Growing up in a family that prized achievement over vulnerability, a man’s troubled relationship with his older brother ends in devastating loss, sending him on a decades-long search to understand the guilt and shame he left behind.Today’s episode featured Chad Herst. If you’d like to reach out to Chad, you can email him at [email protected]. Chad is on LinkedIn @ linkedin.com/in/chad-herst-6040629Chad Herst is an executive coach and acupuncturist in Sebastopol, California, and the author of The Performance Trap: The Ache No Success Will Ever Fix, out October 1, 2026. The book grew out of the story told in this episode. Website: herstwellness.com, where the opening chapter is available free.ProducersWhit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva LipkowitzContent/Trigger WarningsSuicide, suicidal ideation, mental illness, substance abuse, bullying and hazing, physical abuse, family dysfunction, psychiatric hospitalization, grief and traumatic loss, explicit language.Social MediaInstagram: @actuallyhappeningFacebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion GroupWebsite: thisisactuallyhappening.com Substack - Beyond the Storywhitmissildine.substack.comIf you’d like to share an UNSAID short story from your life, you can find it on our website: thisisactuallyhappening.com/submittheendoftheknown or on the Substack at whitmissildine.substack.com. Support the Show on Substack by becoming a Paid SubscriberFree subscribers get access to Whit’s weekly episode reflections and some show updates.Paid subscribers get access to AMAs with the team, follow up interviews with past guests, frequently asked questions, deeper insights into the creative process of the show and live events. A paid Substack subscription is also the best way to support the show. You can also support on Patreon patreon.com/happeningWebsite for Whit Missildinewhitmissildine.comWebsite for Andrew Waitsandrdewwaits.comWebsite for Aviva Lipkowitzavivalipkowitz.comSubscribe on Audible to Listen Ad-FreeAudible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com.Shop at the StoreFind This Is Actually Happening branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop:thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop TranscriptsFull transcripts of each episode are now available on the website:thisisactuallyhappening.com MusicIntro Music:"Sleep Paralysis" – Scott VelasquezMusic Bed:Salib (SAL) - Tension Underscore 33A ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.