Show notes
“The more aware you are, the more you’re able to do something about it.”In this episode, Nick explores how to embrace change and overcome the fear of the unknown through self-awareness, mindset shifts, and incremental actions. He dives into practical insights on navigating life’s inevitable changes with curiosity and resilience.What to listen for:The importance of self-awareness in managing changeUnderstanding and accepting the inevitability of changeTechniques to identify and address the root of fearThe role of curiosity and mindset in adaptationIncremental actions to navigate life’s disruptions“We don’t know where we’re going to go. We don’t know what’s going to happen. But we do know that we’ve done this work to be able to say, well, this is the thing that feels off for me.”Certainty isn’t required for progress; self-awareness is enough to moveNaming what feels off is more useful than predicting outcomesInner work builds a stable foundation amid external uncertaintyClarity about your feelings matters more than control over eventsThe unknown feels safer once you know your own reactionsDoing the work now prepares you for whatever comes next“The change that you’re going through is inevitable. Change is just happening. And how you’re going through those changes really depends on what you do with it.”Change itself is neutral; your response shapes the outcomeResisting inevitable change often causes more pain than the changePersonal agency lies in reaction, not in preventing change itselfGrowth happens through intentional action, not passive endurance of changeHow you engage with change reveals your current mindset patternsAccepting change as constant frees energy for meaningful actionAbout Nick McGowanI’m Nick McGowan, an entrepreneur, podcaster, and mental health advocate, and I’ve been on a 20+ year journey of personal development, learning to master my mindset, emotions, and the art of living with purpose.As a Mindset and Self-Mastery Mentor, I work with ambitious men and women who want to live their most authentic and joyous lives by helping them master their mindset, emotional awareness, and authentic communication. My mission is to empower people to lead lives that feel aligned, grounded, and truly their own.Throughout my career, I’ve built teams, streamlined systems, and improved client experiences across SaaS, media, marketing, and personal development spaces. Whether I’m leading cross-functional projects, optimizing SEO, Podcasting, designing strategies, or guiding clients through transformation, I bring a hands-on, solution-focused approach to everything I do.I’m also the host of The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show, where my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, challenge us, and ultimately guide us back to who we are at our core. On this show, we uncover the secret gems others have discovered through trial and error and breakthroughs, so you can fast-track your growth and master your mindset in your pursuit of self-mastery. Check out the latest episode here.With years of podcasting and two decades of marketing experience, I’ve mastered the storytelling, interview flow, strategy, and technical production that elevate a podcast from “just content” to something truly impactful. Whether you’re a leader looking to amplify your message, a seasoned speaker and podcast host looking to sharpen your edge, or even a beginner who is wondering how to share their message, I mentor thought leaders through every step of having the conversation they’re here to have on this planet.So, what message are you here to share?!https://nickmcgowan.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/thenickmcgowan/Resources:Check out other episodes about change and transformation.Understanding Ourselves Better Over Forcing Change In Your Business with Ariffa BevinEmbracing The Enneagram And Surrendering To The Flow Of Life With Chad PrevostAre you looking for ways to better manage your daily mindset, live a happier, more fulfilled life, and pursue the depths of your soul on your path to self-mastery?Schedule a free clarity session with Nick to see if mentoring is a good fit for you. https://tidycal.com/nickmcgowan/mindset-and-self-mastery-clarity-sessionInterested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? Check out Nick’s website for more information: https://nickmcgowan.com/Thank you for listening!Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHAGuest Inquiries right here: [email protected]Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”Click Here To View The Episode TranscriptNIck McGowan (00:03.246)Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, I want to talk about how do we embrace challenges and change andNIck McGowan (00:19.854)You’ll do that again.NIck McGowan (00:27.309)Hmm.NIck McGowan (00:41.454)Three, two. Hello, and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, I want to talk about how to embrace change when we’re afraid of the unknown. There’s a lot of unknown, a lot of things that happen just throughout life that if you knew that they were going to happen, you would probably, potentially at least, change what you would have done. Let’s be real with each other. There are certain things in life that you’re like,Man, if I knew I was gonna get to that point, if I knew this is gonna happen, I either would have done that thing sooner or I wouldn’t have done that thing at all. And I get that, but we also can’t do anything about that. And I don’t want to hear the comments or messages about, but science is saying otherwise because there is science that says that we may actually be able to change what happens in our future or even present based on how we handled things in the past and can go back to that.That’s a whole different level of things. If we look at where we’re at now and what we can do with just our mind and our overall mindset, we want to be able to figure out what is actually happening within the change that is a disruption to us. Because if I were to come to you and say, I’m going to change how much money you make every single month, and you’re going to make 40 times that amount that you’re making, you would probably have questions, but most likely you would go, Great, I’m in.I can accept that change totally fine. I’ll figure out what to do with the money. Like makes sense. We all would. But if I were to come to you and say this massive change is going to happen and I need you to make all these other little changes, you’re probably going to fight me on it. I know I would. Hell, I do it to myself at times. I’m pointing out that if we know that these things are going to happen and we know what the outcome is going to be, then we could potentially do something different.But since we don’t know what exactly is going to happen, and we have no idea how the outcome is really going to turn out, life is just going to life how it life. Then what we can do is at least be okay within ourselves to be able to be in a better spot to be able to move forward with the change. I’m going to say something that is probably irritating. We’ve all heard the dumb saying of change is inevitable. The only thing you can expect is change and all that stuff. So let’s get that out of the way.NIck McGowan (03:07.138)There’s change. You probably changed some way today. You probably did something, or somebody else did something that changed how somebody looked at something. It’s just how life works. But those small changes, or like the big change where I’m saying I’m gonna give you loads of money, that change comes along with some sort of constraints and feelings to it, or just what you would put into it energy-wise.Again, if I gave you a ton of money, you’d be like, don’t worry about me. I’m gonna figure out how to spend all this or to save it or do whatever I want with it. But there’s no real major hesitation to not go toward that.There are typically hesitations to go toward how do I make this change in my business or in my relationships or in my life? Or I don’t even know what change to make. I just don’t like how things are right now. So I want to talk from that angle. Even if you know what that change is, or what has to happen, what has to change, or what has to be different in the future, let’s get back to the basics of this of any sort of change that’s happening.To be able to understand where you’re at, where what’s going on. So there’s always the fear of the unknown because we don’t know what’s going to happen. And we can get lost in those things. There’s always the hope of what could happen. And some people can also get lost in those. It’s a balance, truly finding the balance between these, to go, I don’t really care what happens in the future. Don’t really care what happened in the past. I can only deal with what I have in front of me right now.And making sure that we never bypass anything that we’re feeling or anything that’s coming up for us, but to be aware of it. So just like every other episode for the most part, it comes back to awareness. It’s self-awareness. If we can be aware of what’s going on and as close to what’s actually going on as possible, we can start to actually move from there.NIck McGowan (05:11.532)So let’s look at some moment that happened years ago that is affecting you right now. For me to ask you to pull out some random memory is not going to get us a good result. But any sort of feeling that just popped up as I pulled that up, as I said that to you, even if you don’t remember what it was, there’s still some feeling attached to it. Like, your body is feeling. I don’t want to recall this memory. There’s still some work to be done with that.That little bit that you just had, that little hint, that little glimmer of that feeling, that’s self awareness.Even the dumb moment you just had of, okay, duh, okay, cool. Or all right, Nick, I got it. You’re aware of you understand it. So, not to get at a dumb macro level, but I want you to really hone in on the more aware you are of the things, and you are often aware, and you are able to do something with that. By saying, even we’re often aware, a lot of us are, and most people, I would like to think, are really aware.Because we can be focused in that moment, but then we’re just off to the next and we move on to the next thing and we forget about that thing. There’s a balance to that as well, where we’re not getting lost in the past or the future or just that one thing we moved on and that’s it. But it’s being able to actually use that skill in the moment. So here we are afraid, just fearful of the change that’s happening and really the unknown, whether that’s a small or a big change, for the most part.This has more of a condiment a feeling of the negative change. Again, back to the money. If I were to give you a bunch of money, that’s not a negative thing. If you have some money internal problems, or there are things that come up with that, then those would be something you’d be self-aware of to do something with. So you got it. We’re all on the same page. Self-awareness is super important. And I talk about it a lot, a whole lot. SoNIck McGowan (07:17.026)With that self-awareness, being able to understand what the change is, we want to actually be able to call it out and say, this is the change. Not just saying, I just don’t feel right at work. Or I don’t know, it just feels weird in the office. Or I don’t know what’s going on with our relationship, but yeah, I don’t know. It’ll, it’s, it’s what it is. That’s awareness. There you’re aware that there’s something that’s happening there, but we need to actually get closer to it. Like, what is it?I’ll give you a real simple example that you probably experienced before. I’ve recently been having a hard time sleeping. some of it’s the AC in in my house is a little wonky at times and just needs to be fixed and whatever. But then there are also just some times where things have just kind of kept me awake or I’ve just popped awake, and then I realized some of it was caffeine and some of it was just there’s stuff that’s going on. But all of that that has to relate to the sleep.Actually relates to the rest of my day. So if I feel off or groggy or irritated or something like that, yes, I can certainly chalk it up to just not getting as much sleep as I want or need and leaving it there. Or I can understand what’s actually happening underneath and why that’s happening, then to just do something about it. Make a change to it. Again, that level of self-awareness to go, yeah, I could stop at this point. I could also go a little further and go, well.Do I do? Okay. Maybe I don’t drink coffee at three o’clock in the afternoon. Maybe I make sure I’m not reading on my phone or whatever at one o’clock in the morning. Different things that we can all do. I’ll spare you the details of what I’m going through with my sort of stuff, but those little bits and pieces of making sure that we’re hitting these marks for ourselves, we first need to be aware of those. So whatever changes that’s happening, understand and ask yourself.What part of that is the thing that is actually scary?NIck McGowan (09:20.556)I was hoping that something would come up right then. I’m also hoping that originally we’re talking about the unknown. And yeah, there’s the unknown. But even when he when we ask ourselves a question of, well, what could it be? Or if I had to take a guess at what it would be, there’s an answer that comes up. The the whole goal here is to be able to get closer to what is it? What is the thing? What’s the root of it? Because if there’s a big change that’s happening at work in your office.And let’s say you’re in leadership, maybe there’s a change that you’re thinking, I just don’t know how this is going to directly affect my team. But in reality, it might be that you don’t know if you’re gonna lose your job because you don’t know if you want to deal with this. You don’t want to be there for that change. You don’t want to deal with the bullshit with the team. But you could just as easily stop with, I don’t know if there’s gonna be a detriment to my team. I’m gonna have to deal with that sort of stuff.If there’s something much deeper than that and the change that’s happening, that change of I fear I’m going to lose my job or that I don’t want to be here anymore is so much deeper and actually has nothing to do with how your team handles stuff. It’s what happens with you and how you handle those things. Therefore, how you handle the team and how you respond to all that, et cetera. But if we can get deeper to that to understand that it’s actually some other fear, that it’s not actually an unknown.Then we can get close to that. Now, even if you were to say to me, Look, Nick, I I thought of all that stuff. I sat in the dark, felt through all of it, and here’s what I got to. And it’s still a bit of an unknown. Yeah, life is an unknown. So we can get to the fact that it’s just gonna be an unknown right now, because I don’t know what the hell’s gonna happen when I stop recording. I don’t know what’s gonna happen in next five seconds.Wouldn’t that been crazy if like something fell through the floor? You know, like what timing? I waited for it, but no. So we have no idea what’s going to happen. We just don’t. So let’s not worry about that. We can be mindful of that, but we don’t want to worry about it. So if we’re aware of there’s this change that’s happening, again, to use the idea of this change that’s happening in your office or at work, and you’re unsure of what how it’s going to affect you or other people or what have you, great. Whatever that thing is, hold that. Even write it down.NIck McGowan (11:45.475)And then say, what else is behind you? What else is there? Or what are the parts to this? Because even in that scenario I rolled out with that team, yeah, it has to do with the team, but it really has to do with that leader who’s wondering about the team, who’s really concerned about the leader. And makes sense not to call that leader selfish, but we all think of these things and about ourselves, and it stems from stuff and situations that have happened in the past.So if we can take that and say, look, I actually know that some of this is unknown, even if not everything is known, but I at least know what it is that I’m feeling off with or not feeling right about or what have you, then that actually starts to collapse the fear of the unknown in the sense. So the change that you’re going through is inevitable. Change is just happening. And how you’re going through those changes really depends on what you do with it. It could be really black and white ofYou can just do better with it, but that’s not how we roll on the show. You know that. It’s a matter of being able to do better and doing better consistently because you’re doing more of what’s aligned with you. So again, that scenario, that team leader, it sounds like they may not want to be there. Or they’re really afraid of how it’s going to work because maybe there’s something like imposter syndrome or something that’s telling them maybe you don’t need to be in this spot. You don’t deserve to be in leadership or whatever it is.Those are the things that actually need to be looked at. Those are the things that you need to be self-aware of. So that change that you’re going through, or the change that you will go through, because even if you’re listening to this and like, cool, Nick, appreciate this, but everything’s cool in life. Wonderful. I hope it stays that way. It’s not. There’s always going to be something that happens. Change is inevitable. anything could happen. And I’m not trying to, you know, throwFear and doom and gloom, but just anything could happen. So there’s some sort of change that’s going to happen. And small changes will happen. In those small changes, we can use this. So I challenge all of us. As those small changes or things that come up that feel a little off, like, there’s a change with this, get to the bottom of it. Or as close to the bottom as you can, to say, all right, well, this is the change, and I see this and I feel this. Great. Now let me go a bit deeper.NIck McGowan (14:10.882)What actually is there? What what am I feeling off about? So the self-awareness of it is crucial because you’ll be able to actually see. And then from there you can do something with it.NIck McGowan (14:31.138)All right. So now that you’re self aware of it, you know there’s this change. I feel this, and I’m getting closer to what it is that I I can feel is off or doesn’t feel as right or the way that I want it to feel. And then at that point we can take inventory. We can actually start to see, well, what feels good? All right. And this change, this feels all right, or like this doesn’t feel anything at all. But these are the things that feel off for me. So that’ll help you actually go deeper with it. Like, well, I’m not sure of how the team’s gonna handle it or.How I’m going to handle the team, really how I’m going to handle being here tomorrow, or whatever those things are, again, in that scenario, to be able to actually understand like these are what those look like. And you might find that there might be a lot more pros, but you’re just un unsure and not feeling great about the change because there might be something outside of that. So even if you’re looking at something, this is what’s going on at the office or what have you.might be something going on at home. And doing this little bit of an activity will help us then go, okay, well, it’s not within this. Okay, cool. So what else is it? Is it home? Is it somewhere else? Is it a hobby? Is it something different? We want to get as close as we can so we can be aware of it to do something from there. So taking that inventory of what feels right, what feels off, what doesn’t, like anything and everything that comes up andfeel something toward it or you’re thinking some sort of powerful feeling or powerful thought toward it, like I really want to do this or I don’t want to do this or what have you, lean into those and write those down. And then from that point, being able to actually have that to know if I need to look somewhere else, it’s home or somewhere different than that, then you can start to move to that and do kind of that same activity and figure out where it is. We’re basically trying to find where the little problem area is.For those of you who are who listen who are into audio editing, be it musical production or podcasting or whatever it is, basically what I look at with this is like grabbing an EQ and spiking it all the way to the top and all the way to the bottom and trying to find that bad area that you want to pull out or the area you want to lift up and being able to actually find it. We’ve got to move around and find it within the EQ. So same deal with this.NIck McGowan (16:52.714)Once we’re able to move from those pieces and go, it’s not the office. it’s it’s at home. I’m feeling that, but I’m feeling it through the office because it’s some sort of situation.NIck McGowan (17:11.148)Then real simply, I think the next two big steps here are really making sure that you change your mindset and then figuring out what your actions are. There’s a lot of nuance to all of these things. I focused a lot of time in the beginning of this with the self-awareness because if you are not aware of this, you can’t do anything with this. So once you’re self-aware of it, you’re then able to actually, again, take inventory and figure out where the thing is. And at that point, we can do something with it.Now, changing our mindset from there, we understand, I feel this way about this thing because this ties back to some situation that happened before. Is that situation the exact same? Is it the same person? Like trying to take the inventory again of is this a one to one scenario? Or are we literally comparing apples and car tires? Like, are they completely different? Because then at that point, if it is, logically, we can just remove the one and say, well, that.We can’t relate that to this. And being able to change change our mindset from that, to really be curious what’s going on here. How do I want to do this? How do I want to feel with this? Or what do I see that’s happening? Or what have you? So we want to be self-aware and take the inventory to be able to understand what we’re getting to and what’s actually underneath everything. And curiosity is really covering all of that, but being able to change our mindset to understand.This doesn’t relate to a thing that’s happened before, but I’m feeling this. I am in control of my mind and I can say we’re going to go in this direction. Gives us a sense of power to be able to take that, even if we’re going into the unknown, because we don’t know where we’re going to go. We don’t know what’s going to happen. But we do know that we’ve done this work to be able to say, well, this is the thing that feels off for me. Cool. I see it. I feel it. I can hold it in my hands. So I’m going to take it and we’re going to march along from there.And you’re gonna have different mindset at that point because you’re going into it with curiosity. That’s the hope here. From there, being able to understand how you actually relate to all of these situations based on maybe this is really, really simple, but the way I look at it, are you a thinker or are you a feeler? If you’re somebody who has to think about all these situations and think about everything you do and you think about it all, then think about these things as.NIck McGowan (19:35.415)You work through it, continue to think about it, and then slide into some sort of small action as you think about it. If you’re a feeler and somebody who has to feel all of these things, that’s how I am. I have to feel these things. I have to feel through to understand what’s actually feeling off for me or what feels misaligned or what have you, to then be able to understand that feels whichever way it does, and I’m going to take some sort of action.So that’s ultimately the next step is taking some sort of action to it. It’s not like you have to change drastically or take this giant leap. It’s some sort of small action. And that might be scheduling a little bit of time to talk with your partner or to talk to yourself, even. I’m going to do this at that time. And then holding yourself accountable to do it. Or spend a little bit of time right then in that moment to be able to work through it. Some sort of small action that’s going to lead to another action.And I guess in a really easy and blunt way to put this, you have to fuck around, fuck around and find out. Like it’s that easy. There’s the little actions within that. Now, again, understand about yourself. I know that I have to fuck around and find out, but I also know that other people have to think through things and take these little slight pivots and changes. Either way, it’s incremental. That’s what we’re looking at. The more that we can do that and we can make these tiny little changes, these little steps.That that literally helps us in all situations. But with this specifically, being afraid of the unknown because of the changes that are happening right now, we’re able to look at these things and separate the emotions, also look at the reality of what’s happening and stay in the present without getting ourselves caught up in all of it. Now, this might be one of those episodes you need to go back or make sure you get to the website and look at the transcript.But break this stuff down. I’m not trying to just spit out frameworks because I think everybody needs a framework. These are the things that I do and that work for me. And I break them down to be able to help you use practical pieces that have helped me. And I’d love to hear from you of how it helps, if it doesn’t help, or how it works for you, or what’s worked differently, or what have you. As you can tell, the biggest thing here is just self-awareness. The more self-aware we are, and the more aware we are of just most things.NIck McGowan (21:59.897)We can do something with them. Taking inventory of what we’re thinking and feeling and all the pieces and components that have to go along with that change and the feelings, or the fear rather, will allow us to actually get closer and closer to what the root is, to actually do something with that. And then it’s taking some sort of calculated action. And that has doesn’t have to be a big calculation. It can be like, great, I think the next step is this thing.Then wonderful, do that because that energy is gonna tie back into it. You’re doing something with it and just gonna be potentially just keep snowballing for you in a positive way. Even if it’s the way of, this really doesn’t feel right. And I don’t wanna be here, I don’t wanna be in this, or this feels really off because of this thing that feels really right, or whatever. So I’d love to hear how this is working out for you. I’d love to hear what you do in these situations. And I’d love to hear if there are ways that you’d love to meet.Like for me to expand on this stuff. So thank you so much for listening today. Please follow us wherever you listen to podcasts and stick around for the next episodes that are coming out. There’s a lot more I’m going to get into that’s specifically tied to self-awareness. And again, I really appreciate you being with us today.https://youtu.be/uoueo0p9EIo
