Christmas Card 2013

Treat each kid uniquely

• Lunches. Darren made everyone the same thing. Paige asked the kids what they liked.
• You need to find out what they like and don't like.
• Sometimes a mall food court is the best option to take the family out.
• Give kids the opportunity to choose dinner.
• Discipline is different for each kid. 
  • The rules are the same but our reaction and discipline are different for each kid.
  • The goal is to help the individual kid and keep some peace and tranquility in the house.

Go One-on-One

• Sam gets a lot of one on one time.
• The other kids not as much. We want all of the kids together.
  • We have had opportunities to be one one one. (Field Trips, trip to the grocery store, etc..)
  • Date night with their kids
  • Individual spontaneous time is just as good as a fully planned out activity.
• 12-year-old trip with Dad.
• Individual trip when kids are adults - We try and make the opportunity when we can.
• Cook dinner with one of the kids on Thursday nights.
• Watch a show together.
• How do you teach to share when you want your kids to be individuals in a blended family.

Be a Team

• Make sure that each member knows that they are part of a team.
  • Individualism is important but not at the cost of the family.
  • Kids can be so unique or individualized that they do not see themselves as part of the family.
• Examples on being a team
  • Cleaning the kitchen, the back yard, clean out the car.
• Everyone has a unique role that they play. Make sure they feel like they are part of a team and not just an individual.
• Sometimes it is too bad that the kids don't like doing something. They are part of the family.
  • The kids might be resentful at first but in the end, they are grateful.

Don't Play Favorites

• We joke about this a lot.
  • Every day, our favorite changes depending on what they are bringing to the family.
• Family gifts or souvenirs from travels. The kids notice who is getting what.
  • Equity and uniqueness are key.
  • Make sure you don't just peanut butter everyone with the same thing.
  • Most meaningful is individualized. 
  • Christmas ornaments. (Grandma's give the same, parents try to be unique)
• Funny moment of the Week

Madeline trying to mimic one of the acts on America's got Talent (Courtney Hadwin). Nothing like your 14-year-old daughter trying to sing a classic rock song she has never heard.

Links

• http://refreshedmag.com/4-ways-to-make-every-kid-in-a-large-family-feel-special/
• https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/6-small-ways-to-make-each-of-your-kids-feel-special/