Curiosity As A Tool For Better Relationships With Patrick Boylan from The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show

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Curiosity As A Tool For Better Relationships With Patrick Boylan

25 minutes Posted Feb 12, 2026 at 5:30 am.

The one thing in my opinion that would turn the tides of humanity and make people more empathetic and connected to every person on this earth, that we need to come together as a species and tackle our world's issues together.

Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self-Mastery Show. I'm your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Patrick Boylan. Patrick, how you doing, man? Doing great. How you doing, man? I'm good. I'm excited you're here. I think I say that a lot in the intros of shows because I'm having conversation with somebody and there are certain times where like lead time to get onto the show can be maybe a month, maybe two months. Then there are people like you, my friend, who…

I joked earlier and was like, well, when you first sent your stuff in in 2009. Yeah, but it's kind of what it felt like though, honestly. But some of those are the best. And truthfully, I've had two of you this week. I had one guy a couple of days ago who does drum circles and so much music. And he just disappeared at one point like two years ago and then came back. And I was like, yes, I was hoping you'd come back. So I'm glad that you're here too. I want us to be able to touch on music, obviously, because of the business that you have and the thing that you're doing.

but I want us to be able to get into really how all of it has worked for you over the course of life and how it's all shaped you to lead you to where you're at today. Before we get there though, why don't you get us started? Tell us what you do for a living and what's one thing most people don't know about you that's maybe a little odd or bizarre? I'm the co-founder of a music education app called Museflow. We teach piano in a very different way. We're expanding to all common instruments in the next couple of years. So it's growing, people are loving it.

and I'm super stoked about it. Something that's weird or that most people don't know about me, I have two tattoos. I've got one on my butt, on my left butt cheek, it's called, it's just a family emblem that my dad drew on all of our napkins for lunches and uh Christmas cards and stuff like that. It's four bunnies on two hills overlooking a sunset, and it's our family. It's me and my dad and my mom and my sister.

and our cats and our dogs and all that stuff. It's a really cute little tableau thing, right? The other one is on my upper hip and I got it in college. I got it when I just decided that truth and honesty are going to be the most important things in my life, okay? And so I got a whistleblower. I got a guy blowing a whistle. Didn't realize how phallic that was when I got it on my upper thigh, you know?

So it's a little weird, but like I didn't recognize that at the moment. What I was going for was like truth and honesty, right? And then I just, got it. And then I started doing, just being blunt, being like kind of mean about it. And like, wasn't thinking about tact and I wasn't thinking about like what my friends would be hurt by or if they, I didn't care. I was just like, truth and honesty. This is just so important to my life. And like, I was being brutal about it.

And so one of my friends pulls me aside one day and he says, Pat, you got to stop this. You're just being a jerk. You're being an asshole about this. Like, yes, truth and honesty is important. Okay. But you got to blend it with everything else. All right. Sometimes tact and holding your tongue is the right call. Cause I got to tell you, you're ruining friendships right now. I know a couple of people that have talked about this already and they're saying you're just being an asshole and they don't want to be friends with you anymore. So you got to fix yourself or

you're going to start losing friends. And I really trusted his opinion. He was one of my best friends. And so I listened to him and I pulled it back a bit. I pulled it back. I find it really interesting how your friend will lovingly say a thing to you, but also that you trust your friend. You know, like they're the people that, um, they feel like they trust somebody out of, uh, I guess, systemic approach. Well, my family system tells me I should trust my parents.

or I should trust my brother and sister, or I should take whatever they say, kind of as gospel in a sense. People obviously like shit upon people with their dreams or whatever else, but it's sometimes in those small things where it's like, that person is upset that you're being an asshole about a thing, but for you to be aware of you were being an asshole about it. Like if you didn't feel you were, you probably wouldn't have accepted it. You'd have been like, what do you mean? No, I'm just being a little bit of a boast or a little bit of this, but there was a hint of you back there was probably like,

The power feels good. You know, you're like, yes, this is wonderful. Two things there, right? Number one, this is a historical relationship. This guy has been one of my good friends for, you know, years. And I've been working with him in very close contact throughout many different creative projects. He was a, he's a director and I'm an actor. And so we worked on like seven or eight shows up until that point. And so I've worked with him.

deeply and very closely and I really appreciate his judgment and his kind of pulse on people. Yeah, you know and so both of those things like I trust the guy with my life and I'll I'll I'll do whatever he wants when it comes to a show I know he has my best interest at heart and and that's the biggest thing, you know number two I've always tried my best to take criticism with as much humility as possible and

regardless of if it's accurate or wrong or true to myself or untrue, it doesn't matter. That's still your opinion. And your opinion weighed against mine. It just depends on our relationship, but it also depends on how much I trust you and all of that stuff. But like, I will take any and all criticism and I will implement it or not implement it based on the weight that I give it. And if I believe, and I do weigh it against myself, but that being said, it's one of those things that I…

pride myself on. I pride myself on my ability to say, well, what do you think to everybody and anybody? And I don't, doesn't mean that I have to take it. That's critical though. You're two different entities, you know, and even within yourself to be able to say, well, I'm going to take that and you will accept that level of information because of the context. Like context is so important in everything. Everything....

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Show notes

“Be curious, not judgmental.”

In this episode, Nick speaks with Patrick Boylan about the importance of curiosity in understanding others and navigating judgment. They discuss how asking questions can lead to empathy and a broader perspective, allowing for a more nuanced view of people's beliefs and actions, all while highlighting the balance between judgment and understanding, advocating for a thoughtful approach to interpersonal relationships.

What to listen for:

Curiosity leads to empathy and understanding

How we learn and understand is different from each other

People’s beliefs aren’t inherently wrong; they’re different. Asking questions helps us bridge the gap between our understanding and their beliefs.

Life can be painful and confusing; let’s not add to the chaos

“At the end of the day, it's curiosity. Why do you think that? That's the biggest question that anybody can ask.”

Being open to external information only allows us to consider it

When we’re curious, we’re seeking to understand

Intention is a major part of curiosity to better understand others and our surroundings

“We need to come together as a species and tackle our world's issues together.”

We aren’t meant to do life alone. Community is a huge part of this journey we’re on

There’s hope in this that we, as a race, can come together for a common goal, our overall health and survival

Community is more important than we realize

About Patrick Boylan

Patrick Boylan is a skilled multi-instrumentalist and co-founder of MuseFlow, a groundbreaking music EdTech platform often called "The Duolingo of Music Education." Frustrated by the limitations of traditional music education, Patrick began exploring self-directed practice, which reignited his passion for music and led him to focus on sight reading as an engaging learning tool. MuseFlow teaches bite-sized skills through sight reading, allowing students to master new concepts efficiently and enjoyably by focusing on reading and playing music at first sight, then applying those skills to songs that get unlocked. Patrick loves to share his insights on learning and EdTech, inspiring parents, teachers, and self-learners to help students and themselves achieve flow state through MuseFlow’s unique approach.

https://museflow.ai - Use promo code **"MINDSET50"** to get 50% off any subscription you'd like, FOR LIFE!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-boylan-6b133248/

https://www.instagram.com/museflow.ai/

Resources:

Check out other episodes about curiosity

The Magical Journey of Discipline and Curiosity With Wayne Faulkner

Trauma, Curiosity, Core Beliefs And Conscious Recovery With TJ Woodward

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