anything uncertain.   The best way through that is courage.     Understanding a little bit about the brain is SUPER helpful in creating that courage, but that really is the trick.   Confidence and courage comes from doing.   It comes from training your brain that it’s all good.  You’re safe.     Cognitive neuroscience proves that courage is something that can be learned and strengthened.     Along with the other lovely jubbly behaviors and traits that you want to have...whether you currently have them or not.   Positivity, resilience, courage, tenacity, whatever you want MORE of to get you where you want to be.   As with all these behaviours we want as business owners or when we’re trying to do something great, or new, the evidence tells us time and time again that we can learn and strengthen these traits.   This is AMAZING news, and why I’m always saying, who you are today doesn’t have to be who you are tomorrow.     You get to choose.     You can’t unlearn that fact.     Once you know that’s a possibility the only person getting in your way is yourself, so you need to question if you actually want what you’re going after enough.     I’m also always saying, that once I made the DECISION, when I sat day drinking staring at the anti depressants I'd just been given, that enough was enough and I didn’t want to be that negative, self defeatist person with no self esteem.     I didn’t want to be that person who constantly found excuses, played the victim and allowed external circumstances to dictate her life.    That decision was a pivotal moment in my life and EVERYTHING has changed for the better because of it.   You’re prepared to go through the discomfort and effort of the change itself when staying where you’re at is WORSE.   It was the courage to look at myself in the mirror and know I could be better.   To have the courage to say I don’t know how I’m going to do this but I’m absolutely going to find a way.   To have the courage to look at my life, my thoughts, my behaviour and my own excuses and realise my own responsibility in getting there in the first place AND to realise that I was the one with the power to get myself out of it.   It took some serious courage.     To pick apart my own life and personality piece by piece and put it back together in a way that I wanted it to be, to be who I'm actually meant to be based in my own values and what was important and how I wanted to show up for other people.   I always try to leave people feeling just a little bit better than when I met them in some small way.   I was the opposite before.  I was a fun vampire and it was hard and confronting to look at that, it took courage to change it.   Having courage, or being courageous or brave isn’t about not feeling afraid ever, it’s about carrying on regardless.   So what does courage mean to you?   It means something different to each of us so I can only really tell you what it means to me.   But I do encourage you to grab your journal and ask yourself this question as an exercise.     What does courage mean to you!?   For me, it’s always taking action in spite of fear.    It’s taking action in the unknown.    Being ok with taking a risk.    Being brave and strong even when you could easily fall apart.    It’s to do something where even though something could possibly go wrong, you do it anyway.    It’s KNOWING it will work out in the end, exactly as it’s supposed to.     Knowing it may be a bumpy ride but the payoff and lessons along the way will be absolutely worth it.    It’s doing things that may not be ideal, or may be tough, for the greater outcome.     It’s carrying on in spite of fear, pain, doubt and uncertainty.    It’s learning to MANAGE that and take control of it.   It’s continuing to take action when it would be FAR easier to quit.   So what is it to you?   When you understand what it is for you, and that you’re in control and you can LEARN it and strengthen it over time what could you do today, right now, to take that first step towards that?   What have you not been doing because you felt you didn’t have the courage to?   Isn’t it incredibly empowering to know that every time it will get better and better, easier and easier?  And to know that it’s absolutely completely normal and you’re just working from your own current map of the world and unconscious programming and that it can change the minute you choose for it to?   I have a group of very special ladies and we are challenging ourselves to do something once per month that terrifies us.     It could be something we’ve been holding ourselves back from, confronting a physical fear like jumping out of a plane (with a parachute of course!) but you see what I'm saying!    Fear is there to protect us and without it we can become reckless in various ways and it can put us in danger.    However, when it’s acting in spite of fear to create the life that you want then courage is something you’ll want to find.   It doesn’t have to be something big, just that first step.   Picking up the phone and calling someone you lost touch with, saying sorry for something, doing your first facebook live, reaching out to a potential client.     It really doesn’t matter what it is, or in which area of your life because if you strengthen that courage muscle in one area of your life it strengthens it in another.   So, what small step are you going to take today?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
September 30, 2019
  For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways! Do you have a good routine set up for your day?     Do you feel productive and in control?     Or, like you’re winging it, getting nothing done and unable to change old habits?   Have you recently gone full time in your business and you’re wondering where your mojo and ability to actually get stuff done has disappeared to?!   You’re not alone.   Something I work on a HUGE amount with my clients is setting up a routine, particularly if it’s working around a job or if you’ve just left one.   Not just a routine but one that will get rid of old unhelpful habits and set up new, helpful ones that help get you where you want to go.   Intuitively you know what the bad habits you want to get rid of are, and you know the good habits you WANT to start…but you’re still doing the bad habits...and not doing the good!   The annoying thing is, we instinctively know that routine is good for us because we teach it to our kids.    And usually, it’s what we had when we were kids.  We know what’s best for us really!     But it’s like this little rebel gremlin takes hold and does the opposite...because it can!   When we’ve been in some sort of routine for our whole lives it’s really easy to think you can relax it when you’re your own boss.  And to an extent you can.   However, if you want to stay off the overwhelm and procrastination train then it’s a good idea to create a new one that will allow you to create success and live the life that you deserve.    It’s also easy to think that a routine is constricting in some way, but it’s actually very VERY freeing.  As with most things it depends how you choose to look at it.   So what do I mean when I’m talking about routine?   A routine is something that’s in place to allow you to create habits that serve you.  That make your life better. And in turn, stop the habits that can create a negative effect on your mindset, your business or your life.   It’s something that allows us to use the way the brain works to our advantage.  To create auto pilot habits that allow us to live in the best possible way. To create high performance and limit some of the inevitable mindset gremlins as best we can.   So why else do we want a routine in our life?   Routine helps you be far more intentional with your day.  So instead of getting up and feeling like you’re just floundering and fighting fires every day, you know what you’re doing.    You create so much extra head space just by knowing ‘what comes next’ because it takes the thinking out of it.   Routine creates patience and discipline which in my opinion and experience are two of the key ingredients for success and happiness. It helps you let go of the attachment to the outcome and understand how much control you have over your own situation.   It helps to get rid of overwhelm.  It literally reduces the amount you need to think and the decisions you have to make.  So having a routine will actually create more time for you.  It will also increase your organisation and focus because it makes you hone in on the real priorities, so you have more clarity and can get more done in less time.   Routine reduces stress because there are habits built into your routine to specifically do that for you.  Plus it will mean that self care and down time are always a part of your life. Everything just starts to slot around it like magic!   Routine also massively increases productivity.  With just a few simple habits and daily routines you can dramatically turn around the amount you can get done in the time you have. (Read more in How To Find More Time In Your Day Here)   Routine makes it easier for you to do the things you want to, but feel like effort.  It can eliminate decision fatigue every day by planning out things like meals and outfits in advance.     Being in a routine takes a lot of the ‘thought’ out of things.  You’re learning to use the fact that 95-99% of everything you do is driven by your unconscious to your advantage.     Think about how long you spend every day working out what you’re going to wear.  What you’re going to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, should you do this or that next...imagine how much time and head space not having to do that would free up for you.     Having a routine helps you rewire your brain for the habits that you want.  For the person you want to be. For the energy you want to have. It literally gives you the very best chance for success.   So worth having a little think about hmmm?!   Some ideas to ponder on and a few of my little routines:   Journal morning and/or evening.   I use my journaling for the non dear diary type method to make sure my brain is always wired how I like it, for positivity, kindness, gratitude, etc.  How I want to live my life. In 5 minutes per day.   I’ve tried lots of different ways and I go through phases of journaling in the morning but I'm much more of an evening journaler, going over my day and finishing on a high. I do however ask myself every morning what i’m looking forward to and what i’m grateful for so it’s the same thing...just inside my head and not on paper!    Get out for a walk first thing or at lunchtime My favourite way to start the day is to take Mr Milo our rescue pup out for an hour and a half.  We go to the woods or down by the canal and I listen to audio books or podcasts OR listen to what’s going on around me and turn it into a mindful walk.    It’s amazing what you hear and see when you’re focusing on it. Lunchtime is another good time, particularly if you’re feeling like you’re lost your mojo a little bit.  It’s like a little mindset reset. Decide what works for you and do that.   Stretch or workout Now, I KNOW this is amazing and I was in a routine for 2 years with working out and I fell off the wagon so i’m going to be completely honest and say i’m getting back on it at the moment.    This is working out aside from my daily walking. I always do between 10-20,000 steps but I WANT to get back into more resistance training. I do however make sure I do some stretches in the bathroom every morning while I’m brushing my teeth.    Drink more water Oh my goodness when you start making sure you get enough water you will see how much not having enough has been affecting you.    I carry a big water bottle with me everywhere I go so it’s always there to remind me to drink. You’ll lose weight, feel clear headed, less groggy, less moody, your skin will look better.  It’s magic stuff that so many of us take for granted.   Batching your food for the week I don’t do this one because I'm lucky enough to have an incredible chef for a husband so I don’t need to think about it BUT, if I didn’t then the power of batching a few things and putting them in the freezer creates so much head space it’s unreal.    It makes you eat healthier too. I’ve done it in the past and it definitely makes a difference. One shop, half a day for batch cooking...done dealio! I do the same thing with batching content. The more similar tasks you can bundle together the less brain power it uses.   Meditation I don’t really need to say any more about this, we all know the incredible benefits meditation has.  So how can you get it into your routine. What’s a good time of the day for you? Morning? Evening? Lunchtime?    When do you KNOW you can fit in 5-10 minutes?  My favourite apps are Calm, Headspace and Omvana by Mindvalley.   How do you start your morning? I get up at 6am and my phone is NOT my alarm.  I have a watch that vibrates to wake me up. I make sure I don’t look at my phone until I’m ready for the day or out of the house.    I will watch something on Netflix if my Kindle has run out of juice while I get ready (ideally something positive or a documentary) but i’ll make sure notifications are on do not disturb from 9pm to 9am and I won’t check unless I really have to.   Like I mentioned, My first thoughts are ‘what are you grateful for today?’    I’ll have hot water and lemon or a cup of Earl Grey and have my breakfast.  I like to have a good 2 hours before I start work so I always start ready and raring to go, instead of flustered or overwhelmed.   How are you starting yours?  Coffee? The news? Instagram scroll into the comparison loop of doom? Checking emails?   How do you finish your day? I make sure I’m off any computers before 9pm.  I’m asleep by 10pm so usually I head to bed to write in my journal or read something so I give myself time to switch off.    No caffeine past 1pm.   TRY not to eat 3 hours before bedtime...unfortunately when someone else is lovingly cooking your meals this doesn’t always happen but that’s the ideal!   I also don’t drink much alcohol these days because it really affects my sleep and I can’t stand the ‘Hangxiety.’ If there’s a special occasion or something I really want to drink at i’ll plan my next day accordingly in advance to not have to be a super productive one ha!   What does your ideal day look like? You can’t expect to live it if you don’t know what it is.  So map it out from morning to going to bed. This will also help you with time blocking and batching similar tasks together and creating a structure for your day.   So, hopefully this has helped you see the power of creating a routine for yourself and all the ways it helps rather than hinders.  It’s not a way to imprison yourself or restrict yourself in a negative way, it’s all positive. Positive habits for your well being, head space, productivity, success and performance.    It's about making it as easy for yourself as you can to create the habits in the first place.   It’s a win win situation where you get to have your brain start to work FOR you rather than against you. Magic!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
September 23, 2019
Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways! Why self discipline is the key to success   How much self discipline do you have?   Not having self discipline will mean things take much longer to achieve, if you ever do!    It’s the difference between WANTING what you want and HAVING what you want.   In a world where the reward of instant gratification is everywhere, mastering self discipline is a key ingredient for success and happiness.     It lets you play the long game, make the right decisions, practice patience and resilience, all things that will get you well on your way to all the success you deserve.   When you look at, and listen to the stories of, the majority of truly successful people on the planet, in any field, what do you see?     Correct...high levels of self discipline!  It’s ingrained in their personalities.    So often we can look at these people and think ‘I wish that was me, I wish I could do that.’  BUT...few of us actually realise that you CAN!     Usually the main difference between them and you is self discipline.  Obviously there are other factors but for the most part that’s it!   It’s not just self discipline it’s self MASTERY and it’s a habit.   It’s one that even if you don’t have it now, if you want what you want badly enough then you can create it.   There is no magic pill i’m afraid.  All those ‘How do I do X, Y, Z’ hearing the answer, not liking it and looking elsewhere for another one, and another one and it will all go back to the same thing.  You have to have discipline, make the decision and talk back to your unconscious mind!    All those times you’ve wanted to do something but haven’t done it and been ruled by your unconscious programming...that’s where you need awareness and discipline to override it and start down the path of creating new behaviours and beliefs that are going to serve you more.     That IS the magic pill...and trust me, it really does feel like magic when you start to gain momentum.   It’s hard work but the pay off, and the reward for DOING the work is HUGE!     Think about how much extra headspace you’d create for yourself instead of constantly battling your inner voice, or to-ing and fro-ing over making a decision between what you want to do and what you know is best for you.   Those times where you’re getting frustrated with yourself get less and less and it actually becomes EASIER to just DO the thing and take the ACTION that will actually get you to where you want to be. It requires less effort.  It’s so often just about taking that first step, then another, then another to build momentum.    Your productivity will go through the roof when you can master self discipline.     Imagine what you could achieve if you were disciplined around all those little distractions that keep you ‘busy’.     I mean how much could you get done?  How much further along could you be? You really become unstoppable.   It’s the only way to break old and make new habits.      It BECOMES a habit in itself as you create new neural pathways for that behaviour.     You literally start to rewire your brain for self discipline, which means you’re also rewiring your brain for the greatest chance of success.     And, if you can master the habit in one area of your life you really can master it in all the others. Bonus!   In Napoleon Hill’s master key to riches, he spent countless hours studying the most successful people in the world (so he’s in a pretty good position to see the patterns!) and he says this, “The great master key to riches is nothing more or less than the self-discipline necessary to help you take full and complete possession of your own mind.”   Really ponder on that one!   So how do you cultivate self discipline?   Parent yourself!   One of my clients said it best, it’s about learning to parent yourself.     Think about it for a second.     What happens when little kids aren’t told what to do or pushed to do things that are good for them even when they don’t want to?     Do you think that broccoli would ever get eaten or that room decluttered and tidied?    No, right?!   So we need to have that same level of discipline with ourselves.   We’re always having conversations with that little voice in our heads so show it who's boss around here!    Know your weaknesses   Know your ‘weaknesses’ (ahem….doughnuts, I'm looking at you!) and limit your interaction with them.  Don’t make it harder for yourself. So what are they...certain foods? ‘Booze? Certain people? Situations?  Social media apps? How can you limit them? Out of sight, out of mind!   Make the decision   Make the decision between what you want more.  Staying where you are now or going through the discomfort of getting to where you could be?   Make the commitment to the changes you want to make.     Accountability   Create accountability however you can to keep you committed and motivated.It’s one of the many reasons I started the Proactive Pants Mastermind.  You need people to be accountable to and people to support you on this journey, you need skin in the game!   Goals   Be clear on and write down your goals and stick them up everywhere you can.    It’s amazing to me how many people don’t do this when the evidence to back it up as being the easiest way to actually achieve what you want!  It’s simple, doesn’t take long, gives you clarity and focus...it’s a winner all round. Do it!   5 second rule   Mel Robbins 5 second rule is my favourite way to create self discipline when your subconscious is battling you all the way at the beginning.     It’s super simple and super effective but it works with the right areas of the brain to allow habit forming in a much quicker time.     Simply count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move and you will soon get yourself started.  My trick is to do it as soon as I hear that little gremlin start to try and persuade me to do otherwise. Any longer and it’s much harder.   5-4-3-2-1, physically move and i’m going again.  I don’t wait ‘just one more minute’. My husband is a ‘snooze’ button person but i’m the polar opposite, that alarm goes off and I'm out of bed like a rocket.     I know if I give myself ‘just 5 more minutes’ I'm going to feel so much worse.  So I never do it. Alarm goes...i’m up and atem!    Prioritise and learn to say no.    Prioritising is a discipline all on it’s own.  Being able to look at what needs to be done and know what’s actually going to move the needle.  Knowing that you CAN say no to other people. It all comes with practice. If you’re a people pleaser right now, it doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way.  The first ‘no’ is the hardest and then it gets easier and easier.    Stop making excuses.    They’re success killers and they’re happiness killers.  Call yourself out on them.   Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.    Habits are formed in one part of the brain and your decisions are made from the CEO of your brain (The prefrontal cortex) so it’s no wonder you have a tug of war on your hands.     Recognise this and understand it’s normal and it will help you muster up the willpower to push the behaviour through to the basal ganglia where it will become something you do on autopilot.   Have courage and persistence regardless of what’s going on right now, even when you feel like quitting. Persistence IS self discipline.   Bribe yourself where possible!!     Reward yourself for your successes or for when you hit a goal.  The more rewards there are the easier it is to find that discipline. It can be anything, your favourite meal, a trip, jewellery.  I regularly bribe myself with ‘treats’, it’s fun! Trust me, I get a lot more done.   Be kind to yourself in the process.     It will feel difficult to start with, you will have set backs but self discipline is about being able to get back on that wagon and go again.  It takes time, so allow yourself some self compassion on the road to self discipline and celebrate every single win along the way!   You simply can’t change anything for yourself without a little self discipline.   So, where could be an easy win for you to start practicing?    Something as simple as going to bed 30 minutes earlier or reading instead of watching TV for the hour before bedtime.     Not snoozing the alarm clock.    Anything that requires a little bit of effort but you know the outcome is GOOD for you and moves you towards where and who you want to be.   Imagine if a little more self discipline allowed you to be just 1% more effective every day.  Where would you be in a years time?   When you do the work it essentially guarantees success.     You’ll get more done more quickly.    You’ll have a greater sense of self esteem, confidence and respect you won’t fear failure, you don’t fear judgement because you know your own worth and you realise their judgement is not about you.   You will actually LIKE yourself more! That's a biggie! No more beating yourself up for not doing things, you become your own coach and cheerleader in your own head.  Who wouldn’t want that hanging around with them everyday instead of the mean police in your own head!   So, who do you need to BE to achieve everything you want?   What habits do you need to have?     What personality traits do you need to have?     As I keep saying, who you are today doesn’t have to be who you are tomorrow.     So who do you WANT to be...go BE it! You’re the one in control, don’t forget it!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
September 16, 2019
How can you change your state quickly Show note links:   To get a £10 discount off your first Huel Order go here (Affiliate link!): https://huel.mention-me.com/me/referee/registerko/37204423/153450720/er/79b84772aa02c7f1190063db4fce50656ca13062/fe/cw?epr=1 For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Ever had those moments when you’re in a mood or you’re feeling tired but you need to get stuff done?  Or you just want to find your mojo and ‘snap’ out of it so you can get on with your day?   I thought so, it happens to all of us at some point right?     The trouble is, most of us aren’t aware of how much control we actually have over our own emotions and our own states so it’s easy to see how people can get a bit stuck.   One of the presuppositions of NLP is ‘There is no such thing as an unresourceful person, just unresourceful states!’  You have all the resources you could need, you just need to learn to access them and use them and not simply just accept things for ‘the way it is.’   When you’re in a negative place, or feeling tired and low energy, or just like you’ve lost your mojo...how does it affect your ability to do things?    How productive are you?  How hard does it feel to get fairly simple things done?   Wouldn’t it be great if you knew how you could quickly change your state so you can just get on?   Wouldn’t it be delightful to know you have that level of control over the way you feel?  To be more productive. Happier. In flow. Have more energy. And know you can be proactive about it!   Ohhhh yes, it’s possible!   There are resourceful states and unresourceful states. When you have a task to tackle think about what state you’d actually want or need to be in to be able to do it.   Do you need to be calm?  Positive? Full of energy?    So, to start with there are 3 key states of being.  Physical, Mental and Emotional. (There are technically 4, the 4th is spiritual but that’s a post all in itself, so for now I'm going to focus on the core 3)   The great thing is...If you change one, you change all of them.     So for example, if you change your physical state it will affect your emotional and mental state too. Cool right?     Changing your physical state is the quickest and easiest way to create change.     Another of the presuppositions of NLP to be aware of is ‘The mind and body are a linked system’.     So if you’re physically feeling a certain way it will affect your state of mind and vice versa.  Posture is a really good way to show this.   When you’re feeling down and a bit low what does your posture do and how does it make you feel?  When you’re happy or having fun what does your posture do and how does it make you feel?   The thing is, all these things aren’t just internal.  It’s what the world sees of you and what you put out there so it can affect how you are with other people and how they are with you!     What kind of people are you drawn to and away from based on their body language?  Do you instinctively know how their day is going just by looking at them?   Noticing these simple physiological changes you can make are a nice little way to learn to ‘trick’ your mind into believing you feel a different way so it then follows suit.     While I was starting my ‘transformation’ from Eeyore on a bad day if I found myself feeling negative and down and stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts I would just smile.  That sends all the signals to my brain that you’re happy and you feel an instant change.     In the same way when something emotional is going on for you it often manifests in physical symptoms.  Think stomach upsets when you’re nervous!   As I'm always saying, awareness is the first key to change.  So catch yourself in those moments where you’re not feeling at your best and make the decision to do something about it, KNOW you can change it if you choose to.   So what could you do to create a state change in practical terms?     There are a TONNE of different ways depending on the state you want to create.  Do you want to have more energy? Feel calm? Feel happier?   Here’s a few SUPER freaking easy ways you can do it (So easy you’ve probably heard them a million times and STILL don’t do them!), take pen to paper and come up with some of your own too!   Move Any movement will have a massive effect in the shortest time.  So go for a walk, yoga, do a Power pose, change your posture, get up and do some jumping jacks, dance, physically shake it off like you see animals do! What can you do to just get yourself moving?   Laugh Do the smile trick I mentioned, speak to a friend who never fails to make you laugh, Look at a social media account that makes you smile (for me it’s autocorrect fails and The Dodo...every time!)   Get in nature This you can combine with the walking if you like but I like to combine it with meditation, whether that’s walking or sitting in nature.  What you don’t want to do is start walking and playing the same negative thought patterns over and over. Change the focus of your thoughts and you’re onto a double whammy winner!   Gratitude This is a POWERFUL emotional state change and one I use regularly.  I start my day and end my day with Gratitude and if anything throws me out of whack during the day I ask myself what I'm grateful for.  There’s something to be grateful for even in negative situations.     Use anchors and visualise Take yourself back to a place where you felt the state you want to be in really strongly and take a moment to vividly remember it, remember what you smelled, saw, heard really imagine it as if you’re there. You can also get an NLP practitioner to set an anchor up for you where you have a physical way to access that state whenever you want!    Music Music is a GREAT way to change your state.  I have a different playlists for different moods and it works a treat. On the subject of music, belt out a song yourself.     Random acts of kindness I do this every day as I talk about a lot in my style of journaling.  But doing something nice for someone else is a sure fire way to make yourself (and them!) feel good, no matter what mood you were in before.  Even something as simple as a hug can change your state quickly!   Pay attention to what you’re eating and drinking This is a big one that’s often overlooked.  Your mood is SO linked to what you eat and drink...or don’t! Have you had enough water?  Do certain foods make you feel a certain way or zap your energy? Really have a look at that and start to be aware of what helps and what hinders.   There are a TONNE of other ways Meditation, go for a massage, use breathing techniques and so many more.   See what I mean by easy?  It’s so bloomin easy we forget to do it!   It was really highlighted for me at the training I was in in Frankfurt.  I’m amazed at how energised I was considering the lack of sleep and immense brain power I was having to use every day.  A few of these techniques were used throughout and the energy in the room was ALWAYS up there. It was so interesting to observe other people and myself.  Trust me, as someone who’s 8 hours per night are non negotiable I thought I'd be on the floor after 5 days of 7am-1am! Yeesh!      I hope this has made you think slightly differently about these kind of easy things that instinctively we do know will help us feel better and I hope it makes you want to use them but use them with AWARENESS of the difference they make in the moment.     If you want to feel confident, powerful, full of energy, calm, any state!  How could you use some of these to achieve that?    We forget that we have these incredible tools right at our fingertips to change how we feel at any moment.  It’s pretty magical!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
September 9, 2019
Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! What Happens When You Stretch Your Comfort Zone I always like to tell people how all the unicorns, rainbows and magic live outside your comfort zone, and I 100% know that to be true.    All the good stuff happens when you get over yourself and push yourself further than you thought you could go.   So i’m someone who knows this and consistently pushes myself outside my comfort zone, and something interesting happened this last week.   I’ve just returned from a 5 day speaker certification event in Frankfurt and I wanted to share a few things that I noticed while I was there.   The event and the course itself didn’t feel outside my comfort zone at all, I love this stuff.  Learning lights me on fire so I was excited to go and I'm more than happy to hold my own and speak to people I don’t know.    No problemmo (even that is awesome to say because I used to be exactly the opposite!)   However, there were a few little things along the way where I hadn’t really appreciated the significance of it beforehand.   A time for firsts!   First of all, it was my first course like this that was outside of the UK.     I would normally always say no to those.    It was a pattern, automatic habit where my brain would say no.     It was just a fact to me that I wouldn’t do it.  I’d look at the pitch with disappointment and no thought of how I could actually make it happen or the fact that if I were to just challenge it, it was totally rubbish that it was out of my reach.   I have never been a very good ‘traveller’ to the point that I have ever been abroad on my own.  It was something that just wasn’t ‘me’.     I have always found the process of getting to the airport, getting through security, finding the gate and takeoff incredibly stressful so i’ve avoided it.     I never went travelling and would avoid anywhere that didn’t have a direct flight. The whole thing just totally outside my comfort zone.     So to say I was even going in the first place was a big thing for me.     I still invested thousands to go even though my pesky inner voice was telling me not to and decided I would just have to figure it out.   Logistics!   So, then I booked the flight, found the hotel, got myself to the plane and off I went!  I was so proud of myself...even at 35 years old ha!   Another couple of people in the same group as me were on the same flight, I had met them before but didn’t know them, and usually this would have given me a huge sense of relief, someone to cling to so I didn't have to worry.    Observations and promises lead to good stuff    So it was really interesting to observe my thoughts, and I was a tiny bit disappointed that I wasn’t going the whole hog on my own.   Not because I didn’t want to be with the people i’d met.   I felt like I'd cheated myself out of a growth and learning experience a bit.   I made a promise to myself to consistently get myself out of my comfort zone for the duration of the trip.   All too easy   The thing that was so interesting about this for me was just how easy it is for us to cheat ourselves out of those experiences that will make us grow.   This leads me onto my next point about surrounding yourself with people who expect more from you and for you.  Those who make it impossible to creep back to old patterns and always move you forwards, effortlessly.   I definitely surrounded myself with the right people for the remainder of the trip and my comfort zone was non existent by the end.   Be a front row person   I consider myself a confident, assertive person who is more than happy to get uncomfortable.  I thought I was always making sure I was doing getting outside my comfort zone.     This week made me realise all the times, that seemed unimportant at the time, I was cheating myself out of growth.   This trip, I became a front row person!   I’ve always sort of judged the people that hang around early waiting for the doors to open at conferences.  That then run to the front, stick their hands up to ask or answer questions, that dance on the stage at the breaks. But I hadn’t thought about why.   At school we called them ‘Gary get-involveds.’ It was seen as a negative to be a ‘keen bean’, that it was ‘un-cool’ in some way so it shouldn’t be done if you want to be liked and accepted.   Well...this week I became one ha!    I was with two wonderful creatures Carla and Melissa who pushed me to be more, by proxy got me to notice and then challenge my judgement and to realise a few things I hadn’t really noticed.   Be a Gary Get-involved!   The people who have the biggest breakthroughs, the people who were having the most fun and gaining the most insights were the people who were willing to get involved, like ALL IN involved, just by grabbing my hand and getting me to sit in the front row.  That’s all they did for me to have all these realisations ha!   It was so gloriously simple and profound all at the same time.   So when on day 2 we met up with another glorious creature Sarah who had been sat somewhere in the middle of the room it got even more interesting.   She was a little more like me.     More of a ‘few rows back, towards the middle is fine’ kind of person.     It would have been very easy to slip back into patterns and I could avoid the front row and go back to the comfort of not having to get involved.  But then the magic happened. I realised and recognised my thoughts and I encouraged her to be a front row person too. For the rest of our time there we were ALL front row people.     Now I was a fully fledged front row person but I wasn’t quite yet a dance on stage person, I didn’t feel I had to be at this point.     Carla had been training through all the breaks to lead the crowd in the ‘wake up’ dance routine to get the energy in the room up, and on the last day we were coming back in the room and I heard her on the mic.   Without a second thought when she said ‘I need some dancers on stage please’ I was up there.  In front of almost 400 people.    Literally not a second thought.  I also had a great time. The importance of people on the same path   We met up with so many people on the same path all with the same goals and every one of us talked about how amazing it was to have those kind of deep conversations you can’t really have with a lot of people outside of that kind of environment.   Do they give or take energy   We’d been doing 7am-2am most nights in training, we were exhausted, we finished on the Sunday at 9.30 pm.  A group of us went for dinner and all of a sudden it was 3am...and we could have carried on talking. The other message here is who you surround yourself with can either give you or take away energy!!   Look at your circle   So, look at who you surround yourself with right now.  It’s really easy to listen to the quote ‘you’re the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with’ and agree but not really do anything about it.     Until you really, truly see it in practice you just don’t see the huge significance of the truth of that statement.   I really see it in my mastermind too.  When other people have wins and successes people push for them more themselves.  It raises you up just by being around it. If you see people being negative it brings you down, right?   If you are surrounded by people who don’t push you outside your comfort zone, who actively encourage you to not get out of it, or who pull you back into old habits you’re trying to get out of, or make it too easy for you to stay comfortable then what do you think is going to happen?   If you surround yourself with the people who do the opposite, who drag you up with them, who support you no matter what and encourage you to be more.  What do you think is going to happen?   Make that decision for yourself.  Look at who you surround yourself with and recognise the patterns where it’s easy for you to slip back and play small.     It doesn’t mean go cull all your friends or anything drastic.  It means notice who pushes you to be more (in a positive way, not beating you over the head and telling you you aren’t good enough ha!!) and who doesn’t.  You can always learn to love people from a distance. It’s about who you do and don’t have business conversations with.    Another example would be if you want to change any area of your life like health for example, surround yourself with people with higher standards of health for themselves.     The yogis, the runners, the people who eat clean and don’t arrange dinner with the people who are going to suggest Five guys and make you feel bad for wanting to eat healthier.   It’s not about you, it’s about them.     It was really noticeable for me when I wanted to drink less.  There were people who just didn’t want to meet up anymore.     It’s really easy to take that personally, but it’s really not personal.     You simply highlight something in them that they don’t want to look at.     That’s fine, they don’t have to.  But it is something that comes with personal growth.  You’ll pull people up with you and others will get left behind but that’s their choice.    Of course it feels uncomfortable, it’s kind of exactly what it means to go outside of your comfort zone!  But when you’re around people who lift you up and force you to grow...what does that mean for your life?   So where in your life can you see this happening?     Where can you become aware of that little inner voice that is trying to hold you back?     What are you going to choose to change?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
September 2, 2019
Are You Being Yourself? Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Are you being truly yourself?   This is an important topic at the moment with so much noise in the online business space.   I recently did a post on Instagram,if you’re not following me over there you may rectify that now @franexcellcoach ;-) and it really seemed to hit a nerve with people.   It was about how much I used to care about what other people thought of me.  I put so much importance on it I struggled to be myself, and it got me nothing but unhappiness in all honesty.     When I started to really own exactly who I was, my quirks, my foibles, the fact that I love singing Disney way too much for a 35 year old, that I would be the definition of a crazy dog lady, that my obsession with inspirational quotes on things is out of control and I allowed myself to just absolutely 100% me with a ‘take me or leave me, either one is cool’ kind of attitude life became immeasurable better.    I’ve said before, you can’t be liked by everyone and that’s ok!   So how does that relate to your business?   Firstly, there’s too many cookie cutter carbon copies in the industry and the only way you’re going to stand out is if you do things your way, from your perspective, with your expertise.     It can be scary when someone asks what your secret sauce is, what makes you different and you have NO clue! But this is where you have to do the work.  Ask the hard questions of yourself.   When you’re 100% yourself trust is built far more quickly.  People want to have an emotional connection with you, and that is built through trust.     Trust can take time to build and be gone in a second so the best way to grow it and keep it is to always be authentic to who you are and act with integrity.     People will feel it and it will build deep connections with people resonating with your message, but not just your message, YOU, who you are.  If you get caught out in a little white lie it can be gone for good.   The next benefit of being yourself is you’ll draw the right people to you.  I’ve spoken about this before. You want to draw people with shared values to you, and repel the people who just aren’t for you. You can only do that by operating from your own values, your own belief systems and thought processes.   Next up, you won’t feel like a fraud.  This is a big one. Ask yourself if you feel like an imposter because you’re kind of being one!     Subconsciously you will always sabotage yourself because deep down you know you’re not being completely honest.   The next benefit of really being yourself is everything will feel so much easier and way less stressful! You can breathe a sigh of relief.    It can be super scary I get it, the fear of judgement is REAL people!  However, if you can really grasp that not everyone can love you and that’s ok, that being yourself is the best way to be to build relationships and let go of that fear of being judged (because I hate to tell you it’s gonna happen!) it’s absolutely freeing.   Work with your strengths AND weaknesses   People WILL feel it when you’re not yourself. Their ‘spidey senses’ will be firing on all cylinders. Think about how you feel when you suspect someone isn’t being completely honest or themselves. How does it make you feel towards them?   Take inspiration from other people sure, but find your spin on it.  If you copy in any way you will get found out.     There’s just been a VERY big influencer who has been caught out in a lot of content ‘stealing’ where he was taking other people’s quotes and passing them off as his own, same for his video content, and his halo has unfortunately well and truly slipped.    You can’t build a business based solely on someone else’s knowledge, you’ll always be a step behind, you will never be ‘them’ so you’ll just be chasing your tail, just don’t do it to yourself, it’s not worth it.   Think about the longevity of your business. Is it sustainable to run a business that way?  Probably not!     There are of course other potential consequences if you’re not being yourself and your service doesn’t match up to your message.     Your clients won’t get the results they’re expecting and you will have disappointed customers.  Which means potential refunds. Which means potential negative reviews, and you can very quickly get a bad reputation, which of course will affect your ability to make money, and have a business at all!   You will be attracting the wrong people to work with you! You will have people who are not actually in line with your values and your beliefs and that can get you into a pickle with nightmare clients.   You won’t actually be putting yourself out there in a big way anyway because you’ll feel like an impostor and be terrified if someone were to ask you a question you couldn’t answer….oh my!  So isn;t it a big waste of time anyway?   This stuff applies through all areas of your life!     By not being yourself you could end up in the wrong relationship, the wrong job, the wrong friendships, all with things that are totally out of line with who you are, your values and your personality...You don;t want that do you?!    It takes away anything about you that is unique.   People want to feel like they’re dealing with genuine people and creating an authentic connection so let them see that from you.     THAT’S how you’ll stand out. You can’t create that for yourself without BEING yourself.   The bottom line is, if you’re not being completely yourself you simply won’t be happy in the long run and will take up valuable energy and head space in the process.   So, have a think, how can you inject a little more YOU into your business?   What quirks do you have that could be exactly what someone loves about you?   What experiences have you had that have shaped who you are today that other people could relate to and resonate with?   Just remember, YOU are your own super power! YOU are your own ‘secret sauce’...no one else!    If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
August 26, 2019
Are you using the resources you already have? Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Are you using the resources that you currently already have, to get to where you want to be?   Or are you stuck in a loop of reading all the books, taking all the courses, going to all the events, taking all the advice and yet nothing is really changing?   Most of us have been there at some point.    So what’s going on here?!     If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I love a weight loss analogy because I’ve struggled BIG time in that area AND it’s something EVERYONE seems to be able to relate to.   So, you want to lose weight, you’re buying all the shakes, the programmes, the apps, reading the books, looking for the next big thing, researching the latest fad diet saying THIS is going to be the one that works for me, yet…things stay exactly the same.     Or, you do it for a few days here and there and then when you don’t see results straight away you go searching for another answer because that one didn’t ‘work’ for you.   You’re looking for that one thing that’s going to FINALLY work for you.   Newsflash...You’re looking for answers that you already have!   And you know it!   What’s the answer in this weight loss analogy?     Eat less, move more.  Simple. Timeless. Fact.   Make it into a lifestyle change not a short term thing.     We ALL know this, yet...the majority of us aren’t doing it and continue to struggle!   Why?   That’s a good question.   Firstly, can you be 100% honest with yourself and say that you’re actually using the resources you already have?     By resources I mean information, people, experts, courses, books etc.  Means to solve the problem that you have that are currently in your possession in some way.   So often I see people asking for MORE answers to questions they already have the answer to.   Someone will ask me a question and i’ll ask if they did the thing we spoke about before to solve it...the answer is usually no!   So what’s going on?!   There’s a couple of things to think about here.  Also, worth noting, it doesn't mean there is anything ‘wrong’ with you at all if you do this, it’s not about beating yourself up for it, it’s about working out WHY so you can actually move forward!  We’ve all done it at some point, no one is immune to it...yes, including me!   So, are you actually being a bit lazy or impatient?  Perhaps it’s just not a priority for you, you say you want it but in reality, you don’t really, or you don’t want it ENOUGH!     You’re not really invested in making it happen.  Or you subconsciously want where you’re at now MORE than you actually want what’s on the other side of taking action.   I see this VERY often.  Usually people who have been building a business because it’s something they knew they technically COULD do, but it wasn’t necessarily a passion for them or what they WANTED to do.  Not something they have a bigger reason for doing that will motivate them to move in the right direction.   Or...is there actually something even bigger at play that’s stopping you taking action?   Is there a mindset gremlin keeping you in the ‘learning zone’ and not letting you get into the ‘action zone’ because there’s an underlying fear of something?  Failure? Success? Not being good enough? Judgement? That fear that if this actually works you;ll have to follow through?!   It’s likely you’re in one camp or the other!     You can have all the strategy you like. You can know exactly what to do, then those mindset gremlins start to creep in, but they can be quiet and bloomin subtle at times so they can be difficult to spot keeping you in the time sucking ‘loop of inaction’...but you THINK you’re taking action because you’re looking for answers and you’re ‘busy’.     You’re spending time researching, consuming content, making a plan.     Looks like you’re taking action right?  Are you actually following through and implementing though?     That’s what you’ve got to look out for.   So let’s try and work out a little of what’s going on here.    When you think about taking the action and then don’t, or go searching for another answer, what thoughts come up?   What is the ‘thing’ that actually stops you?   Are you telling yourself you don’t know enough?     That you aren’t GOOD enough?    That you just need to learn this one more thing and THEN you’ll take action...when in fact the answer to getting what you want has been staring you in the face all along!   I want you to really have a think about what resources you already have at your disposal and write them down and give yourself a score out of 10 for how much you;re actually using them.   An online course that teaches exactly the thing you’re specifically struggling with, but you haven’t prioritised the time to go through it.  So you’re telling yourself it hasn’t worked, then you spend time looking for other answers elsewhere…oh the irony!   Is it a coach or mentor that you have that you’re not actually being 100% honest with and making excuses about a lack of time or money or whatever else you’re saying you NEED before you take action.    Is it a paid membership or group programme but you’ve never actually logged into the platform...all the information you’re looking for is right there for you!   Is it a friend you’ve been complaining to who’s giving you the answer to solve your problem but you’re just not listening?   Really think about these questions because they’re important to help you identify those pesky thoughts and beliefs that are blocking you taking action right now.   When your unconscious mind is running the show self awareness is one of the MOST important tools in your toolkit.     If you don’t know what’s going on in there then it’s SO easy to get stuck, go into the spiral of ‘what’s wrong with me’ and then plummet into the deep dark pit of self loathing.   We’ve all been there, I  was the WORST for it...for most of my life, trust me...I feel your pain!   I’m also helping to give you the solution, it’s your choice if you take it or not.   Self awareness and self responsibility are a magic combination when it comes to your success and getting what you want from life.  They can be hard to look at sure, but isn’t it worth the pay off?     So what resources do you currently have that you’re just not using that could drive you forwards.  Look at it in the cold light of day and start to challenge yourself over why you’re not using it.     What could happen for you if you did?   What will happen if you don’t!   Catch yourself in those moments where you’re searching for an answer you know deep down you already have and get curious.   Write out those resources and put in a goal to spend some time actually going through it and really using it...what’s the worst that can happen?     If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
August 14, 2019
Are The Beliefs Holding You Back Even Yours?   Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Are The Beliefs Holding You Back Even Yours?   Are the beliefs you hold so tightly onto, even yours?   Are you thinking, what are you banging on about, of course my beliefs are mine?!   Well, We’re actually born with just two innate fears.  Just two.   Falling, and loud noises.  You can see how they’re designed to keep us safe and...alive!   All the others are picked up along the way through your own experiences, people in a position of authority or caregivers, society, TV, friends, environment, movies, the list goes on.   Silly example for you but think about it.  When you were young, how did you learn that ghosts and monsters were something to be feared?     Or today, that being thin is ‘better’ than being fat?  Ask someone who lived a couple of centuries ago and the opposite was true!   So why does all this matter in the first place?   Well, when 95-99% of everything you do is run by your unconscious, if you’re running your life from beliefs and programming that isn’t even yours and are now your absolute beliefs, your absolute truths…why would you even think to challenge them?    So you’ll continue to let them hold you back, without even realising they are.    The brain is always searching for ‘meaning’ and patterns that make things make sense and forming beliefs is how it does this, it will then consistently gather the evidence that supports it, whether it’s a belief that serves you or limits you it doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t distinguish between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ it just likes to deal in it’s own ‘facts.’     This is how your beliefs shape your reality.   It’s why we’re attracted to certain people, shared values which are essentially beliefs. Consistent reinforcement on a daily basis!   But if these beliefs are limiting your thinking and therefore your actions in any way, it’s easy to see how they can hold you back and keep you stuck in stucksville without an obvious way forward.   Your brain will actively seek out the evidence that your belief is truth, and actively ignore evidence to the contrary.   Your beliefs are often formed by other people’s ‘opinions’ which are formed from their beliefs.  Opinions about you, other people, the world, what’s right and wrong.   Have a think about what core beliefs you were taught growing up.  By your parents, your friends, teachers, family members, tv, advertising.   Your beliefs around success, money, what it means to run a business, friendships, yourself and your own abilities, any area of your life right now where you feel held back.   Beliefs are there to keep you safe. They give you a level of stability, even if they aren’t actually serving you.     It’s your normal, your comfort zone.  It’s how YOU make sense of the world around you...and in your own head! It’s why sometimes something can feel so obvious to you but someone else just can’t seem to ‘get’ it.  Because they are running things from their own sets of beliefs.   In short, your beliefs dictate your emotions, thoughts and therefore, your actions as your brain works to always provide the evidence to back them up for you...how kind of it!  Which of course…all dictates your results!   And a huge amount of them were formed when you were just a child...so they could be due an update!   Shift that needle from limiting to empowering!   The thing is, MOST people don’t or won’t do this, so you’re already a step ahead by being here.   If you’re not getting the results you want in your life or your business at the moment, take a look at your thoughts and beliefs!   So, what would happen if you changed some of those beliefs?  What doors and opportunities could open up for you?   Isn’t it freeing to know that you can disprove them if you choose to? Change them if you choose to?  Allow them to help you rather than hinder? To know that how things are right now doesn’t even have to be how they are tomorrow?   I mean wowzers, look how much power you have over your own life just by challenging a few thoughts and beliefs that you’ve been hanging onto...majority of which aren’t even yours in the first place!?   So here’s an exercise for you.     Question yourself about the beliefs that hold you back, write them down, challenge them, are they really true?     Where did they come from in the first place?     What evidence do you already have that proves them not to be true that you just hadn’t noticed?     What’s a more accurate belief that will serve you going forward?    You can find out what they are in so many ways but a really easy way is to do a ‘finish the sentence’ exercise.  So, for example if you want to find your beliefs around being successful you can start with; When I’m successful it means… I can’t be successful because… Success is…   Allow your subconscious to come up with the answers by saying it out loud and just letting it flow.   Then the fun bit is challenging them and finding your new ones.    What’s a more helpful belief?    This game can be SO useful in so many ways.  It can help you with finding your values, it can help with finding the next step you need to take.  It’s allowing you to get your brain to work WITH you.      Write down your new beliefs, stick them on your wall in plain sight, turn them into your affirmations, do whatever you need to do to ingrain them into that unconscious mind of yours so you can create new habits, which lead to new actions and new results!   It also makes you more aware to the fact that beliefs aren’t necessarily true and there COULD be another way, or a different belief that will serve you better…so you start to think that way naturally.     You start to question the stories you’re telling yourself and whether they’re true.     You’re no longer stuck in the stuckness!     You analyse things differently, question things differently, use the part of the brain for problem solving rather than just shutting it down.     Think about what that could open up for you?  Think about the difference that could make to your life and your business?  Think of all the things you’d try or do that you wouldn’t have normally…and all those NEW results you could get!   Liberating right!??   When you change a belief, everything can change!  And if you want my help, you know where I am ;-)
August 12, 2019
How To Avoid No Shows And Being Ghosted! Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! How To Avoid No Shows And Being Ghosted! Have you ever had someone be a no show to a discovery call?     Or agree to sign up to your services to then just ghost you afterwards never to be heard from again, or even one step further, blocking you? Yet you have NO idea what you’ve done?   I’m willing to bet you have. It’s shockingly common.   You very probably did absolutely nothing.   It’s unfortunately part and parcel of having your own business that there will be the odd no show but it's really important not to take it to heart.   I see time and time again people feeling like it’s their ‘fault’ or something they’ve done that has caused it and it can lead to that dreaded fear of rejection, so what happens?  They don’t put themselves out there in the first place, and then what? No clients. All because of something that was completely not their fault.   I’m talking about the genuine, never to be seen again, just couldn’t be bothered to show up kind of instances!   It can feel pretty rubbish...AND it’s also incredibly irritating to have someone disrespect you and your time that way.     It happens.     BUT there are plenty of things that can be put in place to minimise it so i’m going to go through a few of them for you.   Make sure your content attracts and repels at the same time. Yep, you want it to attract the RIGHT people and repel the WRONG ones.     So you want to only get people on the phone who get you, what you’re about, are clear on your values and how you help because like attracts like.     You repel people by making sure you talk about what you don’t agree with, or any strong opinions that you have, what you think is right and wrong, all sorts of things where people will either go ‘yeeeeeah I love what she’s about’ or ‘urgh, can’t get on board.’    Both are great, yes really!     Have a think about how you can start bringing these things into your message to make sure you attract people who are already on your wavelength and repel the people who aren’t for you.   Schedule in particular days and times in your week that you will accept discovery calls so you’re not context switching. The most annoying thing about sitting there and waiting for someone to show up is if it ‘interrupts’ your day in some way.     I only have a limited number of spots to speak to people and they are at particular times of the day, only on certain days.     I protect my time as best I can so that if someone doesn’t show up, it doesn’t throw my day out of whack too much.     Doesn’t mean it’s not annoying, I find it rude big time, but it definitely helps take the sting out and doesn’t have too much of an effect on my day.   Pre qualify with your calendar link and a questionnaire. I’m constantly tweaking this and making changes but when you book in a call with me there are a series of questions to answer and boxes to tick to make sure you’re clear on all the information.   So, are they clear of where and when the call is?     Are they clear that the call is to make sure you’re both a good fit for each other?     Are they clear of the time (and time zone!)?   Make it as clear as possible and set some boundaries early on, it will certainly weed out the people who aren’t committed.   Go have a look at mine HERE...and if you’re ready to book a call then fill it in and click send ha!   Have your prices readily available for them to see before the call There are many schools of thought here about displaying prices.  I’m all for it myself.     They aren’t on my website  at the moment but they are on my form.  It needs to be what’s right for you.     I personally don’t want to feel like I need to ‘persuade’ someone to work with me so I make the price range clear in my form I want them to be ready.   It’s also how I buy myself.  If I don’t know the price in advance it actively puts me off.     For me, if they know my prices in advance then they are going into it with eyes open and it’s the final piece of the puzzle to working with someone, rather than the first.     Yes there are some people who won’t book in because of the ‘I can’t afford it’ gremlin that may have converted on the call, but it’s just not my bag to be honest.  I want people to be ready and excited to make the commitment to change their lives. You do what’s right for you.   Charge a refundable fee I don’t do this right now but that’s not to say I won’t in the future because I do think it’s a great way to get a commitment from people.     There are plenty of scheduling/calendar software apps that can integrate with stripe or paypal etc.   People just don’t value what they get for free and this is a way to get them to put a little more skin in the game.   Automated reminders If you’re using a scheduling software like Calendly make sure you turn the reminders on.     I personally set mine 30 minutes before the call because it’s enough time, if they’ve forgotten, to pop me an email to say ‘I’m really sorry, my bad, can we reschedule’.     It’s not ideal but life happens and i’m super understanding of that.  We’re juggling lots of plates and these things happen.    You can set them to the day before, 10 minutes before or all of them!  You do what’s right for you.   But for me if someone has seen a reminder and STILL doesn’t show up...then it’s a lucky escape because that wouldn’t be an ‘ideal’ client in the long run.    The next thing to talk about is people who say yes on the phone...and then disappear of the face of the planet.  The dreaded ‘Ghosters’. Urgh!   It’s happened to me, it happens to most people at some point and it feels horrible.   There are a few ways to hopefully avoid this too.   Take payment over the phone This is the number one way to avoid ghosters.     It’s really easy once someone has said yes to get off the phone, and while they’re waiting for everything to come through, for the buyers remorse gremlin to sneak in.    Again, it happens.   If this happens and for whatever reason payment hasn’t been sorted over the phone then I will chase once, possible twice and call it out if it’s appropriate and see if I can help (always based on the conversation and rapport we’ve built up previously) BUT if they don’t reply, then again, they aren’t an ‘ideal’ client in the first place.   See it as a lucky escape I’ve mentioned this already.     You don’t want to work with the wrong people.     People who don’t share your values or ethics.  It really is a lucky escape.   Nobody wants a flakey client, they just aren;t committed to getting results.   Remember it’s not about you. It really isn’t.     Please, please don’t allow it to discourage you.   Let it allow you to tweak your process and move on quickly.    If you can take on board and implement even a few of these strategies or ways of thinking then it will make a huge difference.    Be careful what you tolerate, you’re showing people it’s ok to be treated that way.     If you’ve been the ‘no show’ or the ‘ghost’ to someone before I really hope this makes you think twice about doing it again.     This certainly isn’t designed to ‘shame’ in any way.     It’s designed to highlight, so you can hopefully make a better choice in the future and appreciate what it might be like on the other side of your actions.      Or maybe you even want to reach out with an explanation or an apology…who knows?! Stranger things have happened.     At the end of the day, people are very understanding on the most part.  Life happens. Gremlins sneak in. Remorse sets in. Fear sets in. Sometimes we just don’t know what to do so we freeze.     Allow the person on the other side to help you make the right decision for you, or just give them some time in their day back and respect that we’re all in the same boat and we’re all in this together.     We can drag each other down, or build each other up.     I know which camp i’d rather be in.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
August 5, 2019
How To Simplify Your Business Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Stop over complicating things in your business.  It really is time to simplify a few things.   One of the biggest things I see holding business owners back, is over complicating things that could be a LOT easier if we just looked at them a slightly different way.   There are a huge amount of people out there selling tools, strategies, techniques, software etc all promising to be THE thing you need that will finally make stuff happen in your business.     They make it seem sooooo easy.   Then we get them all, and end up overwhelmed and not implementing any of it and in a worse place than we were before we got them.     It’s not your fault.  We’re bombarded with clever and manipulative sales messages everywhere we look that make us feel, and believe, that without this ONE THING, we either don’t have a business or it’s just never going to work.   No wonder so many people come to me feeling overwhelmed, anxious and completely unsure how to turn it around.     Everything is so bloomin over complicated!   So where are YOU over complicating things and in need of a little simplifying?   So, I wanted to put together a few ‘thinking’ points for you to go through that might give you a little ‘a ha’ moment for where you could simplify things for yourself, and a few ideas that could work for YOU!   We’re all different at the end of the day.  The thing that works well for one person may not for you.  But there is always another way.     Another way to look at things, another way to think about things, another way to DO things that may not be obvious on your own that can clear your head space, increase your productivity and make you take action on things that have previously been holding you back.     I’ll start with one of my favourites, and one that is always a game changer for my clients….and it’s super simple! Bonus!   Schedule your day!  Instead of feeling like you need to be in a million places at once, doing a million things, how would it feel to have a structure that you follow so you always know what you’re focusing on at that moment?  You get to do that! (Why multitasking is a myth)    A time for emails, and the rest of the time you have an auto responder on so you don’t feel you have to reply in that instant.    A particular time and day of the week for client calls, admin, learning, sales. It makes life so much more simple, frees up time and gives you a structure so you’re not always fighting fires.   Analyse and set up processes. Do you have processes in your business like above?    What is your process for getting people on a call?  Is it a fumbly ‘when are you free’ situation that takes several emails to work out a time...or do you have a simple link you can send with your availability and the client can choose.  I use Calendly but there are plenty of other auto schedulers to look at.   Have a look at the common tasks in your business and see if there is a more simple way to achieve the same result, in less time ideally!   Two heads are better than one. The amount of times you’re looking at something and just can’t see the woods for the trees, and someone comes along and simply says ‘have you thought about doing it this way’, and you kick yourself at how bloomin obvious the answer was.   Yeah, that!    How much time and stress could you save yourself if you’d had that conversation sooner?     Get an accountability buddy, paid membership groups, a mastermind or a coach and save yourself the time and heartache!    It’s one of the many reasons I structure my Proactive Pants Mastermind like I do, you’re literally never more than a few days away from solving a problem that you could potentially spend weeks or months agonising over otherwise! (you can join The Proactive Pants Mastermind HERE)   Outsourcing.   I know I bang on about this but honestly it’s such a game changer, and often not as expensive as you’d think. Would you rather make an investment of your time or money?  Which is the priority?   Here are a few of my favourite things to outsource that made a real difference to me.     I got an accountant and invested in Quickbooks  (there are other tools so choose which is right for you) . I mean...every receipt I get is just emailed over and stored so end of year accounts are a doddle.  I’ve got a system set up where everything is SO much easier and I save SO much time.   My VA is a dream.  There are certain tasks she does for me every month and they just get done!  It’s amazing. She follows a process and everything is done how I like it and I don’t even need to think about it.    Think about personal things too, where can you save time?  Cleaner? Getting your shopping delivered instead of going to the shop itself (the £5 you spend on delivery will MORE than be covered by you not hovering down the Ben and Jerry’s aisle!) Plus they save your list for next time so it eventually even takes most of the thought process out of it.  DREAMY AGAIN!   What tasks could YOU outsource?   How do you currently get clients?   Over complicated funnels? Slogging your guts out in other peoples Facebook groups? Spray and pray opt ins?  Have you looked over your low hanging fruit? Is there anyone you could simply reach out to that you may have spoken before?     All these methods have their merits for sure, but the quickest and easiest way in my opinion is to consistently analyse who the most active members of your community are, who you’ve spoken to before, asking for referrals and going to in person events and talking about what you do.    Re-purposing  Re-purposing content is a game changer.  It’s a HUGE time saver and also creates a cohesive message.  People will have their own preferred platform to consume your content on so you don’t want them to miss anything.  There are a tonne of ways that you can re-purpose across multiple platforms already.     For example, Instagram can go to your Facebook page and twitter.    Have a look at your current content and see how else you could use it.  I create one core piece of content every week and have ways to promote it for a whole year across audio, video, written and images.     One piece of content creates around 30-35 pieces of content across multiple platforms, without me having to spend all my time there!   Automation.   That leads me nicely onto automation.   What in your business is currently labour intensive that you can automate?    Batching. My FAVOURITE along with re-purposing. Batching similar tasks together ensures you can get into ‘the zone’.  The less you context switch, the more you get done, and the easier it feels.  So, what can you batch together? Content creation? Interviews? Client calls?  Discovery calls? Personal admin tasks? Learning?   The world is your oyster so have a look at your own business and see what comes up for you.   Look at your packages or services  Is there anything you can combine or let go of so there’s a clear pathway for your customer?   Do one or two things really well.  There’s nothing to stop you introducing more as you master things.  Don’t confuse your clients. 'Confused minds don’t buy'! Increase your focus and get one thing bang on first.   So, what are you telling yourself you HAVE to do in order to have a successful business...do you really HAVE to do it?  Is there an easier or simpler way?   What change would have the biggest impact in the shortest amount of time.  What I like to call the low hanging fruit.   It’s so easy when the answer is often right in front of our face to not be able to see the woods for the trees.    We are bombarded with so many different messages it’s easy to get lost, do what we’re told, and not go against the grain and look for another way.   It’s time for this to stop.  There are too many overwhelmed people stuck in inaction when it doesn’t have to be that way.  It’s about looking at things another way and consciously LOOKING for that other way that will make the difference.  We tell ourselves it SHOULD be complicated, difficult, hard because the pay off can be so huge. The reality is it doesn’t. It’s time to simplify.    ‘Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated’ - Confucius   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
July 29, 2019
Take Time Off...Guilt Free! Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Take Time Off...Guilt Free! How much guilt free joy do you have in your life right now? Or even just time for yourself?   Considering how many clients and people that I meet ask me how to have it, i’m guessing you’d say not enough right now.   Most of the time, when we’re in a job and enjoying holidays and weekends completely off, we actually put plans in and feel nothing but excited to follow through with them.    Doing what we know will make us happy.     We know (more often than not) that we can really switch off and there is zero guilt involved, it’s what you’re SUPPOSED to do with your time off, right?   Easy peasy!   We don’t get that in our businesses in the same way because it’s our ‘baby’.  We’re the authority and subordinate all at the same time!   We aren’t governed by the usual 9-5 situation.  We don’t have anyone giving us those boundaries, telling us when is ‘work’ time and when is ‘play’ time.     So it’s really easy to NOT switch off.  To NOT find the time for the things that we love and to feel like we have to be on alert at ALL TIMES...unless we give OURSELVES permission to.   All of a sudden we feel like ALL time should be work time.  That hustle mentality creeps in and we’re doing 16 hour days.  It can be especially bad when you feel you aren’t making the money that you want to just yet.   It’s a bad habit to get into, not just for your business but for your health! And one that will stick.  Everytime you catch yourself saying things like ‘It’s just until I hit 6 figures, then I can take time for me’.  No no my friend...it won’t happen!     There’s always that next goal, that next milestone, you will have created a habit that’s hard to get out of and completely unnecessary.     It’s GOOD for your business for you to take time for the things you love.  Start as you mean to go on. Don’t wait ‘until’!    We feel like we should be ‘on’ all the time, boundaries go out the window, we feel stressed, tired, negative, frustrated...and we’ve all of a sudden lost that thing that was one of the main reasons we started a business in the first place.    That freedom.  That time spent with loved ones.  That time spent doing MORE of the things we love, not LESS!   There are SO many reasons why it’s important to make sure you’re a) taking time for yourself to do the things you love and b) Doing things that bring you pure joy.  AND do it guilt free!   When you can get your head around why it’s necessary it’s a great start to actually making it happen.  AND why taking some time for you doesn’t mean you’ll make less money. It will just make you more strategic with your time and your schedule.   You need that break to clear your head!  When you’re constantly thinking and using your brain you are using up SO much energy and it just isn’t sustainable in the long term.  The brain uses about 20% of the bodies energy and it’s only accounts for about 2% of the mass, so that gives you an idea just how much energy it needs.   You’ll head straight towards burnout, not show up as your best self for loved ones OR your clients, decisions will feel harder and problems will seem so much bigger than they actually are.   How often have you had a stint of hard work, felt exhausted, then taking a day or two off has made you come back more productive, more happy, more motivated and more clear headed?  Full of ideas!   Taking a break actually INCREASES productivity, motivation, problem solving and creativity, it builds your resilience up too.  The bottom line is your brain needs to rest, and you need to be able to feel fulfilled!     By taking time for you I don’t mean watching Netflix.  I mean doing something that you’re going to love. Something that will bring you joy.  Something that will energise you. Something creative, yoga, dancing, singing, making jewellery, walking, trampolining, paddle boarding, sailing...you get the idea! Hobbies rather than chores or numbing!   You can create and maintain your boundaries in your business that allow for, and structure around, you having time to do the things you love.    If you schedule the time in and prepare yourself so the guilt isn’t there, there’s nothing hanging over you.     Which means it’s going to happen.     So how can you prepare? My favourite is to put an auto responder on so you’re not panicking about emails.     Fit the rest of your work around what you have scheduled in.  Whether it’s a walk or exercise every morning, a holiday or date night once per week...schedule when you start and finish your day to allow for it    Let clients know and they won’t be expecting a response at those times.   This is why i love doing the ‘ideal day’ exercise with clients.  If you know what you want from your days and weeks it’s SO much more likely you’ll actually get it!   If you’re not finding time to do the things that bring you joy, what’s the point?  Seriously?! If you’re always in work mode, not having time for the things and people you love, then what are you doing it for?   One word that comes up time and time again is that it’s ‘selfish’.     I would counter argue that until the cows came home.     How are you going to show up for loved ones when you’re stressed and mentally drained?  How are you going to show up for your clients, the people that are actually paying you for your service!     If you don’t give your clients the best service you possibly can, where are those awesome testimonials coming from?     NOT taking time for you CAN directly affect your bottom line.   Plus, you’ll procrastinate and WASTE time by not taking it.  So you may as well have some fun right?!   Ask yourself what stories you’re telling yourself about what it means if you take time for yourself, or to do something you love, or spend time with people you love.   Then work out what you actually want to do!     Take some time to go back over your life and think about things you loved doing but let go at some point.   So what can you do that you love?  What brings you joy? What hobbies did you love as a teenager before you cared what people thought?   I’ve been really intentional about doing more of this lately and I love it and feel such a difference.   I just spent 3 days and nights camping at a festival.  I felt very nostalgic about it. Firstly because when I was a child we didn’t go abroad, we did staycations and often went camping, and I had the best time!   My Dad was a teacher in a private school and he also helped head up the CCF (combined cadet force) and ran lots of ‘outdoorsy’ excursions and I used to go along for the ride.  I was a really outdoorsy kid and I completely lost that part of myself when I became a teenager and this stuff wasn’t cool and I put FAR too much importance on what other people thought.     So i’m getting back in touch with it, I even went paddle boarding at the weekend.     We used to go camping, caving, kayaking, rock climbing, rock pooling in cornwall, hiking, fishing, cycling, all sorts.     I actually also just bought a glorious vintage Chloe Raleigh racing bike.  I need to clean her up a bit and then i’m ready to go and i’m really looking forward to it!   You make time for the things you prioritise. So make it a priority.     YOU are your biggest investment.   Make it non negotiable.   Make time for the things you love.  It’s good for the brain, good for productivity, good for your health, good for your mental health and good for the soul so there really is nothing to feel guilty about!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
July 22, 2019
Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! What are your secondary gains?   What are your secondary gains for staying in a negative situation or behaviour pattern?   What are the positive paybacks for your negative situation?  If you’re really struggling to get out of it then it’s highly likely there is a secondary gain to you NOT getting out of it.   So, let’s start with...what is a secondary gain?   It’s when you have a behaviour, thought pattern or something that causes a perceived negative emotion that you consciously want to stop, avoid or get away from but there is an unconscious gain for staying with that behaviour.   For example, You moan to friends about a particular situation and they give you sympathy.     You perceive the situation you’re in to be a negative BUT by staying there you get sympathy and validation that you’re in the right.     Or, you’re overwhelmed or procrastinating in your business, so you don’t take the action towards something that you have fear around (success, failure, judgement) so then the overwhelm and procrastination is rewarded because it stops you from taking the action that would move you towards fear (the irony is moving towards it is the quickest way for it to go away!)    It can even be a physiological response.  The mind and body are a linked system so in it’s misguided attempt to keep yourself your brain can actually cause a physiological change.  It could be illness, tiredness, anxiety or a whole host of potential symptoms. Something that it knows will cause you to not do the thing you want to.   For example, you don’t want to go to a networking event that’s outside your comfort zone so you feel unwell, have tummy troubles or those familiar feelings of anxiety bubble up...or something along those lines.  (There’s a reason your gut is called your second brain!)   It shows up in all the ‘I’ll do X once Y happens’ moments too.  You have a reason to not do Y because then you won’t have any more excuses to not do X!!     For example, i’ll start going live in my group once I have a certain number of people in there.    Then you sabotage your efforts to grow your group because actually you have a fear around being visible and a fear or anxiety around going live.   So, by not growing your group, you don’t have to go live!   So essentially, secondary gains are all the benefits you get from NOT solving the problem you say you want to solve.     It’s positive payback for staying stuck that gets consistently reinforced. It’s often associated with illness, pain and anxiety in medical studies.    Urgh! Our minds can be confusing right?   It allows you to make all the excuses that stop you moving forwards, and then you wonder why you’re so stuck.   Are you starting to see any areas where you might be doing this?   This is something we all do and something we all have within us, there is no shame in it.  There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you.     However, once you can identify the patterns and the secondary gains it becomes conscious.  You can’t ‘un-know’ it.     Which means you can consciously catch yourself in it and choose to do something about it.   The reality is, as much as we SAY we want change, change is uncomfortable.  It’s scary. It’s venturing into the unknown. The uncertain. It’s outside of our comfort zones.     It’s more comfortable in our KNOWN discomfort, than the UNKNOWN discomfort of the change itself.   So, have a think about all those times you’re doing or not doing something where other people, and often you, can see exactly the ‘obvious’ ways around it but you just aren’t doing the things that will get you to the other side.  Ask yourself what your secondary gain is?   Watch out for Victim or Martyr mentality because it will absolutely keep you stuck.  But you can see where the positive pay back might be from both! Ohhhh the validation!   It’s difficult because you’ll get fulfilment of some need.     Avoidance of something.     Permission to not do something you know will move you forwards.    Getting what you want.    Connection from others.     NOT having to connect with others.     There are TONNES of secondary gains that can hide under the surface that need to be identified.   All reasons where we might actually, unconsciously (usually!) want to stay right where we are.     We are being REWARDED for it!    We’re sending our brains the message that staying there gets us what we want, therefore reinforcing it.     So why would you try to get out of it?   Also, where are you making the negative element/behaviour/thought pattern a part of your identity?     For example, where are you telling yourself you are a certain way and that’s ‘just the way it is’ or ‘just the way’ you are.    Do you call yourself a worrier?  A procrastinator?    Do you make the behaviour you’d love to change a part of your identity with ‘I am’ statements?   When your brain is always trying to make you right can you see how this is a problem?     Can you see that by making something a part of your identity you’re telling yourself it’s unchangeable?    That it allows you to make all the excuses you want so that you don’t HAVE to change?  Whether you consciously say you want it or not.   The same applies for simply being in a bad mood.  What positive payback do you have for staying there?   Do you get to sushi roll in the duvet and watch Netflix and not have to deal with the situation?  That’s a pretty positive payback when the new season of Stranger Things is out!   If you’ve been following me for any length of time you’ll know that I believe you have a choice, well I KNOW you have a choice.     However, sometimes it feels like you don’t.  That’s where you need to ask yourself the right questions.   What do I gain from this?   Once you work that out then you have the awareness to then be able to do what’s right for you.   Another thing to think about is what you might LOSE when you do, or get, what you’re working towards.  What are you telling yourself that that means for you and your life?   There are so many reasons we like to hold onto our excuses, our reasons, our beliefs that keep us stuck.     Most of which we are COMPLETELY unaware of consciously.  Once you ARE aware of them. It’s decision time.    If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
July 15, 2019
Stop Saying 'I Can’t Afford It!' Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Stop saying you can’t afford it   There are two things we need to stop telling ourselves that I see come up time and time again.  The ‘I can’t afford it’, and the ‘I don’t have time’ chat.   I’ve talked about this in previous episodes but I wanted to delve a little deeper into this and why it’s so important we stop telling ourselves this.   Firstly, you tell yourself that you can’t afford it or you don’t have time...your brain says OK then and sends you all the evidence for it to be true and none to the contrary.    It’s not going to be searching for any thoughts or ideas to help you solve the issue, it’s just going to agree with what you say.  Thats its job.    This then means that it becomes a fact, so why would you ever challenge it?!    But it’s not a fact, at all. What’s the reality?   The reality is we can always find both time and money...if it’s enough of a priority!   Ok, this isn’t going to be true 100% of the time and there are circumstances of course where it is the reality BUT in the vast MAJORITY of cases this is completely and utterly true.  I’ve seen it and done it myself time and time and time again.   It’s a scarcity mindset and using powerful language where you already feel defeated, so where’s that going to get you?!   It’s not going to help you look for solutions or problem solve.  So you don’t buy or do the thing you want to. When the reality is there may have been a way for you to. Switch up the language   Saying I can’t afford it takes away your control and responsibility in the situation.    Understand more often than not it’s not actually the truth at all, but a CHOICE.   Instead of I can’t afford it ask ‘how can I afford it?’   I’ve said these phrases SO many times to myself and when I stopped, reframed and asked myself different questions a whole life of opportunity opened up.     I’m not trapped by that mentality anymore, I just find a way to make it happen. I mean, there have been moments when i’ve looked at something for £30 and told myself I couldn’t afford it or can’t ‘justify’ it right now but then spent £5k on a qualification or a course.    Can you think of an example where that’s true?  It’s about perceived value and priorities.   I’ve invested more in myself in the last 6 months than ever before, and i’ve invested heavily in my own development over the last 5 years on things that at first glance I probably can’t afford.    I stopped playing the victim and took control over my own destiny back.     There’s so much guilt and shame associated with not being able to afford something.     There’s so much of being the martyr involved in I don’t have time.    Both have huge negative connotations.  A lack of control. But also positive payback.    There’s a whole other episode for me to do on positive payback and secondary gains but for now just start to get really honest with yourself.    What positive payback do you get for saying I can’t afford it or I don’t have time?  Do you get sympathy from other people? Do you get to play superwoman?     There’s no judgement here, i’ve done it all!     Once you have that honesty with yourself, you REALLY have that honesty with yourself and you can’t hide from it!     You can’t unlearn it and you CAN start to call yourself out on your own BS, challenge it and also take back that control over your choices and get out of victim mode.   So many of us engage in mindless spending where we don’t even think about it.  But what would happen if you were more mindful about what goes where?     Now, i’ve already got you covered with how to find more time in your day with this episode HERE.     So, how can you afford something you told yourself you can’t?   First of all, work out how much of a priority it really is! What does it bring to your life?     What problem or pain would it take away from your life? Is it actually a priority at all, is it something you actually need?   To be SUPER clear, I’m not a financial manager and I can’t give you ‘advice’ over what to do so all I can do is tell you from my own experience how i’ve afforded things I couldn’t technically afford before, then it’s up to you to come up with your own ideas and make the right decision based on your own circumstances ;-)  Sell things you no longer want/use   Marie Kondo the sniz out of your home and anything that doesn’t ‘spark joy’ allow it to give you the joy of pennies by selling it on ebay, facebook marketplace or any other online selling thingy of your choice. (I’ve never used them so can’t speak from experience but gumtree, shpock are another couple to look at!)   When I moved from London to Kent about 6 years ago I made about £2k doing this and inviting friends round to my ‘bedroom shop.’  There may or may not have been wine involved in these events, I couldn’t possibly comment. But they were fun, I got pennies in my pocket and they got a great deal, win win. I do this on the regular, it’s fun plus it takes away some of my ‘It’s still got the tag on’ guilt.   Use the compound effect.     The compound effect is where small things add up to a big thing over time. (that’s the cliff notes for you!) It’s that ripple effect of the choices you make and this can definitely be attributed to finance.    Every month I downloaded my bank and credit card statements, put it all in one spreadsheet and looked for any ‘mindless spending’.     For me this was eating out.  YIKES. It’s sobering when you see it all laid out right in front of you how much it adds up to over a month.     If you’re still in your job, think about those coffees or chai lattes you get every morning.  Call them £2.50 per day, 5 days per week, that’s £650 in a year.     Say you grab your lunch on the go instead of making it in advance.  Call it £8 per day. That’s over £2000 in a year!! You can see how it all adds up.   What if you were putting that in the piggy bank instead...just saying! If it stays in your bank account it will get spent, so put it aside!   Another way to achieve this is to save a percentage of your income into a separate pot, or bank account, that is used specifically for the things you tell yourself you can’t afford.    Over time this will feel like it’s grown effortlessly.  (If you’re reading and telling yourself you can’t afford to save any of your income right now, check yourself and ask yourself if it’s really true!) Your expenses tend to grow and shrink in line with your income and what’s in your bank account gets spent.   If it’s not there it doesn’t.    Interest free credit cards   Now, I’m going to be suuuuuuuuuuuuper clear here that I do NOT advocate going into debt, this is me purely talking from my own experiences.  I would NEVER do this if I was already in debt personally I just use it as a great way of buying something up front that I can pay off over time and not be charged extra for it!  I would always make sure I KNOW I can make monthly payments too. This is not a good option if you don’t have that covered.   Put out an offer or flash sale   If you already have a business, already have an audience...what can you sell them? Don’t discount to the point that it looks too good to be true and actually puts people off, or offer it on something other people have paid far more for because that’s going to cause upset from previous clients.  What can you think of to sell as a one off that could get some spondoolies in your pocket quickly? Power hour session with you? A course? Get your thinking cap on, you could even ask your audience what they want!   Also, don’t forget to look down the back of the sofa and check your PPI ha!    There are a TONNE of things you can do if you just ask yourself better questions.  How CAN I afford this? How COULD I find time?   Be honest with yourself about your priorities. If it’s not a priority that’s cool, no worries! Move on.  If it really is you WILL find a way!    If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
July 8, 2019
How To Overcome Resistance. Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   That feeling of resistance you feel when you’re starting to go outside your comfort zone is inevitable.  But you CAN overcome it.   It’s part of the process.     Right now it probably feels like a heavy, negative feeling, full of emotion and all the things you’re making it mean.  All the negative thoughts of ‘who are you to do this’ and ‘you think someone would actually pay you THAT?’    Not only allll the thoughts, but all the distractions and excuses.  All the ways you can NOT actually do the things you’re trying to.   The fear, the overwhelm, the blame, the excuses, the overthinking everything, the second guessing and doubting yourself.   It’s that icky transition stage between where you’re at right now and where you’re going.   It feels like an internal tug of war with part of you wanting to do something and another part literally doing everything in its power to stop you...but they’re both you!    But is it REALLY you?    Understand this isn’t actually you just having a negative dialogue with a really freaking mean person in your own head.   It’s part of the process of your brains misguided attempt to keep you safe. It’s afraid of change and trying to keep you where you are so you don’t try to change anymore.   That’s its goal, for things to go back to exactly how they were.   It’s heavily linked to your unconscious beliefs and thought habits.  So, if your conscious mind is saying ‘I want to do this’ but your unconscious is saying ‘hang on a minute you don’t believe you’re good enough to actually do this so i’ll remind you of that with all the thoughts that are going to stop you even trying’.  You then have an internal battle on your hands.   You have a case of resistance.   Then it becomes harder and harder to actually get things done, procrastination is ruling your business, and you get more and more frustrated with yourself because you just can’t understand why you’re not doing the things you know would help drive you forwards!   Annoying right?!   So how do you overcome resistance?   Firstly, accept that resistance is an inevitable part of growth.   You’re certainly not the first and won’t be the last person to experience it.  We all struggle with it from time to time.     No matter what stage of your business you’re at.  New level, new devil.   There’s no magic pill that makes it go away. So don’t beat yourself up when you do feel it and allow yourself to LEARN from it.    It’s more of a case of learning to recognise resistance, and then asking it to dance and you deciding who leads.   Awareness, as with anything, is the first key to changing it.     Recognising and acknowledging that’s what’s going on is the quickest way to push through it.  From there you get to choose and make the decision to (in the words of Nike…) Just do it!   Just the awareness and acknowledgement of it takes away its emotional power over you and puts the control back in your hands.    Exercise   I have an exercise for you.  Pick one task or goal that you know you need or want to do but just can’t seem to get yourself to.    Write it down.  Now, list ALL the reasons you can’t do it.  Keep going until you can’t think of any more.     Look at the list.  Now I want you to pretend you’re in a debate with someone else and come up with all the counter ways those things aren’t true.    Then pick out the core beliefs that you feel the most emotional draw to, that feel the most real to you and write the opposite of that to create a new, more empowering belief...that’s STILL realistic so you BELIEVE it and don’t just discount it.   So for example let’s take the age old ‘I don’t have time’.  Your NEW belief becomes ‘I always find time for the things that are important to me’.   Believable, true, can’t really be argued with ...consciously or unconsciously!   Change the focus   Take the focus away from the resistance to why you’re doing what you’re doing.  Losing sight of that all important reason you’re even doing it in the first place is a sure fire way to make it louder!   This is another reason that CLEAR and MEASURABLE goals are important.  It needs to be compelling enough and have an emotional drive to keep up that motivation.  That big vision you have, get as super clear on exactly what it looks like as you possibly can.  Consistently remind your brain what you want, why you want it, what it looks like and what’s possible.   On the contrary, when you focus on the resistance the good old ‘what you focus on grows’ takes hold and that becomes the dominating force and what you’re essentially telling your brain to give you more evidence for.  When you consciously shift the focus from that, to what it is your aiming for, the big vision. Then it will start to work WITH you to make that happen.   The way you think things are, are the way they WILL be.  It’s a self perpetuating cycle that you’re training your brain into.   Check in with your values   Make sure what you’re doing in line with your values.  Is this resistance to change in general and stepping outside of your comfort zone, or are you actually doing something that doesn’t sit right with you?   Change the voice.   When we’re listening to that inner mean voice it will take on the form of a particular person.     Some people hear it as their own voice, some people hear it in the voice of a critical parent or family member.  Just start to notice it, then literally change the voice!    Imagine Micky mouse or Donald duck saying those things to you.  Would it have such an emotional hold?     Would you be able to argue back to it more easily?  Even laugh it off?     This process again breaks that emotional connection which is a big driver for keeping you stuck.  It takes away that mean little voice’s power so you can consciously challenge what it’s saying.   My favourite book on the subject is Steven Pressfield's, The war of art. (Affiliate link) It's aimed specifically at writers but it really applies to anyone trying to achieve anything big and out of their comfort zone.   When you can push through the resistance, there is good news! Right on the other side of resistance is usually a breakthrough or some kind.  A new skill, an uplevel, a limiting belief being broken. When you can start to see resistance as a GOOD thing, it becomes that much easier to deal with!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
July 1, 2019
Where are you delaying your success? Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Where are you delaying your success?   Where are you delaying your success? Right now? In this moment!  I bet you there’s somewhere!   Now, my last episode was all about the power of patience so you might be thinking, hang on...you said to be patient and now it sounds like you’re telling me to hurry up?!   Quite the contrary.   Patience is an AMAZING business and life tool and you can listen to the episode to see the benefits.   Not delaying your success is absolutely NOT about ‘rushing’ it, let me be super clear on that.     As per the previous episode rushing is where things start to go wrong and mistakes can be made.  Don’t deny yourself the lessons you learn on the journey, they’re important.   It’s about identifying key areas where the process is taking longer than it actually needs to. It’s about looking at what you’re doing and seeing if there is a quicker, more efficient way to do it.   Looking at all those ways you’re potentially holding yourself back or slowing yourself down for whatever reason, where, if there were a couple of tweaks in productivity and mindset, you could actually move along to where you’re aiming to go that much quicker.  A few things to think about and ways you might be delaying your success   How many things are you focused on right now? When you’re focused on a million things at the same time how far do you actually get with each one?  If you’re constantly feeling busy but feeling like you’re not really getting anywhere this is something to really have a look at. I love the bridge analogy. Where you are, if you’re building several bridges at once you never get to the other side.  If you concentrate on one bridge you get to where you’re going that much faster. (Listen to How To Focus)   Where are you letting fear dominate? Are you putting off the scary, overwhelming tasks? When you feel yourself putting off a particular task ask yourself, ‘what am I afraid of?’.  I like to encourage clients to do the big, scary, out of your comfort zone tasks because it’s the fastest way to grow. So what are you putting off at the moment? (Related Episodes: Fear, Fear of Success, Fear of Judgement, Fear of Failure)   Where are you overthinking or over complicating? Oh this is a big one.Simplify, simplify, simplify.  If you can’t see where you can then work with a coach or join a mastermind (you can look at mine HERE) to get someone else's perspective.  Often someone else giving you another way of doing things is a HUGE time saver.  Take a step back and have a look and see where you might be doing this. (Related Episodes: Overthinking)   Are you winging it? Winging it is the ultimate way you might be delaying your success.  If you don’t have a solid plan or goals in place then you’ll be doing a bit here, and a bit there, but never really getting anywhere.  There are SO many reasons to make sure your goals are in place and I have a previous episode on how to set goals that work for YOU. You can see how easy it could be to SEEM like you’re working towards your business but winging it can feel overwhelming, over complicated, frustrating, BUSY and like you’re not really moving. (Related Episodes: Goals that work for you)   Where are you wasting precious time that you don’t need to? Where could you outsource but you’re not? Often the irony is we think we don’t have time to outsource...but honestly, while it may take a moment to show someone how you like something done, you only need to do it once! Next time you do a task write it down on a google doc or on something like process street and then you’re ready to outsource! Put a monetary value on your time and then you’ll see how much cheaper it is in the long run to outsource those tasks.  Stay in your zone of genius as much as you can.(Related Episodes: How to find time)   You’re not getting a second opinion, you’re too close to it to see another perspective. One of my favourite things about my Proactive Pants Mastermind is those penny drop moments where you can see a visible shift, like a weight lifting, purely from having another perspective.     Or another way of thinking about or looking at something.  That little idea from someone else's perspective that makes a massive difference to someone's business, headspace, bottom line etc.     It’s pure magic.  Don’t deny yourself that by staying in the weeds by yourself.  It’s no fun there at all.   You’re not selling and assuming people know how they can work with you. Do I really need to say any more about this one?     People need things spelling out for them.  Give them a call to action, whether it’s ‘book in a call’, ‘Click here’, ‘subscribe’.  Tell them where to go.     It takes people on average to see a message 7 times before they buy. Make it easy for them...By the way you can book in a call to talk to me about working one on one and get my eyes on YOUR mindset gremlins or join us in my Proactive Pants Mastermind where you’re never more than a few days away from solving a problem and you get stuff DONE!    The link is in the show notes and on my website which is www.franexcell.com See what I did there? Just in case!   You’re only looking at the strategy and not what’s going on in your noggin. I’ve said this time and again.  You can have all the strategy in the world but if you’ve got an unconscious belief that causes you to sabotage your efforts you’re wasting your time, effort, energy and money.  Go to the source and sort that part out FIRST! (Related Episodes: Top Mindset Gremlins, Self sabotage) You’re rushing and spending on things you don’t need yet, leaving not enough left over for things that you could really use right now! I was super guilty of this.     I think I had every online course under the sun on every platform etc...before i’d even actually really thought about what I WANTED my business to look like.     I rushed ahead, thought I needed to be on every platform because I listened to the online BS and spent a load of money and wasted a load of time learning things that just aren’t part of my business now. Go back to my point about focus! (Related Episodes: Shiny Object Syndrome)   You’re not investing in yourself as a priority. It’s pretty easy to invest in something that teaches you something very specific or has a very tangible outcome.  It’s not as easy to invest in the thing that could potentially give you the biggest return. You!    I believe it’s an important step to take, firstly to sort out the underlying mindset gremlin shenanigans that will hold you back and make all the strategy you invest in not work...but also to have that exchange.     When you’re asking people to invest in you but you haven’t done it yourself it makes it so much harder.  Investing in yourself and your mindset can drastically shortcut your success.     You’re trying to do it all on your own. Two heads are better than one right?     It’s too easy to get stuck in the weeds on your own. Find your biz besties, a coach or a mastermind group or even a VA or online business manager so you have somewhere to turn when you most need it.  This will again, DRASTICALLY shortcut your success.   So, there are a few things for you to think about.    Don’t obsess over the final destination and make sure you’re enjoying the journey of getting there, but don’t delay getting there unnecessarily.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx
June 24, 2019
Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard!   Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways! Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard!   Patience is a virtue right? It is. But it can also be so damn hard to practice! Patience is something we tend to need in droves when we’re making any big changes or starting or running a business...but it can be one of the hardest things that we do. Go figure!   Now please! We want it to happen NOW, NOW, NOW! Many people also lose patience on the journey and give up, often just before a break through. There’s a great Thomas Edison quote to emphasise this, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.” Coming from the person who also said “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work” I really think it’s an opinion worth listening to. Being patient means that we have to accept that we’re living in a moment of uncertainty and when our brains loooove certainty it can make it feel very difficult.   Impatience is a big issue! In the last few years I've really seen impatience being a big issue for business owners, and anyone trying to make a big change too of course. Think weight loss, new morning routines, diet, exercise, all the things where we know what to do to make the change but we don’t stick to it because it feels too hard. So take fad diets for example because I always love a weight loss analogy! So, you lose the weight really quickly through sacrificing certain foods or restricting calories, does it ever actually stay off? Whereas, if you lose it slow and steady over time and create a lifestyle change that actually works for you, you incorporate exercise that you actually enjoy and it allows your unconscious habits to catch up with you, does it stay off then? Which process feels better?   There's a little more to it But, here’s the thing, it’s not JUST because you’re frustrated at the time it takes for your business to grow. You’re frustrated at what you’re making it MEAN that it’s taking so long for your business to grow. So...what are you making it MEAN to you that you’re not growing as fast as other people say you should? That you’re not good enough? That you’re not cut out for this? That other people are better than you and judging you for not being further ahead? Listen to those pesky little thoughts and catch them so you can challenge them, because they’re not true! Nothing has any meaning except for the meaning you give it.   It's not your fault! We’re constantly bombarded with the ‘how I made 6 figures in 6 months and I can teach you my exact steps’ (If you’re not sure how I feel about then head HERE) so we’re seeing how ‘doable’ it is. Other people have done it right? Apart from all the steps that may have been missed out, the different backgrounds, circumstances etc etc. DOH! So, because of these messages, we’re expecting that in 6 short months we’re going to be making 6 figures in our brand new business, and if we don’t we’ve failed. So, hang on, you’re expecting to be able to understand business, marketing, your message, your niche, your ideal client, what products you want to sell, test everything, create your brand, your content, know how you want to work, actually work with people so you have testimonials, build a reputation, tame all the mindset gremlins you’ve had since you were a child, not to mention all the other things you need to learn or create, and make 6 figures...all in 6 months?? With no help??   Impatience can be the killer of dreams! Impatience clouds your judgement, increases your frustration (which is the biggest driver of quitting!) and makes the mindset gremlins go crazy! ‘Why haven’t YOU done it yet, other people have’. ‘Why aren’t you where they are? They must be better.’ It can really cause you to self sabotage and not make the best decisions for you. It can cause you to be impulsive...and I don’t mean in the romantic oooooh i’m being ‘spontaneous’ kind of way! Great things take time. Give yourself that. I’ve seen a lot of people rush a launch or a new business or new product not feeling prepared and sabotaging their efforts.   It's a habit Remember, as with so much else, patience is a habit. One you can learn and increase over time. Practice makes perfect. So how do you become more patient? You practice it! It allows us to be far more mindful, always good when making decisions, and another great way to practice it! Patience also allows us to let go of the attachment to the outcome. It allows us to trust more that things ARE going to happen in the right way at the right time. It helps us be FAR more resilient too. We learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable!   Patience leads to the good stuff! Practising patience also means you’ll take on the right opportunities, the right clients for you. It also means those ‘too good to be true’ opportunities will be far more considered and analysed for what they really are...good marketing. It allows you to take the time to be more analytical, question things more, look at them from all angles and tweak things as you go along. Rather than rushing in with both feet saying ‘I WANT A MEMBERSHIP’ and setting it up, getting people in there and then realising you’ve created the opposite of the freedom you were aiming for. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a membership, it just means you take the time to make sure it’s what you really want and set up in a way that fits what you want for your life. Being patient doesn’t mean you’re not taking action, quite the opposite. When you can take action, let go of the attachment to the result and know that your efforts will pay off then THAT is a powerful position to be in. It’s also a lot more fun!   Stop with all the pushing So often we PUSH PUSH PUSH trying to get to the end result. Pushing is the definition of something being moved further AWAY. So what if you just stopped pushing and actually enjoyed the journey? The push and hustle doesn’t feel good. We’re not celebrating our successes. We’re not taking the time to analyse and tweak. It’s stressful, it’s frustrating, it knocks our confidence!   How you can practice There are two things I find really helpful in practising patience. One is understanding how we learn new things. Understanding why it’s so hard to make a change. (Go HERE for more on that!) And also learning and practising reframing. Being able to be mindful and ask yourself what you can do about the situation, what’s a potential GOOD thing about the situation and how else COULD you look at it? These things take time. It takes our unconscious minds time to form new habits and catch up with what our conscious wants to do. It takes time to learn all the things you need to learn. It takes time to know how you REALLY want to run your business, who you want to work with and what works for you. Stop giving yourself a hard time for not getting where you want to be in record time. It’ll just stop you enjoying the journey. Allow yourself the permission for it to take time and know that you’re exactly where you need to be right now. If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! Fx
June 17, 2019
Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   Where are you learning but not DOING?   Where are you stuck in learning mode, paralised in inaction by the ‘I don’t know enough yet’ gremlin?   If you know that’s you, don’t panic.   I can identify with this one BIG time, as a constant collector of qualifications who’s obsessed with learning more and more and more.   I have spent a small fortune on my education and continue to do so.   I would say I spend the majority of my time learning.     I LOVE it.  I’d go as far as to say i’m a little obsessed with it.   However, I realised a few years ago that I was completely stuck in constant learning mode, and not implementing much of ANYTHING, just carrying it around in my noggin.     So I went on my own little ‘journey of self discovery’ to work out why, what was behind it, what was REALLY stopping me taking action, in favour of learning even more...and how can identify it next time to make sure I don’t stay stuck in it.   My ‘learning’ story   Most of our ‘programming’ happens before were even 7 years old so it can be helpful to take a look back and see if anything happened of any significance at that time that could explain or cause certain belief systems that we then carry with us into adulthood.   Because, when you have a belief, why would you challenge it?  It’s fact right?   So, when I was young I always believed that I was the ‘stupid’ one out of my brother and I.     He’s 3 years older than me.  Oh I had the street smarts and common sense for sure, I was the creative one.  But he’s a through and through academic, and I thought this was ‘better’ because that’s what the school system teaches us right?     His capacity for learning is second to none.  I’ve lost count of the amount of languages he can speak, and complicated things he can pick up in the blink of an eye.   I was different.   I was pretty jealous too I guess.  Everything seemed to come so easily for him on that front.   He’s 3 years older and I always felt inferior and felt that I struggled with the academic stuff.     Which actually wasn’t true (we found my old school reports to prove it ha!), it was just a story I told myself repeatedly that became true for me.     I continued to tell myself this even in the face of good exam results.  He was a straight A, A* student and I was more of a solid B. A if I applied myself and C when I just wasn’t interested in the subject.   This story of not being clever, and not being ‘good’ at learning followed me through life.     I would stick to ‘my’ subjects and not go anywhere near the ‘clever’ subjects. I wouldn’t put myself in a position where I had to.   I wouldn’t go on the holidays with friends that would require me to learn anything, even if it would be fun! Think PADI diving and skiing.   I just wouldn’t do it because this unconscious story I held on to was SO strong.   I HATED exams.  I still do to this day (why I keep putting myself in the situation to take them I don’t know ha!) the mere mention of the word and my anxiety comes up along with mr procrastinator gremlin, and when it’s self study I can take a really long time to complete qualifications despite having completed all the material.     It’s a pattern I recognise in myself now.  If a qualification doesn’t have a bit of a time limit on achieving it then I’ll keep putting it off so I need to make sure my goals are rock solid to make sure I actually do it.   I told myself I didn’t ‘like’ learning (I mean...WTF?!) and I wasn’t ‘good’ at it.     Can you see how all this held me back?   Now, I like to be good at everything so often I used to shy away from things I didn’t think i’d be very good at.     Now, however, those are often the things I chuck myself at because I KNOW I can learn them if I choose to.   The next thing that happened once I identified this pattern, and challenged it for the absolute lie it was, is that learning became my favourite thing to do.     For my birthday this year I attended 2 3 day back to back seminars….for fun!   I’m like a sponge in the subjects i’m interested in.   So that’s all cool and you can see how important it is to identify these beliefs and patterns and how easy it is for them to keep you completely and utterly stuck.   But the difficulty comes when you love learning something, BUT you can very easily get stuck in the mode of ‘I don’t know enough’ when it comes to your business and you keep consuming and consuming knowledge as if it’s a GOOD thing.     And on the one hand it is!   On the other hand, if you constantly feel you don’t know ‘enough’ you’re never going to take ACTION and actually IMPLEMENT what you learn!   You get stuck in consumption mode, and I really need to watch myself because this is a big thing for me too.   And what happens then?  You’re still stuck!!   The REAL knowledge COMES from implementing.   What can you do to actually implement what you learn right now?   Where can you identify right now that you might be doing this?   What’s the underlying fear or belief that is keeping you from taking the action now?   Where could you be if you did?   When you recognise current behaviour and identify the unconscious patterns and beliefs you can challenge them, change them, catch yourself in the habit and choose to change it.     Identify that fear and challenge it, identify the belief and challenge it, then take the action!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
June 10, 2019
Find YOUR Way To Run Your Business!   Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   Find YOUR way to run your business!   Find YOUR way to run your own business.     Are you running and marketing your business based on the ‘exact 10 steps’ someone else used?     Or using techniques with an energy of ‘this doesn’t feel right’ but doing it anyway because it’s worked for other people?     How’s it working out for you?   Recently I attended a 3 day workshop to complete a diploma in internet marketing (even though I have a Bsc degree in communications, 15 years experience in media and over 2 years in my own business...but my ‘need’ for pieces of paper to validate my knowledge is a story for another day and another episode ha!) I left feeling totally flat, and a little miffed to be honest.   For a long time the online marketing ‘tactics’ have been bothering me.     I see more and more, the ways in which people try to manipulate, hard sell and let’s be honest downright ‘dupe’.   The ‘live’ webinars that aren’t live, even down to pretending you can chat to the host...but for some reason there must be a bug when you use it.   All the times you see ‘I know I shouldn’t do this BUT’ posts *enters another funnel.   The #vulnerability and thinly veiled sales pitches in groups...we all see you!   The countdown timers that just start counting down again and the offer doesn’t ‘disappear’.   The affiliate marketing for some seriously shady products.  Rule of thumb...if you don’t want to put your name or your face to it, you probably shouldn’t be selling it!   The ‘we had so many people say they missed the deadline so we’ve reopened for 24 more hours’ or ‘we’ve literally JUST come up with this payment plan and reopening for 24 more hours’.   Suggesting to affiliate for systems you’ve never used, programmes you’ve never been through, without a care in the world for the people at the other end who buy.   A lot of this was covered at the training.     I took my husband who is SUPER anti marketing and I honestly thought he might pluck his own eyes out at some points.   When questioned about how to sell something less tangible than the ‘make 6 figures in 6 months’ claims the response was simply ‘change what you’re selling.’   I choose to be different.  I won’t make wild claims that need a disclaimer or ‘not typical results’displayed next to it.     I won’t ‘own’ results that my clients have got because THEY’VE done the work, I know what it feels like because i’ve had it done to me!   I'm just here to facilitate, teach, coach and mentor them to where they want to be using all the knowledge i’ve spent years, and paid a flippin fortune to learn.   Does this mean it’s harder? Yes absolutely.     But am I in integrity and building my business the way I want to?  Yes, absolutely.   Do I sleep well at night? Yes absolutely.   Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes, understanding the psychology of why people buy can be just as helpful for the person BUYING just as much as the person selling so I get it, I really do and a lot of it I really do agree with.       Limited availability and time sensitive offers can help us invest in ourselves when issues of worth may have stopped us before.   It can help us make the right decision for us, get us off the fence and i’ve been grateful for it more than once.  Change is hard and our brain will work against us every step of the way because it’s misguided intentions are to keep us safe.     We make it harder on ourselves and often the sense of relief when i’ve made the decision to invest in something high ticket is liberating.  I wouldn’t have got here if it weren’t for some of the tactics.   But, when it’s done with integrity and you’re telling the truth.  When there really are only X numbers of spots. And the offer really does expire at X time.   Also don’t get me wrong again, I don’t believe EVERY marketer works in this way, there are CERTAINLY people who ARE marketing with integrity.  It just feels like there’s less of them these days because it’s so noisy out there.   It makes me sad when I see people who’ve ‘tried’ all the ‘exact step’ systems and it’s not worked for THEIR business.     Part of the reason for that is they usually miss out a TONNE of the steps before they even tell you what the first is!   It leaves people feeling less than.   It leaves people wondering what’s wrong with them.   In worst case scenarios they accept failure and quit.   I’ve fallen for it too.  I’ve lost count how many of those ‘this is EVERYTHING you need to have a business JUST like mine’ scripts i’ve bought into.     The trouble is, most of the time, I don’t want a business ‘just like theirs’ at all!  I don’t actually WANT to do some of the things they’re telling me to so I sabotage myself and make excuses.   I want MY business, MY way, that fits into MY life, and i’m pretty sure you do too.   You don’t want to be another cookie cutter, there’s more to you than that.  So don’t beat yourself up when someone else’s exact steps don’t work for you, it’s not your fault.   So you need to be honest with yourself about what you ACTUALLY want.     Don’t use any ‘tactics’ that make you feel icky.  (Please do NOT lump sales in general into this one and use it as an excuse not to do it, it’s time to reframe sales into being of service, you have to sell so people know you can help them solve their problems!)   Because guess what, if something is making you feel ‘icky’ you’ll subconsciously sabotage your efforts anyway.   I get that some of these tactics ‘work’ but I do believe the tide is turning and turning fast and they won’t work for long.     The fake ‘live’ webinars, the funnels that get you somewhere for free, upsell you to the next level and then upsell you again.   It’s leaving people in a constant state of feeling like they ‘need’ something else to get heir business to where they want it to go.   Another tactic.   Another strategy.   But you don’t.   You just need to work out what’s going on in your noggin, work out how you actually want to run your business, take any learnings you already have or learn from someone you really trust and find YOUR way to market.   It’s no surprise to me that my podcast and instagram are my biggest audiences.     I actually ENJOY them. They both feel pretty effortless for me to be on.     It’s also no surprise to me that I tend to find clients from things i’ve done in person.  Whether that’s speaking at an event or doing a training in someone else's group or programme.   I REALLY enjoy in person. I come alive when I’m teaching people what I know. PLUS I am super picky about who I work with, it needs to be right from both sides so meeting them in person works for me.     It’s also how I learn best myself, so in person is a big part of and something I introduced to the 1:1 programmes I offer so I can make sure people learn as much as possible.  And i’m a hugger, let’s be honest!   Due to that, I’m in the rumble at the moment of what I want MY focus to be and how I want to show up ‘online’ without just being another contributor to the noise and make sure i’m making the impact in the right places.     So there will be big (but exciting!) changes afoot in MY business.   This stuff is fluid.  You just need to learn to listen to yourself and be super self aware to notice when you’re sabotaging yourself and most importantly, why.     What thoughts are going on for you?   Where is something feeling ‘off’ or ‘heavy’ and what can you do to change it.   Questioning what YOU want and revisiting that question regularly is SO key.   When you’re creating something or doing something that you either don’t really want deep down, or that feels out of whack with your values you WILL sabotage yourself.   When your unconscious is running the show and you have ingrained habits and belief systems that aren’t aligning with what your conscious is trying to do it WILL sabotage your efforts.   So what do you LOVE in your business and how you market it right now?  What do you want to change?   Please give yourself a break if you’ve tried an ‘exact’ step method and it hasn’t worked for you.  They’ve either not given you the whole story or your unconsciously sabotaging it. You’ve just got to find YOUR thing.  The thing that you LOVE doing and a way you LOVE marketing.   Just remember, there are people out there doing it.  If it’s possible for them it’s possible for you. 100%.  Choose who you want to learn from and model how they’re doing it.   Don’t sacrifice your integrity and your values because someone is telling you it’s the only way, because it isn’t!     If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
June 3, 2019
Why responsibility is important in business and in life   Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!   Why responsibility is important in business and in life   Most of us know that taking responsibility is important in life, but are you actually doing it?   Taking responsibility for your part to play in what happens and in your own outcomes.   Let me be clear, responsibility is NOT about blame here.     A lot of things can happen that are completely out of our control.   What IS our responsibility and WITHIN our control is how we choose to react to those things and how we choose to look at things.   I’m talking about personal responsibility.     Taking responsibility for the things you say and do that create your outcomes.  Wanted and unwanted.   When you’re willing to stare this stuff in the face and go ‘ok, this is what I can learn’ or ‘this is where I had an effect on the outcome,’ then a whole world will open up for you. Time to take back your power (insert strong arm emoji here!) Taking responsibility takes your power back and gets you OUT of victim mode!   Things have happened in Many areas in my life and in my business that I held onto blame for a really long time.     Not accepting any responsibility for myself or any part that I played in the outcomes.   What do you think it got me?   Nowhere fast, anger, bitterness and a little resentment sprinkled on top.  But I got to be ‘right’ in my mind.   Now I know different.     There are a TONNE of things I could have done differently that could have changed things in each of those situations. A few examples When I take the example of quitting on my first business Francesca Grace Jewellery.     I loved it when it was a little side project that I wasn’t planning on taking any money out of for the first couple of years but when all of a sudden, due to err...unforeseen circumstances, it was my full time gig I couldn’t bear it.  I was blaming everyone else around me for my circumstances.   I was using every excuse under the sun for why it couldn’t work so when it didn’t, I felt relieved to be proven right.   The reality is it DID work, it WAS working.  I had orders when I wasn’t even promoting myself.     The reality is I was scared, feeling like an impostor, feeling not good enough, terrified of judgement and I quit.     I also really hated doing commissions because I felt it took the creativity and room for error out of it but that would have been a seriously easy fix...just don’t do commissions ...duh!  Funny how we don’t see what’s staring us right in the face!   I didn't take responsibility for the actions I was taking and the way I was sabotaging myself.     I didn’t take responsibility for choosing how I felt.  I was ALLOWING myself to be stuck in victim mode.   I would complain to people so they would sympathise and validate my behaviour. An important lesson This was a hard lesson that I really had to learn myself again 6 years ago in another situation.  I was very much stuck in victim mode, ignoring the lessons and wasting precious time not forgiving the person involved, but when I looked closer there really were a lot of things I could have done differently.   Or, when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for over 3 YEARS in my early 20s, I can look back now and see all the times and areas where I could have accepted some responsibility and absolutely changed the situation. Time and time again I had more control over the situation than I thought I did.   The same again when I was struggling with an eating disorder in my teens.  I can clearly see with hindsight how much I had control over and all the times I could have changed things for myself.     I repeated these patterns of not taking responsibility and making excuses in many areas of my life and created the same results. Create awareness, make a change Once I had the awareness, finally seeing and accepting responsibility made it easier for me to forgive other people involved and forgive myself.   It just leaves you stuck, feeling powerless and pretty bitter in a situation where you have so much more control and power than you're giving yourself credit for.   It’s incredibly difficult to change anything if you’re not accepting responsibility for your own life.   Ask yourself what you DO have control over.     Ask yourself ‘what’s my part in this?’ and ‘what could I do/be doing/have done to change the situation or have a different outcome.’   This can be a really tough and confronting exercise to do, to look at the part that you played in your outcomes, but it can be incredibly valuable...and empowering. Change is good! It means no more excuses.   And a life without excuses is full of action and getting stuff done.     It’s magic.  You’ll complain less. You’ll take action. You’ll make better choices. It creates trust. It creates integrity.   Like I said, it’s not about BLAME, or beating yourself up in any way.     It’s about allowing yourself to work out what went wrong and either rectify it or learn from it for next time.  What could you do differently?   It’s about not allowing external circumstances to dictate where you are and where you go.     It’s about not blaming other people, and asking, ‘what’s my part in this’ ‘what could I have done differently’   Taking responsibility gives you your power back.     It gives you your control back.   It’s hugely important for your business too It also means you’ll do a better job for your clients.     You’re more likely to what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it.     You won’t be looking for reasons why it’s not done, you’ll just get it done!   When you’re trying to be consistent and all the mindset gremlins are trying to sabotage you you’ll be able to say hang on...what’s my part here, where can I take responsibility...and just bloomin show up!   You’ll start doing the things you’re putting off because you’re taking ownership and responsibility.     It’s about knowing there is always something more you can do rather than getting caught up in the weeds thinking and believing you’re stuck.   It’s essentially very high self awareness.  Time to really take control of your own reality.   I’ll repeat myself.  This is NOT about BLAMING yourself, or talking down to yourself.   It’s taking ownership of your choices and YOUR ability to make the difference.   Don’t deny yourself the lessons and the opportunity to improve.     We’re all human and we all make mistakes and the odd bad choice.  You will move on from it much more quickly when you take responsibility in your part of it.   So, whatever is going on right now, what can you take responsibility for that will help improve it?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
May 27, 2019
Things people don’t tell you about starting a business   Show note links:   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   Things people don’t tell you about starting a business   There are a TONNE of things people don’t tell you about starting your own business.     You see the #filter most of the time on social media from other entrepreneurs and they make it look ohhh so easy.   Then you get started, all of a sudden you realise it wasn’t QUITE as easy as they made out.   Now, owning your own business does have a LOT of perks, but there are a few things I wish I knew before I started so I thought I would share some of those with you!     It’s harder, and takes longer than you think.  IF you don’t have the right support and network. (024 - When Your Friends Don't Support Your Business) The reality is, owning a business isn’t a walk in the park, you have serious highs and lows but the number one thing I didn’t sort until about a year into my journey was my network and my support system.  Then I made it my priority. Having a network made SUCH a difference for me. Make sure you get it as SOON as you can. If it’s free networking events, paid events, memberships, mastermind groups or coaches it’s so SO important to have this from as early on as possible. This is something that will hugely cut down the time it takes you to get to where you want to be.       You need an unprecedented level of self awareness.  I’m always talking about how awareness is the first key to change.  Change is an inevitable part of the process of running your own business. (053 - Why Does It Always Feel So Hard Making A Change) Your brain will try and keep you safe but it’s misguided intentions will leave you self sabotaging at every turn.  You need to be SO aware of your thoughts and beliefs because they WILL cause you to sabotage yourself if you’re running unhelpful programming in that subconscious of yours.  It’s running the show so you need the self awareness to be able to get your brain to work FOR you rather than against you.   On that note, all your mind ‘stuff’ will come to the surface.  All your thoughts and beliefs around yourself, around running a business, around self discipline, around self motivation, around money mindset, around self belief and what you think you’re capable of.  Expect it, it’s a part of the process and oh my goodness does it lead you towards being the very best version of yourself, if you let it.   You don’t know what you don’t know! There is ALWAYS something new or something else to learn so be open to learning lessons from surprising places.     You need to prioritise yourself more than you ever have before.  Your health, your sleep, your overall well being! You can not pour from an empty cup and it’s surprisingly easy to burnout. All of these things are a key to your success so don’t think they don’t matter or are not a priority.  They do and they are. More than you realise right now.   You can’t be all things to all people...and you don’t want to be!The sooner you stop trying to please everyone, the sooner your ideal clients will be able to find you.  You WANT to turn off people who would never buy from you. (059 - Don't Fear The Haters!) Once it’s an intention it makes it so much easier and won’t feel like rejection.  The first unfollow or unsubscribe hurts...unless you realise this early on.   Not everybody who wants to work with you is an ideal client. You can be picky about who you work with.  If your gut tells you you shouldn’t work with that person, listen to it!   You can ‘dump’ your clients! Yup.  If you have a client who is treating you badly there is no excuse for that.  Set your boundaries and if they won’t adhere to them, you can ‘sack’ them...it’s YOUR business!   YOU are your biggest challenge!  It’s not the strategy, it’s not the tech, it’s you.  BUT everything is sortable so the sooner you’re aware of how you’re contributing to your challenges, the sooner you can move through them.   Everyone has a freaking opinion! You get to choose who you listen to!   To reiterate point 10. You do NOT have to listen to everybody. (064 - Stop Listening To Everyone!)   You’ll think you’re the only person in the world that has ever felt this rollercoaster.You’re not.  Find the people who ‘get it’ and breathe.   Feast and famine is not a fun way to live!  Passive income is your friend.   Not all your loved ones will support you, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. (024 - When Your Friends Don't Support Your Business)   Things that work for other people may not work for you in the same way.  Don’t be blinded by all the ‘exact steps’ sales funnels because just because it worked for someone else doesn’t necessarily mean it will be exactly the same for you.  Take what you can from their method and find your own stride. Never feel ‘less than’ or that there is something ‘wrong’ with you if it doesn’t work...there’s not!   You will grow more than you ever thought possible.  It’s a beautiful journey and every day you become better than the day before, it just happens!   You need a TONNE of personal development, even if you hate it and think it’s woo woo fluffy stuff. Psychology plays a HUGE part in being a business owner.   You absolutely have to get comfortable selling and marketing. You just need to find YOUR way of selling and marketing, that works for YOU! Often it comes down to a different way of looking at things.  For example, if you don’t tell people you can solve their problems, you can’t solve their problems!   On that note, if you build it they will not come.   Hang onto your job for as long as you can, there WILL be hidden costs, or things that you REALLY want.  Your job can be your investor! (068 - When To Leave Your Job And Go Full Time In Your business)   Stay in your zone of genius and outsource the rest.  Your time is your most valuable commodity, don’t waste it along with valuable headspace on tasks you hate, will take you forever or just plan stress you out.  You DON’T have to do it all...in fact, it’s BETTER if you don’t!   You will change and evolve your business countless times.  Your niche, your product, your message, your ideal client. Behavioural flexibility is one of the 5 core principles of success and you will need it in droves...but it makes things a LOT easier when you have it!   Owning a business can be incredibly lonely...IF you let it! Go find your peeps! (043 - How To Not Feel Lonely In Your Business)   You need to watch your thoughts...all the time!(052 - Why You Need To Pay Attention To Your Thoughts)   You don’t have to be on all the platforms. If you can find a way to repurpose content and make it work for you with minimal effort or input from you (for example, outsourcing to a social media manager) then great.  It’s better to pick a couple of places that your ideal clients are that you actually ENJOY being on, and concentrate there. My favourite places are my podcast and Instagram so I plan to put even more focus there.   You’re looking at the highlight reel! Look at all the ‘overnight successes’ with a pinch of salt.  Most people don’t share their low moments, the launches that didn’t work, the products that didn’t sell.  Remember that.   Where you set your prices is not where they will end up.  You will likely HUGELY underprice yourself while you wait for your mind and self worth to catch up with you. Don’t beat yourself up because it’s all lessons to learn.  Push yourself as much as you can so it’s always slightly outside your comfort zone and reassess every few months. (036 - How To Charge Your Worth)   Scheduling is your BEST friend.(008 - How To Find More Time In Your Day)   An accountant is WELL worth the money for the time, stress and grey hairs you save!   If you wing it and don’t set goals and prioritise it will take you FAR longer to get where you want to be. If you know what you’re working towards you’re FAR more likely to get there. (041 - How To Set Goals That Work For You!)   Do what you love and you’ll never ‘work’ again.   You can have and know all the strategy you want but if you don’t make sure your mindset is in the right place you will get into a pickle and likely stay pretty stuck and frustrated in procrastination frustration and overwhelm. You absolutely don’t have to! (033 - Why Mindset Isn’t A ‘Nice To Have’ As An Entrepreneur)   You will change as a person (usually for the better ha!) and your friendships will change.   Having your own business is a crazy roller coaster ride and can be one of the most rewarding and life changing things you can do.  Don’t forget to enjoy it!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
May 20, 2019
The Little Things Are The Big Things   Show note links:   For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/little-things For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   The Little Things Are The Big Things   Do you forget about stopping to notice the awesome little things in your life?   The things that really make life enjoyable? Let’s be honest the little things ARE the big things.   They’re what makes the difference between enjoying life and not enjoying it and there’s so much we can miss if we don’t look for it.   It’s REALLY easy when you’re trying to make big changes, run a business and go for your big dreams, to get so caught up in the minutia.   The little annoyances that seem to spiral, one after the other.   Your focus and attention goes on the all the things that you don’t have yet and you forget to stop and smell the roses and appreciate what you have NOW so you’re always living in the past or the future but never actually living in the present, which is where everything happens! First of all where attention goes, energy flows and results show.     You get what you focus on so when you’re focusing on all the things you want but don’t have yet, you’re just going to get more of that AND you’re going to miss all the little joys in life. What are you working towards if you don’t get to enjoy those parts of life?   Being grateful for the little things is something I practice every single day and let’s be honest makes life a whole lot better.   Gratitude literally changes the physiology of your brain and creates new neural pathways to make it a HABIT to be grateful every single day, despite what might be going on for you that day.   Think about this for a second.     When you focus on gratitude you find more things to be grateful for, whatever the circumstances.     You literally train your brain to find the little joyful things on a daily basis.     So whether you have an abundance of clients or things aren’t quite going according to plan yet, either way you’re grateful which is one of the highest positive emotions you can feel.   So you can see, practicing gratitude really is a win win situation.   When you don’t stop to notice the little things, celebrate the big and little wins you can get yourself into a negative loop of believing things aren’t going your way.     That you aren’t moving as fast as you want to.   You compare yourself to other people.   Perfectionism and imposter syndrome and the other pesky little gremlins can sneak in.   Anxiety can sneak in.   You can feel discouraged when all your hard work isn’t quite being reflected in your results yet.   I believe practicing gratitude and mindfulness is an antidote to all of that.   It increases your resilience.   It allows you to see the positive in any situation.   It helps you grow in confidence and make bolder decisions because you’ll start to treat things as an experiment rather than fearing failure because you’ll know there’s no such thing.   You’ll embrace the lessons and even look forward to them.   You’ll be doing all the things to bring MORE of the things you’re grateful for into your life.  You’ll be raising that vibration baby!   You’ll acknowledge your successes.   You’ll feel more joy.   I know it can seem like a bit of a fluffy subject at times but there’s a reason you hear so many hugely successful people talking about how gratitude and appreciating the little things is a part of their daily practice.   I’ve studied MANY of these hugely successful people and genuinely, I think it’s ALWAYS the case that high performers embrace gratitude as a huge part of their lives and tend to credit it as one of the biggest contributors to all the success they’ve enjoyed.     So it might be time to take note!   One of my favourite ways to implement this into my life is what I call a little ‘forward gratitude’.     When the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined and you do this with feeling it can be SUPER powerful, AND you’ll be training your reticular activating system to filter out the opportunities to get you where you want to be.     Write down all the things you want to achieve and all the things you’re grateful for in your business from where you WANT it to be.     The ideal clients you’re working with, the exact amount of money you want to make per month, the things you want to achieve but write them in the present tense.     As if it’s already done, already your life.     Don’t stop there though, have a little fun with it and write down how having each goal makes you FEEL.  Really feel the emotion behind it and visualise as if it’s already yours.   You might feel bonkers when you first start doing this but my goodness it works.  I had one client use this method and her business exploded through the roof.   An extra little tip is to do this as the last thing you do before going to sleep.  That way it’ll be bouncing around your subconscious as you sleep to make it even more powerful.  Whoop!   Think about the other ways gratitude can help you in your business.   Firstly for yourself but also for the people you work with.     Do you think genuine gratitude for and towards your clients could be a good thing?     Do you think people you work with, staff, VAs etc could potentially enjoy working with you more?   There are so many ways that noticing and appreciating the little things can help you grow and thrive and get to exactly where you want to be...worth a go right?   Here’s a few more things I do every day   A few things I do every day is celebrate the little things, I write down 3 good things that happened that day.     I make sure I do something nice for someone else and I make it my mission to make as many people smile as I can.     I also write down at least 3 things I'm grateful for and my forward gratitude.   I also LOVE me some mindfulness!   I’m lucky enough to live in a beautiful part of the world so mindful walking with the pooch is a big part of my routine.   It’s amazing what you notice when you shift your focus.     This ones a double whammy too because it can shift your thoughts AWAY from the minutia and anxious thoughts and on to something that’s going to make you feel good.   So, how can you start to implement a bit more gratitude into your business and your life.     How can you make sure you don’t forget to notice the little big things?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
May 13, 2019
Why boundaries are so important   Show note links:   For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/business-boundaries For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   Why boundaries are so important   Do you put boundaries in place in your business and in your life?   Are people clear about what’s acceptable and what’s not?   This could be with employees or contractors that you work with.     It could be with your kids.     It could be with your spouse.     It could be with your friends or other family members.     It could be setting boundaries with yourself! Boundaries are important   Regardless of which area of your life it is, boundaries are important and setting them as soon as possible will make it better all round for everybody.     It will mean far less communication issues, less overwhelm, less resentment, nobody feeling taken advantage of, everybody absolutely clear on what’s expected.   Much better than winging it right?   When you wing it is when people can make assumptions, deletions and distortions over the situation.   You can be on completely different pages when it comes to what’s been agreed and that’s when you have to have the potential awkward conversation,s or the sleepless nights, knowing you’re not happy with how things are. What even are boundaries?     Boundaries are essentially clear communication of ground rules.     What’s acceptable and what’s not for you.   When you have your own business and even more importantly when you work from home, it’s important that they’re as clear as possible.   It’s very easy for people to think that because you’re at home that means you’re ‘available’ when we all know that’s not really the case at all.     The constant interruptions mess with our flow right?  So it’s important to clearly communicate with loved ones. Benefits of setting boundaries   Having solid boundaries in place decreases anxiety, decreases the likelihood of burnout and decreases stress.     So this can only be a good thing, right?   Having boundaries creates structure.     Everyone is clear on their job and THEIR responsibilities without having to venture into yours or step over the line.   Boundaries really do create mutual respect.   If you allow people to walk all over you they will.  It’s your responsibility to not let that happen. It’s all within your power, which is the fun part!  This is all changeable. Where can you I set boundaries?   An easy one to start with is to set boundaries with people/potential clients/collaborators who email you.     I have an auto responder on my emails that state when I will and won’t respond (working hours) and how long to allow for a reply and then gives them an ‘in the meantime’ call to action.     It makes it clear for both of you.     It means you don’t have to rush and reply to every single email that comes through, you won’t feel the need to constantly check all through the evening and into the weekend, it’ll give you a bit of headspace.     The person on the other end will also know it may take you a little moment to respond, so they aren’t sitting there waiting.  Win win again.   Can you see a pattern emerging?? Team Members   Next, you can think about setting boundaries with new team members.   It’s best to set the boundaries early on in the relationship if you can.     Written and agreed job descriptions are ideal and encourage a conversation and questions to make sure you’re both on the same page.     If someone has already been ‘running amok’ in your business before the boundaries have been clearly defined then you could call a team meeting and set the ground rules from then on so as not to single anyone out.   The bottom line is they will either respect the boundaries or disagree with them.     And if they disagree with them then they may not be the right team member for you in the long run.   Take some time and open a google doc or whatever you use and start writing down what’s important to you.     What are your company values, what are YOUR values?     What is a priority and what isn’t.   What is acceptable and what isn’t.   What are the responsibilities in each role? (client, staff member, child, spouse, you etc)   Think about your working hours and ‘uncontactable’ hours (and stick to them!).     If you cross your own boundaries it’s far more difficult for other people to respect them.     If you do need to make an exception, make sure it’s clear that’s exactly what it is, an exception not the rule.   Have a think about setting them right up front with clients and have them sign and agree to your terms.   What are your rules on no shows and rescheduling?  What are the consequences? Do you have a 3 strike rule?  Minimum 24 hours notice or they lose the session?   What are your rules on late payments?   Are you clear on how they can contact you and when?     If you don’t want client calls or texts at all hours then don’t give out your personal number and be clear on when you will respond.   There are a tonne of different ways for clients to get in touch these days.   For example my 1:1 packages includes unlimited 24 hour access to me on an app called Voxer MEANING they don’t have my personal number but they can send me a message whenever they like.  24 hours a day, 7 days a week...that’s the point, to essentially have me in your pocket, to know you have somewhere to get what’s inside your head outside your head...in the moment.   BUT, i’m super clear before they sign up that I only check and respond to messages between the hours of 9-7pm Mon-Fri and if i’m off out or on my holidays I let them know in advance.   Be clear on work that is outside the realm of your agreement.     If you don’t set it all out to begin with you can see how much easier it is for people to take advantage.   At the end of the day it’s your time and your energy to manage. Home Working   The next thing to think about is home working.  Ooooooh this can be tricky!   This can take a little while to implement but is imminently possible.   How could you set boundaries with your kids, spouse and loved ones?  It will be different for everyone.   Could you have a ‘closed door’ policy with the family?  When the door is closed (or even a fun sign on the door) you’re working and the less interruptions you get the quicker you can finish?   Can you have the ‘hard’ conversation with your spouse about how important it is that they respect when you’re working and how important your business is to you etc?  This really will be different for everyone so really ask yourself the question. What else could you do to set boundaries at home? Finally, setting boundaries with yourself.   This is a biggie.     Be super disciplined with yourself.     With the  multi tasking, the phone notifications, recognise your patterns of procrastination, what hours do you absolutely not work?     I used to work all hours, evenings, weekends.  Now I very rarely work at the weekends unless i’ve had other things going on and i’m being flexible with my schedule which is also important.   But I never work (apart from the occasional Voxer) on a Friday after lunchtime and that is a non negotiable for me.   These times are all set out in my scheduling tools too so people literally can’t book into my non negotiable hours.   What are your self care ‘policies’?   Ask yourself what boundaries you want to set with yourself.     What do you want to be a regular part of your routine?  What is non negotiable with yourself?   This can all seem big and scary at first but once you build your processes and make sure there is a level of clear communication you will quickly see the shift.     For you, your family, your staff and your clients.   Like I say, win win!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
May 6, 2019
When To Leave Your Job And Go Full Time In Your Business   Show note links:   For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/when-to-go-full-time For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   When should I leave my job and go full time in my business?   I get asked a LOT about when the best time to leave a job is to go full time in your business.   If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I did this before and jumped straight into scarcity mode and panic and it, along with all the other mindset gremlins my brain threw at me, caused me to make all the excuses under the sun and quit.   But it also taught me some incredibly valuable lessons and sent me down a very different path and one that I'm hugely grateful to be on.   I think differently now   My mentality now about having both a job AND a business is VERY different to before.     I do believe you should stay in your job for as long as you can while you’re building your business, or as long as you WANT to because there are so many potential benefits to doing so, but i’ll go into a little more detail around that.   When is the right time?     The reality is there is no RIGHT time.     It’s completely dependant on you and your circumstances and only you can make the decision.   But, there are a few things (both practical AND mindset) I wish I’d known back then, or at least thought of, that I know now.  Hopefully it can help you in making a decision or creating your plan.   How many revenue streams do you have?   When you have both a job and a business (and think about other streams of income too, the average millionaire has 7...just saying!) your mindset is a lot more ‘bullet proof’ to what we see going on around us at the moment. Jobs are no longer the ‘safest’ way to make your income and navigating all the gremlins that come with growing a business can be tough.     Doing both gives you the time to build your business up the right way, allows your mindset to catch up with you and also means that if you were made redundant tomorrow you already know you’re sorted.  Nice right?!   You’re also not putting all your eggs in one proverbial basket, which to be honest, is a pretty nice place to be!   Do it because you love it, not because you’re desperate.   I also don’t believe you should ONLY start a business because you’re desperate to leave a job, I think there are a TONNE of things you can do before you spend a lot of time and money building something you don’t actually want.     If you don’t have a passion for what you’re trying to build it will be that much harder, you’ll procrastinate more, feel more overwhelmed and sabotage yourself even more because deep down you don’t really want what you’re working towards.   So here’s a few practical things to think about when you’re working out the right time for you to leave your job and go full time in your business OR when you might want to think about getting a part time job to support you and take the pressure off.   When you have peace of mind that you can afford it!   When you’re financially stable (which will mean something different for everyone) ideally have multiple revenue streams and know the bills are paid for the future so you don’t jump straight into panic mode.  Know what you need to be making in your business to make this happen for yourself. KNOW YOUR NUMBERS!   When you have your personal finances in check.   No (unmanageable) credit card debt or loans to pay, start from a clean slate if you can.  It’s no good saving up 6 months to a year in salary if all it’s going to do is pay down debts and you’ll still end up straight into good old scarcity mindset.   When as many of the ‘big’ costs are already paid.   Are you going to be a limited company?  Do you need to trademark anything? Do you have the qualifications you want?  Do you want to invest in getting your ads up and running beforehand? Do you want a snazzy website?   All sorts of things (you absolutely don’t need to overwhelm yourself and do all of them but just think about where you’re business is at vs where you want it to be and how you can get off to a flying start when you do leave, basically, are all your ducks in a row as much as possible?) Have you planned out any events you want to go to and put that money aside?   When you stop enjoying it.   If you’re completely miserable in your job that’s very different to just being bored or something along those lines, and if that’s you then you can completely change how you view it like I did and here are some episodes to help you with that: How to balance a job and business without going insane How to be more positive in your job so your business can take off When you understand it’s not going to happen overnight.   Have patience.  It takes time.   If you’re pushing, pushing, pushing against a self imposed deadline you’ll feel overwhelmed.     Try and let go of the attachment of needing it to happen NOW and let the compound effect build up for you.   You’re likely to chop and change so many elements of your business time and time again until you find your ‘thing’ and settle into your ‘rhythm’   When your mindset has caught up with you!   The transition from employee to entrepreneur is FAR bigger than you expect to begin with.     You need time to break old habits and form new ones and get out of the mentality of working for someone else and doing everything for yourself.     To do it without the feedback of a manager, based on your own values and beliefs rather than those of a company, to let go of the regular ‘pay day’, to be confident making all the decisions yourself, learning to TRUST those decisions, to get comfortable with failing and looking at things as an experiment to be tweaked over time rather than having to get it ‘right’ every time.     It can be absolutely liberating or it can be completely constricting so it’s good to allow yourself the time for those mindset shifts to happen before you jump.   Remember...Your job can be your investor.   You get to invest in yourself (mostly) guilt free when you know what’s coming in every month.     I’ve invested about £70k in my own development.  The best courses, events, training, qualifications and I LOVE it, my business is built around being able to do that.     I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t investing in myself and my growth.     I always aim to be better than I was the day before so having regular or passive income streams allows for this to happen (whatever those revenue streams may be!) because you know where you’re at there or thereabouts each month.   Personal development is my obsession.  Learning about the brain, about why people behave the way they do, health, nutrition, bettering myself, I love it all.   Give yourself the time to test, experiment, build.  You don’t have to put the pressure on your self.   When the timing is practical.   For example if you’re transitioning from employee to entrepreneur and your business is earning money but you’re also paying tax through PAYE it might be a good idea to leave in April so you start the new tax year afresh.   It’s always a good idea to speak to an accountant about these things before you make the decision.   When you love where you do your work.   Your environment will be SO key to your success.     If you’re in an environment you don’t like being in, or one full of distractions then you’ll make it more difficult on yourself than it needs to be.   That procrastination gremlin will be sitting on your shoulder and you’ll find excuses and things you need to do so you avoid being in there.   So what can you do to make sure you love being where you work?   When you have the right support in place.   Join a mastermind group of like minded people, make sure you have a coach and biz besties to help navigate the inevitable mindset gremlins and support you and keep you on track during the transition.   Accountability will be so important when you first make the jump.   So, there’s just a few things that may help you make your decision.     You can take note of some, all or none of these!   As I said before, it has to be your decision and when the time is right for you, nobody else can tell you that.     This counts both ways, deciding when to leave your job OR getting yourself one for a bit while you grow.     The bottom line is we want to limit those mindset gremlins that can and will get in your way if you let them so these tips will really help with that.     Scarcity is not a fun place to be and is completely avoidable! Make it easier on yourself and have fun in the process!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
April 29, 2019
Are you thinking like a successful business owner?   Show note links:   For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/think-like-a-successful-business-owner For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   Are you thinking like a successful business owner?   Do you think like a successful business owner?   Think about that for a second.   Do you THINK, therefore, FEEL, take the ACTION of and get the RESULTS of a successful business owner?   For me this is one of THE biggest pieces of the puzzle. 20% strategy, 80% mindset.     Your mindset is all about how you THINK and the habits you have based on your beliefs and programmes that you may have had since you were a kid. You don’t want a kid running the show in your business right?     Because that’s essentially what so many people are doing right now when their unconscious is dominating!   The bottom line is, I don’t believe you are ANY less capable than any of the people you see online, that you look up to, that you see doing or having what you want.  It’s all 100% possible, for YOU.   You know you’re capable of it too, that’s the frustration.     Deep down you KNOW you can do it, you know the things that would get you there, but you just can’t quite seem to get yourself there. What is success anyway?   We all have our own definition of success so when i’m talking about this you take it to mean YOUR definition of success, whatever that is for you. A common mistake   The mistake that I see people make is thinking along the lines of ‘When I HAVE X, I will DO Y and BE Z’.   An example of this may be, ‘When I have lost some weight THEN I will go on facebook live all the time and that will get me a successful business.   When you’re thinking like that first of all you’re always waiting, you’re making excuses as to why you can’t have, be or do right NOW which delays your success but you’re also agreeing with your subconscious identity of ‘I’m not thin enough to be on video and therefore not good enough to have a successful business’.     Or maybe it’s an unconscious belief that you’re not worthy of success, but you would be if you were thinner!   Can you see how all this is going to do is hold you back when 95-99% of what you’re doing is run on autopilot from your unconscious?     There are SO many unconscious beliefs and programmes running in those statements that will always keep you stuck   We need to smash those out of the water. It’s also completely backwards thinking.   You have to BE the person, to DO the thing to HAVE the success, NOT the other way around.   Operate from a place where it’s ALREADY your reality because THAT’s how it becomes your reality (here’s where some good old fashioned visualisation comes in handy!).   I know it sounds a bit woo but it’s brain sciency stuff so stick with me.   Your unconscious is working on the premise that you are always right and will look for all the ways to prove it to you.   Here’s an example     A great example of this is weight again, (you can tell where I’ve had some serious issues in the past, ha! But it’s also where most people can relate!)  So you lose weight, feel great and then go straight back to your old eating habits and gain it again and end up in this lose, gain cycle.   That’s because your unconscious identity takes you right back to your old patterns, your old identity of being the person who doesn’t work out every day, likes to veg out on the sofa and isn’t a ‘thin’ person.   THIS is why the most successful weight losers are ones who shift their reasons for doing it to changing who they are on an unconscious level (without realising that’s what they’re doing!).     For example, for me it was (after about 15 years of yoyoing!) for health reasons and a complete lifestyle change, rather than a short term fix where you don’t eat carbs for 3 months.   That method doesn’t change your unconscious identity and doesn’t allow you the time to change your habits because the whole time you’re essentially telling yourself it’s short term and you will go back to ‘normal’ soon...and then what happens?!   It’s the same reason that 70% of lottery winners go broke within a few years of winning millions!     Their unconscious identity is not that of a ‘wealthy’ person.  (you can see why you need to do some serious work on money mindset too here!) What are your patterns?   These patterns are everywhere and it’s why it’s SO important to make sure we identify them and change them to something more helpful because they are running the show.   Everything is a belief and you DO have control over what you think, it can take some practice to identify and catch the thoughts that are unhelpful but it soon becomes second nature.   We filter out anything our unconscious mind is not already wired to believe.   It’s time to get yourself off autopilot. The most successful entrepreneurs think differently.     They’re wired differently.     If you start to study them you’ll start to notice some key similarities.   Their beliefs, their faith in it working out, they look after themselves body and mind (diet, exercise, meditation etc), they practice gratitude, they make sure they get enough sleep, they don’t make excuses, they walk towards fear not away from it, they know that failure is part of the process.     I could go on but the more you consciously look for these commonalities the more you will see them.     One set of business owners do have it slightly easier to start with and those are the people who haven’t grown up with what I call ‘corporate’ beliefs.     Being taught that having a job and a regular income plus benefits, where you work your way up the ranks etc etc is the safest and carries the most prestige.     Urgh...you can see why those beliefs can make it difficult when starting your own business is just that...starting again...back at the bottom, that you worked so many years to get away from urgh!   Many will be 1st generation entrepreneurs. Like me.  These people have to work a little harder to begin with.   My Dad was a school teacher and house master and my mum was the school nurse so it was long hours and hard work to live paycheck to paycheck.  Don’t get me wrong I had a GREAT childhood but those were the beliefs I saw, took on and modelled which are fine for corporate, not so much for running your own business.     You have to work really hard for your money and then you have to justify everything you spend.   My parents however, also taught me to be a self starter, to always do my best and gave me a bloomin great work ethic (essential as a business owner!) which took me far BUT the first bit is what gets in the way.   Whereas often you see some of the most successful entrepreneurs are 3rd or 4th generation entrepreneurs.     They grew up with beliefs around owning a business being easier.  Being the norm. You can see how those beliefs and that identity make it far easier. So how are you thinking?   Now, none of this way of thinking is your fault.  It’s what you’ve been taught at some point in your life, usually before you’re even 7 years old.     It’s coping mechanisms that you learned.  BUT...guess what...you can unlearn it!   You can get your subconscious mind to work FOR you rather than against you.   You get to reprogramme your brain and rewire it to be who you want to be and live how you want to live.   Exercise:   So who is that?   What are the characteristics of people you admire that you aren’t currently modelling?   What are their habits?   What do you notice about them?   What do THEY do, that you’re not right now?   Who do you have to BE that you’re not currently being, to DO what you know will move the needle and HAVE exactly what you want?   Is it confidence?  Commitment? Resilience? What traits do you need to model?   Live from who THAT person is rather than where you’re at right now.   A belief is just a thought repeated over time.  So change your thoughts, change your beliefs, change your actions and change your results.  Everything you want is waiting on the other side.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
April 22, 2019
How to deal with needing a sick day when you're running a business   Show note links:   For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/sick-day-in-business For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   How to deal with needing a sick day when you're running a business   How do you deal with REALLY needing a sick day when you’re running your business.   Too many of us do the hustle, hustle, hustle and feel like we can’t take any time off and that does nothing good for our health...especially when you won’t take a sick day when you’re sick!     Or, we feel GUILTY when we do take time off for a sick day which is even worse because you’re trying to relax and get better and you’re sitting on the sofa in and out of netflix, nap, netflix, nap and at the same time full of all the negative thoughts about what you SHOULD be doing instead and how much time you’ve ‘wasted’.   Meh! Annoying right?   So, a little context for you.  I don’t actually get ill very often but last week seriously had other ideas!   I shall spare you the gory details but I managed to pick me up a lovely case of gastroenteritis...which lasted much longer than it was supposed to.   I was totally wiped out with no choice but to do nothing, and I had a TONNE of things to do.     You KNOW I’m ill when I have no appetite, can’t nap OR watch netflix.     Horrendous.   BUT, I was able to take that time off.   Yes I was momentarily VERY annoyed at the situation because I'm human BUT I didn’t panic about things going wrong in my business, or not showing up as much on social media, or not posting any stories on my Instagram...you can thank me for that actually, nobody needed to see that!   Yes it would have been lovely to have that time to get lots ticked off my to do list BUT that clearly wasn’t going to be the case and health is wealth people, you have to look after yourself.   This is one of the MANY reasons having behavioral flexibility is one of the keys to success.  You can waste your time being annoyed and frustrated or re-group and work out a new plan of action   If you take a few days off to recover the world won’t stop!   I had to shuffle a few things around, have AMAZING understanding clients, had team members in the wings if anything was REALLY urgent and I allowed myself that time to get better. I wasn’t as present on Instagram and my whole business didn’t collapse!   BUT, it does highlight something.     We’re all human and these things can happen and it’s important to get systems in place that mean we can allow ourselves whatever time we need to heal.   From the sick days to the big things that require a little time off, we can put things in place to make sure everything is handled, take the weight off your mind!   It's also WAY better to rest and get better than push and procrastinate and produce sub par work anyway right? You’ll actually end up getting more stuff done.   Here’s a few ideas, have a think about things you could apply to your own business and get them in place so you can enjoy the sweet Netflix and nap time.   Look at your diary and move the moveable! It’s easy to look at things as ‘fixed’ but with a little jiggery pokery and honesty with your clients and audience there will be things that can move.     I moved my live podcast recording in my group, client calls and my group call with my mastermind.  I would have been no good to anyone in my state so they appreciated the move and the honesty! I also got super honest about what was really ‘urgent’ I also worked a bit at the weekend which I try not to do as a rule BUT meant that I could nap guilt free and still get the same amount done.   Have your business ‘processes’ mapped out. If you have regular or key processes mapped out step by step you can hand it over to someone else.  Whether it’s short term...or you kinda like it and it becomes a long term thing. I looove me some outsourcing! If things are mapped out you could even ask a family member to help you out if you wanted to!   Batching Batching is your best friend. The only thing I don’t batch is my podcast recordings because I do them live but even that might change based on last week, ha! It made me realise I COULD have a few backup batched episodes ready to go. Think about it, you could take one day per month and write and upload 4 blogs, use a tool like Missinglettr to set the promo up to run on autopilot.  1 day of work for one month of content! Ooooh!   Team Even part time, or by the hour team members can be a total life saver. All the little things that are on the to do list can be sorted, yes it may cost you a couple of hours but to me that’s worth it for peace of mind and to know I can rest.  What can you outsource? My lovely VA does all sorts of things for me that give me the gift of time. Go find yourself your very own unicorn!   Make passwords easy On the subject of team keep all your passwords safe and handy with something like Last pass. So instead of people chasing you for various passwords you send them one and it’s all sorted!   Set an OOO For the love of all things please don’t be tempted to answer every email that comes through, you will NOT rest.  Put an out of office message on either directing them to your VA in an emergency or letting them know you won’t be available for a couple of days.  If you’re telling yourself you can’t do this then it’s time to have a look at the wider picture here. You’re human and you need to be able to take some time off or you will burn out.  You can do this, you just need to find the way that works for your business, what is it because it will be there!   Think about your business model Recurring revenue streams so taking time off doesn’t impact your ability to make money in your business.  For so many people they have a belief that taking time off equals losing money but setting up your business with that in mind will really help.  What recurring revenue ideas could you implement? What could you automate?   Honesty is the best policy Just be honest with the people in your community and with your clients.  You’re human and so are they! So many people feel the need to be ‘online perfect’ but reality is very different.  You get to be imperfect, you get ot be ill and take a sick day, you get to move things around in your diary, you get to take time to heal, you get to be a human!   What else could YOU do in YOUR business to make sure that if anything happens it can still run smoothly and you actually get the time you need to heal?   It’s important to take care of YOU first. Body and mind, it’s all linked, you can’t affect one without the other.  Make it as easy as you can on yourself.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
April 15, 2019
How The Fear Of Success IS Holding You Back Show note links:   For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/blog For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me and share your key takeaways on Instagram @franexcellcoach How The Fear Of Success IS Holding You Back Do you fear your own success?   You’re probably thinking, ‘WHAT? No, of course not, it’s everything i’m working towards why on earth would I fear getting everything I want, you crazy?’   Right?   Well, you might be surprised to know that this is one of THE most common fears that hold us back as business owners and often the hardest to spot for exactly that reaction. Why WOULD you fear getting everything you’re working so hard for? Well, on a conscious level you don’t really!  That’s the problem   Fear of failure and fear of judgement are FAR easier to identify but the fear of success can be slightly more pesky.   There may be a few little sneaky unconscious drivers at play that need to be identified so they can be challenged and told ever so politely to stop getting in your way.   We’re all working and striving for success so why on earth would we sabotage ourselves based on something we actually want?   Sounds bonkers right?   Well, if unconsciously you think that getting the success that you want would affect your relationships, your friendships or anything else for that matter in a potentially negative way then it starts to become easier to see why this may happen.   Fear of success is also one of the BIG reasons that we procrastinate, and we can’t work out why. How do I know if I have a fear of success? So, how do you identify a fear of success...and overcome it?   To identify it look at your behaviours currently in your business and really start to challenge what you’re telling yourself about why you’re doing them. A lot of these won’t be in your conscious thoughts BUT the REASONS and EXCUSES you’re making will be.     Do you not finish tasks even though you know that if you did it could propel your business forward?   Do you procrastinate but it’s not because you don’t WANT to do something or are afraid of failing?   Are you easily distracted?   Do things start going really well and then all of a sudden things start going wrong all at the same time? Fear of success can be HUGELY linked to your money story too.   If you believe that ‘Rich people are bad people’ or anything along those lines it’s really going to get in your way and your unconscious WILL sabotage you because...you don’t want to be a bad person right?   With success comes potential (inevitable) rejection too and maybe even some good old trolls, so if you don’t put yourself out there to be seen by lots of eyeballs then you’ll stay safe right?   A biggie is that you worry about change and fear the unknown when it comes to what it will mean for your life when you’re successful. Your brain loves certainty so it’s obviously going to try and keep you there as best it can. How can I work out mine?!     There are a few common underlying thoughts that I see come up often with clients that may help you identify your own and a little reframe for each to help you think differently: What if I get judged by or even lose my friends?   You may think on the surface you’re working towards everything you’ve ever wanted but the reality is not everyone will support you and that’s fine, you’ll learn who your real friends are.     Your relationships will evolve and the RIGHT people will stay right by your side and be proud of you.     There will be people who are jealous, you will highlight things in other people that they don’t like (not everyone would back themselves to do what you’re doing so kudos to you for that!)   You will find new friends, with common goals, interests and values.  It can be hard to let some friendships go but don’t be afraid to. OMG it will be SO much responsibility! And it’s all on ME!   You may unconsciously be concerned about the level of responsibility. Bills to pay, irregular income, no paid holidays.     It’s easy to sabotage your success when on the outside it LOOKS like you’re doing all the things to set you up for success but the responsibility of having your own business can feel heavy sometimes.     For example, you might be delaying registering your business or registering as self employed or VAT registering.  All the things that make it REAL. I was DEFINITELY guilty of this one in my first business.   You may even be telling yourself you will have to do ALL the things, the reality is it’s just not true! The more successful you get the more you can outsource and build your team. Will my family still accept me?   A lot of your unconscious beliefs around success and money will come from your family.     So if you grew up with things like ‘rich successful people are greedy and arrogant’ then why would you help yourself get rich and successful?     You’ve told your brain your entire life it’s not what you want or who you want to be, so you have some serious cognitive dissonance going on where you’re battling what you consciously want against your unconscious beliefs!     If you also believe it’s what THEY will think of you then it becomes easier to see how this could hold you back. What if I become someone I don’t like?   Similar to the previous point.  If you believe that what you’re trying to achieve comes with a potential personality shift for the negative then why would you NOT sabotage your success?     If you believe successful people are greedy, arrogant, have no time and are selfish then of course you’re going to unconsciously get in your way.     Do you have evidence to suggest otherwise?  Do you see successful people doing charity work, being kind to others, being generous and humble?  Those are the people you need to focus on and remind yourself (and your brain!) of! Will I still have time to do the things I enjoy, will I have ANY time?   If you believe success is linked to ‘busy-ness’ or has to come FROM it then this one could definitely get in your way.     If you believe that having a successful business means LESS time with your family and loved ones, LESS time with friends, LESS time to be doing the things you love then it would be helpful to nip that in the bud.     It’s like I mentioned before.  The more successful you get the more your team can grow so you can work less and earn more.     Delightful, right?  Change that story!   There are a TONNE more but these are the ones I see most frequently and until you can identify the unconscious beliefs and habits that are keeping you stuck, you’ll continue to sabotage yourself.     BUT, once you identify them and create that awareness, then you challenge them, reframe them and create NEW beliefs and habits that actually SERVE you...then the whole world opens up to you my friend!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
April 8, 2019
Stop Listening To Everyone   Show note links:   For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/stop-listening-to-everyone For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   Stop Listening To Everyone   Stop listening to everyone, because you’re hearing no one.   The online business space is LOUD and the noise can be deafening at times, especially if you’re listening to multiple people, multiple voices and multiple, often conflicting advice and points of view.   Listening to and following everyone causes you to have too many things and too many voices swimming about in your noggin which leads to all the gremlins rearing their ugly heads.     Cue overwhelm, self doubt, procrastination and all their friends.     Which is not the best mindset to be when you’re running a business and trying to get stuff done.   Everywhere you look there will be someone telling you that their specialism, platform or strategy is THE one thing you need to get you where you want to be, that without it you ‘don't have a business.’   It’s exhausting.   I remember when I first started my business I was absorbing all the things.  I was trying to be on all the platforms, listen to all the free advice, investing in all the programmes and...doing not a whole lot of anything to be honest.   I was confused and felt pulled in all directions with no one clear focus.     Thankfully I recognised it fairly quickly.     I recognised that to get to where I wanted to go I needed to cut out the noise and find ‘my’ people.     There are a lot of ‘guru’s’ in this industry who don’t always have the best of intentions and will use all those sleazy tactics that you’re avoiding doing because it gives you the ick.     It’s time for an audit!     I regularly check in with who is taking up space in my feed, groups, my inbox and serving me ads to make sure the noise levels are right for me, and it’s from the right people.   It’s not going to happen overnight but when you really start to analyse if who you’re following are a good, positive influence on you and your mindset...or a negative one then things will become much clearer, more focussed and more strategic, and you’re more likely to actually take action with a few less gremlins in the way.   Pick your own platforms.   Where are YOUR ideal clients?     I know everyone and his wife are saying Linkedin is the new buzz platform for 2019 for example...but if that’s not where YOUR ideal client is and you’re not looking for corporate gigs, then is it the right platform for you?  Probably not!   So there’s some noise you can cut out.     It doesn’t mean you’re saying you’re NEVER going to use it, it’s just not right for you right now.     Also where do YOU like being?     What is YOUR favourite platform to be on?  If you like using it guess what? You’re more likely to use it!     If you’re trying to do things and be in places because other people say you ‘should’ but really you don’t want to...guess what’s going to happen?   Pushing water uphill time and your friend procrastination is going to get in your way big time!     Choose people based on your values.     What do you value in a person or in a business?     For me it’s honesty, authenticity and integrity, what you see is what you get, which for me creates trust.     That’s not going to be the same for everyone, but that’s what I look for in a person to follow.     The second I get a feeling in my gut that someone doesn’t fit that bracket they’re on my unfollow list.   I was at a big business seminar for 2 days last week and it was honestly, so refreshing.     The majority of speakers sold high ticket items from the stage but they were so HONEST about it!   They didn’t try to dupe, guilt or bully anyone into buying, they didn’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, they made fun of a lot of the sleazy tactics and they didn't give you the ‘what but not the how’ and just said ‘hey, if you’ve got this problem I can solve it, here’s how, up to you, come have a chat if you’ve got any questions’.     But there was a friend I bumped into there who really didn’t like how ‘salesy’ it was, which is exactly what I mean by going for what you value, for me their honesty made it feel a lot less salesy.   I was just grateful for the honesty.     I took value from every single person speaking whether I bought from them or not.   My favourite part of it was that every speaker interacted with all the delegates, genuinely!  Not because they HAD to (which personally I always think is fairly obvious)   They wanted to meet and speak to people and acted ‘on a level’ with everyone.   What and who you saw on stage was what and who you got in person, reminding us that our heroes are human too, right!     They’re not magical unicorns, if it’s achievable for them it’s achievable for you too!   They have gone through what we’ve gone through at one point and they empathise with and respect the journey.   I was sold to, for two whole days and left feeling great about it! I’ve been to MANY events where that hasn’t been the case.   So, look through your fb groups, your insta feed, your fb friends, your inbox and get unfollowing until you have a space that’s filled with people who inspire and motivate you and makes you feel GOOD, not overwhelmed!   Next Up...Friends and family   Then there is the noise of friends and family members.   Some mean well, some not so much but really they’re usually just projecting their own fears and beliefs onto you.   Or it could be that they’re actually jealous or you could be highlighting a trait in yourself that they wish they had.     A lot of people would love to be able to back themselves to start their own business but they just don’t.   This is something I see come up time and time again from clients and friends running their businesses and it’s even something that made me quit on my first business when a comment of, ‘Fran, you really should just get a proper job’ was uttered...and I listened!   Often their comments are unhelpful.  (Here’s a few ways to handle it!)   Negative self chatter   Then there’s your own negative self talk.     This is often the loudest of all.     BUT, this is something you have control over, even if it doesn’t feel that way most of the time but you can absolutely change the way you talk to yourself.     You can increase your emotional intelligence and understand where certain thoughts may be coming from, you can create new neural pathways and literally change the way you think.     I give you a TONNE of ways you can start doing that today in previous posts  The first key to changing it is awareness.  It’s not a conversation you’re having with yourself, it’s a habit you’ve created and habits can be changed.     But when you’re running a business you don’t have time for negative self talk and it WILL make you sabotage your own success so it’s important you get it in check.   Time to choose who you’re listening to...because when you’re listening to everyone, you really are hearing no one!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
April 1, 2019
Why perspective is the key to success   Show note links:   For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/Why-perspective-is-the-key-to-success For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   Why perspective is the key to success   So much in life and in your business is all down to perspective. It really is a key skill that if you learn it, can propel you to success in business AND in life.     According to the Oxford Dictionary Perspective is ‘A particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view’.   It’s also a ‘True understanding of the relative importance of things; a sense of proportion’.   Essentially it’s a way of thinking.   One is where you look at things based on your own experiences, values and beliefs.  And the other is when you put things into perspective by creating a comparison to make sure you’re looking at things from all angles to create an accurate opinion.   BOTH are hugely important when it comes to the way you look at and the way you think about life and your business.  It’s comes under the umbrella of emotional intelligence which is essentially being able to control and understand your own emotions.   Your thoughts, as we now know, literally shape your reality through creating your feelings and unconscious beliefs.  And in turn influencing your actions, so you can see perspective is a pretty key skill to master in this game.   And one you can learn...whoop!   Based purely on your perspective, BIG things can seem small and tiny things can seem ENORMOUS...so you can see how this can have an effect on the way we’re feeling day to day.   Perhaps you think your launch has been a flop.   Or perhaps you feel like you’re not moving fast enough.   Or you’re not making enough money.   All those lovely little ‘OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, THE WORLD IS ENDING’ dramatic moments that come as part of the territory.   Whatever it may be, basically, perspective is a highly valuable life skill to master!     In good times and not so good times.   It’s certainly something I use on a daily basis and keeps me on track.   When you can master it, it can change so much for you.     The times where you’re in the weeds struggling, the times where you feel like the only one dealing with what you’re dealing with, the times when you feel like a failure!   It helps you take a step back, take out the emotion and see something for what it actually is.   Perspective cuts out the lies that you tell yourself and highlights things that are more truthful and  HELPFUL for you.   It helps you to see the opportunities that can often be right in front of you.   Without perspective it’s very easy to fall into ‘victim mode’ and nothing good ever happened from there!   It helps you open up your thinking and feeds a growth mindset so it helps drive you forwards instead of staying stuck.   I live my life believing that something good can always come from something that at the time feels or seems bad.     That is a very empowering way to live life and run a business.     The belief that everything happens for a reason, there’s always someone worse off than me, or has dealt with worse and come through the other side. Or seeing people celebrate the little wins that I might not have even acknowledged.  Very handy if you’re feeling like nothing is going right, right?!   It allows me to be more objective and not get caught up in the negative loops and spirals and take a step back and find another way to do things.  And there’s always another way to do things!   It helps us remember that the way we see things is not always the way other people see things and vice versa which helps us seek out another perspective and again, help us to move forwards.   Perspective helps you realise what is actually important...and what’s not! So often I see people tie themselves in knots over things that actually really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but when it’s you in that moment it can feel huge.     Being able to have perspective reminds you of that.     It’s like I often say, you can’t control your first thought but you CAN control your second and perspective really helps you do that, it’s a big piece of the entrepreneurial puzzle in my opinion.     It also helps you become much more resilient and help you move on more quickly with your positive pants firmly in tack.   So, if you’re not used to looking for it how do you gain it?!   Create the awareness first, then challenge the thinking and it’ll soon become a habit and your natural way of thinking.  It’ll go into that all important unconscious programming!   Here are a few questions you can ask yourself when you catch yourself in one of those negative loops or ‘why me, this is a disaster’ spirals!     What am I telling myself that this means?  About my business and about me? Is it true?   What’s really the worst case scenario?  Is it that bad? What can I do about it?   What good could potentially come from this?   In the grand scheme of things will this matter in a month, a week, a day an hour?   What could be another way of looking at this?   What’s one more thing I could do to change or improve this situation?   If my best friend was in this situation right now what would I say to them?   If you were simply a casual observer watching this situation unfold, just having a nice people watch moment, what would you see?   When we can remind ourselves that many people are worse off than us it can give us that much needed perspective to not get caught up in our own BS.   Perspective really is SUCH  a valuable skill to have and one that you can absolutely learn, because I did.  I help my clients find it, I help them change the way they think so they always choose to look for it.   If you want to change something, or change the way you think or react to something then this will help hugely.   It can be hard to do on your own at first but just keep catching yourself in those little moments where you sense a spiral coming or you feel something negative has happened and just take a minute to really put it into perspective, look for the lessons and opportunities and see how much more empowered...and relaxed...you feel.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
March 25, 2019
Watch What You Say - The Power Of Language   Show note links:   For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/Power-of-language For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   Watch What You Say - The Power Of Language   Thank you SO much for joining me, i’m very grateful you’ve chosen to pop me in your ear buds today. Please do hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss anything and do leave me a review I love, love, LOVE reading them and it really helps me get found by other people who need to hear what I share! I’d also LOVE you to email me your mindset and productivity questions or topics you’d love for me to cover for you to hello@franexcell.com because I know a lot of you think i’m inside your heads but if I don’t know what you need I can’t give it to ya!   Language is SO freaking powerful and we completely underestimate how it can shape our world and we can really take its power for granted.   In this post I'm going to be merely scratching the surface of what’s possible for you when you can learn to master the words you use. Some serious power Words have the power to create images and thoughts in your mind AND the mind of whoever you’re talking to.   Language can affect the way you feel about something.  It can elicit emotions which will affect your actions, and the majority of this happens on an unconscious level.   The words we use can GIVE us power or take it away in an instant. For example I can vs I can’t.   They can pull us forward or keep us stuck exactly where we are.   The words we use can and DO shape our reality.   When we truly understand this power, that we all have access to, we can completely change our worlds and create new ones that serve us far better.   Awesome right?   What do you mean? Nothing really has any meaning apart from the meaning YOU give it.  What do I mean by this?   We all take something different from someone's words based on our own maps of the world.     What means one thing to you can mean something totally different to another person.     Politicians are a great example of this.  They use language where each person listening will take something completely different from it, enabling them to influence a nation without REALLY saying anything at all.     Sorry to bring it up but take Brexit and Trump.  ‘Take Back Control’ and ‘Make America Great Again’ what does that actually mean?  It means something COMPLETELY different to every single person listening to it so you can see how it could be easy to get people behind the ‘message’!   We ASSUME a huge amount based on language that we use. We also read other people’s minds and hear what we think they’ve said, not necessarily what they HAVE said! It’s all just words! Your words and thoughts become the ‘stories’ that you tell yourself.     The stories you tell yourself become your beliefs and your beliefs form the kind of actions you will and won’t take and that then becomes your reality.   When you’re aware of this you can choose to look at things from many other angles that you just wouldn’t have seen before and choose which way is going to serve you best. I don’t want... We talk so much about what we DON’T want and when we do that that’s exactly where the focus goes.     And I’m sure you know by now where focus goes energy flows so guess what happens! You get exactly what you said you would, a big old ‘see, I told you’ and then it’s reinforced in a loop that what you believe is fact and then come the self fulfilling prophecies.     Something else to be aware of is your brain also doesn’t hear the word ‘don’t’. So, say you’re telling yourself,‘I don’t want to fail’ you’re actually programming ‘I want to fail’ into your brain.   The words ‘fail’ and ‘failure’ are an episode in themselves   The example that’s often used for this is ‘Don’t think of a pink elephant’ what can you see right now?     Same thing when someone's carrying a hot drink and someone says ‘don’t spill it’ then what tends to happen?   The things we say instantly transfer into images.  So when you hear don’t spill your tea, you get an image of yourself spilling your tea as if it’s already happened and you’re programming into your mind that that is what you want to happen.   The way to get around this is to catch ourselves in those don’t moments and change it to what we do want. A few simple switcheroos for you   Start to try and notice when you’re using these, challenge yourself with a little switch up and see how it feels!  Little changes...big difference!   Instead of ‘I can’t’ how about ‘I can’t YET’ or asking yourself ‘How can I’? Open your thinking to opportunities rather than closing them off.   Instead of ‘Should’ how about ‘could’? The word should is racked with guilt and a little bit of shame thrown in for good measure, it takes power away from YOU.   Instead of ‘Could’ how about ‘can’ Take it one step further and show yourself what’s possible.  Using can shows you!   Instead of ‘Have to’ how about ‘Get to’. We can moan a lot about certain things and when you ‘have’ to do something it suggests you don’t really want to but also takes away your feeling of choice.  We do have a choice. Even in things we don’t think we do. For example, I have to pay X bill. You actually don’t. There are consequences sure but plenty of people don’t!   Instead of ‘I can’t afford it’ how about ‘It’s not a priority’ Instead of ‘I don’t have time’ how about ‘It’s not a priority’ These two are part and parcel.  We can find time and find money for the things that are truly a priority for us, so give yourself your power back and appreciate the choice! The more you tell yourself you can’t afford it or you don’t have time the more evidence you’re going to find to support that.   Instead of ‘Never’ and ‘always’ how about ‘sometimes’?  Challenge when you use these words because you’re telling yourself something is fact when it’s usually not at all. Again, it’s giving you some power back, opens you up to possibility and opportunity rather than shutting things down as fact where you wouldn’t even LOOK for another way.   Challenge negative ‘I am’ statements. Attaching something to your identity is a limiting belief.  For example, ‘I am stupid’ or ‘I am a failure’. Really? Has there been a time you’ve known that to not be true?  Exam results? Getting a job? Doing something creative? It could be anything.   Notice when you’re attaching a meaning to something.  For example, ‘not hitting my target means I’m a failure’.  This is just dying to be challenged!   A similar one is, ‘If X happens then Y happens’.  For example, ‘if I don’t hit my revenue target on my launch then my business is a failure and I'll have to get a job’ Really??   You can see just how easy it is for a couple of words to completely change a situation for you and how quickly those words can turn into a hard and fast belief which WILL affect the actions you take and create your reality.   Like I said, this is literally scratching the surface so what i’d love for you to do is just start to notice these and start using the switcheroos and see what a difference it makes.  It can be hard to notice these on your own which is where coaching is amazing for holding up that mirror but the more you practice the better at it you’ll get and you’ll change your language habits and then...your world! Woohoo!   If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Mastermind and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now!   Fx
March 18, 2019
My story...And How It Relates To You!    Show note links:   For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/My-story For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   My story...and what it means for you   Thank you SO much for joining me, i’m very grateful you’ve chosen to pop me in your ear buds today. Please do hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss anything and do leave me a review I love, love, LOVE reading them and it really helps me get found by other people who need to hear what I share! I’d also LOVE you to email me your mindset and productivity questions or topics you’d love for me to cover for you to hello@franexcell.com because I know a lot of you think i’m inside your heads but if I don’t know what you need I can’t give it to ya!   Recently when I put a post out in my insta stories (If you’re not following me already head over to @franexcellcoach pronto!) asking what people wanted to hear from me and my story was a clear winner.     And one i’d shied away from for a while.   I share tidbits of who I was before my mindset jiggery pokery and who I am now but there are some hefty chunks I miss out.   Partly because so much of it really isn’t just my story to tell so in all honesty I didn’t know how to and i’m sure many of you can relate to that.     Partly because so many people have been through SO much worse and I think it’s always important to keep that perspective, but at the end of the day your story is your story and it shapes who you are and it’s not really about comparing.     It’s your programming, it’s the wiring in your brain, it’s how your world is shaped.   But mainly because I felt that people didn’t NEED to know a lot of it because what I do is about them, not me.     It’s got nothing to do with helping people push through the inevitable mindset gremlins to take action in their business and build a life that they actually love living right?   But then I thought...but what if it does!?   What if some of the things I’ve been through and how I’ve dealt with the belief systems and thought processes it left me with can help someone else going through or who’s been through similar?   At the end of the day our personal lives and the way we think about ourselves and what we believe we’re capable of is inextricably linked to things we’ve been through in the past and what we go through in the present.   It’s why in my mastermind (The Proactive Pants Mastermind) the personal ‘stuff’ is talked about JUST as much as the business element.     When we have things going on personally now, or in the past, it can and inevitably WILL affect your business, so it’s important to deal with it all as a whole.   When 95-99% of what we do is running on autopilot, automatic thought patterns and belief systems, then knowing the things that could be holding you back are going to be REALLY helpful right?     Especially when we haven’t linked the two together which SO often happens.   So I’ll risk it for a biscuit in the hope that it helps even one person.   Now, i’ll try not to give my ENTIRE life story but the cliff notes of what i’ve felt has been important in shaping who I am today.   So much of our programming happens when we’re young.  The main imprinting stage is 0-7 but when we’re like sponges taking in everything around us without as much of the rational conscious mind analysing it all but we all know how much of an effect our teenage years can have on us.     My teenage years were really good on the most part, I have an incredible supportive family but I was very shy and had a crippling case of the ‘I’m not good enoughs’ which was only exacerbated by being bullied at school, like so many of us are.   Mostly I was bullied for the way I looked. Or who I was as a person.  The irony is that the second one was always from people who really didn't know me AT ALL but you just don’t make that link at that age.   What this did was lead me to the belief system that to be liked I had to be attractive, that how I looked was directly linked to being good enough and being worthy of other peoples’ friendship.     Never mind the fact that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and every person truly does see something different, my belief was that I had to be a certain way and look a certain way to be accepted and liked. I didn't think I fit that mold.      I believe as a result of this I struggled with eating disorders and continued to yoyo between ‘you’re too fat’ and ‘you’re too thin’ in a cycle of self loathing, probably until I was about 30 when I started to really work on it and thankfully had a husband who literally thought I was the most beautiful thing on the planet so that helped and really highlights to me the importance of being with the right person.   I kept repeating the same patterns of extreme dieting and comfort eating.     What this of course did was kept me in an eternal loop of thinking I wasn’t ‘thin’ enough or I was ‘too thin’ to be attractive and therefore liked and accepted and meant I had incredibly low self esteem.   Something that also really contributed to the lack of self worth and belief that being liked was directly linked to the way I looked was being in an emotionally abusive relationship for over 3 years.   Being stood in the mirror and told ‘see, I told you your ar** was bigger than mine’ and being told I ‘looked better thinner’ consistently reinforced my beliefs.   But I realise now that I only attracted that relationship because that’s where my self worth already was.     I believed I didn’t deserve to be treated any better, that I should be grateful that anybody wanted to be in a relationship with me in the first place.   My feelings of not being good enough, self worth and confidence were on the floor but I know now that because it was what I expected, my brain looked for all the evidence to prove that it’s true, in the form of someone who was constantly reinforcing those beliefs.     I needed to work on my belief systems around all of that and my fear of what other people thought and of not being good enough or worthy.   Now to quickly relate this back to your business...Do you think someone feeling that way would be able to get on video and social media and put themselves out there for the world to judge?     To be able to stand firm in their knowledge and opinions knowing not everyone is going to feel the same?     To go to networking events and talk to strangers?   To launch service based products?   To charge their worth?     Or could someone with those beliefs struggle with feeling like an imposter, compare themselves to others, undercharge, self sabotage and make excuses?   Can you see how important it is for us to work on these underlying beliefs because the pattern spills out and repeats itself in all other areas of our lives?   When you align your thoughts, beliefs and actions that’s where the magic happens but you can take all the action you like and if underneath it all you believe it’s not for you then you’ll feel like you’re pushing water uphill and wonder why you’re doing all the things and it just feels so damn hard and like you’re not getting anywhere.   When you work on changing those belief systems and challenge those thought processes you can completely change how you view everything, which is what I did.     Now, through the work I’ve done on my mindset If someone doesn’t like me that’s cool, no problemmo, i’m not for everybody but there are some people I AM for and those are the ones I focus on and the ones I can help and I certainly don’t link it to how I look and I’m 100% comfortable with who I am as a person so it truly doesn’t bother me at all.   Much easier way to be right?   Next thing I want to talk about briefly is the fact that I was an incredibly anxious and stupendously negative person.   There is a reason I refer to myself as a former Eeyore on a bad day.   I was always trapped in victim mode wondering why me in this little bubble of ‘not my fault’.     Feeling like I wasn’t in control of my own outcomes.     I’d think the worst in any situation as a means of self preservation but I was just creating self fulfilling prophecies.     When things went wrong it was ‘see, I told you so’ but knowing what I know now I see how destructive that was.   As part of my anxiety I catastrophised everything.     But what I was doing was creating that as a reality in my body and wiring it into my brain.  The mind and body are a linked system and the brain doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined so I was physiologically making these thoughts real and affecting my health.   Now I know I was essentially putting everything in place for my brain to prove me right.  It was trying to protect me but in doing so was really holding me back.   At the height of my anxiety we lost almost everything. This is the part that really isn’t just my story to tell but the need to know stuff is it was ironically my trigger point for where I am now and became something that i’m actually very grateful for.  Where we are now versus where we would have been had it not happened is waaaaaay better!   We ended up having to move in with my mother in law while we picked ourselves back up.     The day I went into the doctors about my bad knees and came out with antidepressants, which I never took, was my turning point. I went down the rabbit hole of personal development and decided I could get myself out of the hole I was in.   And that led me here! Now for FUN I study psychology, neuroscience, quantum and metaphysics, I read over 100 books per year in personal development, science and marketing and like to collect qualifications and i’ve never felt more me.  It’s not for everyone and that’s fine.   I am 100% myself and am so comfortable with that it doesn’t bother me if people don’t like me.     I choose to surround myself with the right people and people who lift me up and I can lift up, of course there's a sting when someone is negative or doesn’t like me because I like to be liked and i’m human.  But it doesn’t stay with me.   When negative things happen I can always find another more positive way to look at it.  It can sting, but it doesn’t stay with me.   I can put myself out   So I hope what you can take from this is we all have a story that affects how we run all areas of our lives.     It shapes who we are but you get to re-write yours at any point you choose.     You get to say the past is the past, I shape my future and I’m going to live in my present. Who you are today doesn’t have to be who you are tomorrow.   You can choose to stay ‘safe’ in your comfort zone with the thoughts that make you self sabotage, make you feel frustrated and like there’s something wrong with you and make things feel ten times harder...or you can choose to change it and say NO, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m capable of more, I want more and I deserve more.   If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Mastermind and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now! Fx
March 11, 2019
When Life Happens and You’ve Got to show up!   Show note links:   For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/Life-Happens For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach   When Life Happens and You’ve Got to show up!   Thank you SO much for joining me, i’m very grateful you’ve chosen to pop me in your ear buds today. Please do hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss anything and do leave me a review I love, love, LOVE reading them and it really helps me get found by other people who need to hear what I share! I’d also LOVE you to email me your mindset and productivity questions or topics you’d love for me to cover for you to hello@franexcell.com because I know a lot of you think i’m inside your heads but if I don’t know what you need I can’t give it to ya!   We’ve all been there. We’ve got a TONNE to do and then….life happens.   A spanner in the works, the proverbial hitting the fan if you will.   We can slip right back into the negative thought patterns we’ve been trying to break and it affects every other area of our lives.   This is something that has been coming up a huge amount at the moment, with clients and in other membership groups I’m a part of.   And with full transparency, because I’d be doing you a disservice by not sharing, this is something I’ve been dealing with myself this week after some bad news from home, on top of some other not so great news!   In a week where I have two speaking gigs, my glorious clients to show up for and all sorts else on that I want to make sure I show up as my best self for so I pulled out all the stops on my mindset party tricks but I also allowed myself a moment! A few days in fact.   So it got me pondering about what I wanted to share with you, what you can take from it and to talk you through some of the things I do when ‘life happens’.   Because the thing is, life happens to all of us at some point.   It could be something big like receiving some bad news in your personal life, an unexpected obstacle, someone’s let you down or something smaller that ends up feeling huge like those little annoyances that throw you off track but then another happens, and another happens.  It could be a number of things but they can all have the same effect over how we then show up for ourselves and our businesses.   The two key things I’ve been seeing is firstly, people beating themselves up for not ‘thinking positively’ and being annoyed and frustrated at themselves for not being able to ‘snap out of it’ before they’ve actually looked at the problem head on.   And the second is guilt associated with not feeling able to show up for their business.  Especially when the industry keeps telling them to be consistent leaving them feeling like everything will fall to pieces if they don’t get a blog or an Instagram post out one week. It’s really easy to feel the pressure at times like this.     Now the first thing I want to talk about is the frustration about not being positive polly.     As i’ve said before being positive 100% of the time is not what this stuff is about and it’s not sustainable so please, please don’t feel like you’ve failed if you’re having a bad day!  (Read more about my thoughts on that here episode 16)   I’ve also talked about the importance of feeling your feelings (episode 35) before and how when we suppress and desperately try to get out of a negative headspace before we’ve actually dealt with it head on it WILL show up elsewhere.   Sometimes you really do need a minute to process, to sushi roll into the duvet and just do nothing.   Your brain will make you procrastinate as a way of trying to get you to rest when you need to.  You’ll know it’s because you need a break rather than you’re just avoiding something too because it feels different.     For me instead of the ‘I’m going to clean the whole house including the fridge’ procrastination, it’s more of an ‘I really want to do absolutely nothing and i’ve checked out’ kind of feeling.  I really do just want to watch Netflix and actually CHILL!   The next thing to acknowledge in terms of the ‘guilt’ around not getting work done...When you’re in this frame of mind trying to do your work or make decisions is going to feel like pushing water uphill.     So for me, I let go.  I just let go, know I’m not going to be productive, accept it and look after myself for a bit, with a time limit! That’s the important bit.     Work out what you have on, what really actually HAS to be done by when and then just give yourself a time limit to do nothing, to deal with what’s going on in a way that’s useful for you (not simply dwelling and making it worse!), give yourself a break, guilt free! Sounds simple….because it is!   So the things i’ve been doing to allow myself to feel the feels but NOT dwell and stay there look a little like this:   Self care   I have been alllllll about the self care.  Making sure I get more sleep, bubble baths, meditation, reading, feeding my mind with positive things like inspirational podcasts and generally being in tune with what my body and my mind need in that moment, basically I LISTENED to myself.  Your mind and body are a linked system so when you can actually tune into it, what your thoughts are saying, how you’re physically feeling you can start to work with it that much better!   Getting in nature   I know you’ll hear this SO often it’s become a bit of a cliche but SERIOUSLY there’s a reason so many people talk about it.  Lots of dog walks, lots of views, the woods, the canal, fresh air and MOVEMENT. I love a mindful walk, it’s great for shifting your focus and ramping up those feelings of gratitude.  It’s super easy to do. Just really start to notice everything around you and I like to do it sense by sense. What do I hear, what do I see, what do I smell, what can I feel. It’s basically a form of walking meditation and does wonders for the brain webs!   Talking to people   It’s so easy to retreat into yourself when you’re dealing with emotions but I know that does me no good.  I’m a talker...in case you haven’t noticed. I’ve been arranging to see, talk to or just message some of my favourite people who always lift me up and can shift my focus to where I want it to be.  This helps with gratitude again too, what and who you’re grateful to have in your life.   Chill out time   I’ve allowed myself some super chill time! My brain has kindly informed me I need to take it easy so that’s exactly what i’ve done.   Remember that the things that don’t go to plan or the obstacles that get in your way really help you build your resilience and your ability to bounce back even more quickly next time.   Music Music is one of the fastest mood shifter and focus changers for me.  My car is basically my own personal performance space.   I have 2 playlists, one is called ‘sing along’ and one is called ‘mood lifters’.  They are game changers for me. I know when I need to belt out a bit of Disney or ‘eternal flame’ and when I need to just listen to something that makes me smile and want to move.  Both excellent state shifters.   You can’t make good decisions or be your most productive self from a negative state so it’s important to shift your state. (More tips in episode 6)   It’s important to sit with your thoughts, in a useful way, and ask yourself some important questions such as ‘Is there anything I can actually do about this?’, ‘What can I control?’, ‘What can’t I control?’ if there is something you can do, do it.  If there’s not then that’s ok, feel what you feel, acknowledge there's nothing you can actually do, look for the gratitude you can find in the situation (there will be something there!) and then follow some of the steps above!   When life happens, life happens.  You’ll get through it, often coming out the other side stronger and more resilient but in the meantime please please don’t beat yourself up or feel guilty because it only does you harm.  Listen to yourself and what you need and know that it won’t be this way forever.   If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Mastermind and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now!   Fx
March 4, 2019
Don’t Fear the haters   Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/Haters For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Don’t Fear the haters   Do you not put certain things out because of fear of what ‘haters’ or ‘trolls’ might say?   Do you worry about people criticizing what you have to say or being downright mean?     Is it about what you’re saying?  Your services or products themselves?  How you look? How you sound? All of the above?   Yikes!!   It’s really scary putting your work, or yourself out there for all the world to see and judge.     It was one of the biggest mindset gremlins that made me subconsciously look for all the excuses under the sun to quit on my jewellery business 5 years ago.   What if they don’t like me?   What if they think I’m not pretty enough, thin enough or clever enough...and actually SAY so!?! PUBLICLY!!   I get it, totally! I feel you!   BUT how far do you think it’s going to get you?   The sad reality is it’s probably going to happen at some point.     The digital space has made it all too easy for keyboard warriors to sit behind their screen in their pants anonymously and revel in trying to take other people down.   A fear of judgement, criticism or a fear of being wrong are 2 of the biggest reasons people don’t do the things that will make them visible.   I would have DEFINITELY been one of those people.  I spent my entire life caring too much about what other people think of me.   I honestly get it.   However, now is a different story.   I think about those people and those comments VERY differently and I hope this can help you do the same.   There are a couple of reasons why.   Firstly.  As I talked about in my previous episode (42) on perfectionism it’s IMPOSSIBLE for 100% of people to agree with you 100% of the time.     It just doesn’t happen, so there WILL be people who don’t like what you have to say.  But they are NOT your people!   And that’s absolutely fine.     They’ll go off and follow someone who echoes what they DO want to hear.   No problemmo right?     They were never going to buy from you or help spread your message anyway.   But the biggie that I really want you to understand and remember is this.     Hurt people, hurt people.   Let it sink in.   I’ve said this before too.      People who are happy with their lives and themselves do NOT sit on the other side of a computer or a phone waiting to, or revelling in, writing intentionally hurtful comments on people’s Facebook posts, or Youtube videos or Instagram posts.  Whatever medium you’re on.   They just don’t.   So the way I choose to look at it is through eyes of sympathy.   Eyes of empathy.   I call it empathy over anger.   Those situations where your natural instinct would be to be angry or hurt but instead you remind yourself of this and empathise, even feel sorry for that person.   What must be going on for them in their lives that they feel the need to behave in that way?   That they even have that aspect as a part of their personality!   I mean...do any of your friends behave in that way?   If they do I would have a little look at who you’re spending your time with but NO!   Constructive criticism is another matter and if that’s something you think about then it might be worth asking yourself why.     Do you feel like an impostor (episode 17)?  Do you not back your opinions and are scared of being ‘wrong’? Do you fear people Judging you?   The thing with judgement (episode 28) is you only ever judge people on things you judge yourself for.     Ask yourself the question and have a bit of a journal and see what comes up.   At the end of the day constructive criticism is just that, it’s CONSTRUCTIVE, it’s useful and something you can learn and grow from.    Nasty comments purely for the sake of it is very different so it’s important to understand the difference and which is the one really holding you back.   Taking all of this into account, does that person’s opinion really matter?     Does it actually count for anything?   It’s FAR more about them than it is about you so you can choose to delete, block and move on if you like it’s totally up to you.   Or you can respond with love, ‘Thanks for your opinion I really appreciate you taking the time to read my content, sending you love!’   Or you can go back with a pithy one liner if you like.   Either way, they’re not getting what they want...so they’ll move on!   It’s down to you to read the situation and do what’s best to help you move on and not be affected by it.   You can also thank them for boosting the algorithms for you ha!   Don’t give them what they want.   Laugh it off.   I don’t think there’s ever been an example where someone successful DIDN’T have negative comments at some point so use it to fuel you.   The bigger your audience is the more you’ll potentially get.     People talk about polarisation in business and with that you will have one camp who agree and love what you have to say and one camp who don’t!!   As humans we are wired to focus on the negative.     So that one negative comment can throw off multiple great ones.     I keep a little ‘love’ folder in my phone where I screenshot lovely things that people say.     In those moments where you feel something or someone negative weighing you down you can look through and remind yourself that negative comment really doesn’t matter.     It’s tomorrow’s chip paper! (For any of my non-UK based audience we used to wrap our fish and chips in newspaper.  So this means it may be todays news but it’s tomorrow's chip paper and it won’t be bothering you or them anymore so why let it bother you now! One of many of my favourite phrases ha!)   You actually WANT to repel the people that don’t agree, that don’t ‘get’ you. When you have that as your goal you’re not going to worry about the people that DON’T like you anywhere NEAR as much as you do right now.   It’s a WIN if they go away and don’t like what you have to say...because they’re not your ideal client anyway!   When you can think differently about the haters (that let’s be honest, don’t even exist yet! Head over here if you’re overthinking THAT one! - episode 12)  you will feel so much more empowered and confident to put yourself out there.     To launch the thing you’ve been thinking about and wanting for aaaages but putting off.   That course, that Youtube channel, that book, that Podcast, whatever you have a calling to create but you’ve been having your foot on the gas and the break at the same time for fear of what people might say.   Don’t fear the haters...love on them! It shows you’re probably doing it right ;-)   If you know that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then please book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!!   Fx
February 25, 2019
How to create focus in your business   Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/How-to-focus For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   How to create more focus in your business   Do you have focus in your business?     Or….more of a scattergun approach of doing all the things all the time with all the tabs open and feeling like you’re not getting ANYTHING done?   You’re not alone!   Creating or having focus is something I think we MASSIVELY over complicate and is often a symptom of overwhelm.   Let’s be honest here, you KNOW the tasks that you REALLY should be focusing on…you’re just choosing to do the other ones.     The ones I call the ‘busy being busy’ tasks.   Now, there are a LOT of reasons we might be doing this.     Overwhelm, procrastination, fear of success, fear of failure, shiny object syndrome, fear of what actually getting what you want may bring into your life or take away from it and feeling like you have to be in all the places...the list goes on and on.   SO, we’re going to reign it in right now and KISS it goodbye.     Huh? ‘What the fudge are you talking about Fran?!’     KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid.     This is something I say a LOT.  In the Proactive Pants Mastermind, to clients, to friends and to myself.   I always ask myself, ‘What if it were simple?’   As a previous serial over complicator I’m ohttps://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/n a mission to simplify things so that’s what we’re going to do.   First we have to break down all the things you’re currently doing and what you do actually NEED on that list and what can go straight away.   What are you trying to achieve with each task?     How does it fit into the big picture?   Next, based on Pareto’s 80:20 principle where 80% of your results come from 20% of your actions, highlight the activities that directly move the needle in your business.     What tasks could actually create revenue for you?     What tasks could create audience growth for you?     Essentially, that’s where your focus should be!  Makes sense right?!   Do the things that will make the difference.   Every week work out, based on your answers to those questions, what your tasks are going to be for THAT week (with the bigger picture in mind but not dominating or distracting)   Every day pick 3 things that will move you closer to your end goal for that week.   If you have time for more, awesome, if not...you’ve done at least 15 things that will be moving you closer to your goal.   Schedule, schedule, schedule.     If you’ve been following me for a while you know how much I love a schedule.     If it ain’t in the diary, it ain’t happening! Make it easy on yourself.     Break your day down into chunks so you’re not constantly distracted.   A time for email, a time for content creation, a time for life admin, a time to mindlessly scroll your newsfeed.     Yep...even that!     When you know you have time in for it you’re much less likely to do it when you want to concentrate on something else….you may even find you don’t even WANT to do it and just get back to being the awesome productive person that you are ;-).   Be so freaking intentional with and protective of your time.  (Here’s 13 ways to find more time in your day)   Don’t sweat the small stuff and let it shift your focus.     Where focus goes energy flows so when you’re focusing on things that aren’t going so well you’re losing sight of the things that are.  Half the time those things, upon closer inspection, really don’t matter all that much anyway!   When you find yourself going down that road use your awareness to get yourself out of it and remind yourself of all the things that ARE going well and get excited about all the good things that are still to come.   Watch out for the forks in the road   Work out what might get in the way of you achieving your goals and find a work around BEFORE it ever becomes an issue.   Don’t confuse this with thinking the worst or being negative, it’s knowing you can always find a solution and a way forward.   It’s resilience and behavioural flexibility.  BOTH of which are a winning combination in business.   Set your goal and brainstorm what might get in your way and try and think of 3 potential ways past any obstacles that might come up for you.   Then you hopefully won’t have any nasty surprises, you’ll feel totally prepared and you’ll KNOW it all leads to a good outcome. Whoop!     Keep that vision in mind.     Always, always, always know what you’re working towards and why.     Remind yourself what having it could bring into your life and why you want it.   Make sure you have a clearly mapped out plan with your goals laid out so it’s super clear how you’re going to get where you’re going.     Fail to plan, plan to fail.     If you’re not clear and focused in your vision, how to you expect to stay clear and focused when you’re working towards it?   Set it out, but then let go of the attachment to it.   Your plan is in place, you don’t need to worry about it.  The harder you push the harder it gets, just follow the plan.   Oh so shiny   Use your awareness to be super sensitive to the thoughts that can veer you off track and send you down the road of shiny object syndrome thinking you have to master everything all at once.   If you feel yourself going down that road ask yourself if you’ve given yourself/a strategy enough time to work before you move onto another one. Be HONEST with yourself.  Check in with your original plan.   Turn around once in a while   Regularly check back on how far you’ve come.     No matter how much you feel in the moment like you’re not getting anywhere you will have made a TONNE of progress that you’ve just not acknowledged.   Take the time to celebrate.   Check in with what you’ve done that previously you didn't think you could, what have you learned, what have you created.     Be proud of yourself for what you’re doing and remind yourself why the focus is important.   Have someone to be accountable to.     Make it easy on yourself.  When you have someone else keeping you on track and someone you’re answering to guess what...you’re more focused!   It’s exactly what I help with in my mastermind.  Create and keep that focus, get rid of overwhelm and know you’re never more than a week away from solving a problem.  If that sounds like something you want in YOUR business then apply now.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
February 18, 2019
How to stay motivated   Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/maintain-motivation For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables How to stay motivated   I get asked a lot about how you can maintain motivation while going after your goals, even through the tough bits.   When you start you get that initial burst of motivation when you get all excited and fired up to achieve what you want and then all of a sudden when you start taking action, the goal can seem bigger and bigger and harder and harder and when all the little things seem to be piling up or going wrong that initial motivation begins to wane.     Basically, It becomes more difficult to keep that motivation going as the excitement lessens and the obstacles and mindset gremlins get in your way.   There isn’t the magic pill everybody seems to want I’m afraid, BUT, there are definitely a few things that will really help you on your way.   The first thing to know really is…   Are you actually excited about what you’re doing?   You ‘ideally’ need to be excited about what you’re doing and to remember WHY you’re doing it because of course those are two pretty big keys to staying in the motivation zone and OUT of the procrastination zone so make sure you’re regularly asking yourself and reminding yourself of those.   Are you really SUPER clear on what you’re actually working towards?   If you can CLEARLY visualise (episode 25) what you’re working towards it will make it so SO much easier to work towards it.   Remember the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and what’s imagined so when you marinate alll up in that vision you will feel all the feelings that you’ll have when you get there.     That’s some serious motivation there.     What will you feel like?  What will your life be like?  Where will you be? WHO will you be? What will having it bring into your life?   Next…   Do you believe you can actually achieve it?   You need a little confidence that you’re actually going to achieve it.   At the end of the day if it’s possible for someone, anyone, else then it’s possible for you.     We have the same 24 hours in the day and days in the week.  Pretty much everything that someone else is doing can be learned….including confidence!(Episode 3)   You have all the resources you need, you were born with them just like everyone else.     You just need to know how to work with what you’ve got.     Look around you for all the evidence that it IS absolutely possible, because it’s there I promise you!     When you REALLY know that and trust that, then the motivation comes.   What actually makes YOU feel motivated?     It’s personal for everyone.  Are you intrinsically or extrinsically motivated?  Or both?   Intrinsic motivation is all about what drives you from within.   If you’re intrinsically motivated you will be pulled forwards by a higher purpose, a desire to fulfill your potential and a sense of achievement.   Doing something purely for the love of it.   Extrinsic motivation is where you’re driven by things outside of yourself.  Recognition from others, numbers or money for example.   There is absolutely no right or wrong here, it just helps to know what drives you because it will help you stay motivated.   It could be one, it could be the other or it could be a mix of both!   If you’re extrinsically motivated it can be REALLY helpful to reward yourself for the little achievements along the way.     I’m both for sure.  Put it this way, Alex Monroe has done VERY well out of me and my little milestones over the years and those little lovelies really motivate me to hit my goals and serve as a constant reminder of what I can achieve...so why not?!   If you’re intrinsically motivated it’s really helpful to remind yourself of who and how you can help and stay connected to what that means for your own sense of fulfillment and sense of purpose.   Pain vs pleasure   As humans we tend to move away from pain and towards pleasure.     So you can see that when we get excited about something it’s easy to stay motivated because we’re going towards pleasure.     However, as soon as there’s an obstacle or fork in the road it becomes more difficult and our instincts can be to go back towards our comfort zone away from pain and back to pleasure.   BUT, when you know what staying in your comfort zone (Episode 51) costs you and how we learn and change (Episode 53) it becomes much easier to motivate yourself through the wobbly times because you know what’s on the other side.   What’s your manifesto?   If you don’t have one, create one!   What do you stand for?     What will you and won’t you tolerate?   (Episode 39)     Create it, make it pretty, stick it up on your wall and look at it daily to connect you with your end goal, what you’re creating for yourself and use it to drive you forward.   Are you flexible and adaptable?   Behavioural flexibility and resilience (Episode 5) is something to keep in your back pocket at all times.     It’s one of the keys to success and will mean that when you get stuck down one path you’ll look for another so you won’t have that same demotivated ‘stuckness’ where you’re not sure where to turn.     This is where having a mentor can REALLY help.     For all the wobbly times where motivation seems to have disappeared! What can you do differently?   When you can stop fearing failure (Episode 29) a whole world will open up for you.   If you can look at failure as par for the course and just a way to get feedback and experiment to find what does or doesn’t work for you then you’ll be far more motivated to carry on.   What’s your environment like?   Are you surrounded by mess and disorganisation?     Your environment has a HUGE effect on your motivation...Marie Kondo the heck out of your workspace pronto and make it somewhere you really WANT to be, a space that actually inspires you!   What’s distracting you?   Be really aware of when you may be slipping into procrastination mode and know your way out.  I have a tonne of ideas for you right here. (Episode 2)   Make sure you’re eliminating all those oh so enticing things that distract you from the end goal.   What can you outsource?   If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I’m a BIG fan of outsourcing.     ESPECIALLY if it’s tasks that aren’t within your zone of genius or you just don’t enjoy doing them.     Guess what happens when that’s the case?!   Yup, you will avoid the tasks and not get anywhere fast other than frustrated with yourself.   Having a little team around you who are bought into your ideas and motivated to help you achieve them can be an amazing way to stay on track too.   Lastly but not leastly!!   Seriously.  Get yourself a mentor.  You can see just how much easier this can be when you have a personal cheerleader and chief b*tt kicker in your corner.     Whether that’s me, someone else or your mum it doesn’t matter...just find SOMEONE who is going to keep you accountable because you won’t be 100% motivated 100% of the time, and that’s ok.     It’s just about getting you back on track, knowing the strategies to avoid losing your motivation in the first place or to help you get it back when you have lost it.  Then you’re good to go!   On that note, my prices are going up considerably at the end of February for my 1:1 services and the Proactive Pants Mastermind so if you’ve been thinking about it at all then book in a call.  I’m often asked if I work with men and I know I have a lot of male listeners, the answer is yes, I do for my 1:1 but not in my group programmes.   Fx
February 11, 2019
What stress does to you   Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/the-thing-about-stress For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables What stress does to you   Stress is something that can catch us all at one point or another no matter the job/business/industry.   Having attended a huge conference for entrepreneurs in the UK back in November and through working with female business owners something has become very clear to me.   Too many people running their own businesses are STRESSED!     I mean we all know it can be stressful juggling and running a business but it almost feels like it’s just accepted as the norm, as part and parcel of chasing your dreams, or even worn as a badge of honour.   They’re MORE stressed than when they were in their jobs. It’s almost as if it’s accepted to be par for the course of owning your own business that you head towards burnout on a daily basis.   But what if we just let go. What if it didn’t HAVE to be that way...that would be nicer right? Maybe even more fun?   In previous blog posts i’ve talked about a lot of things that contribute to (Overwhelm, Procrastination, Perfectionism, Lack of certainty to name a few) and can help ease stress (Mindfulness, Visualisation, Journaling, Gratitude, Reframing, Kindness) but I want to just highlight a couple of things that I feel are really important to understand.   Stress can be literally dangerous to your health.   In certain situations stress CAN be good for you don’t get me wrong, in terms of an extra boost of motivation, or saving your life from a rogue lion but when there is no real imminent danger or threat and you’re living your life in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety it’s very much in the NOT good for you camp.     It’s a natural reaction and very normal but what we want is to be able to limit it and not let it get out of control. As I often say, you can’t control your first reaction but you CAN control your second.   Unfortunately your body doesn’t really tell the difference very well between emotional ‘threats’ and actual real life danger physical threats so you get stress hormones, Cortisol and Adrenaline, running through your body either way. Which, over time, can have huge detrimental effects on your overall health.   Over time stress has a big effect on your body.     It can affect pretty much every area.  All your energy is constantly going to the key areas to help with ‘fight or flight’ which means energy and attention is taken away from other key systems and processes you need in your body.   For example, when you’re stressed a lot you tend to get ill, have a bad stomach, headaches, sleep issues, pains in your body, extreme tiredness, you also have an increased risk of heart attack among many other things.  So, many physical symptoms from quite an emotional response.   Other effects of stress on the body is heart disease, high blood pressure, physical aches and pains, loss of sex drive, stomach issues, insomnia among a tonne of other things that it can CAUSE you to do.  Think overeating, not eating enough, too much alcohol, smoking, snapping at people, withdrawing from people...essentially numbing out!   The danger is also stress turning into full on burnout which can wreak havoc for entrepreneurs (and anyone really!) and can leave you floored for weeks, sometimes much longer.   It’s also not just you it affects, it affects your loved ones too.  It might make you irritable, forgetful, hindering your ability to concentrate.   There are also a LOT of simple things you can implement in your life that will calm this response down and be able to act as an intervention when you’re really feeling it!   Meditation and Mindfulness   Who is this helping   4-7-8-3 and other mindful breathing techniques. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, breathe out for a count of 8 and repeat 3 times.  This always grounds me and brings me back to the calm place I want to be.   Get out of overwhelm with the scary brain dump to do list and outsource anything not in your zone of genius.   Self care!   Exercise and eat right!  I know it sounds really boring and like a broken record but it makes SUCH a difference.  Find an exercise that’s right for you, even if it’s walking and eating the right foods will make a world of difference.   Set yourself a resource anchor for a different state. So when you feel stress, access a time you felt totally calm, or happy, or in control, whatever you may want to feel instead that would be helpful for you and really take yourself back to that moment.  You can’t feel two opposing states at the same time and this may be enough just to ground you in the moment and get you back on track.   The key is really to create that awareness.  Your body is sending you all these signals for a reason.  It’s time to slow down. Take time to look after yourself but making sure that is a consistent part of your routine because if you’re perpetually in a state of stress or anxiety what’s the point really?  You only get one life and that’s not what it’s all about.   Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s selfless.  It’s not just for you that you’re doing it. Take a moment to picture yourself going about your day WITHOUT the stress, are you still getting things done?  In fact, are you getting MORE done?   Work out what triggers the stress response in you and then get brainstorming about how you can make sure it doesn’t happen in the first place.  What can you outsource? What specific tasks tend to be the ones that stress you out? What in your life is causing you stress?   It’s really easy to look at some of these things and say you can’t do anything about them but honestly, the majority of the time there really is something you can do about it, something you can do differently, you just need to look for it and question it.     And as for the rest of the time, if you have no control over it and REALLY can’t do anything about it what is the point of getting stressed about it?  Will it change anything? Will it hurt anybody apart from yourself? Will it hurt the people that love you? Will it actually help anything?   The scary thing is when people ignore stress and it gets out of control.  That’s where the damage gets done. So start to be aware, use the tools and techniques i’ve talked you through in other posts and make sure you use them and if you feel you need it of course please go see your doctor.   You weren’t meant to live your life in a constant state of stress, so let’s change it!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
February 4, 2019
How to balance a job and grow your business without going insane   Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/how-to-balance-job-and-business-without-going-insane For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables How to balance a job and grow your business without going insane   Are you juggling and trying to balance a job AND a business?   The struggle is REAL….but it doesn’t have to be and I want to help you think differently and more positively about it.   Firstly, If you’ve been with me for a while you’ll know that i’m a big advocate of doing both for as long as you can..just make sure you check your contract and do all your due diligence of course!!     As you will also know, I wish people in the online space would stop the job shaming already.  It’s utter bonkers and a big bugbear of mine.   It just makes people feel ‘less than’ and more often than not pushes them to make the mistake of jumping too soon and running the risk of jumping straight into scarcity mode...and no one likes it there and alll sorts of mindset pickles unearth themselves!   Not a whole lot happens there apart from panic and trying to do EVERYTHING by yourself.   No, no my friends there is another way….a better way perhaps?  That’s up to you to decide.   We tell ourselves that we’re ‘hustling’ that we’re MEANT to be crazy busy but with a few tweaks it’s all imminently doable...hopefully without the stress and burnout.     I speak from a LOT of experience here!  I managed a job,sometimes 2, and a business (sometimes 2) at various points since I was 27 years old (which is a while...ahem!).   Having a job, part time job or just another source of regular income whatever that might be while you’re building, growing and want to invest in yourself and your business is one of the best things you can do in my opinion...especially when there is so much uncertainty, mortgages to get/pay, things to outsource...and you know BREXIT!     The average millionaire has 7 different income streams at any one time.   So we need to stop the judgement.  People don’t know everyone’s situations and they certainly don’t know YOURS.     Who are they to tell you having a job and supporting loved ones, or getting out of an old debt, or wanting a particular lifestyle, whatever it is you’re doing, makes you any less of a business owner.     It 100% doesn’t...it makes you sensible, a master of time, hopefully an excellent prioritiser, freaking amazing and a bit of a hero.     You might not even WANT to take your business full time, you might actually enjoy your job, or at least see the benefits it brings you.     It’s YOUR choice and no one else’s what you want for your business and your life.   There are a LOT of benefits to doing both if you approach it with the right mindset, at least to start with.  It may not be sustainable forever but while you’re building and investing it can be great and you will give yourself some valuable freedom to make the right choices for YOU.     It gives you TIME to get your mindset right.  This is such a BIG part of it, the shift from employee to full time business owner is huge.     Firstly, you haven’t got anyone telling you you’re doing a great job.  You don’t have the feedback, that person guiding you letting you know you’re on the right track.   Balancing a job AND a business also allows you to really invest in yourself and your business.  It allows you to outsource certain tasks that are time consuming or outside your zone of genius, which will make everything SO much easier when you’re juggling both and by the time you do leave your business will be in a really good position with systems and a team in place.   It allows you to invest in the best training, go to all the events, take things in your own time and build your business how you WANT to, on YOUR terms without worrying about feast and famine mode.   Plus you get a pension and paid holidays which is nice!   It’s almost like you’re a secret superhero bad*** sitting in your Monday morning meetings knowing exactly how awesome you are and how many other people wouldn’t back themselves to do what you’re doing and your job actually becomes your side hustle (and investor!) in your business rather than the other way around.   With rising redundancies, less certainty, less security and far less pay rises the days of a job being the ‘secure’ option are pretty much over, there are now 40% (and rising) of UK workers running a side hustle.  Of course we all have various different reasons why we start them.   Extra money, a sense of fulfillment/purpose, extra security, you can’t stand your job (if that’s the case read How to be more positive in your job, so your business can take off!), you might be the sole earner, you might want/need to work around your kids.  SO many reasons, each individual to each person’s circumstances.   BUT, it can feel SUPER tough at times.  Juggling, multi tasking (If you want to know how I feel about that read Why multitasking is bad, and you don’t have time for it!), you feel like you’re sacrificing time with loved ones, always feel like you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, your brain never switches off, you’ve forgotten how to look after yourself and you can feel downright miserable at times...if you don’t have the tools to make it better   So let’s try and make it a little easier shall we?  This is supposed to be rewarding, and dare I say it FUN!?   Here’s a few little tweaks you can make.   Manage your time and stop telling yourself you don’t have enough of it, obvious one to start with but you’d be surprised how many people don’t do it.  Find natural pockets of time that would usually be wasted. Earlier mornings, lunch breaks, learning zone on your commute, stay an extra half an hour after.   Weekends the right way.  In all likelihood you will be using your weekends BUT it is so, so, SO important to make sure you’re taking a break so make sure you’re scheduling things so you can have AT LEAST one day per week for you.  It’s all too easy to ‘fill’ time so be conscious of it. If you use the tips above you might be able to work it so you get your WHOLE weekend after a while. The bottom line is to make sure you’re ALWAYS taking time for you, it’s MORE not LESS important.  You can’t pour from an empty cup!   Quit the multi tasking. Constant context switching is no good and will take you longer to achieve the tasks you’re trying to so again, this is where scheduling is your best friend.   Pick formats and build your business model for the future but around what works for you now.  Ask yourself if it’s sustainable now and will fit with how you want to work when you’re full time in your business.  For example, if you don’t want to be ‘always on’ then it’s probably not ideal to set up a membership site that requires constant attention.   Be aware of stress and burnout.  Be hyper aware of what you’re feeling and start to know when you’ve been working too hard and need to take a break.   Prioritise and cut the fluff, what will actually move the needle in either monetary terms or audience growth? That’s where your focus should be.   On that...Outsource anything that’s not inside your zone of genius.  You don’t have time for that, stop trying to do it all yourself. Hire a VA or an integrator who can help.  How much is your time worth?   Stop following ALL the people.  Pick your platform and pick your ‘guru’, cut out all the noise!   Set boundaries with loved ones.  Once you’ve worked out your schedule be open and honest with your loved ones and tell them when you need time for your business and that if you can work undisturbed then you’ll have more time to dedicate.   Keep your why and your vision in mind to keep you motivated and this will keep you going through all the tricky times.   Think of your job as your business investor. This will honestly change how you feel about being in a job and will highlight all the opportunities it can give you.   So whether you’re in your job still and the online world has been making you feel less than, or you’ve been thinking about getting a part time job to support you while you grow, than I hope this has made you feel differently because I’m tired of seeing people struggle with the ‘shame’ that comes either way.  Get comfortable with where you’re at and you’ll get where you want to be and if you want any help along the way you know where I am.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
January 28, 2019
Why you need to stop the blame game Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/Stop-The-Blame-Game For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/Stop-The-Blame-Game Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Why you need to stop the blame game   Are you playing the blame game?  Who or what are you blaming for your circumstances?  Or for you feeling a certain way?   When we blame things outside of ourselves, that’s exactly where the responsibility stays.     Outside yourself.     You take away your own control over the situation.  You’re directly avoiding responsibility and the very thing that could potentially be what needs to be looked at in order to change it for you.     I mean it’s much easier to do isn’t it! When it’s someone, or something else’s fault then you don’t need to look at yourself do you?   That client, that course you didn’t get the results from, your spouse, the kids, the dog, the algorithms, the government?!   It’s really not going to be able to help you move forward and is much more likely to keep you stuck exactly where you are and feeling pretty negative.   Don’t get me wrong, there are times the blame game can be helpful, it can be a great defence mechanism. However, what we’re talking about here is identifying the times when it’s really not helpful.   The blame game can feel comforting sure, but it’s not in any way empowering.   It doesn’t help you get out of the situation and out of your comfort zones and it can cause you to make excuses. It can keep you stuck in ‘victim’ mode with nothing changing any time soon.   Blaming can also stop you learning the lesson because you’re not looking at any other angle than the blame itself.   I’ve definitely struggled with this and it’s something I had to learn for myself but it really doesn’t help anyone, least of all yourself to hold onto blame.     To not forgive wrong doings and let them shape the way you do things going forward.   Just because something happened in the past does NOT mean it’s the way it still is or how it would be in the future.     Can you look at the situation and see your part in it?  Even if it’s only 10% can you see the part you played or can play in it?   We cling onto things, blame and don’t forgive because we think that in some way it punishes the other person, but the reality is it’s only hurting yourself.   So many people have used various guises of this quote now I have NO idea who said it first but the message really does stay the same.  Not forgiving someone or something is like taking rat poison and expecting the rat to die.   This hit home for me at a time when I was clinging on to SO much anger, blame and pain for the situation I was in and it just made so much sense.  The other person had no idea I was waking up seething every day. That I was letting it shape decisions I made and beliefs I had around my business.  They were getting up, having a lovely time and not giving me a second thought...so who is the winner and who is the loser in that?!   When you can forgive, and accept the part that you played or play in anything you can stop the blame game, move on and create the best business, and the best life you can possibly have.     If you started your business because you were fired or made redundant, can you let go of your feelings of resentment or blame towards your old boss or company and look at all the ways that was a good thing?     If you’ve trusted someone with your money, your business or made an investment in yourself that didn’t go so well, can you forgive those people you’re holding responsible?     Can you forgive YOURSELF and find the important lessons that you learned that will actually serve you really well in the future?   Can you own your part in it?  Even if it’s just a small one?   OK so you spent a huge amount on that course (thanks shiny object syndrome!), didn’t finish it, so didn’t get the results you wanted.  Can you accept some of the responsibility is on you? What can you do about it? Go back and finish it? Or accept it and move on without the bad feelings?   The important thing here is to understand that blaming and not letting go of these things can and will affect how you deal with things in your business, and of course your life too.   What you focus on grows so if you’re focusing on what went wrong, you can’t see any of the helpful parts of the situation.     You will also see more reasons to believe the same thing will happen again and more reasons why you aren’t the one that’s in control of your outcome...when you are!   Like i’m always saying, you get to make a choice.  It’s up to you.   When you’re playing the blame game you’re not allowing yourself to analyse the ‘what happened’ and how to avoid it in the future when you’re just focusing on who’s fault it is.     You also will take action based on what you think and therefore believe about that situation, so if it’s negative and you believe it’s ‘the way it is’ or that it will happen again then that means you are unlikely to take action at all...and where does that get you?!   What you’re also likely to be doing is not trying to change anything about the situation because why would you when you’re putting the control somewhere else outside of you.   If it’s a person that you’re blaming can you walk a mile in their shoes?  Can you see what their higher positive intention MIGHT have been? (Yep, there is always one, even if it doesn’t look like it!)   Can you find a way to empathise rather than feel anger?   If it’s a something rather than a someone then don’t forget my favourite question...is it REALLY true?   It feels uncomfortable when you first do, it but it gets easier and you’re training yourself to think in a different way which will be much more helpful to you in the long run.   When you can hold yourself accountable.  Accept some of the responsibility and allow yourself to be vulnerable then that’s where the magic happens.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
January 21, 2019
Why Does It Always Feel So Hard Making A Change Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/why-does-it-always-feel-hard-making-a-change For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Why it always feels so hard making a change   Ever tried to make a change or do something new and it feels so hard that you wonder why you’re bothering?   Wondering why other people make the same thing look totally effortless and yet for you...it’s like you’re constantly fighting a losing battle with yourself?   Annoying isn’t it!   You feel oh so very aware of all the things you’re doing wrong that you wonder why you started in the first place.   Basically it feels like a horrible up and down roller coaster type of thing.   Don’t worry, you’re not bonkers.   There are 4 very real and universal stages to learning.  Otherwise known as the ‘four stages of competence’ or literally the ‘4 stages of learning’.   Now competence in itself can trigger negative emotions of feeling ‘incompetent’ but please leave all that at the door...because you don’t know what you don’t know!   Which is the first stage.   Unconscious Incompetence.  Literally, you don’t know what you don’t know, so you get to live in a lovely blissful little bubble where at this point you have no idea how much you don’t know, or that it’s even necessary for you to know.     You don’t feel overwhelmed, you’re kind of just OK in your lack of knowledge.  Because really, why wouldn’t you be?!   The next stage is when it starts to get a bit more icky and WAY outside your comfort zone.  CONSCIOUS incompetence.     Here you can be overwhelmed, frustrated, letting in all the self talk about your skill...or lack thereof and you can get really judgy with yourself.     This is the stage where if you’re not really motivated or determined you could very easily just quit.  You’ll probably make mistakes (which are a necessary part of the process so you learn what does and doesn’t work).  You can lose confidence. It feels hard. It feels yuck. Like you’re never going to be able to do the thing or get to where you want to be. You’re so incredibly aware that you don’t have the skill or know the information yet.   Now, when you know this is where you’re at you can see how easy it could be to reassure yourself that you won’t stay in this stage forever, so the negative self talk gets a little quieter.   Be really kind to yourself in this stage and be positive.  It’s so worth it in the end.The uncomfortable feeling means you’re GROWING...it’s a GOOD thing!   The next stage is Conscious competence.   Here you know your stuff, but it’s still a conscious effort to do it.  You’re gaining more and more confidence but you still need to consciously remind yourself and run through the process.  You need to practice essentially, and there is still a level of ‘effort’ involved. Still a thought process you have to take yourself through to remind you of the steps.   The final stage that you go into is UNCONSCIOUS competence.     So this is where it gets really cool.  You now know the behaviour SO well you do it unconsciously.  You’ve created a new habit and you don’t need to even think about it anymore.  It’s natural.   BUT the beauty of knowing this process is THAT you know this process...you know what’s coming.  You know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel to get you through the conscious incompetence. You get to look forward to the last stage knowing that it will soon become second nature.   The reason I want you to know this is that we can all feel overwhelmed, like we’re not good enough.  Like we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing but when you can accept that you’re new to this, you’re learning and you’re growing and that’s a GREAT thing then you can be kinder to yourself.  Not listen to that nasty, mean little gremlin in your head telling you you aren’t good enough.   You will go through these stages in everything you learn.  There will always be a stage where you don’t know what the heck you’re doing.  But if you stick with it, there will always be the stage where you’re so good at it it’s completely effortless.   Have a think about any times in your life this has been true.  Easy peasy example is driving but there will be countless others where you can clearly see each of these stages.   Remember, nobody ever said it would be easy...but it’s worth it!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
January 14, 2019
Why you need to pay attention to your thoughts Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/thoughts For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Why you need to pay attention to your thoughts   I’m going to kick this off with a chinese proverb. ‘Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.’   OK so this is a BIG subject and one that when you can REALLY grasp it, can completely change your life.     You’ve all heard people saying that ‘thoughts become things’ I’m sure but never really looked into the practicalities of what that means, or considered it a bit woo so totally discounted it!   The way we think DIRECTLY affects our lives and this is something I was talking about a LOT at Positive Pants Planning Live last week.   There is SO much to explore so i’ll try to keep it as simple as possible for now.   It’s basically how we end up with self fulfilling prophecies, prove ourselves right and then repeat patterns that we don’t want in our lives.     It creates coding in your subconscious that then affects what you do and how you behave.   Thoughts directly influence the way you feel about something.   Feelings, or the way you specifically feel, about something influences the actions you then do or don’t take.   Those actions directly create the results that you see in your life.  You either do, or don’t have the outcome you wanted, or you have exactly the outcome you predicted, positive or negative.   Those results then reinforce your original thoughts, which in turn become your beliefs and form both thinking and behaviour habits.   Still with me?   Essentially, if we look at this we can see that everything begins and ends with thoughts and beliefs yes?   So if we want to influence the way we feel about things or the actions that we take, what do we need to focus on changing?!   Your THOUGHTS and in turn your BELIEFS.   At the end of the day if you don’t believe something is possible for you then it really won’t be.  You will absolutely self-sabotage to prove yourself right!   This goes some way to explain the Law of Attraction in slightly more practical terms.   When you BELIEVE something can be yours it influences your thoughts, then your feelings, then your ACTIONS (which is the KEY piece of the puzzle that people often miss out when talking about LOA!) and in turn your results.   What this also does is tell your Reticular Activating System (RAS) what to filter out for you.     Now what the heck is the RAS?   The RAS is a group of nerves at your brain stem and one of it’s (many) functions is essentially to act as your brain’s spam filter.   We’re bombarded on a second by second basis with millions of pieces of information to process that simply wouldn’t be possible.  It would be completely overwhelming sensory overload so the RAS gets to work to filter out what you need.   Those little moments where you see the right ad, hear the right conversation, meet the right person, you’re in a noisy crowded room and you still manage to hear your name, all those things.  You have essentially been telling it what to filter out for you.   The trouble is it’s based on any parameters that YOU give it and when you’re not aware of that that’s when things can get tricky.     It’s based around YOUR value system, your beliefs and your thoughts.  It’s kind of that friend that’s desperately trying to please you but getting it really wrong sometimes.   It filters out all the evidence you need to reinforce what you’re asking it to.  It WANTS you to be right. So if you believe something about yourself it will make sure it shows you alllll the reasons you’re right and NONE of the evidence that you’re not.  It will show you black and white but none of the grey (unless you ask it to!). So you can see how this can go awry right?   BUT, the fun bit is that it’s all in your hands!   YOU get to tell it what you want.   This is where all the times i’ve told you that affirmations, meditation, visualisation aren’t woo woo becomes even more clear and you start to get on board my woo ‘what if’ train.   When you start to use these tools which i’ve covered before and use them regularly and start to shift your thinking you literally become a different person, and THAT person is the one who gets what they want out of life.  Who gets out of the frustration loop and stops patterns repeating themselves.   And hopefully it puts a little fire in your belly to work out what those thoughts and beliefs are that are keeping you stuck, so you can get to work changing them.   Hopefully it’s shown you the importance of setting proper goals, really being clear and KNOWING what you want and going through all the different processes of actually TELLING your brain what you want!   There are so many ways that our brain can work against us in this game but this is very much a way that we can start to get it to work WITH us and FOR us.   Think about what labels you’ve given yourself throughout your life.  Think about the ‘I always’ and ‘I never’ statements that you use about yourself.   Think about the beliefs you have around your business, catch yourself in those negative thought processes that you want to get rid of  so you can challenge them.   Start to look for any evidence you can to prove yourself wrong.   So, to give you even more evidence spend a little time thinking about something you want to consider a ‘sign’.     Something that will empirically prove to you that this is something you can do.     So pick anything, keep it simple.  Let’s go with a fox for example. Wake up and think about how you want to see a fox today. You will start to notice all the times and occasions that you start to spot foxes.  You will start to notice it will be in adverts, images, shop display windows, logos, car stickers you’ll start to see it everywhere.   Once you’ve done that and you’re ‘in’ then do the important work.  Start telling your brain who you want to be, what you want to see, what you want to achieve and then let the magic happen.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx
January 7, 2019
How Expensive Is It In Your Comfort Zone? Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/comfort-zone For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables How Expensive Is It In Your Comfort Zone?   What is it actually costing you to stay in your comfy cozy comfort zone? I see so often people fearing the things outside their comfort zone in favour of saying where they’re at in life and in their business. The thing is, it’s comfortable yes…but are you happy there? What is staying there actually holding you back from and therefore costing you right now? What new things are you not trying because of it? What experiences, successes or lessons are you denying yourself by staying there? What money are you leaving on the table by staying there? What LIFE are you actually saying no to by staying there? By staying inside your comfort zone usually you are denying yourself from learning anything.   Your brain craves learning and growth, it’s genuinely one of the best things that keeps your mind young too. You create new neural pathways through learning.     Without Going Outside Your Comfort Zone You’re Literally Keeping Yourself Exactly Where You Are.   Progression doesn’t happen by keeping things exactly the same. Productivity really isn’t helped by comfort either.  It’s very easy to not push yourself in the absence of any sort of need or deadline of any kind.  Nothing to drive or motivate you. So, which is preferable?  Getting outside your comfort zone and growing as a person and potentially making lots of money and having awesome experiences because of ALL the action taking you’re doing…or staying exactly where you are? Where you are might be great.  You might be happy there, which is awesome.  BUT…if you’re not, if you know or even think you could have, be and do MORE then it’s time to decide to do something about it. Can you think of a time where you’ve pushed yourself outside your comfort zone and great things have happened?   When you’ve been SO pleased you actually did it? How did it feel? That instant growth, that instant sense of achievement, the boost in confidence and rush of adrenaline. (Insert prayer hand emojis right here!)   It’s A Habit So, you’ve formed a little habit of not taking chances, of not doing the scary things.  You’ve reinforced it to your brain that it’s better to stay there every time that now it’s just habitual and subconscious. But when you START to CONSCIOUSLY push yourself, even a little bit in baby pigeon steps it becomes easier and easier every time.   Trust me I know! I used to be the epitome of ‘Mrs Frady Pants’.  I wouldn’t do anything outside my comfort zone at all, there were times I would miss massive opportunities purely because I didn’t want to do something on my own, and let me tell you it and I was miserable. I was consistently just reinforcing the belief that I wasn’t good enough. That everyone would be judging me.  That I couldn’t do the things I wanted to every moment I didn’t take the action. Not taking action outside your comfort zone drags you deeper and deeper into listening to that self doubt gremlin You sit there and just wait for things to happen, annoyed with your lot wondering why things don’t change! Preparation Is Key! The other thing that can happen is that when you CHOOSE to put yourself outside your comfort zone intentionally and consciously, it better prepares you for those moments in life when it isn’t actually your choice to. It helps you deal with unwanted or unknown situations much better and helps to build up your resilience to uncertain situations making them much less traumatic when they do occur.   Why Don’t We Do It Then? So why when we know in our guts that it’s so much better for us, and all the good stuff is waiting just outside of our comfort zones, why is it so damn hard to get out of? Because your brain thinks it’s safe there! The mind will do what it thinks is best for you and what it thinks you want so you need to tell it otherwise.   And that often comes with simply making a decision and going for it.   Then the more you do it, the easier it becomes.   Tools I Use But you have to make a conscious decision to change that habit and form a new one.  Mel Robbins 5 second rule is my absolute favourite tool for this. You simply count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move.  It wakes up all the right areas of the brain associated with forming new habits and once you’re up…you’re up and moving and it gets easier every time! I use this tool ALL the time.  It comes in REALLY handy for all those things you don’t really want to do (Yes exercise, I’m looking at you!) The other is simply ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ knowing and trusting that the confidence and growth comes from the DOING, you just have to give yourself a little nudge.   Now What? So, with this newfound ability to take action and push yourself you do it again, and again, and again, take action after action after action.   Think about what that could give you right now! What have you been holding yourself back from?   What have you not invested in because it was outside of your comfort zone, or you knew you’d inevitably have to get outside of it by investing? What opportunities have you missed? What people have you not met or worked with? What events have you not gone to? How much money have you left on the table? Where could you be this time next year if you just took just a few steps that felt uncomfortable to begin with, but then meant you grew in confidence, took action and ultimately stopped costing yourself the things you currently are. Marinate in that little vision for a moment! It’s time to get comfortably uncomfortable and stop costing yourself so much! If you know that now is the time to start finally changing things for yourself and want to explore this further then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside. Fx
December 24, 2018
When You're Exhausted & Feeling Burnt Out! Show note links: To book your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live head to: https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/ For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/exhausted/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables When you’re exhausted and feeling burnt out   If you’re feeling exhausted and on your way to burnout, teary eyed and wondering why things aren’t easier...I feel you!   When you’re waking up in the morning wanting to cry into your cheerios feeling not so cheery and wondering how you’ll make it to next year in tact then I want you to remember that you HAVE got this.  I know I know, such a cliche but seriously you have. If you want it and you decide you’re going to have it then you WILL have it.   But that doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up in the process.     The depths of silly season are dark   While we are right in the deepest darkest depths of silly season where we’re eating and drinking ourselves into oblivion, trying to finish things off so we can actually have a break, not getting enough sleep and getting a little too boozy suzie a little too often we HAVE to look after ourselves.   It’s important now more than ever.  You can EASILY head straight for that entrepreneurial burnout, especially if you have a job to juggle too!   You feel pulled in a million directions, like you’re never where you’re supposed to be or doing what you’re supposed to do and it’s HARD.   We have to sort this now so you don’t decide to burn your entire business to the ground because it’s just too damn hard.   The first thing is to acknowledge where you’re at.  Right now. You’re not going mad, you’re exhausted!   You need some rest and to switch your brain off for just a moment.  This is normal, especially this time of year, but it’s not ok to stay there.     Once you’re aware of why you may be feeling demotivated, more irritable than normal, why you’re not sleeping well, you’re exhausted all the time, reaching for the junk food or want to cry at the drop of a hat.     Once you realise what’s going on you can take steps to change it.  This is the first of those steps.   Money and Time   I know you’re not going to like the next one but this is the time, where you have no time, that you need to find time.     It’s so important to carve out time just for you, even if it’s 30 mins, even 10 mins to meditate, just find it.     The funny thing with time is it’s like money.  We always say we don’t have it but can ALWAYS find it when it’s a priority.     Make it a priority.     I always make sure I schedule it in, I know it lacks spontaneity BUT it means it actually happens.  My other half is on board with this too. If he knowsIi’ve been feeling stressed out or working too hard he runs me a bubble bath, puts in all the essential oils and salts under the sun and gives me that time.  (I know, the dream right! #smug)   Story time!   Think about what stories you’re telling about your time at the moment and use one of my favourite questions.  What’s one more thing you COULD do to make this easier?   We have a tendency when we’re labelling ourselves as ‘busy’ to create even MORE work just to justify the label.     We are our own worst enemies here.  We actually create MORE things to do when the reality is things CAN be simplified.     Go back to my scary brain dump to do list and get really honest about what actually HAS to be done.     Make sure you’re saying no to other people too, this is a big one.  When you know you can’t take any more on you have to know when to say no.   Thinking about over thinking?   We get stressed when we’re overthinking.  We’re FAR busier in our heads than we actually are in reality.     These moments are when it’s really important to make sure you connect with other people, reach out, you can change your thought process in an instant if you talk to the right person.     I help clients do this all the time, it’s all too easy when you’re stuck in your own little negative loop to not see the woods for the trees.  Talk to someone!   Resist the urge to sink into the shadows hoping that the fog will lift.   The usual suspects   Sleep well, eat well, don’t drink too much, exercise, get your vitamin D,spend 15 minutes purely on your gratitude practice, all the things you instinctively know but don’t follow.   Remember that you’re essentially out of ‘fuel’ and you need to fill up the tank!   Check in with yourself to make sure there’s anything else going on and if you’re unsure go speak to your doctor.     We need to get you back to thinking clearly.     Limit decisions you need to make, even things that seem super simple like choosing what to wear or eat every day.  IF you plan it in advance all in one go it frees up some much needed headspace and wards off decision fatigue.   Remember that when you’re constantly in a heightened state of stress Cortisol and adrenaline are running through your body, you lose the inability to think clearly, we need to calm that down.   Breathe!   Please, please remember why you started this thing! You have a message that someone else needs to hear.     You have a life that you were meant to live.   No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it does get easier...and it’s so worth it!   Fx   Fx
December 17, 2018
 Are You Creating A Business You Actually Want? Show note links: To book your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live head to: https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/ For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/dontmakeresolutions/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Are you creating a business you actually want?   Do you actually want the business you’re creating?   I know, weird question...of COURSE you want it right?     Why else would you be slogging your guts out evenings and weekends and sacrificing time with your loved ones if you didn’t?   Well, what if you want a business yes, but the one you’re creating is based on all the ‘shoulds’ you see around the place and actually it’s not 100% actually, really,truthfully, in any way what you want...you just didn’t realise it!   We are bombarded with messages in the online space about what our businesses ‘should’ look like.  What success ‘should’ look like. So much so we’ve forgotten that the choice is actually ours.   There are so many experts out there telling you so many different things that you’ve lost sight of what you wanted to start in the first place.   There’s a BIG difference between getting overwhelmed and procrastinating over something you KNOW you want to do but don’t quite have the tools or the confidence yet, and sabotaging yourself because you subconsciously don’t really want it.   I got caught up in that trap for a while, it’s easily done because it’s oh so sneaky and subconscious.   I was doing ‘all the things’, feeling like I had to be on ALL the platforms but I suddenly realised I didn’t really want what I was putting all the work in to achieve.     It was confusing because as somebody who can identify VERY quickly when she’s procrastinating or overwhelmed or heading for burnout and has a tool up her sleeve for most things that get in her way, I couldn’t see past this one.   It was frustrating!   I couldn’t work out what the fudge was going on.  Then it hit me.   I’m great at self coaching and have a high level of awareness but even I have blind spots from time to time so it took me a while.   Then I realised, with some help from my amazing mentors.  I want my business to fit into my life, not the other way around where my life literally becomes my business.     Some of the people I was seeing have what I perceived as ‘success’, the bigger audiences, the fast growth, the speaking gigs...all the things I knew I wanted.  BUT, I did NOT actually want to do what they were doing to get it.   I didn’t want to turn every single thing I was doing into an Insta opportunity.   I didn’t want to ask my husband to take a million pictures of me while we were spending precious time together, to me, it takes away from our time together.   And guess what...shock horror ALL OF THIS IS TOTALLY FINE!!   You get to choose.     Now i’m not saying I don’t want to share, not at all.   I consider myself a serial over sharer and if you’ve ever met me you’ll know exactly what I mean ha...I’ll also get you over sharing too, even if it’s not something you’d normally do.  It seems to be one of my super powers ha!   But here’s the thing that interests me.   It’s the knowledge that you CAN have all of those things, the faster growth, the constant visibility…but you get to choose to...or not to.   You get to choose to go the slow and steady wins the race route if you want to.     This is why I love people to just stay in their own lane and not compare because most of the time we don’t really want to do what the person we’re comparing ourselves to does to get it. You also never have the full story either.   What they are doing may not be right for you.   I have been building a business based around my core values and at one point it just wasn’t sitting right. So I got to choose to put my boundaries in place.   My core values are freedom, authenticity and happiness.  So you can see why feeling like I had to constantly be ‘on’ wasn’t fitting in with freedom and happiness!     I also feel like sharing things purely because you feel you HAVE to rather than sharing something because you genuinely WANT to doesn’t sit well with my authenticity value.   That’s why i’m a huge fan of batching.  If you’ve got go to content you can remain consistent but still within your own boundaries, how you want to work and what fits into YOUR life.  Win win!   For me it was just about reminding myself of those boundaries and reminding myself that I was building this for a certain lifestyle and a certain life for me and all my favourite people.     This is why my podcast has been SO perfect for me and is my biggest audience.  It 100% fits in with my boundaries.   I create consistency which is important.  I get to be myself which is important. I get to schedule around what works for me which is important and it hasn’t come as a surprise to me at all that this is the platform that has shown me the biggest growth and the closest bond with my audience.  I’st always felt effortless to me.   So, if this has resonated with you I’m sure you’re thinking ‘Oooooh I wanna start a podcast’ and that’s great.  I think it’s a great medium BUT, I really want you to ask yourself the important questions before you just jump in.  Do this for all the things you’re doing in your business currently. Do you really enjoy them? Are they integral to your business?  Could you outsource them rather than doing them yourself?   All really key questions to ask because at the end of the day if you’re slogging your guts out trying to build something that you actually don’t really want then you WILL get in your own way, you will sabotage your efforts and you’ll constantly feel like you’re operating from overwhelm, procrastination and frustration so as the end of the year approaches just ask yourself some of these key questions, really evaluate because you get to tweak, pivot, change, and experiment as you go along.  That’s the beauty of having your own business but it’s all about checking in with where you’re at and what your subconscious is up to! When you can bring the subconscious thoughts into the conscious it’s all change from there! Work out where the procrastination and overwhelm is coming from, which gremlins are keeping you stuck and take it from there. Everything is fixable!   If this sounds like you and you can be in London on the 5th January make sure you go grab your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live and we’ll go through all of this!  There are only 13 tickets left and only 2 more that come with a bonus 1:1 call with me so i’ll put the link below! It’s going to be awesome!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx
December 10, 2018