<p>We&apos;re very happy to have Slgghvn here today. A tentacle owning, toenail loving, being of brilliance. Plus, butts, democracy, the blame game, coconuts, cleanses and way way more. </p>

We've searched the universe to find the best stories, from all of the most interesting aliens in the whole universe, and we now bring their stories here for your pleasure, even though you are mere humans. And that's like super, dooper nice of us. Yay.