We sat down with Scott & Cassie Spicer to hear their story of overcoming addiction and betrayal in their marriage. We discuss when they realized it was a problem, how they finally found freedom, and the impact it has made on their lives. This is a beautiful story of redemption and hope.
Leading group members through the disclosure process is a very difficult thing for a group leader. Today's episode, we dive into how to handle it, what are do's and don'ts, and what the role of the group leader is in the disclosure process of the group.
Pornography is becoming more and more mainstream in our culture. As parents, this means we cannot disengage the topic and hope for the best for our kids. Today's episode, we dive into what parents need to know about porn, how to talk to your kids about it, and what your role looks like in the sexual health of your kids.
Being a Pure Desire Group Leader is hard work. And because of the nature of the work, developing as a leader is a necessity. Today, Nick and Trevor talk to Ashley Jameson about what it looks like to get better as a PD Group Leader.
We talk to Dr. Juli Slattery about what she calls "Sexual Discipleship." She describes the difficulty of talking about sex in the church, how it changes the church, how sexual discipleship changes the culture, and how it all should look in the church.
Disclosure is a part of the recovery process. It's a very difficult one, but very necessary. We talk through the definition, purpose, and benefits of a full disclosure. And we also talk through what a proper full disclosure should look like.
Scripture describes sexual sin as one that uniquely affects the body. Today's episode, we spend time talking through Soul Ties. Diane Roberts joins us to talk about what Soul Ties are, how to identify them, and how to break free from them.
Everyone wants a healthy sex life. Period. But what does it actually mean to have one? How often should married couples have sex? What qualifies as good sex? How do you improve the health of your sex life?
Relapse often becomes almost a swear word in the journey to recovery. But what qualifies as a relapse? How should we view relapse on the recovery journey? Can we use relapse for future health? Should we disclose every relapse? All these questions are answered here!
Why does pastoral moral failure happen as often as is does? Is there anything we can do about it? Will it always be this way? If it does happen, how are we to respond? Today's episode is a heavy one, but it needs to be talked about.
"Counseling" can seem like a taboo topic in the church world. But does it need to be? What if counseling is the one thing to help break those negative habits in our lives? Today's episode we discuss 5 primary reasons to consider getting counseling on your journey to sexual integrity.
The idea of promoting groups for sexual purity and betrayal in the church is not an easy or necessarily fun one. Today we talk about what the best ways are to promote Pure Desire groups in a way that catches more people and gets them the healing they need.
What does it look like to have healthy relationships? Is true pure love possible? How should sexuality play out in my life? We spend time talking through our newest women's resource: Unraveled, and what life change women can expect to gain from it.
Are wet dreams sinful? How do you manage sobriety on sick days? Why don't we offer same-sex attraction groups? Do we always need group? These are only a few of the questions we address in our newest FAQ episode.
The Commitment to Change (C2C) is a weekly tool that Pure Desire groups use on the road to recovery. But how do we unlock the vast potential of this tool? What makes a C2C effective? How can it help us develop holistic health? Listen in to find out!
Creating a plan for when temptation or triggers show up is always better when done in times of clear thinking and done with brutal honesty. What should this plan look like? What makes an effective escape plan for maintaining sexual integrity? We talk these and more.
What do we do if we are caught in our porn/sex addiction? What's the first thing we should do? How can being caught be a good thing for our recovery? These questions and more are answered in this episode.
What do we do if we catch our spouse in a porn/sex addiction? What's the first thing we should do? What are some major pitfalls in how to respond? These are just some of the questions we address in today's episode.
Do women struggle with porn or sexual addiction? How do churches help women who do? What does recovery look like for women? How can we diminish the shame women addicts feel? We answer these questions and more in this episode.
What does it take to lead men through healing from sexual addiction? What do I need in order to lead these men? What kinds of support and resources do I need to effectively lead men into sexual integrity? We answer these questions and more in today's episode.
We talk to our founder, Dr. Ted Roberts, about the practical bible studying tool used in our group resources–the SWORD Drill. We look at Nehemiah 8:10 and walk through how to read, experience, understand and implement practical steps from God's word.
We talk to Rick Bulman about how he and his wife, Tiffany, walked through the darkest of times in their marriage and how God took that mess and made it their message. We talk with Rick about what gave them hope and healing, the role of counseling in their recovery, how their relationships have healed, and their new book Mended.
We talk to Jay Stringer, author, and mental health counselor, about his research and book, Unwanted. We talk to Jay about what he found in his research of almost 4,000 people, how to listen to your lust, and his involvement in the Heart of Man movie.
We talk to Jay Stringer, Mental Health Counselor and author of the new book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. We talk to Jay about his story and how he got into counseling. We also talk to him about how our sexual failures are roadmaps into our past harm, and how God views our sexuality.
We talk to the author of Genesis Process and creator of the FASTER Scale tool, Michael Dye. We talk to him about the history of the Genesis Process, how it works, how the FASTER Scale was created, and more.
We talk about how much to care about other people's recovery, examples of practical healthy habits in life, if we can or should watch shows like Game of Thrones, what married couples can do after group, and so much more.
We talk to Scott Bradley, Senior Pastor of As Is Church, about forgiveness. We define what forgiveness is, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, how forgiveness changes a family, and more.
We talk to Ron DeeHas, president and co-founder of Covenant Eyes, about accountability software and the role it plays in recovery from sexual addiction. Ron shares the history of Covenant Eyes, the benefits to having accountability software, and what the future holds for accountability software.
We talk about leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. We talk about what the goal of the group is, who can lead the groups, and what materials are needed for leading. We also discuss how husbands can support their wives as they lead B&B groups, some best practices and some no's-no's as a leader.
We talk through what to do if you find out your kid is looking at porn. We talk about how to prepare yourself for this potential situation, how to dive into the conversation, some do's and don'ts, and more.
We talk about the difficult situation of dismissing group members. We talk about when to dismiss group members, what the process looks like, what follow up looks like, what to do when you're the one being dismissed, and more.
We talk about 4 ways to practically renew your mind. We talk about how often these practices should be done, where in Scripture these are supported, and encouragements as we implement them in our lives.
We talk about the situation where your church isn't supportive of Pure Desire groups. We talk through why some churches struggle seeing the need for these groups, how to best respond if this happens, what to do if you're in this situation, and much more.
We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like how shame diminishes, what to do when a spouse isn't involved in your recovery action plan, how long it takes to get sexually healthy, if disclosure in a dating relationship is ok, and more.
We talk through why preaching about sexual integrity and brokenness can be so challenging for the church. We discuss guidelines to preaching on sexual purity, what messages we inadvertently speak when avoiding the topic, how much is too much to share from the stage, and much more.
We hear Mike Maxwell's story of healing from his porn addiction. He talks through what was at the core of his addiction and the destruction that it left in his life. He also talks about when things finally clicked and how God has redeemed his relationships and destiny.
We talk about Legal Issues that arise in Pure Desire groups. We discuss how often legal issues come up, what types of issues come up, and how groups/group leaders can prepare themselves for potential issues. We also talk through do's and don'ts when handling legal issues and more.
We talk about the Father Wound. We discuss what it is, how it compares to a Mother Wound, and how to recognize if you have a wound. We also talk through where in Scripture we see the Father Wound, how we address it, and how not to pass it on to our kids.
We talk about sexual health for single men and women. We discuss what healthy sexuality is, the true definition of intimacy, and what it looks like to pursue sexual health as a single person. We also touch on common misconceptions of sexuality for singles.
We talk about the importance of developing Pure Desire group leaders. We discuss the requirements for being a group leader, what to look for in a potential leader, and things to avoid when looking for new leaders. We also talk through what developing group leaders looks like.
We talk about maneuvering through the minefield of social media. We discuss how social media can be detrimental to our sexual integrity. We also talk through things to avoid, the positives of social media, and what being a healthy social media user looks like.
We hear Patty Moreno's story of healing from her husband's unfaithfulness. She talks through how God used the refuse in her life and marriage to create a renewed relationship with her husband and a restored ministry in the kingdom.
We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like relapse and consequences, generationally passing addiction down, the role of Group Leaders in groups, comparing traumas, and more.
We talk through the Arousal Template tool. We discuss what the tool is, the 5 steps to using it, and how it helps us create a game plan for sustained sobriety. We also talk through the length of use for this tool, who you should share it with, and more.
We talk about triggers for sexual addiction. We discuss the different types of triggers and how we can identify them, if these triggers stay constant in life, the role of group accountability, and more.
We discuss 7 common misconceptions on marriage. We discuss misconceptions like: sex will always be good, your spouse will complete you, you can change your spouse, my spouse's health is my responsibility, and more.
We discuss the role of sex during recovery from sexual addiction. We talk through if it's ok to withhold sex during recovery, how to increase emotional intimacy, how periods of abstinence can help your marriage, and more.
We talk about our resources and groups available for young women, Behind the Mask. We discuss who the group is for and what the main message is behind the resource. We also talk through why having these groups for young women is so important, how to get groups started, how to develop leaders, and more.
We hear Paul Zunker's story of healing from sexual addiction. He talks through the depths of his addiction, the legal issues that it created, and what failed attempts he had made to break free from his addiction. He also shares when it all started to click, how he found freedom, and what life looks like now with freedom from his addiction.
We talk through 6 healthy nightly routines and how they help in our overall health. We discuss device use, protecting your sleep, planning ahead, meditation, gratitude, and eating habits in regards to how they benefit our holistic health.
We talk about creating healthy guardrails for maintaining sobriety from sexual addiction. We discuss why guardrails are important, what makes a healthy/unhealthy guardrail, and who should be involved in the creation or changing of our guardrails.
We talk through 8 tips for launching Pure Desire groups. We discuss the importance of sharing our story, establishing expectations and standards for groups, and the culture you create in groups. We also give practical tips on how to set your groups up for health and success.
We discuss the situation where men and women find themselves in a crisis due to sexual addiction. We talk about first steps when a crisis occurs, what things to avoid, and how to help others in crisis. We also discuss the role of group members in crisis and the resources available to anyone in crisis.
We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like withholding sex during recovery, what is sexual health, what the healing journey from sexual addiction looks like, and more.
We give 5 tips on how to use the FASTER Scale tool. We discuss when to check the FASTER Scale, how to work it, when to talk through it, who to do it with, and it's role in life without Pure Desire Groups.
We talk about the theology of addiction. We discuss the biblically-based and clinically-informed approach that Pure Desire's takes on healing from sexual addiction. We identify where addiction is in the Bible, why "loving Jesus more" isn't the solution, and why confession isn't enough for true healing. We also talk through why identifying trauma and triggers are necessary for lasting freedom.
We hear Ernie and Jackie's story of healing and redemption of their marriage. They talk through their marital tension caused by Ernie's sexual addiction and how they began their healing journey. They also share with us how their relationships with each other and their community changed through the process of healing.
We discuss maintaining sobriety during the oftentimes difficult summer months. We talk about things to avoid, helpful guardrails, and how to maintain accountability during the summer. We also discuss the opportunities that the summer months possess for finding sexual integrity.
We talk to two of our Regional Group Leaders (RGL's) about the RGL volunteer position. We discuss what an RGL is, why they exist, and how they help churches with Pure Desire groups. We also talk through mistakes churches make when it comes to utilizing their RGL.
We talk about the reality of porn/sex addiction in pastoral ministry. We discuss best ways to admit there is a problem, how much pastors should share, and how a church should respond to an admission of addiction from their pastors. We also give encouragement on how to get help and how to best support your pastors in this arena.
We talk through Pure Desire's Group Guidelines. We talk about the importance and reasoning behind each guideline. We also discuss some misconceptions about the group guidelines and some common ways we break guidelines.
We talk through our Betrayal & Beyond (B&B) groups and group resources. We discuss why groups are needed for betrayed spouses and reasons why churches tend to not offer these groups. We talk about what it means to find healing from betrayal and how the B&B group resource helps betrayed spouses on their journey to healing.
We talk about common mistakes churches can make when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. We discuss the common approach that churches take when diving into this topic and the issues that it often times creates. We also talk about how to best start this ministry in your church in a way that is inviting and welcoming to people in all seasons of healing.
We talk about family dynamics and how they play out in our daily lives. We discuss how to identify, address, and change the unhealthy dynamics in our families. We also talk through how discuss unhealthy dynamics in a beneficial way and what it looks like to create healthy dynamics in our families.
We talk about Love Addiction. We discuss how to identify if you are a love addict. We talk through why being a love addict is detrimental in life and how to address love addiction. We also give encouragements on how to find freedom from love addiction.
We talk about Love Addiction. We talk through how it differs from sex addiction and also discuss causes and factors that cater to a love addiction. We also talk about if it is just a women's issue, or if men can struggle with it as well.
We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). The questions on today's episode cover topics like why masturbation is harmful, how to get buy-in for starting the Conquer Series, who can struggle with love addiction, when to pursue counseling, and more.
We talk about the reality and nature of having difficult group members. We discuss ways to avoid being a difficult group member and mistakes frequently made when dealing with difficult group members. We also talk through ways we've found success in handling difficult group members and what support is offered to group leaders.
We talk about our group 8 Pillars to Freedom. We discuss who the group is for and what the group time looks like. We discuss the differences between sex addiction and love addiction. We also give some tips on some do's and don'ts in an 8 Pillars group.
We talk about the importance of healthy habits on the road to freedom from sexual addiction. We talk through what makes a habit healthy, how to implement lasting habits, and when a habit becomes another addiction. We also give personal examples of healthy habits that have worked in our lives.
We talk to Ben Bennett and Jake Kissack about being single and battling sexual addiction. We discuss ways to educate and help young people address this issue, while also unpacking ways that married couples can encourage and support single friends and what resources are available for single people stuck in addiction.
We talk to Ben Bennett and Jake Kissack about being single and battling sexual addiction. We talk through what it looks like to find sexual freedom as a single person and when it's ok to be in a relationship. We also talk about how to best reach the single demographic with the message of hope and freedom, and what resources are available for single people struggling with addiction.
We talk about our event called Pure Desire University (PD-U). We discuss what the PD-U is and who can attend these conferences. We also talk about what churches will benefit from hosting or attending a PD-U. We talk through how to host or attend a PD-U and why we encourage churches to pursue a PD-U.
We talk to Ben Bennett about his resource for college-aged men, Living Free. We talk about how the resource came about and what is at the core of its message. We also discuss why reaching the younger generations with freedom is so important and the benefits this freedom brings the church.
To purchase a copy of Living Free, go to www.puredesire.org/living-free
We talk to the CEO of KingdomWorks Studios, Jeremy Wiles, about their 10-week cinematic study on sexual addiction called the Conquer Series. We talk about the backstory/history of the Conquer Series and Dr. Ted's involvement in the project. We discuss how the Conquer Series works and what it does. We also discuss the new rollout of Conquer Series 2.0 and all the updated/new tools added.
We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). The questions on today's episode cover topics like handling relapse in group leadership, who can/should watch the Conquer Series, timeline of full disclosure, healthy habits for engaged couple preparing for sexuality in marriage, and more.
To submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:
Email your question to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Use the subject line: PD PODCAST
Post your question to social media, using the hashtag: #PDFAQ
We talk about our 7 Pillars of Freedom groups and group material for addicted men. We discuss what the 7 Pillars are, how often groups meet, and what men need to get 7 Pillars groups going. We also talk through what men need in order to lead 7 Pillars groups.
We talk about our 7 Pillars of Freedom groups and group material for addicted men. We discuss the history of 7 Pillars and how it compares to your run-of-the-mill bible study. We also talk about the commitment level required to benefit from 7 Pillar groups.
We talked to Debby Flanagan, a clinician on staff, about when a spouse suspects that their husband/wife is struggling with porn/sex addiction. We discuss what first steps should be taken and what to avoid when addressing the suspicion. We also talk through about what support and resources are available for men or women in this situation.
(International Groups Coordinator)
(International Groups Coordinator)
We talk to Rodney Wright, pastor at Lake City Church in Idaho, about the struggles and hurdles pastors face when addressing sexual addiction in their church. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement is appropriate, why sexual addiction is a taboo topic, and why it is so important to have groups for people struggling in the church.
Resources available for Pastors:
PD-Leaders Program: https://puredesire.org/pages/pdl-overview
We talk to Tyler Chinchen, our Clinical Director, about a situation where an addicted husband/wife sees the need for healing but their spouse is not supportive. We discuss some initial steps for the addict in this scenario and types of resources available to them. We also talk through why a supportive spouse is important in the recovery process and how to include a spouse in that journey.
We talk to Dr. Ted Roberts about what he calls the "Limbic Holiday," aka the Holiday Season. We discuss the issues and struggles that so many have with family and addiction over the holidays. We also talk about ways to maintain sobriety and support your spouse during this stressful season.
We talk to Jackie Chambers, one of our Regional Group Leaders, about disclosing addiction to your kids. We talk about what disclosure is and what it should look like when talking with your kids about addiction in the home. We talk about how to disclose, when to disclose, and discuss ways to keep the conversation going with your kids.
We talk through Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's) that we hear at our PD-University events. The questions on today's episode cover topics like the neurochemistry of addiction, same-sex attraction, group struggles, identifying the problem in your church, etc.
We talk to Jackie Chambers, one of our Regional Group Leaders, about starting women's Pure Desire groups at your church. We talk through what makes women's groups unique and what types of women's groups we have available. We also discuss tips and steps to follow when beginning women's groups in your church.
We talk about what it looks like when a betrayed spouse sees the need for healing but their addicted spouse isn't willing to work for freedom. We give encouragement and steps for the betrayed spouse on how to begin healing, and suggest some things they should avoid when trying to initiate change in their marriage, family, and home. We also talk through available resources for betrayed spouses.
We talk with Ashley Jameson (International Women's Groups Coordinator) about the Recovery Action Plan (RAP) tool, previously called Safety Plan. We talk through what a RAP is and the benefits of using the tool - whether someone is struggling with addiction or someone has been affected by another's addiction. We talk about how to best use and develop a RAP and how it is a helpful tool that creates a predetermined process for recovery for anyone whether single, married, or divorced.
We sit down with Bob Vander Meer to talk about Creating a Tech Action Plan for your devices. We talk through what an effective action plan looks like and topics it should address. We also talk through filtering programs and how to avoid finding loopholes in our safety steps.
We talk about a tool known as "Personal (Prophetic) Promises." Personal Promises are used to combine a real-life experience and the truth of scripture into a powerful tool used on the road to recovery. We talk through what a personal promise is, how it should be used, and give some examples on what one should look like.
We spend time talking about how to grow a healthy Pure Desire groups ministry. We talk through what healthy and growing groups look like and how to creating a developing ministry. We also spend time talking through how to identify, train, and develop new group leaders and what role our Regional Group Leaders (RGL's) play. And we also discuss some tips to use and some practices to avoid when working to grow your Pure Desire groups.