I’ve been noticing how much I try to avoid relying on anyone or anything and how by subconsciously keeping money tight I both reinforce and undermine that avoidance. I desperately want to break these habits, and I think interdependence with others is the path through the independence-dependence tension that tends to trip me up.  

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Music by Sleeping At Last  
Everything else by me, Monica Bahan  
Email: unfiving@gmail.com  
Instagram: @un.fiving

16. Rest week

My name is Monica, and in the enneagram of personality I’m a self-preservation 5w4. Long story short: I tend to self-sabotage by avoiding vulnerability, observing rather than participating, doubting my knowledge, overanalyzing, minimizing my needs, over-focusing on details, and being stubbornly independent. But I'm tired of getting in my own way. So here I am, opening myself up, taking risks, and sharing reflections and wisdom along the way. With plenty of mixed metaphors and minimal editing—by design and out of necessity.