Ross Patterson, Dan Hollaway, and Jessie Wiseman bring you the fake news of the week you deserve with Nicolas Cage reportedly trying to find the actual Holy Grail, a referendum to ass eating season by adding a "pre-season" to it, the White House drafting orders to tackle Silicon Valley's anti-conservative bias, the definition of "Wide-On", Princeton Review Board's Top 5 party colleges, and CNN's Jeff Yang presenting a dumb idea for gun control.