This week Kevin and Niseema continue thier conversation about Attachment Theory with Bethany Saltman mother and author of Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey Through the Science of Attachment.
We continue talking about the Strange Situation Procedure developed by Mary Ainsworth, in the 1970s as a way to observe the attachment styles of children between the ages of 9-18 months. In one stage of the procedure, the mother/ primary caregiver and a stranger sit in a room with the child, and then the mother leaves the room. The way the child reacts to the mother's leaving and her return is carefully observed and information about the attachment bond is categorized into an attachment style. After documenting tens of thousands of separations and reunions three distinct patterns emerged: securely attached, insecure anxious, and insecure-avoidant, with 65% being securely attached.
As Bethany elaborates: "You don't have to be anything special to be securely attached or to raise a securely attached child. All you have to do is to have some experience and some comfort with your own emotions, your own difficult feelings."
In our adult life, these attachment patterns can become more apparent when our relationships are under stress like economic strife, pandemic quarantine, illness, or conflict. If your attachment pattern is insecure when stress arises you can feel like a loss is imminent, and a return to connection is impossible. If you both have a basis of secure attachment you can probably weather any of these storms. Knowing your attachment style can help you understand how you are in relationships.
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For more information and to contact Bethany Saltman go to:
www.bethanysaltman.com
For more information or support contact Kevin or Niseema at [email protected], or call 212-757-4488.
These are challenging times and we hope this episode served to validate and ease your anxiety about what you may be experiencing.
Please feel free to also suggest show ideas to the above email.
Thank you for listening,
Kevin and Niseema
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www.kevinlmhc.com
www.niseema.com
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