Show notes
Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace.Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity.00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-LoveTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ