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February 19, 2020
Trying to make changes to unconsciously-driven beliefs and behaviors is quite the trick - if we aren't aware of it how can we change it? This is a look in the mirror and be honest sort of moment, you know what you can improve in how you relate to others. Now let's get to work!
February 4, 2020
Nobody is perfect. Let us support you in doing something you KNOW you need to do but may not know how. For 30 days, choose ONE old habit you want to let go of, focus on understanding where it comes from, challenge tired old troublesome beliefs, risk learning something new and updating your old map. Change can look like: insight, more compassion, new behavior, it can be small or large, but it's gotta change. We discuss examples and tie this into the Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum and the colors you may lean toward to help you pick something.
February 4, 2020
Nobody is perfect. Let us support you in doing something you KNOW you need to do but may not know how. For 30 days, choose ONE old habit you want to let go of, focus on understanding where it comes from, challenge tired old troublesome beliefs, risk learning something new and updating your old map. Change can look like: insight, more compassion, new behavior, it can be small or large, but it's gotta change. We discuss examples and tie this into the Modern Attachment-Regulation Spectrum and the colors you may lean toward to help you pick something.
January 23, 2020
"Yes means yes is the new no means no!" Often we doubt our gut instinct,  question our right to take up space in the world, and live governed by fear -especially when we've experienced trauma. Meet the Safety Team, a group of ordinary women doing extraordinary work teaching women how to build resiliency and re-claim their sense of agency.
January 23, 2020
"Yes means yes is the new no means no!" Often we doubt our gut instinct,  question our right to take up space in the world, and live governed by fear -especially when we've experienced trauma. Meet the Safety Team, a group of ordinary women doing extraordinary work teaching women how to build resiliency and re-claim their sense of agency.
January 7, 2020
Memory reconsolidation brings awareness to old maps and traumatic emotional learning and gives us a clean slate to build new learning pathways. Powerhouse clinicians Bruce Ecker & Tori Olds join co-host Sue Marriott in a discussion on the science behind this process and Coherence Theory, which brings these ideas to life. Be sure to see the shownotes for great articles and an excellent PDF brief on the subject.
January 7, 2020
Memory reconsolidation brings awareness to old maps and traumatic emotional learning and gives us a clean slate to build new learning pathways. Powerhouse clinicians Bruce Ecker & Tori Olds join co-host Sue Marriott in a discussion on the science behind this process and Coherence Theory, which brings these ideas to life. Be sure to see the shownotes for great articles and an excellent PDF brief on the subject.
December 24, 2019
It can be surprisingly hard to identify the reality that your spouse or best friend has serious narcissism - find out why!
December 24, 2019
It can be surprisingly hard to identify the reality that your spouse or best friend has serious narcissism - find out why!
December 17, 2019
Memory reconsolidation brings awareness to old maps and traumatic emotional learning and gives us a clean slate to build new learning pathways. Powerhouse clinicians Bruce Ecker & Tori Olds join co-host Sue Marriott in a discussion on the science behind this process and Coherence Theory, which brings these ideas to life. Be sure to see the shownotes for great articles and an excellent PDF brief on the subject.
December 5, 2019
In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-host Sue Marriott explores the intersection of Polyvagal Theory, neuroscience, and attachment with Deb Dana. We will investigate how the mind creates stories from information relayed by the nervous system, and how we can rewrite the script to move toward security.
December 5, 2019
In this episode of Therapist Uncensored, co-host Sue Marriott explores the intersection of Polyvagal Theory, neuroscience, and attachment with Deb Dana. We will investigate how the mind creates stories from information relayed by the nervous system, and how we can rewrite the script to move toward security.
November 22, 2019
One man's incredible story from unthinkable trauma to healing and recovery using non-Western approaches. Alphanso Appleton's story of civil war, Ebola and tragic loss will bring trauma are resilience into sharp focus - you will be moved by this young man's story.
November 22, 2019
One man's incredible story from unthinkable trauma to healing and recovery using non-Western approaches. Alphanso Appleton's story of civil war, Ebola and tragic loss will bring trauma are resilience into sharp focus - you will be moved by this young man's story.
November 15, 2019
Judgement says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee.  It's not Judgement = Bad.  It's Judgement = Interesting!! Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time - both positively and negatively.  It's our brains appraisal system.  However unchecked it's also a very handy interpersonal defense.  Today we explore one aspect of insecure functioning, unchecked judgement and harsh self-criticism.
November 15, 2019
Judgement says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee.  It's not Judgement = Bad.  It's Judgement = Interesting!! Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time - both positively and negatively.  It's our brains appraisal system.  However unchecked it's also a very handy interpersonal defense.  Today we explore one aspect of insecure functioning, unchecked judgement and harsh self-criticism.
October 30, 2019
TU107: What is Somatic Experiencing With Guest Abi Blakeslee
October 30, 2019
TU107: What is Somatic Experiencing With Guest Abi Blakeslee
October 18, 2019
Evidence-based treatment sounds good but it has nothing to do with deep life-changing work of psychoanalytically-oriented attachment therapies. Dr. Nancy McWilliams takes on the issue of insurance and other institutions trying to define your issue and the care you deserve. She also tackles trauma, narcissism and the training of therapists.
October 18, 2019
Evidence-based treatment sounds good but it has nothing to do with deep life-changing work of psychoanalytically-oriented attachment therapies. Dr. Nancy McWilliams takes on the issue of insurance and other institutions trying to define your issue and the care you deserve. She also tackles trauma, narcissism and the training of therapists.
October 3, 2019
This season we will be unpacking both narcissism and borderline personality disorder over time. Today we delve into the range of the issue, the types and compassionately look at what is going on inside the person who needs this defense. Hint: it's about their need to develop a false self.
October 3, 2019
This season we will be unpacking both narcissism and borderline personality disorder over time. Today we delve into the range of the issue, the types and compassionately look at what is going on inside the person who needs this defense. Hint: it's about their need to develop a false self.
September 25, 2019
Candid and hilarious conversation about translating the relational sciences to work and parenting by a single listener ready to challenge the premise!
September 25, 2019
Candid and hilarious conversation about translating the relational sciences to work and parenting by a single listener ready to challenge the premise!
August 15, 2019
Curiosity - It's much more than a quest for knowledge, not as simple as it seems, & is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have!
August 15, 2019
Curiosity - It's much more than a quest for knowledge, not as simple as it seems, & is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have!
August 1, 2019
Bonnie Badenoch discusses how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our lives using our autonomic nervous system.
August 1, 2019
Bonnie Badenoch discusses how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our lives using our autonomic nervous system.
July 14, 2019
We talk to Dr David Elliott about treatment for adults with attachment disruptions and much more! Check out the show notes for excellent resources!
July 14, 2019
We talk to Dr David Elliott about treatment for adults with attachment disruptions and much more! Check out the show notes for excellent resources!
July 8, 2019
We made it to our 100th episode! Here's a look at some of the favorite episodes of our listeners as well as our own over the last 3 seasons!
July 8, 2019
We made it to our 100th episode! Here's a look at some of the favorite episodes of our listeners as well as our own over the last 3 seasons!
June 27, 2019
What if we flipped the script and learned to see our body as a messenger that needs to be heard rather than an obstacle to be conquered when it comes to our relationship with food? Using a somato-psychosocial model, we learn that the body has much to say not only about food but also emotional regulation and our basic human needs for attachment and defense.
June 27, 2019
What if we flipped the script and learned to see our body as a messenger that needs to be heard rather than an obstacle to be conquered when it comes to our relationship with food? Using a somato-psychosocial model, we learn that the body has much to say not only about food but also emotional regulation and our basic human needs for attachment and defense.
June 13, 2019
Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it in your daily life.  Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her strategies of adaptation model known as the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM).  Focus is on personal and clinical importance in this last of a 3-part series on the DMM.
June 13, 2019
Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it in your daily life.  Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her strategies of adaptation model known as the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM).  Focus is on personal and clinical importance in this last of a 3-part series on the DMM.
May 29, 2019
Discover a new voice and unique perspective in the treatment and assessment of attachment injuries. Dr. Patricia Crittenden shares her model, the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation, and uses her rich international background to deepen our understanding of culture and context on self-survival strategies.
May 29, 2019
Discover a new voice and unique perspective in the treatment and assessment of attachment injuries. Dr. Patricia Crittenden shares her model, the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation, and uses her rich international background to deepen our understanding of culture and context on self-survival strategies.
May 15, 2019
Discover a new voice and unique perspective in the treatment and assessment of attachment injuries. Dr. Patricia Crittenden shares her model, the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation, and uses her rich international background to deepen our understanding of culture and context on self-survival strategies.
May 15, 2019
Discover a new voice and unique perspective in the treatment and assessment of attachment injuries. Dr. Patricia Crittenden shares her model, the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation, and uses her rich international background to deepen our understanding of culture and context on self-survival strategies.
May 1, 2019
Want a totally free, no-hangover naturally produced cuddle-drug?  Oxytocin provides a boost of the best bonding drug possible and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in love.  In this episode we discuss how to create this moral molecule without even needing complicated human relationships by connecting mutually to our companion pets.  What's not to love about that?
May 1, 2019
Want a totally free, no-hangover naturally produced cuddle-drug?  Oxytocin provides a boost of the best bonding drug possible and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in love.  In this episode we discuss how to create this moral molecule without even needing complicated human relationships by connecting mutually to our companion pets.  What's not to love about that?
April 17, 2019
The science of relaxing into love, this episode continues the exploration of Polyvagal Theory by bringing it to life through discussion and real-life examples.  Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley continue to break down one of the most important theories of our generation when it comes to trauma and psychological treatment.
April 17, 2019
The science of relaxing into love, this episode continues the exploration of Polyvagal Theory by bringing it to life through discussion and real-life examples.  Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley continue to break down one of the most important theories of our generation when it comes to trauma and psychological treatment.
April 10, 2019
Dr. Stephen Porges, the neuroscientist behind Polyvagal Theory & Sue Marriott discuss mechanisms in the brain that create an array of psychological symptoms. Learn how to regulate your nervous system and co-regulate those you love. Full version.
April 10, 2019
Dr. Stephen Porges, the neuroscientist behind Polyvagal Theory & Sue Marriott discuss mechanisms in the brain that create an array of psychological symptoms. Learn how to regulate your nervous system and co-regulate those you love. Full version.
March 15, 2019
Learn 3 distinct features that make one vulnerable to addiction and understand the varied dynamics through the lens of attachment with guests Brad Kennedy and Dr. Vanessa Kennedy. By getting curious about our behaviors and understanding why we do what we do, we can begin shifting our narrative from one of shame to one of compassion.
March 15, 2019
Learn 3 distinct features that make one vulnerable to addiction and understand the varied dynamics through the lens of attachment with guests Brad Kennedy and Dr. Vanessa Kennedy. By getting curious about our behaviors and understanding why we do what we do, we can begin shifting our narrative from one of shame to one of compassion.
March 1, 2019
Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new?  There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make.  Kids are naturally curious.  As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered!  What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have?  Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems.
March 1, 2019
Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new?  There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make.  Kids are naturally curious.  As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered!  What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have?  Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems.
February 14, 2019
It's hard enough to unfold yourself in therapy, but when your life experience has challenged you, avoidance is sure to follow.  It is difficult to open up if you found safety in being cloaked - but that cloak can clog up our current adult relationships.  Dang it. Sorry to tell you what we imagine you already know. :) Gotta lose the cloak, friend.
February 14, 2019
It's hard enough to unfold yourself in therapy, but when your life experience has challenged you, avoidance is sure to follow.  It is difficult to open up if you found safety in being cloaked - but that cloak can clog up our current adult relationships.  Dang it. Sorry to tell you what we imagine you already know. :) Gotta lose the cloak, friend.
January 31, 2019
This episode breaks down and enhances your neurofluency - the basics of neuroscience as it relates to human beings in relationship. This skill will help you with your boss, your teacher, your student, your child, you client or you spouse. Learn to use the solid findings from interpersonal neuroscience in therapy on either side of the couch, as clinician or patient, and across varied life experiences. Co-host Sue Marriott interviews Dr. Lou Cozolino, a master psychologist, researcher, and world renown author of a boat load of books and original articles on the subject. Please hit play and enjoy!
January 31, 2019
This episode breaks down and enhances your neurofluency - the basics of neuroscience as it relates to human beings in relationship. This skill will help you with your boss, your teacher, your student, your child, you client or you spouse. Learn to use the solid findings from interpersonal neuroscience in therapy on either side of the couch, as clinician or patient, and across varied life experiences. Co-host Sue Marriott interviews Dr. Lou Cozolino, a master psychologist, researcher, and world renown author of a boat load of books and original articles on the subject. Please hit play and enjoy!
January 24, 2019
Building security by yourself can seem near-impossible, so for today we are ditching the heady neuroscience to break down 6 quick tips to improve self-confidence entirely on your own.  It's what to do, not why to do it.  You’ll discover how this handful of minute steps can vastly improve the way you feel internally and the way you carry yourself externally.
January 24, 2019
Building security by yourself can seem near-impossible, so for today we are ditching the heady neuroscience to break down 6 quick tips to improve self-confidence entirely on your own.  It's what to do, not why to do it.  You’ll discover how this handful of minute steps can vastly improve the way you feel internally and the way you carry yourself externally.
January 10, 2019
This episode is packed! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness of child sexual abuse, and revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances! Also special offer included.
January 10, 2019
This episode is packed! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness of child sexual abuse, and revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances! Also special offer included.
December 21, 2018
We end the year by co-host Sue Marriott addressing in depth 2 questions from our audience. These focus on mentalization, the attachment spectrum and regression. We look at how we can lose the capacity to mentalize when we are in a dismissing state of mind and what happens when we regress into early modes of functioning - fun juicy topics! Enjoy!
December 21, 2018
We end the year by co-host Sue Marriott addressing in depth 2 questions from our audience. These focus on mentalization, the attachment spectrum and regression. We look at how we can lose the capacity to mentalize when we are in a dismissing state of mind and what happens when we regress into early modes of functioning - fun juicy topics! Enjoy!
December 14, 2018
Using the science of attachment, mentalizing and emotional regulation in the classroom.  A look at the take-aways from a tour of relational science experts, guest Linno Rhodes joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley as they look at applying the skills learned in one's life and the workplace.
December 14, 2018
Using the science of attachment, mentalizing and emotional regulation in the classroom.  A look at the take-aways from a tour of relational science experts, guest Linno Rhodes joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley as they look at applying the skills learned in one's life and the workplace.
November 30, 2018
Neurobiological differences can be detected between secure and insecure relating, and even between the two organized insecure patterns of attachment (Dismissing and Preoccupied)!  Cool, huh!? In this Therapist Uncensored episode, co-hosts and real therapists Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP  begin to the question - why are there only 3-4 categories established in the largest body of attachment research given the zillions of different experiences across the globe?  We point to the neuroscience behind our attachment strategies that limit our biology in responding to stress and threat. This is cool because we can understand it and begin to gain mastery over our primitive reactions (& help regulate those close to us - quite a perk!). As always, we love to hearing from you!  Uncensor you feedback, comments & discussion - get in touch, or better yet, leave us a live Voicemail that we can respond to by clicking the side button on our website (add your email to enable us to message back)! In this episode, TU84, we discuss: * What is social engagement and what is the neuroscience behind it? * The role of Oxytocin in positive interaction seeking behaviour * Discrepancies in how information gets encoded between different partners can lead to difficulties with couples, especially with how future social information is encoded * The link between attachment and threat * The role of re-appraisal & neuroception * The difference between emotional and cognitive mentalization * How mentalization looks across the attachment spectrum Join the Conversation We primarily use Facebook and Twitter (@austinshrinks) This week’s question (for our private online Facebook group – join here if you are a neuronerd and would like interesting, supportive, non-solicitive engagement with other neuronerds!) Question: What 1-2 specific take-aways did you get from this episode?  (ie. What do you want to remember or for other people to be sure to hear?) Explore these Resources from this episode: * Neuroscience of Social Interaction and Adult Attachment Style – GREAT article! * The Neurobiology of Infant Attachments  – a list of articles * Neurobiology of Social Interactions - for true nerds Liked this episode? Then you’ll probably enjoy this one, too Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships with Guest Bonnie Badenoch. Follow our Podcast * Subscribe to  Therapist Uncensored on any podcast player, there are TONS but here are links to:  iTunes, Android (Google Podcast app now supports all formats, it's already on your Android phone) and Spotify   (this means epidsodes are downloaded automatically to your podcast player)
November 30, 2018
Neurobiological differences can be detected between secure and insecure relating, and even between the two organized insecure patterns of attachment (Dismissing and Preoccupied)!  Cool, huh!? In this Therapist Uncensored episode, co-hosts and real therapists Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP  begin to the question – why are there only 3-4 categories established in the largest body of attachment research given the zillions of different experiences across the globe?  We point to the neuroscience behind our attachment strategies that limit our biology in responding to stress and threat. This is cool because we can understand it and begin to gain mastery over our primitive reactions (& help regulate those close to us – quite a perk!). As always, we love to hearing from you!  Uncensor you feedback, comments & discussion – get in touch, or better yet, leave us a live Voicemail that we can respond to by clicking the side button on our website (add your email to enable us to message back)! In this episode, TU84, we discuss: * What is social engagement and what is the neuroscience behind it? * The role of Oxytocin in positive interaction seeking behaviour * Discrepancies in how information gets encoded between different partners can lead to difficulties with couples, especially with how future social information is encoded * The link between attachment and threat * The role of re-appraisal & neuroception * The difference between emotional and cognitive mentalization * How mentalization looks across the attachment spectrum Join the Conversation We primarily use Facebook and Twitter (@austinshrinks) This week’s question (for our private online Facebook group – join here if you are a neuronerd and would like interesting, supportive, non-solicitive engagement with other neuronerds!) Question: What 1-2 specific take-aways did you get from this episode?  (ie. What do you want to remember or for other people to be sure to hear?) Explore these Resources from this episode: * Neuroscience of Social Interaction and Adult Attachment Style – GREAT article! * The Neurobiology of Infant Attachments  – a list of articles * Neurobiology of Social Interactions – for true nerds Liked this episode? Then you’ll probably enjoy this one, too Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships with Guest Bonnie Badenoch. Follow our Podcast * Subscribe to  Therapist Uncensored on any podcast player, there are TONS but here are links to:  iTunes, Android (Google Podcast app now supports all formats, it’s already on your Android phone) and Spotify   (this means epidsodes are downloaded automatically to your podcast player) * You can listen via Alexa or Google smart speakers… *  
November 7, 2018
Learn about the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it's capacity to engage safety and heal trauma.  In addition, this episode addresses the myth of self-regulation and how to re-engage interpersonal relationships if they've been neglected. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP chats with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system.  Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00  What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received?  Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation.  What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of  ideal parent figure protocol.  Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life.  30:00-60:00  Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response.   Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions.  It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”?  Resources: A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch  The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch  The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships  by Steve Porges! For our listeners! We've partnered with Audible so that our listeners get a free audio book and 30 days free membership, cancel at anytime! GET MY FREE BOOK HERE We are now part of Patreon!  Become a Supernerd, an Out and Proud Supernerd or become a Platinum Neuronerd! :)  For as little as $1 a month you can join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Supernerds to gain private,
November 7, 2018
Learn about the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma.  In addition, this episode addresses the myth of self-regulation and how to re-engage interpersonal relationships if they’ve been neglected. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP chats with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system.  Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00  What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received?  Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation.  What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of  ideal parent figure protocol.  Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life.  30:00-60:00  Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response.   Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions.  It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”?  Resources: A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch  The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch  The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships  by Steve Porges!   For our listeners! We’ve partnered with Audible so that our listeners get a free audio book and 30 days free membership, cancel at anytime! GET MY FREE BOOK HERE We are now part of Patreon!  Become a Supernerd, an Out and Proud Supernerd or become a Platinum Neuronerd! 🙂  For as little as $1 a month you can join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Supernerds to gain private, more in-depth episodes AND to support production of this podcast to provide access to the science of relationships across the globe.   YES SIGN ME UP FOR PATREON,
October 24, 2018
Can men be BOTH Relational and Masculine?  It couldn’t be a more important time for thoughtful, honest, and provocative discussion on what it means to be a man in today’s culture.  Perel makes a case that men are both harmed by the existing power structures and perpetuate harm by the codes imposed on them by all of us. In 2018 there are many contentious ideas about masculinity and “the male code” including confusion by men about how to hold themselves out as safe and masculine during this time of #MeToo and Kavanaugh. Esther Perel, named by Oprah as one of the 100 Supersoul visionaries joins Therapist Uncensored’s hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott in a daring discussion about the modern man at the precipice of historic mid-term elections in the United States.  Can women discuss this without “womensplaining” and what is the difference?  Well there certainly is…  Find out by hitting play! Perel also gives a glimpse into the backstory of her next Sessions Live event, the Masculinity Paradox  Second annual Sessions Live: “The Masculinity Paradox” sign up here. What is it – check it out below: Debates around patriarchy, gender equality, toxic masculinity, fatherhood and changing sexual dynamics surround us like fog, throwing us into an unusual time of transition, confusion and trouble. This one-day Sessions 2018 clinical event and workshop is built on the premise that if we support change in the emotional lives of men, it inevitably changes the lives of their partners. Drawing from psychology, trauma theory, family systems therapy, and anthropology, The Masculinity Paradox provides an essential multidisciplinary training on the current cultural crisis of gender relations — and its unique potential to change and improve the lives of all.   Episode notes: 00-20:00 Perel discusses her interest in the topic of men as well as the ability to discuss others in general and encourages women to talk about masculinity and men to talk about femininity.  Perel previews what her “Sessions Live” events are like.  Perel reflects on under/over-representation in certain fields and how she can better provide a platform for unheard voices.  Perel’s definition of the modern man and modern masculinity as a win-or-lose mentality. Perel breaks down “the male code”. What are the pressures put on men in society and in relationships?  20:00-40:00  Expectations of change compared with ambivalence towards change. Emotional afflictions of women can be considered worse for men because society deems that they are not supposed to have these feelings.  Like this and want to hear more?  Join our email list here, subscribe to Tunes here or leave us a voicemail on our website just click the button on the right, we may read or play your review on air, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast player, it helps so much!! Finally – this is really easy – join our Facebook page here to get updated popular articles on these subjects of interest. Check out our free YouTube video on using the attachment spectrum:  Modern Adult Attachment 101 to learn more Want more like this? Sexual Vitality 6 Principles of Sexual Health with Doug Braun-Harvey Resources: Masculinity Paradox livestream
October 24, 2018
Can men be BOTH Relational and Masculine?  It couldn't be a more important time for thoughtful, honest, and provocative discussion on what it means to be a man in today's culture.  Perel makes a case that men are both harmed by the existing power structures and perpetuate harm by the codes imposed on them by all of us. In 2018 there are many contentious ideas about masculinity and “the male code” including confusion by men about how to hold themselves out as safe and masculine during this time of #MeToo and Kavanaugh. Esther Perel, named by Oprah as one of the 100 Supersoul visionaries joins Therapist Uncensored’s hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott in a daring discussion about the modern man at the precipice of historic mid-term elections in the United States.  Can women discuss this without "womensplaining" and what is the difference?  Well there certainly is...  Find out by hitting play! Perel also gives a glimpse into the backstory of her next Sessions Live event, the Masculinity Paradox  Second annual Sessions Live: "The Masculinity Paradox" sign up here. What is it - check it out below: Debates around patriarchy, gender equality, toxic masculinity, fatherhood and changing sexual dynamics surround us like fog, throwing us into an unusual time of transition, confusion and trouble. This one-day Sessions 2018 clinical event and workshop is built on the premise that if we support change in the emotional lives of men, it inevitably changes the lives of their partners. Drawing from psychology, trauma theory, family systems therapy, and anthropology, The Masculinity Paradox provides an essential multidisciplinary training on the current cultural crisis of gender relations -- and its unique potential to change and improve the lives of all. Episode notes: 00-20:00 Perel discusses her interest in the topic of men as well as the ability to discuss others in general and encourages women to talk about masculinity and men to talk about femininity.  Perel previews what her “Sessions Live” events are like.  Perel reflects on under/over-representation in certain fields and how she can better provide a platform for unheard voices.  Perel’s definition of the modern man and modern masculinity as a win-or-lose mentality. Perel breaks down “the male code”. What are the pressures put on men in society and in relationships?  20:00-40:00  Expectations of change compared with ambivalence towards change. Emotional afflictions of women can be considered worse for men because society deems that they are not supposed to have these feelings.  Like this and want to hear more?  Join our email list here, subscribe to Tunes here or leave us a voicemail on our website just click the button on the right, we may read or play your review on air, please rate and review us on your favorite podcast player, it helps so much!! Finally - this is really easy - join our Facebook page here to get updated popular articles on these subjects of interest. Check out our free YouTube video on using the attachment spectrum:  Modern Adult Attachment 101 to learn more Want more like this? Sexual Vitality 6 Principles of Sexual Health with Doug Braun-Harvey Resources: Masculinity Paradox liv...
October 17, 2018
Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary setting.  Most of us haven’t been lucky enough to learn to be good at boundary setting naturally, by good examples, so we have to literally be taught how to do this important skill.  Well today we are in luck!  Jello will be your friend.  🙂 Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and how it relates to boundaries. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create boundaries and how to stay regulated using internal mechanisms. After this podcast, you may very well be on your way towards building your own “Jello wall” and better co-regulating yourself when you’re overwhelmed!  0:00-25:00  Some background on Juliane Taylor Shore: Founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin with interests in interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience, philosophy, biology and physics.  How are boundaries defined and what sort of connotations come with boundaries? How can the connection between boundaries and interpersonal neurobiology actually bring people closer?   The Three Types of  Boundaries  External, Behavioral Boundary: “I don’t want to talk to you when you raise your voice at me.” Or “I’d love to see you but I can’t right now.”  The concept of having to say “no”.  Psychological Boundary: separation between people, difference between true self and parts of self (“air” between people, your truth and my truth are allowed to be different) “Jello Wall”  Containing Boundary: (individually deeming what’s okay leading up to healthy shame) Boundary that stops you from acting out.  Co-creating boundaries between two people is a great way to negotiate disagreements and find a middle ground.  “Fucked up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not punishments, judgments or betrayals. They’re a purely peaceable thing. The basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors. Boundaries teach people how to treat you and they teach you how to respect yourself.” – Cheryl Strayed (Author of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail)   “Jello wall”: Stop and slow down all the input coming towards you so you can ask, “Is this true or not true?” and “If it is, is this about me or not about me?” This allows you to view the world around you without getting hurt. Allows you space to reflect and be in your own system.  The differences between the logical left brain and abstract right brain influence how they connect neural networks. Healthy shame is important to not beat one’s self up over establishing boundaries.  Using young ones and animals to teach your inner protector parts to have a better containing boundary, relieving trauma by talking to your young self (you at four, sixteen, etc.) rather than beating your present self up.  25:00-50:00  Exploring the connection between attachment and interpersonal neurobiology.  The anticipation of threat before setting a boundary and connecting to something after getting overwhelmed so that it’s part of your life narrative and not something that keeps popping up.  The individual nervous system isn’t meant to survive being alone after trauma but we need co-regulatory nervous systems AND you can be your own co-regulatory system.  You can start by building up your relationship with yourself and learning to trust your internal voices, neural networks or other people.  Examples working through the three types of boundaries; Co-creating a boundary with a spouse over lack of communication. Turning down a panicked client when you’re totally booked. Having uncomfortable physical contact with an older family member when saying good...
October 17, 2018
Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary setting.  Most of us haven't been lucky enough to learn to be good at boundary setting naturally, by good examples, so we have to literally be taught how to do this important skill.  Well today we are in luck!  Jello will be your friend.  :) Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott join the founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin, Dr. Juliane Taylor Shore, in a discussion on interpersonal neurobiology and how it relates to boundaries. We’ll explore the three types of boundaries, how to co-create boundaries and how to stay regulated using internal mechanisms. After this podcast, you may very well be on your way towards building your own “Jello wall” and better co-regulating yourself when you’re overwhelmed!  0:00-25:00  Some background on Juliane Taylor Shore: Founder of IPNB Psychotherapy of Austin with interests in interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience, philosophy, biology and physics.  How are boundaries defined and what sort of connotations come with boundaries? How can the connection between boundaries and interpersonal neurobiology actually bring people closer?   The Three Types of  Boundaries  External, Behavioral Boundary: “I don’t want to talk to you when you raise your voice at me.” Or “I’d love to see you but I can’t right now.”  The concept of having to say “no”.  Psychological Boundary: separation between people, difference between true self and parts of self (“air” between people, your truth and my truth are allowed to be different) “Jello Wall”  Containing Boundary: (individually deeming what’s okay leading up to healthy shame) Boundary that stops you from acting out.  Co-creating boundaries between two people is a great way to negotiate disagreements and find a middle ground.  “Fucked up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not punishments, judgments or betrayals. They’re a purely peaceable thing. The basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors. Boundaries teach people how to treat you and they teach you how to respect yourself.” – Cheryl Strayed (Author of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail)   “Jello wall”: Stop and slow down all the input coming towards you so you can ask, “Is this true or not true?” and “If it is, is this about me or not about me?” This allows you to view the world around you without getting hurt. Allows you space to reflect and be in your own system.  The differences between the logical left brain and abstract right brain influence how they connect neural networks. Healthy shame is important to not beat one’s self up over establishing boundaries.  Using young ones and animals to teach your inner protector parts to have a better containing boundary, relieving trauma by talking to your young self (you at four, sixteen, etc.) rather than beating your present self up.  25:00-50:00  Exploring the connection between attachment and interpersonal neurobiology.  The anticipation of threat before setting a boundary and connecting to something after getting overwhelmed so that it’s part of your life narrative and not something that keeps popping up.  The individual nervous system isn’t meant to survive being alone after trauma but we need co-regulatory nervous systems AND you can be your own co-regulatory system.  You can start by building up your relationship with yourself and learning to trust your internal voices, neural networks or other people.  Examples working through the three types of boundaries; Co-creating a boundary with a spouse ove...
October 4, 2018
We joke around a lot on this show, but when it hits the fan we are serious therapists devoted to treating real people and all kinds of survivors.  Today we give our best guess on they science behind why people are responding overwhelmingly to Dr. Ford's testimony - calling national and local crisis hotlines in unprecedented numbers.  We speak in this moment not from a political perspective, but from a somatic, nervous system perspective.  Something has stirred in the American public even different than the #MeToo movement, and we speak to it on this episode. We also touch on the science of memory, implicit and explicit, mirror neurons, stress hormones and threat responses and most importantly the power of patriarchy to harm both women and men, both political parties and our democracy as we know it.
October 4, 2018
We joke around a lot on this show, but when it hits the fan we are serious therapists devoted to treating real people and all kinds of survivors.  Today we give our best guess on they science behind why people are responding overwhelmingly to Dr. Ford's testimony - calling national and local crisis hotlines in unprecedented numbers.  We speak in this moment not from a political perspective, but from a somatic, nervous system perspective.  Something has stirred in the American public even different than the #MeToo movement, and we speak to it on this episode. We also touch on the science of memory, implicit and explicit, mirror neurons, stress hormones and threat responses and most importantly the power of patriarchy to harm both women and men, both political parties and our democracy as we know it.
October 2, 2018
A guide to secure relating and using the attachment sciences and regulation theory to improve your understanding of yourself and others in your day to day lives.  Today we review what we've discussed so far on the podcast about the attachment spectrum and add more detail about the nervous system.
October 2, 2018
A guide to secure relating and using the attachment sciences and regulation theory to improve your understanding of yourself and others in your day to day lives.  Today we review what we've discussed so far on the podcast about the attachment spectrum and add more detail about the nervous system.
September 26, 2018
FAVORITE EPISODE!!!  This one takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s involuntary response to stress, and how that stress response system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years.  In this episode, co-hosts Ann Kelley Phd and Sue Marriott LCSW,  CGP discuss attachment across the lifespan, specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging.
September 26, 2018
FAVORITE EPISODE!!!  This one takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s involuntary response to stress, and how that stress response system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years.  In this episode, co-hosts Ann Kelley Phd and Sue Marriott LCSW,  CGP discuss attachment across the lifespan, specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging.
September 11, 2018
Deep discussion on how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than be seen from a place of doom. Dr. Siegel called for us all to become pervasive leaders – a great inspiration. Look for a new interview with Dr. Siegel coming soon on his new book, Aware. We will publish that very early into our next season which will be launched soon! Interview with Dr Dan Siegel, the father of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB).  Get a peak into his thoughts on building hope in our fear-based culture today, human kind across history and using this science to make changes individually and as a society. Sue Marriott LCSW and Patty Olwell LPC speak with Dr. Dan Siegel about the most recent finding in his new book, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human (A New York Times Best Seller). Dan Siegel discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than from place of doom. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders — Pervasive Leadership characteristics : * Change your mental model of I and Thou. * Act locally; think holistically. * Enact empathetic stewardship Human history over time – Sapians – (see resource list). Homosapians have been killing their brothers and kin since the beginning of recorded time, so any current cultural unkindness is part of our hardwiring. We can rise above it, but first recognize it as human. Interpersonal neurobiology – coined by Dan Siegel in 1999 is a way of living and viewing the world with a set of principles that lead toward integration. Integration – combining distinct specialized functions that link and connect the specializations together, creating harmony. This is a view that can be utilized within one person and across couples, families, organizations and nations. In-group/Out-group discussion and Mindsight When a person is seen as the same, we have a natural resonance and empathy.   If we feel safe we can extend that to those that appear Other. If we feel threat – even if we don’t know we are feeling it (nanoseconds of a threatening photo flashed, outside of our awareness) we respond strongly by turning off our empathy for the Out-group and turning up our response to the In-group. This is the explanation for what is happening here in the United States and Britain and many places around the world where genocides are occurring. Terror is driving this IN/OUT hostile behavior. With practice this can be changed. Say to yourself: My nervous system is making me treat the other person as an Out group member with more hostility, but that goes against my larger values of treating all human beings, all living beings with deep respect, as I would my In-group. We can rise above it. Rise above our brains initial proclivity towards bias and our mind to actively change how our brain ultimately carries out behavior – to be able to see the others mind and treat them as an in-group. Compassionately, fairly. Our leaders, people who run our country, organizations, educational institutions, clinicians, and people in positions to raise children… all have brains and minds that can overcome this biologic bias. We should see them as humans with limitations. Uninformed. They need safety to let down. FACES * Flexible * Adaptive * Coherent * Energetic * Stable MWE = me in a body + we in connection to others and the planet Eudaimonia – Greek term that means life filled by meaning and connection and equanimity not from producing and consuming junk   Join our email list at www.therapistuncensored.com to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy ...
September 11, 2018
Deep discussion on how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than be seen from a place of doom. Dr. Siegel called for us all to become pervasive leaders - a great inspiration. Look for a new interview with Dr. Siegel coming soon on his new book, Aware. We will publish that very early into our next season which will be launched soon! Interview with Dr Dan Siegel, the father of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB).  Get a peak into his thoughts on building hope in our fear-based culture today, human kind across history and using this science to make changes individually and as a society. Sue Marriott LCSW and Patty Olwell LPC speak with Dr. Dan Siegel about the most recent finding in his new book, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human (A New York Times Best Seller). Dan Siegel discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than from place of doom. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders -- Pervasive Leadership characteristics : * Change your mental model of I and Thou. * Act locally; think holistically. * Enact empathetic stewardship Human history over time – Sapians – (see resource list). Homosapians have been killing their brothers and kin since the beginning of recorded time, so any current cultural unkindness is part of our hardwiring. We can rise above it, but first recognize it as human. Interpersonal neurobiology – coined by Dan Siegel in 1999 is a way of living and viewing the world with a set of principles that lead toward integration. Integration – combining distinct specialized functions that link and connect the specializations together, creating harmony. This is a view that can be utilized within one person and across couples, families, organizations and nations. In-group/Out-group discussion and Mindsight When a person is seen as the same, we have a natural resonance and empathy.   If we feel safe we can extend that to those that appear Other. If we feel threat – even if we don’t know we are feeling it (nanoseconds of a threatening photo flashed, outside of our awareness) we respond strongly by turning off our empathy for the Out-group and turning up our response to the In-group. This is the explanation for what is happening here in the United States and Britain and many places around the world where genocides are occurring. Terror is driving this IN/OUT hostile behavior. With practice this can be changed. Say to yourself: My nervous system is making me treat the other person as an Out group member with more hostility, but that goes against my larger values of treating all human beings, all living beings with deep respect, as I would my In-group. We can rise above it. Rise above our brains initial proclivity towards bias and our mind to actively change how our brain ultimately carries out behavior – to be able to see the others mind and treat them as an in-group. Compassionately, fairly. Our leaders, people who run our country, organizations, educational institutions, clinicians, and people in positions to raise children… all have brains and minds that can overcome this biologic bias. We should see them as humans with limitations. Uninformed. They need safety to let down. FACES * Flexible * Adaptive * Coherent * Energetic * Stable MWE = me in a body + we in connection to others and the planet Eudaimonia – Greek term that means life filled by meaning and connection and equanimity not from producing and consuming junk Join our email list at www.
August 30, 2018
Sue and Ann walk the walk by bringing authenticity and vulnerability to their listeners and seeking connection, engagement and feedback. They also request listener feedback and input to help them co-create an exciting and high quality Season 3 of Therapist Uncensored.
August 30, 2018
Sue and Ann walk the walk by bringing authenticity and vulnerability to their listeners and seeking connection, engagement and feedback. They also request listener feedback and input to help them co-create an exciting and high quality Season 3 of Therapist Uncensored.
August 22, 2018
Mentalizing seems easy – but actually it is quite complex. Thinking accurately about our own and others minds is such a core skill that many consider it a pre-condition for self-soothing, empathy and other facets of emotional intelligence and social-emotional maturity.
August 22, 2018
Mentalizing seems easy – but actually it is quite complex. Thinking accurately about our own and others minds is such a core skill that many consider it a pre-condition for self-soothing, empathy and other facets of emotional intelligence and social-emotional maturity.
August 15, 2018
Self Compassion is an antidote to shame, the underpinning of narcissism.  It is fierce accountability that is core to psychological health… who knew?   Most of us think of it as being soft on yourself, but our guest will reveal the surprising power and science of self-compassion in this episode. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley interviews Dr. Kristen Neff, an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a foremost author and expert on Self Compassion. Self Esteem vs Self Compassion This is not feel-good, la-la, therapy-talk, it’s real science. Learn the important distinction between self esteem and self compassion, and how one can lead to psychological instability, self-criticism, stress, competition and difficulty within ourselves, our relationships and our culture. You really want to get this right and may be surprised! Treating yourself as your own best friend.
August 15, 2018
Self Compassion is an antidote to shame, the underpinning of narcissism.  It is fierce accountability that is core to psychological health… who knew?   Most of us think of it as being soft on yourself, but our guest will reveal the surprising power and science of self-compassion in this episode. Co-host Dr. Ann Kelley interviews Dr. Kristen Neff, an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a foremost author and expert on Self Compassion. Self Esteem vs Self Compassion This is not feel-good, la-la, therapy-talk, it’s real science. Learn the important distinction between self esteem and self compassion, and how one can lead to psychological instability, self-criticism, stress, competition and difficulty within ourselves, our relationships and our culture. You really want to get this right and may be surprised! Treating yourself as your own best friend.
August 4, 2018
Finding the middle ground between constantly attending to your child versus letting them learn to self-soothe is a challenge that all parents must face. In this episode, Therapist Uncensored hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP, break down the difference between “Attachment Parenting” and the science of actual Attachment theory.  They share key elements from research outcomes that surround many common misconceptions of applying the theory itself. You’ll learn that the ideals setup by Dr.William and Martha Sears and Richard Ferber might not fully translate in today’s world of parenting and that the way you respond to your child’s needs is a determining factor in how secure they will be later in life. Thank you to our sponsor!   Episode brought to you in part by Theranest, they help keep us on the air and being able to offset the costs of producing this show.  Please visit their website and check out their services, you have nothing to lose and produUtivity to gain! We’ve arranged a deal to get 20%off your first 3 months to give you a chance to try it out.  We know you don’t want to spend your time billing, you want to spend your time across from people you care about – clients, friends, family,  your pets, whomever.  But not the computer. Let them help you.U 0:00-10:00 Introduction Attachment Parenting is mostly associated with Sears & Sears Modern research shows that providing children love, kindness and responsiveness results in a more well adjusted person Attachment Theory: how a child learns that their primary caregiver can safely respond to them when they’re distressed Attachment parenting by Sears and Sears asserts the importance of the three B’s: Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing, and Baby Sleeping Attachment is a two-way process between parent and child 10:00-20:00 The three essentials for developing secure functioning Children use their caregiver to regulate their body until they can do it on their own Filling children up for exploration and being available for refueling rather than keeping children attached to you continuously Responsiveness doesn’t have to be so strict and can be attuned to your family’s needs Attunement builds secure attachment Children are resilient and will bounce back so don’t feel you have to follow all the rules, make it work for the parent-child dyad. Focus on attunement rather than strict adherence to a technique. 20:00-30:00 Babies sleeping through the night is not necessarily a sign of secure attachment Sleep training and Ferberizing is not necessarily allowing babies to “cry it out” but is a way of training them to sleep on their own. Research indicates that babies should not be sleep trained prior to 6 months of age Learning what your child’s cries mean helps you become attuned to them Putting children to bed prior to falling asleep allows them to learn to sleep on their own 30:00-40:00 Studies have shown that parent and child’s cortisol levels are both elevated at the start of sleep training but, over time the caregiver’s goes down as the child expresses less distress yet the babies often stay elevated. No shame parenting allows parents to respond to their children in a way that helps them grow Children need to learn to get distressed and cry and to be soothed be loving caregivers “Prepare the child for the path and not the path for the child” Wrap up and outro Resources The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to U...
August 4, 2018
Finding the middle ground between constantly attending to your child versus letting them learn to self-soothe is a challenge that all parents must face. In this episode, Therapist Uncensored hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP, break down the difference between "Attachment Parenting" and the science of actual Attachment theory.  They share key elements from research outcomes that surround many common misconceptions of applying the theory itself. You’ll learn that the ideals setup by Dr.William and Martha Sears and Richard Ferber might not fully translate in today’s world of parenting and that the way you respond to your child’s needs is a determining factor in how secure they will be later in life. Thank you to our sponsor! Episode brought to you in part by Theranest, they help keep us on the air and being able to offset the costs of producing this show.  Please visit their website and check out their services, you have nothing to lose and produUtivity to gain! We've arranged a deal to get 20%off your first 3 months to give you a chance to try it out.  We know you don't want to spend your time billing, you want to spend your time across from people you care about - clients, friends, family,  your pets, whomever.  But not the computer. Let them help you.U 0:00-10:00 Introduction Attachment Parenting is mostly associated with Sears & Sears Modern research shows that providing children love, kindness and responsiveness results in a more well adjusted person Attachment Theory: how a child learns that their primary caregiver can safely respond to them when they’re distressed Attachment parenting by Sears and Sears asserts the importance of the three B’s: Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing, and Baby Sleeping Attachment is a two-way process between parent and child 10:00-20:00 The three essentials for developing secure functioning Children use their caregiver to regulate their body until they can do it on their own Filling children up for exploration and being available for refueling rather than keeping children attached to you continuously Responsiveness doesn’t have to be so strict and can be attuned to your family’s needs Attunement builds secure attachment Children are resilient and will bounce back so don’t feel you have to follow all the rules, make it work for the parent-child dyad. Focus on attunement rather than strict adherence to a technique. 20:00-30:00 Babies sleeping through the night is not necessarily a sign of secure attachment Sleep training and Ferberizing is not necessarily allowing babies to "cry it out" but is a way of training them to sleep on their own. Research indicates that babies should not be sleep trained prior to 6 months of age Learning what your child’s cries mean helps you become attuned to them Putting children to bed prior to falling asleep allows them to learn to sleep on their own 30:00-40:00 Studies have shown that parent and child’s cortisol levels are both elevated at the start of sleep training but, over time the caregiver's goes down as the child expresses less distress yet the babies often stay elevated. No shame parenting allows parents to respond to their children in a way that helps them grow Children need to learn to get distressed and cry and to be soothed be loving caregivers “Prepare the child for the path and not the path for the child” Wrap up and outro Resources
July 24, 2018
What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout?  It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency.  However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or lack thereof), pleasure (or lack therefo) and, oh yeah, the mechanics of sex as well.   But don’t sweat it, in this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about talking about sex.   Learn to overcome the difficulties of opening up to yourself and your sexual partner about these very personal and understandably anxiety-filled conversations. Dr. Susan Ansorge is a practicing psychologist in Austin, TX. Her interest, training and experience in working with sexual issues began during her tenure as a staff psychologist at the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center, and has continued through her 17 years of private practice. Dr. Ansorge was also member of the Austin Women’s Psychotherapy Project, bringing leaders in the field of gender-aware Psychotherapy to the Austin area, as well as presenting locally and nationally on topics in the areas of gender and sexuality as they relate to psychotherapy. Her written work has appeared in the National Center for PTSD Quarterly. 0:00-10:00 Introduction General difficulties in discussing sex with your partner Learning to talk about talking about sex Desire discrepancy and more complicated questions/conversations about sex The difficulty in beginning a discussion that you are afraid might be hurtful to your partner   10:00-20:00 How best to get dialogue going with your partner about desires and likes/dislikes When and where is the right place and time for the right conversation about your shared sex life? How sex is initiated and finding a compatible middle ground Desires and fantasies can often be considered taboo, but fantasies can also be a gold mine of communication Difference in fantasies between men and women, women of different ages   20:00-30:00 The element of novelty in women’s fantasies and element of pleasing their partner in men’s fantasies Part of women’s fantasies is being desired Caretaking and nurturing is counterintuitive to sexual narcissism Avoiding arousal/desire censorship   30:00-40:00 How to bring up talking about sex to one’s partner and using available resources Appreciating one’s partners perspective just like in any communication setting Wrap up and outro   Resources Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel, former guest on our show. The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin  Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex:  Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship by Laurie B. Mintz  Come as You Are by Emily Nagosaki We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well!  Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease.
July 24, 2018
What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout?  It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency.  However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or lack thereof), pleasure (or lack therefo) and, oh yeah, the mechanics of sex as well.   But don't sweat it, in this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about talking about sex.   Learn to overcome the difficulties of opening up to yourself and your sexual partner about these very personal and understandably anxiety-filled conversations. Dr. Susan Ansorge is a practicing psychologist in Austin, TX. Her interest, training and experience in working with sexual issues began during her tenure as a staff psychologist at the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center, and has continued through her 17 years of private practice. Dr. Ansorge was also member of the Austin Women’s Psychotherapy Project, bringing leaders in the field of gender-aware Psychotherapy to the Austin area, as well as presenting locally and nationally on topics in the areas of gender and sexuality as they relate to psychotherapy. Her written work has appeared in the National Center for PTSD Quarterly. 0:00-10:00 Introduction General difficulties in discussing sex with your partner Learning to talk about talking about sex Desire discrepancy and more complicated questions/conversations about sex The difficulty in beginning a discussion that you are afraid might be hurtful to your partner 10:00-20:00 How best to get dialogue going with your partner about desires and likes/dislikes When and where is the right place and time for the right conversation about your shared sex life? How sex is initiated and finding a compatible middle ground Desires and fantasies can often be considered taboo, but fantasies can also be a gold mine of communication Difference in fantasies between men and women, women of different ages   20:00-30:00 The element of novelty in women’s fantasies and element of pleasing their partner in men’s fantasies Part of women’s fantasies is being desired Caretaking and nurturing is counterintuitive to sexual narcissism Avoiding arousal/desire censorship   30:00-40:00 How to bring up talking about sex to one’s partner and using available resources Appreciating one’s partners perspective just like in any communication setting Wrap up and outro   Resources Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel, former guest on our show. The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin  Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex:  Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship by Laurie B. Mintz  Come as You Are by Emily Nagosaki We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well!
July 19, 2018
Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around?  Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness just adds to the stress trap. As real therapists, we challenge you to not believe what you think.  Inquire. It’s healthy to question the stories you tell about yourself and the world… update your model.  Check out your story.  See if what you tell yourself is still true, or has ever been true. If it’s right there is no problem in questioning,  but if you are in a mental rut you wouldn’t know it unless you cache the map and look again. In this episode we ask you, has being busy become an identity, a badge of honor, or is it simply a fear of being idle?  Perhaps an antidote to loneliness? A way to be needed?  A VIP?  Are you choosing your schedule or feel as if you are being handed it?  Is that true?  🙂 Dive deep into an exploration of how our relationship to busyness can distance us from ourselves and those around us. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss how a sense of urgency, a desire for a sense of importance, stress, and discomfort are all interrelated in dealing with idleness in your everyday lives. We’ll talk about how you can keep your mind engaged in moments of idleness and how you can make the most of your resting state by truly being idle or through purposeful activity. 0:00-10:00  Introduction Why do our minds want to be busy? How is being busy a culturally dictated status symbol? Choice and sense of urgency effect Purpose, busyness and stress The psychological discomfort of idleness despite the natural, evolutionary desire to choose it 10:00-20:00  Choosing idleness as a primal need to conserve energy Natural aversion to idleness without purpose The appeal of mindfulness through its intent to bring you something Keeping your brain busy with new skills keeps it healthier in the long run (processing speed, episodic memory) 20:00-30:00Differentiating being full vs. being busy Importance vs. urgency Your brain is always working, even (or especially) in idle times How best to use your resting state 30:00-40:00Learn to be idle rather than occupy your idle time OR move and be active (purposeful l idleness vs. purposeful activity) Boredom and stimulation, meaning and purpose Wrap up and outro   Resources: Being busy may be good for your brain!  Smithsonian Magazine.   The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind  The Busier the Better: Greater Busyness Is Associated with Better Cognition   We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well!  Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease.  They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service.  Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored.
July 19, 2018
Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around?  Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness just adds to the stress trap. As real therapists, we challenge you to not believe what you think.  Inquire. It's healthy to question the stories you tell about yourself and the world... update your model.  Check out your story.  See if what you tell yourself is still true, or has ever been true. If it's right there is no problem in questioning,  but if you are in a mental rut you wouldn't know it unless you cache the map and look again. In this episode we ask you, has being busy become an identity, a badge of honor, or is it simply a fear of being idle?  Perhaps an antidote to loneliness? A way to be needed?  A VIP?  Are you choosing your schedule or feel as if you are being handed it?  Is that true?  :) Dive deep into an exploration of how our relationship to busyness can distance us from ourselves and those around us. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss how a sense of urgency, a desire for a sense of importance, stress, and discomfort are all interrelated in dealing with idleness in your everyday lives. We’ll talk about how you can keep your mind engaged in moments of idleness and how you can make the most of your resting state by truly being idle or through purposeful activity. 0:00-10:00  Introduction Why do our minds want to be busy? How is being busy a culturally dictated status symbol? Choice and sense of urgency effect Purpose, busyness and stress The psychological discomfort of idleness despite the natural, evolutionary desire to choose it 10:00-20:00  Choosing idleness as a primal need to conserve energy Natural aversion to idleness without purpose The appeal of mindfulness through its intent to bring you something Keeping your brain busy with new skills keeps it healthier in the long run (processing speed, episodic memory) 20:00-30:00Differentiating being full vs. being busy Importance vs. urgency Your brain is always working, even (or especially) in idle times How best to use your resting state 30:00-40:00Learn to be idle rather than occupy your idle time OR move and be active (purposeful l idleness vs. purposeful activity) Boredom and stimulation, meaning and purpose Wrap up and outro Resources: Being busy may be good for your brain!  Smithsonian Magazine.   The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind  The Busier the Better: Greater Busyness Is Associated with Better Cognition   We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well!  Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease.  They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service.  Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with
July 10, 2018
Walk through the discovery experience of coming to understand yourself as transgender and see how this coming to know yourself relates to everyone, not just those who identify as non-binary. What's the difference between transgender and butch lesbian, sex, gender and sexual orientation, tomboy and trans... and what's the deal with the strange pronouns. Find out here.
July 10, 2018
Walk through the discovery experience of coming to understand yourself as transgender and see how this coming to know yourself relates to everyone, not just those who identify as non-binary. What's the difference between transgender and butch lesbian, sex, gender and sexual orientation, tomboy and trans... and what's the deal with the strange pronouns. Find out here.
July 2, 2018
"Security" at the border?  Relational science professionals have a lot to offer to understand the human rights event that is unfolding on the US-Mexico border.  This podcast has been all about promoting security in ourselves and our loved ones, and a primary component to this is access to your caregiver when you are young.  It effects our biology, or persistent sense of ourselves and our view of the world.  But it works both ways... Stress and fear that is ongoing also has the same persistent thumbprint as well.
July 2, 2018
"Security" at the border?  Relational science professionals have a lot to offer to understand the human rights event that is unfolding on the US-Mexico border.  This podcast has been all about promoting security in ourselves and our loved ones, and a primary component to this is access to your caregiver when you are young.  It effects our biology, or persistent sense of ourselves and our view of the world.  But it works both ways... Stress and fear that is ongoing also has the same persistent thumbprint as well.
June 25, 2018
As we continue our discussion of the relational sciences in everyday life, this episodes examines practical treatment ideas from a practitioner's playbook. Mirroring Hands is outlined and demonstrated in this episode.
June 25, 2018
As we continue our discussion of the relational sciences in everyday life, this episodes examines practical treatment ideas from a practitioner's playbook. Mirroring Hands is outlined and demonstrated in this episode.
June 4, 2018
All the single listeners (think Beyonce!) heads up.  Learn to use attachment science at work and delve more deeply into the avoidant end of the spectrum. Attachment science isn't just about relationships, it's decades of research on how we come to see ourselves and have unconscious expectations about the world. This conversation really highlights how to think about applying it in real life scenarios, sans therapy-speak.
June 4, 2018
All the single listeners (think Beyonce!) heads up.  Learn to use attachment science at work and delve more deeply into the avoidant end of the spectrum. Attachment science isn't just about relationships, it's decades of research on how we come to see ourselves and have unconscious expectations about the world. This conversation really highlights how to think about applying it in real life scenarios, sans therapy-speak.
May 25, 2018
Learn how tapping into the depth of wisdom your body holds can have a huge impact on your sense of self.   Body attunement + conscious reflection (left/right, top/bottom integration) are hallmark markers of secure functioning. Tap into your own body as a deep and abiding source of information and means of finding self-understanding and closer connection.
May 25, 2018
Learn how tapping into the depth of wisdom your body holds can have a huge impact on your sense of self.   Body attunement + conscious reflection (left/right, top/bottom integration) are hallmark markers of secure functioning. Tap into your own body as a deep and abiding source of information and means of finding self-understanding and closer connection.
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