Resistance to Relationship: Strategies for Reaching the Most Difficult Children
Published September 5, 2017
36 min
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    What is the first thing you think of when you hear the words resistant child? Disruptive? Mean? Hurtful? Angry? We might even call these children disconnected. What if we shifted our view of these children to see their behaviors as a call for help? Children who are relationship resistant are the most challenging in our classrooms. We can relate to these children on some level as we have all had hurt and betrayal in our lives. As adults we build defenses to distract us from that inner pain, children show us with their hurtful and disruptive behavior in the classroom. In this episode, we will learn strategies for reaching and building relationships with these children transforming both their life and the life of the classroom. Listen in and learn how create a School Family, utilize the skills of active calming, noticing and encouragement to reach even the most disconnected child. Essential Takeaways • For children to behave differently we must see them differently • Building relationships is key to reaching children who are resistant • Why building a School Family is essential • Remove judgment from the classroom with the skill of noticing Steps for Tomorrow Begin practicing self-calming and be willing to see children’s misbehavior as a call for help. Look for opportunities for connecting with children, begin building your school family. Important Links • DNA Process (Star 4 in chapter 8 of book study portal, • Skill of Noticing ( • Mirror Neurons ( • Wishing Well ( Products • Conscious Discipline: Building Resilient Classrooms • Creating the School Family • I Love You Rituals • Shubert’s New Friend • School Family Job Board Show Outline :18 What is Conscious Discipline 3:10 Introduction of Guest Vicky Hepler 4:10 What behavior trends in classrooms today 4:54 Responses to challenging children before Conscious Discipline 6:35 Responses to challenging children after Conscious Discipline 8:33 How to build connection with children who resist 9:32 DNA process 11:38 Beginning steps for helping disconnected children 13:17 Why children resist relationships 15:45 Reframing children’s behavior 18:05 Summary of strategies 19:10 Removing judgment from the classroom 21:12 Success story of relationship resistant child 25:20 What to do when multiple children in a class are disconnected 28:50 Teacher suggestions for when it’s difficult to implement 31:17 Summary of all strategies for reaching resistant children
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