June 30, 2020
Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of Sex and Couples Therapy at the University of Ottawa, Canada. She was awarded the Prix d’Excellence in 2000 for her teaching of Human Sexuality. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator.
June 24, 2020
This is a very important conversation with Dr. James Hawkins about Racialized Trauma, Racial Injustice, Privilege, Institutional Racism, and Black Lives Matter. James approaches this topic from his experience in EFT and attachment. Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy.
June 16, 2020
In the episode today, Dr. Marni Feuerman talks about why couples therapists make the best individual therapists. We discuss how important relationships are in everyone's lives even those who are single. We also talk about using dating apps, being a respectful dater, and what the dating scene looks like these days. Dr. Marni Feuerman is a licensed psychotherapist. She is a nationally recognized relationship and marriage expert with specialized training in couples' therapy.
May 26, 2020
In this episode, Dr. Joe Kort talks about when a straight spouse finds out that her husband has been with other men. He talks about the problems with defining acting out sexual behaviors as sex addiction as well as how to work with people in a sex positive way. Joe is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor of Sex Therapy. He is the author of several books, lecturer, and facilitator of workshops for therapists.
May 19, 2020
This episode is a brief summary of some of how Relational Life Therapy is different from other models of couples therapy. I am a certified RLT therapist and have been mentored by Terry Real. I talk all about shame, grandiosity, patriarchy, self-esteem, boundaries, and leverage. Terry Real is the creator of Relational Life Therapy. You can find out more about him at The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy.
May 12, 2020
The episode this week was with two guests, Dr. Corey Yeager and Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal. They discuss the reality of race and privilege in therapy. At one point Corey said, there is no such thing as cultural competence. That implies arrival. What is more appropriate is the idea of cultural understanding and responsiveness. As human beings we will always be struggling with this and part of the work is getting comfortable with the struggle.
May 5, 2020
In this episode, Dr. James Hawkins and I explore therapist's process of growing their ability to implement the EFT model specifically. We also talked a lot about self of therapist in the room and how we have the ability to have a big impact on society. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.
April 28, 2020
Author of Come As You Are Talks about Working with Sex in Couples Therapy
April 21, 2020
In this episode Jen Silacci talks about how we can cope with these difficult times. She describes many different strategies we can use to make sure we are taking care of ourselves as therapists. She also talks about the new nonprofit she started called
April 14, 2020
These times during the Coronavirus Pandemic have been extremely stressful on many different levels. As we all switch over to online therapy, it is important to be mindful of the emotional this is taking on us and think about how we can be making sure to take good care of ourselves. Dr. Amber Lyda has been doing online therapy for awhile now and has a facebook group called the Online Therapists Group.
April 7, 2020
Because of the history of power and influence in our world, we are socialized in ways that impact our relationships in a huge way. If we aren't aware of these realities, we might behave in inappropriate or boundary violating ways that are offensive to the people we care about the most. Dr. David Wexler talks about this topic and what we can do to live in a way that is more relational for everyone.
March 31, 2020
In this episode with Kimberly Gist Miller we talk about using the Developmental Model in working with Affairs. Many of the clients we work with have a lot of trauma and it is so important to know that history and to know how to work with it. Kimberly Gist Miller is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Frisco, Texas, outside of Dallas. She specializes in working with couples, relationships, and infidelity. She is also a trainer and speaker on different aspects of relationships and for therapists.
March 24, 2020
This episode is a recording of a webinar I did recently with the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook group. We talk about the implications of this time during the coronavirus pandemic.  The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.
March 18, 2020
In the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus.  This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online.
March 10, 2020
Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that.
March 3, 2020
We often see clients in our offices who are struggling with things like a lack of fulfillment, a deep sense that something isn't right with me, a feeling of disconnection, and a lack of emotional intelligence. In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships.
February 25, 2020
How is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch.
February 18, 2020
One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy.
February 11, 2020
Understanding the Impact of Trauma on Relationships
February 4, 2020
Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back by Alexandra Solomon)
January 28, 2020
We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.
January 14, 2020
Show notes to come...
January 7, 2020
When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues.
December 31, 2019
How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.
December 24, 2019
This special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.  In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients.
December 17, 2019
When Couples Have Achieved Their Goals, But Are Still Struggling
December 10, 2019
In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginnings of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time.  Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.
December 3, 2019
This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience.  Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They are pioneers in the field of couples therapy.
November 26, 2019
Talking about the similarities and differences of two different models of Couples Therapy
November 19, 2019
One of the things we hear most frequently in our office as Couples Therapists is partners with differing levels of sexual desire. For a number of reasons this most often takes the form of a male partner desiring more sex than the female partner.  Susan Bratton does a wonderful job of flipping conventional wisdom on it's head and giving us some great insight into how we can guide people to Revive Her Drive.
November 12, 2019
Show notes to come...
November 5, 2019
One of the most difficult situations that couples face is when there has been an affair and they are trying to heal. Every one of these situations is unique and different, but there are some general themes that tend to come up a lot. When partners can learn the skills and are willing to work at it, the recovery can go much more smoothly.
October 22, 2019
Show notes to come...
October 15, 2019
Gain a Better Understand of How Conflict Impacts Your Relationships
October 1, 2019
When one or both couples are on the Autism Spectrum or label themselves as Aspergers, it can be incredibly helpful to be understanding of particular things that will be helpful for working with these specific couples. In this episode, Grace Myhill talks about particular topics that neurodiverse couples often seek help with.
September 24, 2019
In the history of our society there has been a huge amount of shame for women about their own desires. There is still a pervasive problem of not talking about what is going on and what people really want. Because no one is talking about it, no one feels accepted or validated about their desire. Author, Lisa Taddeo, breaks this silence in her book Three Women.
September 17, 2019
In this episode about Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Elliot Connie talks about some amazing strategies to help couples achieve great results in their relationships. He goes into details about how much of psychotherapy is all wrong, asking the right questions, and letting the client take the lead. He describes how asking people what they want in a skillful way and staying with it, requires them to move into deeper levels of vulnerability.
September 10, 2019
In this episode with Jan Bergstrom, we go into depth about the 5 Core Practices of a Healthy Life. This work was inspired by Pia Mellody and has become the foundation for many models of therapy. We talk about doing inner child work, feelings reduction work, and standing in your truth. We also touch on the importance of self-esteem and boundaries. Jan is the co-founder of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. She is the author of the new book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood.
September 3, 2019
Show notes to come...
August 27, 2019
Show notes to come...
August 20, 2019
In this episode, Dr. Angela Clack discusses cultural legacies that have been passed down for generations. She talks about how to make people from minority cultures feel accepted and understood and hold space for the change that needs to happen in relationships. Dr. Clack is known for her ability to teach, supervise, coach, and provide training in various areas pertaining to children, youth, and their families.
August 13, 2019
In this episode, Deirdra Fay talks about the transformational change that is possible when we understand attachment and trauma and are able to do deeper work within ourselves. Deirdre talks about the seven steps to a solid internal world and helps people learn how to become safely embodied.
June 18, 2019
The interview today was with Annie Chen who wrote The Attachment Theory Workbook. Not only does it go into depth explaining the different attachment styles, it also has tons of great activities to find out more about yourself on a personal level. Research on attachment is guided by the assumption that the same motivational system that gives rise to the close emotional bond between parents and their children is responsible for the bond that develops between adults in emotionally intimate relationships.
June 11, 2019
So many of the couples we work with are going through the baby phase of their life. Whether they are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, have lost a child, or just had a baby, there is going to be a lot of stress and a lot that is hard to predict. In this episode Bina Bird talks all about how to help and guide these couples as they go through these phases and how to identify if more intensive support is required.
June 4, 2019
In this episode with Lynn Grodzki, we talk about bringing aspects of coaching into our work with couples in therapy. There is a lot we can learn to make sure we are retaining clients in today's marketplace. Lynn talks about 9 skills we can start bringing into our practice now. Lynn Grodzki is a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books.
May 28, 2019
In this episode, Erika Miley talks about the importance for therapists to get more comfortable with talking about sex. We all have our own sex "stuff" and the more we explore that and get education about sex, the more we can help the couples we work with.  Erika Miley is a mental and sex therapist. She is the founder of the center for mental and sexual health. She hosts a podcast called Sex Talk with Erika Miley and has a facebook group called Sex Talk with Erika Miley Professionals Group.
May 14, 2019
There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible.
May 7, 2019
In this episode Leanne Clarkson talks about the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy which was created by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. This is one of the leading model of couples therapy and Leanne does an amazing job of describing some of the ways this model can be used with couples.  She identifies the 5 stages of couple's development which include: 1. The honeymoon phase  2. Differentiation  3. Exploration  4. Reconnection and  5. Synergy
April 30, 2019
In this episode, Joseph Losi talks about a healthy masculinity and what men can do to be more intimate, vulnerable, and connected to their emotions.  The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.
April 23, 2019
In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.
April 16, 2019
When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.
April 9, 2019
For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience. Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today.
April 2, 2019
So often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?" Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.
March 26, 2019
We have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury. Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma.
March 19, 2019
After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track.  Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy.
March 12, 2019
It is becoming more and more evident over time that incorporating aspects of trauma work into couples therapy is incredibly beneficial. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (one of the leading couples therapy models) is a great way to be able to work with how the trauma is coming up in the present relationship. Kathryn Rheem is a certified EFT therapist and teacher of the model. She has worked closely with Sue Johnson for over ten years and does lots of training for therapists learning EFT.
March 5, 2019
Couples retreats and intensives are getting more and more popular and for good reason. It is a very good way of making a lot of progress in a short amount of time.  In this episode, Rachel Zamore and I talk all about retreats. We cover the difference between an educational couples experience with a group of couples vs. a private couples retreat vs. an intensive. We also talk about the various options like discernment retreats, affair repair retreats and repair and renewal retreats.
February 19, 2019
When working with couples in therapy, it can be easy to get lost in their story and stay focused on the content of what they are talking about. This often feels like a tennis match, watching the ball go back and forth. In the interview this week with Rob Fisher, he talks about how to use experiential techniques in order to help couples slow down, be more present, and tune into what is going on inside them.
February 12, 2019
In this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma. She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships.
February 5, 2019
Bringing two families together can be one of the most difficult things for couples to deal with. Whether both partners have children, or one partner has children and the other doesn't, it is a very challenging situation. Most people go into these situations without any education or experience in knowing how to handle it. They often come to us as the Therapist looking for guidance and skills they can use to improve their situation. Enter step-parenting expert, Karen Bonnell.
January 29, 2019
Using psychodrama in therapy has the capability to help people unlock neural pathways in ways that they wouldn't otherwise be able to with typical talk therapy. This episode explores that process as well as goes through several examples of how to use psychodrama with couples. Walter Logeman is a therapist in Christchurch, New Zealand who specializes in working with couples. He is a supervisor, trainer, and qualified Imago therapist.
January 22, 2019
In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy. She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another.
November 20, 2018
Dr. Bill Doherty along with his daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, started the Doherty Relationship Institute. He has written 15 books and regularly teaches and trains therapists and couples. He has served as President of the National Council on Family Relations and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Association. He is also the founder of Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.
November 13, 2018
In this episode with the amazing Couples and Sex Therapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson, we talk about the importance of therapists being comfortable with talking about sex. We talk about how much people's sex lives (whether they have much of one or not) is a huge part of how we define ourselves. Tammy also talks about how to recover from infidelity from a sex therapist standpoint.
November 6, 2018
This episode is with Jill Fischer who is a leading Emotionally Focused supervisor and trainer. She provides listeners with a fantastic overview of EFT as a model and what is necessary for training. Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the leading models in the world of couples therapy. We talked about the externship, core skills training, and how your own personal work as a therapist can enhance your ability to go deeper with the couples you work with.
October 30, 2018
When couples come for therapy they are usually aware of anger, frustration, and lack of connection. As humans we are very good at figuring out who to blame our feelings on instead of communicating with vulnerability. Emotionally Focused therapy helps people to connect with themselves and their more authentic emotions. When people tap into their feelings of sadness, fear, and hurt and communicate those from a place of vulnerability, they are more likely to be able to be heard and connect with each other.
October 23, 2018
As therapists we get lots of training and do an amazing job of serving our clients in therapy. What most of us don't learn and need help on is how to build, run, and grow a great business. Whether you have clients coming in the door, willing to pay your full fee might have little to do with how effective you are as a therapist. There is a lot that most of us can do to improve our marketing, presence on social media, and networking with our communities.
October 16, 2018
Show notes to come...
October 9, 2018
Because of the way that men and women are socialized differently, there are particular challenges that men face when it comes to relationships. For this reason, Quentin Hafner wrote a book that provides a clear and actionable roadmap for becoming a successful husband. The book, Black Belt Husband, outlines twelve character traits necessary to be a great husband, man and partner. Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California.
October 2, 2018
Often people try to please their partner and lose sight of what they want for themselves. It is important that we speak up for what we want in our relationships in order that we don't grow resentful over time. In this episode with Dr. Jameson and Herdyne Mercier, they talk about how marriage takes work and they are dedicated to teaching couples the skills they need to have great relationships. They work with couples in their practice in Florida.
September 18, 2018
Relational trauma related to growing up in our families and society is what causes stress and problems for us in our adult relationships throughout our lives.  In this episode, Kim Ploussard talks about the 5 core issues that form the foundation of Pia Mellody's work. This is the framework for Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy and he credits Pia with providing the foundation for much of what he teaches. The 5 core issues are: 1. Self-esteem 2. Boundaries 3. Reality issues 4. Dependency 5. Moderation.
September 11, 2018
Show notes to come...
September 4, 2018
In the last few decades there has been an amazing amount of progress and movement towards freedom for individuals in many societies. While this freedom has afforded new opportunities for people, it has also brought about a new level of anxiety. At the same time there have been advancements and a huge change in the way we use technology. People are more connected than ever, while feeling more isolated and confused about how to navigate these new waters.
August 28, 2018
As couples therapists, most of use have heard of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), but the same foundations of this model are being used more and more in working with children, their parents, and their families. This model is called Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT). From an attachment perspective, there is an assumption that parents and children are "wired" together. Parents can be an active agent in healing for the child.
August 21, 2018
Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy. This report compares Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, The Developmental Model, The PACT, IMAGO, Gottman, and IFS. The episode today discusses the 5 losing strategies and also 5 winning strategies that couples can use in order to stop feeling stuck. Shane Birkel also gets into how to use the feedback wheel which is a valuable resource for helping couples communicate.
August 14, 2018
As therapists, especially in private practice, we must have a deeper understanding of money both for our business and for our personal lives. In this episode Tiffany McLain talks about the psychology of money, how fear holds us back, having the life we want, talking with clients about money, setting fees and much more. Tiffany McLain is a therapist in private practice in San Francisco. She is the founder of which is a wealth of resources to help therapists make more money.
August 7, 2018
Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte describes the method for dealing with affairs that is taught by the Gottman Institute. The process involves the steps of Atone, Attune, Attach and she goes into detail as to what this looks like in our work with clients. It is very important as therapists for us to have a clear sense of how we are helping people heal and recover from these situations.
July 31, 2018
This conversation explores the debate between differentiation and attachment. This episode is with the authors of an article entitled Attachment vs. Differentiation and in that article they use Emotionally Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) vs. Crucible Therapy (David Schnarch) to compare these two models. We talk about whether these two developmental theories are compatible and whether or not it is effective for a therapist to try to integrate aspects of them at the same time, in our work with couples.
July 24, 2018
In this episode, Dr. Stephen Snyder M.D. talks not only about how to help guide couples to reduce their anxiety about sex, but how to help them have ridiculously great sex. Dr Snyder has specialized in sex and relationship therapy for over 30 years in Manhattan, where he’s helped over 1,500 individuals and couples regain closeness and satisfaction in their relationships. Dr Snyder is also the author of one of the most acclaimed sex and relationship books of our time, LOVE WORTH MAKING.
July 17, 2018
When couples come to us with issues related to money they often feel completely stuck. One partner might want to save for the future and one partner might want to give their children valuable experiences in the present. There is often a multitude of stuff going on beneath the surface that couples are only partially aware of. In this episode with Kiné Corder we go into detail about how to help couples listen and understand each other's values without compromising their own.
July 10, 2018
This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors.
July 3, 2018
As Couples Therapists we all know that Couples Therapy is much different that Individual Therapy. It is easy to get off track and wrapped up in content. It is very important that we have the ability to stay still and redirect the couples we work with to stay with the conversations of process. As we begin to collect data in the first session it is important to have a mental framework in mind for us to think about how we are conceptualizing the case.
June 26, 2018
Some of the most popular episodes on the podcast have been about working with sex in the context of Couples Therapy. There are so many dimensions to explore beyond the physical aspect of what is going on sexually. In this episode Ian Kerner talks about a range of ways to explore sexuality in more depth. Considerations include where clients fall in the life span, cultural, family of origin, medications, psychological issues, internalized beliefs interpersonal and relational issues.
June 19, 2018
This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience.  Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate.
June 12, 2018
As therapists there is a lot we can do to make people feel more comfortable and safe to open up. Doing our own work to challenge biases is an important part of helping other people grow. Part of what is helpful is to be kink aware and come at any sexual conversation with a spirit of openness, understanding, and without judgement. In this conversation with Heather Garner, she talks about how to get educated as therapists and continue to grow in order to make people feel safe and accepted.
June 5, 2018
Many couples fall into a predictable dance that neither one of them want to be in. They end up being stuck in this pattern and can't seem to free themselves. One partner is the pursuer and one partner is that withdrawer. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws. In order to make progress, both partner must be able to give up their stance in this situation.
May 29, 2018
Expectations for relationships are changing faster than ever. What was considered "normal" for our grandparent's generation is being challenged and evolving all the time.  In this interview with Shadeen Francis, we talk about the ever changing realities of relationship expectations for Millennials and Gen Zs. Much of what we discuss is helpful and important for any relationship.
May 22, 2018
Melvin Escobar beautifully describes the dynamics of power, privilege, internalized oppression, and cultural (in)sensitivity. Melvin has a private practice in Oakland, CA. He is also a registered yoga teacher. Melvin identifies as a queer cisgender man of color and second-generation El Salvadorian.  The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy.
May 15, 2018
Most therapists don't like the idea of being in front of dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of others. We feel right at home with one or two people in our office, but we need to build confidence in showing up and getting our message out to the world. Some of the best ways to do this is to have a fantastic website, being present on social media and reaching out to the media at large. Dr. Julie Hanks talks all about how to do this and what strategies to focus on.
May 8, 2018
50 years ago men and women were more likely to know what each of their different roles were and feel competent to fulfill their partner in the relationship. In the last few decades women have become more empowered in their careers and men have become more involved at home. This has been a positive evolution for humans, but has led to a lot of stress on relationships. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
May 1, 2018
Going through a break up, separation or divorce is one of the most difficult things people ever have to face. In this episode, Katherine Woodward Thomas discusses how this process can be done with respect, care, and love so that everyone involved is less negatively impacted. This is especially important when children are involved. She outlines a 5 step process for couples to work together as they experience their uncoupling.
April 24, 2018
When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person. This is a conversation with Dr. Alexandra Khatehakis.
April 17, 2018
There are more and more people who might be defined as sexual minorities and it is as important as ever for therapists to be educated and sensitive all types of people they are working with. In this episode Jonathan Burstein discusses polyamorous relationships and how we might become more culturally competent as therapists.
April 10, 2018
In grad school we learn all the essentials to become a great therapist. Unfortunately, most therapists come out of that experience lacking any sort of preparation for running a successful business.  This is a bonus business episode with Lynn Grodzki, a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.
April 3, 2018
Traditional therapy has done a great job of providing clients with a warm, loving, compassionate environment to heal. Unfortunately, it falls short when it comes to bringing up difficult truths to people when that is necessary. In this episode, Terry Real talks about the three phases of his model, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the first of which is joining through the truth. In this way he begins the process of creating quick, profound change in the individuals and couples he works with.
March 27, 2018
Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered the questions that come up for people after going through an affair, in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked in the show notes. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut.
March 20, 2018
Some of the most challenging couples we see in Couples Therapy are those who are no longer even in a relationship. When children are involved, it is not possible to ever completely be free of one's ex partner.  In these situations it is incredibly important for these co-parents to work together in order to support the children in the best way possible. Karen Bonnell is an expert at helping these co-parents work through these situations in a way that is healthy for everyone.
March 13, 2018
As Couples Therapists we bring our own experience and training to each couple we work with. The best Therapists have the ability to be present and trust their instincts to guide couples to what they need. Stan Tatkin is the creator of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. He is the author of several books for couples which are listed below with links.
March 8, 2018
This is the 6th edition of the bonus business episodes that are released the first (or second) Thursday of each month. This is a solo episode with Shane Birkel that is all about steps you can take if your practice isn't quite where you want it to be yet. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.
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