The convergence of a real life situation with the objectivity and experience of a professional makes a powerful combination in this heartfelt, authentic, and eye opening series. A must for all addicted and betrayed a like. Thank you all!

Thank you for this great resource! I am working my way through all the older episodes, and quickly listen to the new ones. Plus, now I know about Real Talk Recovery and Tyler Patrick. I’m loving to hear about being the Buffalo from Ashlynn.

I see how a lot of what they said could be helpful but they totally diminished a huge part If your partner is picturing other people they want sexually that is a door to a addiction and hurtful behavior and can make them want the real thing Also why can’t a partner not be ok with that. What about men who can’t get it up anymore unless they are thinking about these people that hurts the relationship completely.they totally dismiss the ways this hurts the partner and says that the partner has a problem. They don’t go in it to how she may be ok with this if it’s her that you’re thinking about but if you’re thinking of the 20yearold girl down the road and now can’t stop looking at her and want to only picture her that just killed your relationship

Good podcast for sure! Real Talk Recovery is even better!

Beware this couple divorced, and they shouldn’t have done a podcast putting themselves out there until they were truly healed. I think all 3 persons advice is suspect. I also think the therapist on this podcast wasn’t responsible for putting them out there. Also they should change their picture since they aren’t together anymore. I’m tried of so called experts who’s marriages are just as bad as people who are trying to help.

This podcast was helpful, but how that they are going on a different direction so am I. Zach and Darcy do a great job and helped me move on with my marriage. They helped me realize that addiction language and betrayal language are part of what has kept me from moving forward. Check out The Self Mastery Podcast if this podcast has stopped being helpful to you like it has to me.

The ending is problematic. Coby seemed to panic and make a hasty, weak decision. Sounded to me he finally allowed himself to see the reality of Ashlynn’s poor treatment of him, since the podcast only ever looked at his poor treatment of Ashlynn. And the ongoing hating on Coby and loving on Ashlynn is a dynamic that disturbed me throughout and has taken a troubling turn as everyone now seems to deify Ashlynn and demonize Coby. As if only Coby had issues and did harmful things to the relationship. Even the title BAE puts Coby in the “you’re the entire problem” category and Ashlynn in the “you’re entirely a victim” category. Thus, the unspoken message I often heard was that if only Coby could get his act together everything would be perfect. That’s how it came across. But what kind of woman marries and stays with someone like Coby? If you listened carefully, you’d sometimes hear how Ashlynn cared only about appearances initially and was defensive, adversarial, had to win fights and couldn’t admit wrongs, only had eyes to see the negatives in Coby, etc. That sounds to me like a relationship where she had her own independent role in creating an environment where Gottmans four horsemen of the apocalypse reigned. And the unhealthy focus on the female being a victim only and above reproach is not helpful, especially in a dynamic where more than one human is involved. No healthy boundaried woman is connecting (or is it trauma bonding?) with that kind of man, so you have to ask what pathology she brought to the relationship, and whether she was pathalogically invested in having a scapegoat she could treat with contempt and scorn to avoid looking at herself. If you listened carefully to Brannons final recap, he hinted there might be something to Cobys indirect allegation that Ashlynn often invited the four horsemen into the relationship. I found it interesting both seemed scared to speak directly about Ashlynn but had no problem being direct about Cobys problems. Such actions spoke louder than words … and spoke of Ashlynn being a controlling, critical and combative person. Thats the elephant in the podcast. But sure, the guy who openly spoke of his embarrassing actions was a total phony and fraud

I’m not a will smith fan but the fact that you made a podcast episode and the first words were “does will smith lack masculinity” is ridiculous. From what I’ve seen Jada is going through something very difficult (loosing her hair). Its an emotional journey with a lot of lows. Chris rock took a dig at her for a medical condition that is out of her control. He made a joke at her expense out of something that is probably already very emotional. Understandably will was probably triggered by his offensive comments(made on television). You decided to take what could be a very raw moment and judge what very well could be a very raw reaction to hurtful comments and make that the focus of your episode. What about Chris rock making a joke out of a woman’s struggles. Does that not lack masculinity?

I appreciate the episode where Brannon finally tells his perspective, particularly about Coby’s “why I got divorced” episode (which was absolutely cringe-worthy). Coby has the gift of gab and knows how to use it to his advantage. His attempt at painting himself as the victim was shameful. I appreciate that Brannon pointed out that he was inauthentic in his recovery. Let’s call a spade a spade. Coby talks big, but still has a lot of work to do. The false pretense feels icky, and that comes through in the podcast. I appreciate Ashlynn letting us see the messy parts of her imperfect, but authentic and effort-filled recovery, and I feel like Brannon has some good thoughts.

I like the therapy brothers but don’t get much out of the other episodes.

Here are some quotes from the insufferable Feb episode of "Grow with Coby" "Over the years, you talked about how going through recovery had strengthened your marriage. Whether it strengthened your marriage or not, it built you. It personally changed who you are. its not that it's a failed marriage, it's that you found yourself." No, the marriage did fail. Most of us were here to learn about successfully recovering in marriage TOGETHER. That's a serious change of course that your audience got no glimpse of. "If that means I lose my relationship with God for a short term, I'm ok with that." Well actually, no. A main goal of recovery is making decisions in alignment with God. "I had lived so long trying to meet expectations of others that I had no idea it had anything to do with me. I didn't know that I could consider myself in day to day decisions like I do now." I think anyone listening to even 10 minutes of this podcast can see the statement that you didn't consider yourself in decisions is just a complete falsehood. Maybe the problem was the exact opposite? Too much focus on the self is not how most of the audience is striving to live. "I don't owe a thing to anybody." Ok, ditto. Then stop trying to sell us your services. Or go to school, get licensced and certified and help people within those ethical and moral boundaries. I think there's been a lack of transparency about you guys wanting and succeeding in making money off of this. "If I get on that train of what other people are saying, I've stepped out of alignment, because those voices won't serve me in any way. I need to make sure that I can align myself with decisions that represent my truth." Got that audience? Don't criticize or comment in any way that doesn't align with Coby's "truth." Why aren't you standing up for them??!! Subtle manipulation, but there is a tell. When you hear things like "I hope you can feel the earnestness." or "You're going to get authenticity from me” usually, the opposite is happening. People who are being earnest, authentic and living with integrity do not need to tell you that they are doing so. It's sad to see things end like this. I do agree that you all did a lot of good as well, though. Audience: "Trust yourself."

Thank you so much for doing this episode!!! Obviously we are all just spectators, not in the relationship. Divorce is hard and there are always three sides to every story. As a listener from the beginning, I feel you validated what has felt ‘off’ for quite some time. The podcast has helped me so much. Yet, the way it ended and Coby’s recent episode especially, left me feeling icky. Thank you for all of the work you do!!! You guys are amazing.

I used to love this podcast but man- the Grow with Coby episode on 2/20/22- I will never listen again. I love you Ashlynn and wish you the best!

So I’ve enjoyed listening to “The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert” in past years! I took a little listening hiatus and was surprised to come back to the podcast and learn that so much had changed for you guys. I’m sorry to hear that, and to consider how challenging that must have been. I really appreciated you sharing your story. I actually happen to be the addict in my relationship; but I really found what you had to say, in this episode, to be really helpful. So thank you so much, and for your willingness to share your experiences with others. God bless.

I found this podcast years ago while working my S-Anon program. It has brought me out of my shame of my husband’s addiction and believing I was never good enough for him or anyone else around me. It has helped me to stop my shaming loud voices in my head and face and acknowledge them. I also was able to see addiction from his side and realize the pain he was also in. Their divorce hit me hard as I was also separated from my husband and leaning toward divorce. I thought there was no hope in the world for a recovering addict and had to stop listening for a few months. I am so glad I came back and love all the different perspectives they offer. Ashlynn’s Be the Buffalo resonates in my soul. I feel strengthened with each podcast to love myself and focus on my side of the street. Your team is a lighthouse to the dark and lonely who suffer in silence and shame.

I just discovered this podcast 10/2021 so I’m not emotionally invested in Ashlynn and Colby’s marriage. So them announcing their uncoupling/divorce doesn’t influence my view of them. A lot of reviews show that people were really invested in their marriage 😂 anyway! As far as a resource for betrayed/betrayer spouses this podcast is good. I gave 4, not 5 stars because I don’t love all the language and emotionalism around betrayal. Like, sometimes I just think there’s way too much labeling and pathologizing of behavior. But maybe take that with a grain of salt because I’m an enneagram 8w7 so I am blocked emotionally. Just like with ANYTHING don’t take or try to apply things 100% to your life, take what’s helpful. I’ve listened to 5 episodes so far and am finding 80% of the content to be helpful.

I enjoyed the podcast but knew from episode one that Coby was a fraud. I told my wife after episode one that Coby didn’t seem to own his faults. I took issue with episode 4 “what happens when the betrayed relapses?” As the sex addict in my relationship I have come to understand you cannot relapse when recovering from trauma. The betrayed partner “relapses” when they don’t feel safe. The fight or flight response is triggered when their intuition tells them they are not safe and could be hurt again. As the betrayer I realize this responsibility falls on me to create safety and trust. I feel like this puts blame on the betrayed and makes them feel crazy for have these feeling which are valid.

Some good info within the first 200 episodes. But in the end they divorce and then they try to get you to subscribe to their new endeavors. No thanks. I don’t really respect Coby. He failed his wife and kids. I wish them the best. I think Ash grew so much and is in a way better place and you can see all the growth. The grow with coby show is a lot of ramble. Not a lot of substance.

“Boundaries” exist and are important. But when you build a business and following based off of extreme honesty then those boundaries begin to encompass those you’ve included in your journey. It’s clear what’s happened here and it’s also clear that Cory is the one to make this decision for everyone else. My heart breaks for Ashlynn but ultimately she’s better off and my hope is that this decision from Cory came from that acknowledgment but I doubt it …

My husband and I have been listening to this podcast for a few months and found parts of it helpful. But with the latest episode we are extremely disappointed! Of course people want privacy but when this podcast came out you chose to share the details of your relationship with everyone listening. I originally admired that and was hopeful to get to a point to do the same. And yet as you now use the excuse of “the need for privacy” it undoes everything you’ve been teaching. It’s difficult to believe the story you’ve told when so much does not add up in the past few months. The fact that you’ve decided to now need privacy suggests that you are ashamed of the reasoning for the divorce. This again makes me question the sincerity of the message you claim to teach. “Uncoupling” is divorce-don’t try to sugar coat it.

Triggering thousands of people and destroying hope all over the world! Wow… You do this announcement about “uncoupling” whatever that is…then 2 days later send a Venmo request for your recovery small group???? Jerk… arrogant jerk. Her face and body language said it all in the video they released. He cried those big fake tears and she sat there tall and dignified but in PAIN. If you know.. you know. Ashlynn should do a podcast alone about being given no choice in “uncoupling” and doing YOUR PART (eh hem Coby) of the hard work. I’m no psychiatrist but this guy is a narcissist. He “led” small group for 2 hours one week and talked about himself the whole entire time. This was a week before the announcement and everyone in those groups knew something was wonky.

First, having done a lot of recovery work in the area of co-dependency myself, it was good to have a fresh voice in Ashlyn with the trauma betrayal piece. And it is clear she has done some work. However, Coby is a piece of work, talks like he gets it, but in the end it didn’t matter and he didn’t get it, add this one to the broken marriages pile of marriage podcasts.

After listening to the “Divorce Episode” I feel “Betrayed, betrayed and betrayed.” I disagree Brannon that this episode doesn’t discount all the good information that has been shared in the other 199 episodes. Unfortunately, for me it taints the entire podcast. Many of the comments during this episode were like trying to put lipstick on a pig and talk about how beautiful the new makeover looks. You can call it a pretty name like “uncoupling” if it makes you feel better. What is most frustrating for me is that Coby gave no reason for making this decision. If you’ve spent the past 199 episodes being rigorously honest about recovery, then what’s stopping you now from at least having the courtesy of helping your audience understand this. You gave all the not” reasons for this decision. What I heard from Coby was a confused man, who is believing a lie that this decision will lead to greater happiness. I can’t help but also wonder if this is a case study for how it can become very unhealthy to have your life too much in the public eye. I apologize that most of my comments are coming from a place of judgement, but right now I am feeling frustrated and betrayed.

This podcast is horrible. And I listened to most episodes. In the back of my mind, I ALWAYS felt the husband was a fraud and disingenuous, frolicking in the fields of the popularity he gained by cheating on his wife. Twice. (At least) But I kept thinking, man they keep coming back together, maybe he’s just not great on a microphone? But then the last episode... This dude has the audacity to choose to divorce his wife and abandon his daughters and cry about it. And they left that take after editing. So. Gross. AFTER editing, they chose to leave this in - Here’s the quote and all you need to hear from this man, he says it through blabbering tears, “My hope is that everyone will -feel the earnestness- and the emotion and the vulnerability as evidence that this is real, both recovery and it’s many skills and functions...” LAUGH OUT LOUD. When someone tells you, “I hope you feel the earnestness,” you can bet two bucks and a bag of skittles they are anything but earnest. May the peace of God finally rest on Ashlynn and her daughters. May God grant that this man repent in TRUE earnestness and sincerity or be forever tormented by his self deception.

We found this podcast at exactly the right moment, it was essential for making sense of what we were both going through and I will be forever grateful for your wisdom and bravery in sharing your story. It sounds like this may have come at a cost to you, which is unfortunate. As a therapist, I have recommended it to many clients and will continue to do so. As a betrayed spouse, I won’t lie...I’ve rolled my eyes at Coby many times in moments when I struggled to access my compassion. When he calls himself a d-bag, I’ve nodded emphatically in agreement :) The news about the divorce was a surprise but not troubling; these things happen and as much as we know about the story, we don’t know all of it. As a listener/spouse, the only thing I’m struggling with was “traumatizing Ashlynn and daughters” with HOW the news was delivered. This is a big ‘cliffhanger’ that left me with a lot of uncertainty. I can accept the fact that some couples find recovery and still don’t stay together. And the thought of Coby making a unilateral decision like this and delivering the news in some unideal way despite having endless resources to minimize the damage, I guess I’m left not knowing how to feel about him or the show. And that’s ok, sitting with ambiguity is a skill I’ve developed over time. But it definitely replicated the excruciating confusion all betrayed partners are familiar with...what exactly am I healing from/what is this person capable of? Can I trust them/myself? Are they REALLY in recovery? If this had been a “full disclosure” with the audience, this is a detail I would have wanted. Best wishes to all!

I hear no remorse from this guy. He is saying what he has to say to not seem like a bad guy. Typical narcissist. He has traumatized this woman and now gets to move on and start up with someone else who he doesn’t have to be accountable to. Men like this do not leave unless someone else is waiting in the wings. Ashlyn. Be mad and own It. you deserve to be mad. This last episode is textbook gaslighting.

This podcast is great to understand what people go through in betrayal, and to learn from the expert, but it’s so clear that Coby has not done the same work as Ashlynn. From her disclosing awhile ago that annually he would tell her he didn’t love her anymore, to him suddenly asking for a divorce? He strikes me as someone going through the motions, and perhaps even doing that really well, but lacking the true self awareness that comes from genuine long-term recovery. Ashlynn on the other hand has seemed to find herself and grown stronger through difficult challenges, pain, and trauma. Listen for the expert and betrayed.

You lived this since this happened. You will be free now. I love that you will no longer live under this betrayer name. I’ve been thru betrayal from my husband and I could never make him live that each day. Bless you for doing that as long as you did.

I was really disappointed today to hear this announcement from Coby. I am a recovering addict who has turned to this podcast for a lot of guidance and help. I personally feel betrayed that these people I have followed as role models of recovery and healing grief are throwing in the towel after so much hard work. I can’t see how a man who claims he is in recovery and who is connected could file for divorce out of nowhere. Obviously he hasn’t been honest with Ashlynn or his therapists or recovery groups (if he has anyone he still gets support from). Who is he talking to that says “yeah, you’re in solid recovery, time to file for divorce”?? Feeling really upset, and am questioning the advice he has given on here. Ashlynn, my wife and I feel heart broken for you to have been betrayed yet again.

I gave this podcast 5 starts because the content is soooo good. My husband and I have been listening to you guys for over a year and even though it was so tough to hear the news of your divorce I still love all the great content you guys have shared with us. Ashlyn and Coby have inspired me to push forward even in the toughest times in our marriage. I’m so sad that Coby chose to go a different route. Ashlynn my heart is broken for you and the girls. Thank you for showing us that even when faced with trials that seem bigger than us, we can always choose to push forward and grow. Prayers for your family💕

The last thing I want to hear is a sex addict crying. And the very last thing I ever want to hear is that he is crying because he has decided to divorce the woman who stuck by his side and in his words “in a traumatic way” no less. Really just shows me that it’s not worth it to stay.

This is really helping me understand more about my addiction - but more than that, how my wife (the betrayed) feels. Thank you for sharing your story!

I cried so hard through the entire pod cast last night. This thing we call life is so difficult. I want to thank you for being so so so real. God knows. & will guide you & continue to give you the strength to keep going in your own individual journeys and as a family with your precious girls. I, too, am in the process of divorce, but it’s not as beautiful or mutually respected as this. I will not be friends with my ex-husband because the abuse never stopped, he remained stuck. I’m just thankful that I decided to step into the storm (& believe me it’s still storming DAILY) because I’ve never realized my worth and how I could handle feelings, triggers, etc! God is good. Thank you. For all you are: strong, beautiful, humble, real!

Ashlyn and Colby! You're more public than I am bud I would love to converse with both of you!! My life so mirrors yours and I don't judge or blame either of you!! I understand Colby taking the blame and guilt!! I absolutely understand and feel your pain!! Both sides of it!! I would like to converse with both of you!! I'm going thru the same emotions and need some help!! I'm the best person I've ever been!! I'm not the person she sees me as!! I'm not ready to go to that step but want help!! I need both perspectives!!

Sad Coby just wants a divorce now after all he put Ashlyn through. I’m sorry to hear this news today. He often called himself a do$&h on the podcast. Seems like a good fit.

Recently found this podcast... looking for tools to guide my own betrayal. I do find much of your content useful and informative. What I struggled with is a feeling of inauthenticity. I can’t quite explain it. You proclaim “my truth” and being so open and honest about your journey. I just feel the tone of which Colby spoke felt lacking humility and remorse. No matter how far down the path of your recovery you journey.... your still walking the life of the addict, and can easily fall into the same patterns. I felt there was more arrogance than humility. Then today’s episode.... Colby is divorcing his wife. So sad for her, on the other hand... probably better for her. I’m sorry you’ve endured such a hard journey with him. Honestly, I question the validity of this whole podcast.

There is a lot of truth in this podcast that is good and true and worth listening to to help your own recovery journey with your loved one. Nothing comes out abruptly if open and honest communication was part of the process. So there was still a lack of honesty for the divorce announcement to have come “out of nowhere”

Just have to say thank you! My husband has been in jail for the past 18m awaiting sentencing. Unknown to me, he was struggling with an sexual addiction that lead him down a pretty sad path. I am doing my recovery work and believe this time will help propel him to where he has always wanted to be. Fully known and fully loved. Anyways, in the meantime, your podcast has been essential to my recovery. I spend hours each week listening and implementing your teachings and experience into my life. When my husband can finally listen, I know it will be a lifeline in addiction to recovery and counseling work. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for being here with me, when I am alone in this recovery process for now. It has strengthened me and prepared me for the next stage of our journey. Thank you so much!

I’m a recovering addict, and my wife and I listen to this podcast so much that we affectionately call it “Bae” now for short. My D-day was 8.5 months ago and we found this podcast together about 5 months in. We were both struck by how real and practical the advice is, and how relevant every episode seems to be to our circumstances. It’s such a resource to me that my first thought when I encounter a new hard thing in the healing journey is, “I bet Bae has an episode about this.” They always do. Ashlynn and Coby feel like old friends, and I’m confident I’m not the only listener who feels that way. I pray for them often, and am so thankful for the gift of time and dedication they bring to this podcast. For any couple in recovery, this is a must-have in your arsenal of resources!

I have been a loyal listener for about a year. I’m so grateful to Ashlyn and Coby being so authentic. It helps me make connections from their real stories and real struggles that I don’t think I would if everything stayed in the realm of theory. Their real life examples demonstrate how recovery is a process but one worth the endeavor. I’m seeing a therapist now that uses Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a trauma technique. I love the results it has given me but I would love Brannon’s insights on that technique vs EMDR and ART. I heard the episode where they discussed EMDR and ART but I would love to know his thoughts on IFS Thanks for living your story publicly it helps loyal listeners like me to grow along beside you

My husband and I have been married 13 years. Early on in our marriage was the first discovery of his Porn Addiction. I suffered betrayal trauma for many years. I didn’t know where to turn or who to tell. I protected his dirty secret out of shame. He sought help through a “weekend program” and attended a men’s group from church that only dealt with general issues. Needless to say...That’s not enough! Fast forward to 2020 He relapsed again and this time I reached out for professional help for the both of us. In addition, coincidentally, I found your Podcast! Life Changing! Hearing a voice from the addicted man’s perspective has changed my heart. I am more understanding. Thank you for your efforts in helping others find healing & safety in a relationship that has been damaged by betrayal. KC

This podcast has been a staple in my recovery journey. This trio has such a dynamic approach to all things betrayal recovery - the coverage of topics is balanced which can be hard to find. Thank you for doing what you do!

I’ve been listening since nearly the beginning of this podcast. I’m at a beer different place in like now than when I started but continue to listen because the information is valuable for anyone that’s trying to better them self. Thank you!

I discovered this podcast in fall of 2019 after I had discovered a second affair in my marriage .... my spouse and I both had been working recoveries in other programs over the last 20 yrs- )I honestly thought I was done, I couldn’t work through another affair much less work another recovery program on top on Al- ANON- Until I heard the “Beyond Betrayal” podcast - and I have found a new hope, a new opportunity, a new view on the “new drug”... I am so grateful for your podcast and look forward to Tuesday’s when you guys share a new topic!! Thank you MAW

I found your podcast a couple months into COVID & binged your entire library throughout the summer while on walks.... because physical movement also moves emotions. 😉 After years & years of trickled discoveries, 2 major D-days, years of avoiding to remain the “good wife” & being focused on my husband’s recovery, your podcast gave me eyes for empathy, compassion & grace - both for myself & for my husband. Your honest & vulnerable approach to difficult topics keeps me engaged. Brannon’s expert insight is easy to understand. You’ve managed to put my feelings into words & helped to untangle the confusion inside my head. We’ve both learned & implemented so much from this podcast. I’m so grateful! Our family is in a much healthier place thanks to your resources ..... & that, is so good for the soul!

I have been married for 21 years. I have had several discoveries through our marriage. Before the last discovery something felt really wrong In my gut, I searched for podcasts on betrayal on a whim and found you. Three days later was D day. It was clearly a gift from God that I found you right before D day. Your podcast helped sustain me through these past two years. I’m so incredibly grateful for you both sharing your truth providing hope and creating programs to help others move I to healing. I have found courage to face my truth and change myself through this. My words can never express how grateful I am for this podcast! Thank you!

The information, knowledge, and experiences you share are priceless. You give so much hope to a group of people that feel lost, alone, and stuck. Thank you thank you thank you for your transparency and effort to share with the rest of us. You do amazing work. 💕

I can’t even begin to describe what light this podcast brought to my marriage. It helped my husband SO MUCH and myself SO MUCH. And then together we grew. And we learned things early on in our marriage so we could learn them NOW. Why wait to get help and guidance. It’s hard either way! My husband and I are so grateful for these 3 people 🤍🤍

I stumbled onto this podcast just looking for anything about betrayal trauma and it has just made such a huge impact on my thinking and processing and coping. I discovered my husbands infidelity exactly a year ago today but his addiction to porn alcohol and drugs has been a constant presence in our marriage for 14 years. This podcast first helped me feel validation that I so badly needed just to move forward but since Ive started listening and sharing them with my husband and a close friend also dealing with similar problems, they’ve helped me to develop tools to communicate and to understand boundaries. It’s also opened up a whole world of resources for parenting and other relationships. It’s been such a gift just to know there are people out there who know and who understand and who have succeeded. I listen at work on my AirPods and I have to constantly stop myself from shouting out in agreement all the time 😂 Thank you for sharing your story and helping so many people!

I have not experienced betrayal in my marriage, but I still find this content so relevant and helpful! They are real, funny, and so relatable. This podcast has really helped open conversation up with myself and improve my relationship with my spouse and myself!