Show notes
“An abusive person will never admit and change their behavior just because you tell them to. You have to remove yourself from the situation.”This episode is part 2 of my conversation with Kate Anthony, an expert in communication, co-parenting, divorce, and emotional intelligence. She is passionate about helping other women survive from the coercive control of abusive relationships and domestic violence. If you weren’t able to follow this episode, please go back and listen to part 1. Join us in part two of this interview as Kate shares about the red flags and realizing the magnitude of an abusive relationship.[00:01 – 06:19] The Red FlagsKate talks about the red flags in her previous abusive relationship.The biggest red flag was her ex-boyfriend was a narcissist.She shares how she was raped and physically abused for the first time by her ex-boyfriend.She shares about how she took the final decision to end the relationship.[06:20 – 11:46] The Common DenominatorKate talks about her life after college. She shares the story of how she met her ex-husband.She attended a couple of CoDA meetings.Kate shares about her realization of being the common denominator She went to her first Al-Anon meetings, which completely changed everything.She talks about the red flags that she missed.Her ex-boyfriend held constant control of her, leading to dependent feelings.She continuously attempted to make herself better for her ex-husband to turn things around for ten years.It was all about having something for him to control, dominate, and belittle her.That is the only way he could feel good about himself.Narcissists feel so bad about themselves while also having a completely over-inflated ego.[11:47 – 18:32] Realizing the Magnitude of The TraumaKate talks about the similarities between her childhood trauma and her relationship with her ex-husband.Her ex-husband is the perfect combination of her worst childhood wounding. She talks about her current relationship with her ex-husband and how things are different now.The solution and the work are all up to her.An abusive person will never admit and change their behavior just because you tell them to. You have to remove yourself from the situation.When you are in an abusive situation, you are constantly in a trauma response that does not allow you to process things.Only until you are out of the relationship and your trauma response gets settled will you start to realize the magnitude of the damageTweetable Quotes: “Narcissists feel so bad about themselves while also having a completely overinflated ego.” - Kate Anthony.“An abusive person will never admit and change their behavior just because you tell them to. You have to remove yourself from the situation.” - Kate Anthony.“Only until you are out of the relationship and your trauma response gets settled will you start to realize the magnitude of the damage.” - Kate Anthony.Find out more about Kate by visiting her website, and you can connect with her through social media like Instagram and Facebook. Surviving to Thriving is brought to you by Knight Protection Services. A veteran-owned and operated company, Knight Protection Services employs a diverse group of former law enforcement officers and military veterans of the highest integrity, with extensive experience in risk assessment and crime prevention. Find out more by visiting https://knightprotectionllc.com/.For More Information About Surviving To Thriving: http://tothriving.org/