The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
Ashlynn Mitchell
Have you been through an affair, or struggle with healing a shattered or disconnected relationship? Each week we will share our 3 different perspectives on topics dealing with relationships, recovery, betrayal & addiction leaving you with HOPE for change no matter your circumstance.
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Seeking Hope
I highly recommend this podcast for anyone seeking hope and struggling with the pain of betrayal and the shame and sense of loss when facing addiction - and not only sexual addiction. Simply by showing up each week, C&A live by example the path to emerging from the desolate shame of broken relationship to the hope for something new and better. Their open and vulnerable conversations have not normalized betrayal and addiction for me, but rather have made it believable that there is a path back. They have provided tools, real and useful tools, to take care of my own stuff, “clean up my side of the street “ so to speak. They also have provided me a sense of not being alone. I am so grateful.
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Boundaries magnified!
I can’t thank you enough for your years of service to all of us in this journey of addiction and betrayal. I have learned so very much from you. The quote from Brannon “Healthy boundaries ruin bad relationships” was a mind blower for me today. I had to share it with the rest of my people. I share your podcast with as many people as I can. Thank you for inspiring me to receive specialized therapy and introducing me to EMDR. It is changing my life as a once betrayed woman. I am currently seeing one of Brannon’s co-workers, Taylor, for therapy and the combination of therapy, mindfulness, meditation, your podcast, etc is changing my life for the better. Thank you for helping me see past my husband’s recovery and focus on my own. Thank you for helping me see that this is a lifelong journey to better myself vs a “fix” and move on. I have learned how to be compassionate towards’ my addicted spouse AND with myself as we navigate this at times rocky road. I have hope and am seeing major changes in my life as a direct result of your wisdom and experience. THANK YOU! ♥️
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Extremely insightful
Every time I press play and hear the intro music I feel relaxed and ready to listen. Even when I don’t feel particularly like growing and stretching myself I never regret clicking that play button. Thank you all so much for your insight, not only for my journey as the one in recovery, but also the perspective it has helped me take on the betrayed’s journey as well.
The first thing that helped
Since finding out abt numerous affairs and porn addiction over the 20 years of our marriage 6 weeks ago, a friend sent me this link. Between meeting w a therapist not ready to handle this and advise from friends, this podcast was the first actual helpful info I received. It allowed me to slow down, learn and start to work proper steps. I know we have a long way to go, but w spouse also listening it has given us much to learn and discuss. Thank you for your honesty- which is helping us navigate a forward path to a healthier marriage.
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Hope giving!!
For the first time, I feel validated and hopeful. I thought I was crazy. I did not know why I was so angry or what to do to help our relationship. We are just beginning the journey to healing and recovery, and it looks overwhelming, but Coby and Ashlynn give me hope. I have binge listened to the podcast, crying my way through many of the episodes. So much great content. Keep up the good work!
A Lifeline for the Lonely
I have been listening for over a year now. Before coming across this trio, I felt so lost and alone. I bawled through the entire first episode- someone understood what I couldn’t put to words and I learned there’s an entire community out there to lean on. I particularly like the guest speakers as they have introduced me to new avenues for light. So many things shared on this podcast resonate in truth. I share episodes with people (many who are not facing addiction) every chance I get. I am finding my voice, and maybe for the first time as an adult, finding myself. Thank you for giving me hope that things will somehow be ok. I don’t know what will happen in my marriage, but I’m starting to remember that I am worthy of respect, care and love. I will thank you always for rekindling that in me.
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Ran out of name ideas
Really great info. A must to listen to
This podcast has been so amazing in my life. Sometimes therapy can be overwhelming and you can get lost in the emotion of betrayal trauma and recovery. These episodes have been a way for me to wrap my head around bigger issues by making them bite sized and easily understood. They actually give action steps and recommend tools that you can use to help yourself along. It really is a great show.
Dubble yoo
Hope in the struggle!
I am so thankful for this podcast I found this when I was searching for any resources after my husband absolutely violated my trust for the last time on July 1st this year. I will never forget it, but this time it wasn’t just porn but with someone very close to me. Insult to injury! I knew this was much more than I could understand.We have been married 10 years and we have been separated now three times because of pornography it has defined our marriage, tarnished relationships friendships and much more. I have searched for help many times with failure people just didn’t understand so whenever I heard your story I knew there was some hope for me at least thank you for sharing your story, I have always felt very alone until now. I Will continue to listen to your podcast as I navigate through these tough times thank you for all you do....... it truly is the only thing giving me hope. My son will walk up and say “ mommy put on your message on the speaker so you will feel better”. So know you are doing amazing work! God Bless
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Addicted to this podcast.
My husband and I have been listening to this every free second we get and soaking up everything. It’s helped us dig out hard feelings, find hope, and put us on the right path. We are finding so much hope and healing. We still have a long road ahead of us but I am so grateful for the insights and information these three have provided. Thank you Ashlynn, Coby, and Brannon for your time and knowledge and your love and hope that we can feel through these podcasts.
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a gender thought
i love this podcast-i’ve taken so much as a person who has been a betrayer and have seen people i’ve hurt in a completely different light and have been able to connect with them and begin healing together. a snag in my ability to fully feel the weight of this podcast is the extremely gendered narrative and aspect of the “betrayed woman/man betrayer” and i find it extremely binary and therefore limiting- being a person who is trans/non binary, i identify different characteristics of each gender, and i think in terms of experience women are not always the “betrayed” and men are also capable of being betrayed and “victims” of betrayal-not to mention non binary or trans people not having a place to feel mirrored back in their experience. i use the “take what you like and leave the rest” approach and will continue to listen and recommend, but feel hesitation recommending to queer or non-binary people in my community because of the limiting language of the gendered roles in this podcast.
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neither one nor the other
Good recovery tool!
I came upon this podcast fairly shortly after our last D-day. It gave me so much hope to hear the recovery of the hosts in the healthy perspectives of Brannon. It was really helpful because I had been listening to a podcast about betrayal trauma that was causing me a lot of fear and anxiety about the future of our relationship, and this podcast helped me move past that and see that we could have a healthy future together.I have listened to many of the episodes and find good healthy perspectives throughout, and I’m thankful that this content exists. The one episode I would not recommend listening to is the one about dating and pornography. It is mentioned several times not to judge a guy on what he does with a small percentage of his day, but this actually completely negates what we know about the preoccupation and personality changes that a man experiences when he is fixated on this type of activity. So while the actual time itself may not be all that significant, the effects are. I think it would be better to caution a woman to get as much info as she is able regarding his use/consumption/addiction and then relevant recovery/safety standards, before she risks her future to someone engaging in this type of behavior.
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Opened doors for tons of knowledge!
I discovered your podcast about 4 years ago. And was so excited and shared it with my spouse who suffered with sex addiction. He wasn’t ready at time to acknowledge, accept and learn. So that was it until 3 years later he on his own, reaching his lowest, came back to this podcast. So many doors for knowledge and healing from listening to you! So many tools, resources are provided through your podcast, recovery program and instagram! So grateful for you three! Thanks for all the wealth of knowledge you share
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Sound fix?
There is a lot of feed back in the recording. I really want to listen but can’t handle the loud buzzing sound. Can you edit it out? Are there other feeds that you are on?
Roadmap for the Hardest Time of my Life
I learned a month ago that my husband of eleven years has been dealing with an addiction for our entire marriage. I am devastated and in my grief I’ve been struggling to find a road map for how to put one foot in front of the other. This podcast and related website have been truly lifesaving. A much needed light in the darkness of this mess. I have felt like I’m drowning but this resource has helped me find some type of footing. I am so thankful for all of you. Thank you for your honesty, empathy and insight. I have no idea what the future holds for my marriage but I’m determined to learn from this heartbreak even if it’s for me.
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A lifeline!
I was at my lowest point with my addict husband when I went to my knees one day and asked God to help me find just one couple that had came out on the other side of this war. After wiping my tears I turned on YouTube and found your podcast. I watched episodes for 10 hours straight! I felt like I finally wasn’t crazy . 11 years of struggling in our marriage , years of counseling , this podcast finally helped validate both of us! Coby with his vulnerability in his struggle , Ashlynn and her honesty and Brannon with just the right guidance has given us the tools to move forward . I don’t know how our story will go from here , but for the first time I feel like we have the right tools to get through this . Eternally greatful! Thank you guys for living life in front of us ❤️
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Anjel F
Thank you isn’t sufficient!
When I found this podcast 3 years ago it changed my life. I learned so much through the podcast—including learning how to find additional help for myself. I love Ashlynn, Coby, & Brannon. I’ve learned from them, felt upset with them at times (sorry about that, guys) and cried with them or just by myself. This is the place that I learned that I’m not crazy (I’m talking about you, betrayal trauma), but also how to work through my crap so I don’t act crazy. Thank you for opening your hearts, minds, and experiences to the world to help all of us dealing with this sh*%! Love y’all!
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So helpful
I just listened to your podcast on self betrayal. Wow, did it speak to me! I discovered that I was betraying myself by not speaking up in my relationship and with my partner. As I’ve practiced speaking up in my relationship, I’ve found that my partner respects me more and hears me better. This will absolutely strengthen our relationship as we navigate through recovery after infidelity. Thank you for talking about the hard stuff!
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Helped so much!
My husband and I will sometimes listen together. We will pause and discuss how we are feeling or how it relates to us and then continue listening. Sometimes we listen separately and discuss the episode when we are together at night. I love it both ways for different reasons. One thing I know for sure is that we discovered this podcast at the perfect moment in our lives when we needed it the most. I’m not sure how our communication would be without learning all we have from you 3! Thank you so much for being brave and sharing such personal aspects of your lives.
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I just found this podcast and I’ve already listen to a couple, but the episode that won me over the most was the episode on boundaries vs ultimatums. Truly one of the best discussions I’ve ever heard around that topic! Highly recommend.
A “lifesaving” podcast
We are just weeks out from discovering my husbands addiction. Finding help during COVID has been so terrifying, isolating and I felt like I was drowning as the betrayed. I happened across this podcast and it has helped more than I can express with words or stars. I suddenly felt like I wasn’t alone, and if Coby & Ashlynne could weather the storm, so could we. Brennan’s calm insight is invaluable. Every episode I feel more understood and validated and it has helped me respond in a more understanding way to his addiction. We are starting therapy but I feel like I already have advanced insight thanks to binging this podcast in almost every spare moment. Thank you so much for putting this out there for the “rest of us”
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Avenue for change
This podcast, and each of the individuals who so courageously share their story and advice, has in and of itself been such a positive light in a very confusing time. Also, because of this podcast, I have been guided to many MANY other amazing helpful resources that this group offers, as well as those their interview offer. Good mine of knowledge and resources that I can already see is helping me in my healing. Thank you thank you for all you do and have done to help make a difference for everyone.
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Amazing podcast!
Love how the combined and collective expertise of the hosts truly provide well-rounded and powerful healing guidance. Awesome job guys, loving it!! 👏🏻👏🏻
A lighthouse in the storm
I have been listening to this podcast for almost two years and look forward to it everyweek, especially if it has been a hard week. I can't remember how I found this podcast but I am so glad I did, because they gave me light during a very dark period of my life. I did not know what betrayal trauma was or any of the other terms that come with it and I did not know how to articulate what I was feeling. These episodes have made me laugh, cry and even become upset because the conversations discuss feelings and responses I did not know I was holding in. Thank you for giving words to my feelings, struggles and truth that I could not express. I have shared many podcasts with my partner in hopes of starting a conversation I did not know how to start in the midst of trauma. I have enjoyed hearing from guest speakers, who give additional insight, yet the trio continue to be a voice of hope, empathy and understanding. I do not know what the future holds for my relationship but I know that I am able to find my truth and rediscover my center and work towards finding myself again due to the help of this podcast. Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others to work through thier own.
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I’d recommend listening to dr. Omar minwalla’s podcasts BEFORE listening to these to first understand why pornography use and infidelity is abusive in and of itself. Rarely is abuse mentioned in these podcasts. I wish you Utah therapists would get it through your heads that TRAUMA comes from ABUSE - not addiction. “Addict behaviors” ARE ABUSE. Calling them addict behaviors is so enabling to the abuser who just shrugs and says “well, I’m an addict....” Please let go completely of the codependency model (you say you have but not in practice) and accept that undisclosed pornography use and infidelity IS abuse. Please. Gaslighting IS abuse. I will have much more respect for this podcast when the title is changed.
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Bad audio
Sorry I’m sure this has some great content but I couldn’t get past the intro due to the bad audio. Each person speaking was at a widely different level of volume and when talking it sounds like they’re reading and that makes it a hard listen for me.
Lizzy A Lindsey
So grateful
I stumbled upon this podcast searching for someone to validate what my marriage was going through. I learned what betrayal trauma was and now we are finally on the right path to healing. Thank you for being so vulnerable and real - knowing we are not alone has been lifesaving!
I wanted to express how grateful i am for you three and this podcast... I was introduced to this podcast one of the first times I attended a 12 step group. I was deep in shame and fear of my wife leaving me. I listened to you all nonstop for the first few months after leaking out my disclosure, and i have to say you all have set me on a course of true recovery. I absolutely love the truths you all share here. Brannon, i think of you as “The man who knew everything ive ever done”... You called me out when i needed it the most. Coby & Ashlynn, thank you so much for your insights, vulnerability, and honesty. Call me addicted, but I am on my 3rd listen through all of the episodes 😊. I am blown away by the insights and reflection i am able to have every time. Once again i cannot say enough how thankful i am for you all. I believe i am finding healing in myself,my relationship with my Wife, my family, and friends. Sam
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Sam is finding himself
Episode 7: creating connection
Episodes 1-7 are essential. I like the idea mentioned 7 1/2 minutes in that defines connection that we must first feel safe and then fill trust and that will move us to vulnerability and connection.
A difficult listen but some good advice
While I do think there are some helpful bits of information in here, it’s difficult to listen to for a variety of reasons. 1. The audio isn’t balanced. I constantly have to turn down or turn up the volume when someone else takes the mic. Rule number one of podcasting is to keep the audio consistent. Because of this inconsistency, I’m rarely in the “mood” for this annoying experience. 2. The way these three communicate isn’t conducive to podcasting. The constant sarcasm is often uncomfortable and in poor taste. The conversations are WAY more drawn out than they should be, and there is rarely a concise or clear takeaway. 3. I really wish they would show diversity in couples. The husband and wife in this situation are just one “mold” of addiction and betrayal. If you don’t have kids, if you are divorced, if you aren’t Mormon, this pod really won’t apply to you. Yes, there are a couple of episodes where they talk with other people but even those conversations are often dominated by Ashlynn, Coby, and Brennan.
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Wow life changing!
My husband told me a month ago that he has been unfaithful for over two years. And I have been so devastated and lost. I am so thankful that I found your podcast to help both of us to feel that it is possible to recover from betrayal trauma. And that there are people out there that have fixed their relationship and made it better and stronger than ever! We are hoping that is what we can do as well! We both will listen and share what we thought. Thank you for helping this process for us be more hopeful and positive! We have a lot to still work on but we are headed in the right direction because of therapy and your podcast! Thank you for being real and open it has changed our lives!
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More shaming beliefs from a gaslighting religion.
Awesome Podcast!!!
Ashlynn, host of The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert podcast, highlight all aspects of self-improvement and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!
Clarisse Gomez
I am so grateful for this podcast
I have been listening to it for month now. It’s been so helpful in validating my thoughts, emotions and behaviors and my spouses. I has opened my eyes to the reality that there is real hope to heal and to fix our marriage. I am thankful for the vulnerability of making their marriage and it’s problems public to give guidance and hope to all of us out there dealing with similar situations. Thanks guys!!
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Shared so many times this week!
I’ve been listening for a long time, but this week I have shared the podcast with more people than I have since finding you guys. So many women haven’t heard of betrayal trauma and think they are crazy, and I just love that you guys shine a spot light on it. I love this podcast and how it validates me as someone who has been betrayed and shows love to those who struggle with addiction. You guys are pioneers, thank you for being so willing to open up. ❤️
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Andrea Giovanini
A light in a very dark tunnel
We have been listening to your podcasts for a few weeks now. Every morning my husband and I listen to an episode independently and talk about what we learned from it. We have been working on my spouse’s addiction for over 10 years. We have done 12 steps, books, therapists and a long term recovery program. All have given us some tools but we continued to hit brick wall after brick wall. Hearing all three of your perspectives at the same time on the same issue has been monumentally helpful for both of us. Thank you for being so courageous and vulnerable. I can imagine your story is helping thousands. If I could offer some feedback: you often talk about how fantastic your groups were. We unfortunately have not found the same type of scenario and I know we are not alone. Finding a supportive/healthy group can be really hard. When the discussion turns to supportive groups and the experience Ashlyn and Coby had, if Brannon could weigh in more often for those who have not had that experience it would be helpful.
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Sound and relatable wisdom
Having this podcast to listen to for examples and experience similar to my wife and I’d had been a crucial part of my recovery. We are so grateful you guys decided to make the most out of the struggle of sexual addiction and share your experience and stories with the world. So grateful. Thank you. Robert & Emily
Thank you thank you thank you
I cannot tell you enough how grateful I am for you all. This program has helped me so much to get through my toughest times. I have an unfaithful wife justifying her behavior using Gods name which is pretty unique and tough to work through. Your podcast has brought so much understanding to me as I navigate these difficult time
Diego DollaBills
Thank you for prodependence
I found out a year ago that my husband had been betraying me with hookups and porn. He was diagnosed as a sex addict a couple of months later. It has been a hard year. Through this year he has tried to label me saying I am codependent. I am strong and independent, but I have loved my husband and stood by him and done what I could to hold my family together. I appreciate Robert Weiss' prodependence podcast. It was a reminder that the only thing I am guilty of his loving large and trying to hold my family together. This is a great show and it has been super helful to me. It has truly helped me understand some of the trauma I have been through and also understand things from his perspective . I appreciate this podcast.
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Loving so far
Hey all, I stumbled upon this podcast a couple days ago and I am loving it. My husband has been sober for 9 months and has yet to seek any recovery. I have been in recovery since September going to a weekly support group and reading lots of literature. It's been a rough road, but I've been consistently finding the way back to myself. This podcast gives me hope that maybe my husband will seek recovery for himself.
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Such a blessing
This podcast has been amazing for my husband and I’s recovery through his addiction. Not only has this podcast given me validation of all of my feelings and that I am not alone in my feelings, it’s given me a way to better understand and cope with them. My husband and I listen to this podcast together and take notes on our own, and then discuss after, so it’s really given us a platform for discussion that I really believe is helping us understand his addiction better and also grow closer together. Every episode I listen to I just say “YES!” in my head over and over because it finally feels like I’m understood after many years of feeling like I was crazy and overreacting. Thank you, Ashlynn & Coby, for your bravery; I know this isn’t easy to put all out there. And thank you, Brannon, for all of your wisdom. This podcast has truly been a huge blessing for my sanity and, most especially, my marriage.
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kennedy jackle 🙂
This has helped me
These podcasts have helped me so much see the other side and feel empathy for my spouse. It has been a huge struggle but these podcasts have helped me.
Great Resource
I stumbled upon this podcast a few years ago searching desperately for some help to get me through the difficulties of my marriage at the time and the title is what drew me in. I'm now sharing episodes with friends who are struggling with the same issues and I'm able to suggest this podcast to my recovery groups whenever I get the chance. There's excellent advice for marriages struggling with sex addiction but really, ANY marriage could benefit from the practical advice given in each episode. Ya'll are so honest and on point with your advice and strategies. I always feel more hopeful and less crazy after each episode. Thank you for dedicating your time and hearts to this podcast, it is such a great resource!!
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So helpful!
This podcast has been so helpful to me to see a path and way to recover from betrayal and what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. Thank you!!
Blown Away
I am the spouse of a recovering addict and I am so so moved by the podcasts that you publish. To give anyone around the world the steps and tools to start and keep moving forward is amazing! Thank you for all you do.
Elle Michele
Open my eyes
I’m the addicted one. I’m now sober and have been since July 2018. However my recovery was not happening and I could not get what my wife was suffering from. That is until I started listening to this podcast. It’s been an eye opener and has helped me give space and compassion to my wife. We are still in recovery and your show is a big part of our healing.
So worth the listen!
Thank you so much for doing what you do & sharing your experience, wisdom & insights. Your podcast has been a great addition to the healing/recovery work that both my husband and I have been doing since D-day. Your podcast offers such a unique comprehensive look at each topic b/c you are able to speak to all aspects of those involved...struggler, spouse and counselor. It has been really insightful & beneficial for us to hear the “opposite spouse’s” perspective spoken by someone other than our actual spouse, and then hearing the Expert weigh in as well. I highly recommend your podcast to anyone...not just those dealing with betrayal/infidelity, but anyone looking to improve connection & relationships, and be a healthier version of themselves.
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A weight has been lifted
This pod cast is so helpful I just listened to episode 140 and my whole life well 20 years of it at least I felt like a failure or it’s all my fault in my husbands recovery and today’s episode made me feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, that I actually have done something good thank you so much for this! If anyone is dealing with an addict and you have chosen to stay please listen to this, I always felt like a loser or weak for choosing to stay for some reason, but today I feel like a hero thank you so much
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Sound issue
I appreciate your podcasts. The sound needs to be fixed. An example is listen to episode 26. Toby sounds like he is down the hallway in a cave. The intro is loud compared to the sound of the whole episode.
Thank You!
We out about 6 years out from D-Day, married for 25 years and parenting 14 children. This free resource has been so helpful for both of us. We are very grateful . Thank you all for being here!
Catholic mom of 10
Great Job
Keep up the good work. Love the content!
Then Moon's
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