Most little kids have an ironclad sense of right and wrong and are most happy to report on whoever might not be sharing in the dress-up corner. But as they get older, the stakes get a lot higher- for them, for us, and for the kid being "told on."

When should kids tell?

In this episode we discuss: the difference between "tattling" and telling, and whether telling kids "no tattling" is causing other problems; the difference between surprises and secrets;

what to do when kids say, "I'm not sure if I should tell you this"; and whom kids should tell when they can't (or won't) tell you.

Here are links to some of the research and writing on the topic discussed in this episode:

Amy Morin for Very Well Family: Why Parents Shouldn't Tell Kids to Keep Secrets

Marisa Cohen for Real Simple: How Much Privacy Should You Give Your Kids?

Valerie Reiss for Great Schools: Does Saying "Don't Tattle" Send Kids the Wrong Message?

Heidi Stevens for the Chicago Tribune: Tattling is bad, except when it's not

Together Against Bullying: Telling vs. Tattling

Teachers Pay Teachers: Tattling vs. Telling

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