Sometimes guests approach me for the podcast, and sometimes I reach out. I’ve had excellent luck with reaching out to guests – they are almost always cordial, timely and respectful. I ask for less than an hour, allow them to talk about (for the most part) what they are interested in, it’s only audio, and it is done from the convenience of their office/laptop/mac Recently I reached out to someone who I thought would make for an interesting guest. In this case I ran into what I call a status conversation. It almost never happens, and is painfully obvious what is going on when it does. Perhaps something like this has happened to you as well? The names have been changed. Let’s call her Francine. I originally reached out on October 28th of 2018… MB Hi Francine – would be fun to connect and have you on the Alchemy For Life podcast when convenient. I interview really interesting people about time, energy and resources and life in general. Have a lovely friday and weekend! – Mark October 28th Francine is now a connection. I waited two days, though she connected, she didn’t respond to my request (I like to make my intention clear if the connection is for anything other than a simple connection). I really don’t like when people connect and then immediately bombard you with something to purchase. Keep in mind I am not selling anything to those I ask to be on the show – on the contrary I am becoming their cheerleader and allowing them to sell something… MB OCT 30   A month and a half later I followed up…  Yes, I waited that long because there was nothing particularly “timely” about what we were going to discuss…  I thought a short, funny, “Hello” was best. MB DEC 13  This generated an immediate response. MB January 2nd was after the first of the year, and presumably time to easily get a response... MB JAN 2nd 2019 No response. So I waited another month. I had been arranging a few podcasts to accommodate this particular broadcast, but could not longer do it as it wasn’t fair to my current list of great guests… MB February 11th Hi.  Was holding open some time(s) for you to get you on the show earlier than later.  Can’t do that any longer and am filling spots up.  If you still want to be on some time, that’s great, just let me know. Otherwise, we’ll always have Paris. Just kidding, take care! Translation. OK, your status has dipped below where it becomes important on the gage. So, I’m saying thank you, because my time is more valuable than that. If you want to demonstrate that you respect my time then I need a solid answer, otherwise take care. Because I changed the Status Quo, literally, something different happened.  An almost immediate response: Francine   Translation. Allow me to raise my status manually, by telling you how other people value my time and status. Please don’t change the status in your perception, I’m still highly rated so just keep walking on that conveyer belt towards this carrot. MB Translation – I cannot commit to a time, today, tomorrow, next week, or next month, because if I do and something else comes along that I consider to have a higher status I want to do that instead.  And I can’t even be bothered to cancel. Am I going to reply? No. Because I’d prefer not to live in GroundHog Day and have someone play status games with me. I valued her time, but I also value my time, and I prefer to spend it with people (and guests) that also value my time as well. I have ample podcasts and articles (as well as an entire book ) about status, quality time and so forth. So, this made for a great, real-life demonstration of status and how it works. What did we learn today? Everyone finds the time to do what they want People will do what they can to maintain and even raise their status You can lower someone else’s status, or at least clarify what their status is with you A person can lose status by doing things like delaying, and generally not being particularly respectful to someone’s time If you lower someone’s status they will immediately try to raise it – by anecdote, story or demonstration. I only have so much patience The post Status conversations first appeared on The Status Game.