Today’s Insufferable Turd of the Day crown goes to Houston attorney/comedian Elizabeth Booker Houston, who proudly bragged on a podcast that she deliberately overcharges white clients with “ridiculous rates” while doing free work for black clients and nonprofits, literally laughing that “a white person just cut me a check” so she can fund the causes she actually cares about. Clay points out the obvious: that’s textbook racial discrimination (and illegal billing practice), then delivers the knockout punch, this self-proclaimed reparations-by-invoice warrior is married to a white man and does cringey TikTok dances with him in their kitchen. Congratulations, Elizabeth: you’re not just openly racist, you’re the punchline you thought you were making. Turd trophy securely yours.