How can somebody talk about a future with you when they barely know who you are?
In this episode of You’re Probably Right, MCM explores one of the quieter problems in modern relationships: people planning futures with people they have not truly become curious about yet.
They can talk about the trip.
The house.
The wedding.
The children.
The holidays.
The life you might build together.
But somehow they have never asked what made you laugh when you were eight, what your neighbourhood felt like, what ordinary memory still matters to you, or who you were before life became so serious.
This episode asks a hard question:
Do they want you?
Or do they want the experience you provide?
MCM breaks down the difference between personal information and personal knowledge. Two people can share wounds, trauma, ex stories, family pain, trust issues, and fears, and still know very little about what makes each other happy.
You can know what hurt somebody without really knowing the person.
And sometimes dating becomes less about curiosity and more about qualification.
What do you do for work?
Do you want children?
Have you been married?
Do you believe in God?
Where do you want to live?
Those questions matter, but they often have a job. They help someone decide whether you fit the role they already imagined.
Curiosity does something different.
Curiosity wants to know the person, not just whether the person qualifies.
This episode also looks at deprivation, affection, sex, admiration, loneliness, useful people, future talk, old relationships, emotional auditioning, and the danger of editing yourself into a version you think is less likely to be rejected.
Sometimes somebody is not in love with you.
They are in love with what happens to them when you are around.
And sometimes you are doing the same thing.
MCM asks whether we are choosing people, or choosing relief from loneliness, rejection, thirst, uncertainty, and the empty space beside us.
This is a conversation about slowing down, asking better questions, noticing the quality of someone’s curiosity, and refusing to let future language overrule present information.
Because somebody may sincerely want a future.
They may mean every word.
But if they barely know you, and you barely know them, maybe what both of you are in love with is not a future together.
Maybe it is a future you have each imagined with somebody standing in the empty space beside you.
Episode 380
You’re Probably Right with MCM
Entertainment first. Everything else is just bonus opinions.
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Listen on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/youre-probably-right/id1551574121
Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/1L65QCDAGp1h5Vca5zwE7X