This week's episode is about Masculine & Feminine Toxicity that exist in the black community; the unhealthy ways and behaviors of black men and black women. My guest, Bree Banks, Host of the Podcast Show, "The Fearless Faith Podcast", and I discussed the toxic ways that have been problematic when it comes to domestic relationships and marriages. In the wake of what took place at the Oscars, which has been used as an example of how black are supposed to stand up for his black woman.... which is a terrible example to use. This black woman spoke truths about how most black women, not all, lack accountability when it comes to admitting when they're wrong and how they need to stop playing victim to situations by using the "damsel in distress" approach. In situations where a black woman see her black man getting hostile and upset at someone, as his significant other, at the very least, she should want to do all you can to calm him down and help try and prevent him from escalating the situation and if you don't do that, how can you say you care about him?
Bree spoke to the fact that most black women too often want black men to be listen to them when it comes to what we black men aren't doing but not willing to listen to black men when they tell them what they're not doing. Some great points about how black women need to make better decisions when it comes to choosing the right man versus making generalizing statements about ALL men instead of just the men she's dealt with. As a black man, there are things we do that are toxic in relationships, like being petty, not protecting black women, disrespecting black women, etc. As black men though, we have feelings too. The black relationships and marriages can't consist of just the black woman's feelings and her happiness alone because she's not in the relationship herself. The black man's feelings and concerns matter too.
We have to stop this narrative that if a black man disagrees with a black woman, he's deemed as a man who hate women. That can't be further from the truth. Speaking for black men as a black man, WE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY BLACK WOMEN. It is okay to agree to disagree, respectfully. Most black women who tend to be very opinionated about black men usually don't want to listen to the constructive criticism that black men are trying to give. As critical as it is for black men to fix their issues to be better men, black women have to do just the same to fix their issues.
Bree and I talked about how the healthiness of the black relationship rely on how black women need to admit when they're wrong and learn to listen just twice as much you talk and black men we have to be more considerate of the things we do that hurt your feelings. We agree on the fact that the only way we can have healthier relationships is if we do it together.
This is an ongoing conversation that I will have again with Bree as well as a few other guests to bring more perspectives into the fold that we need to consider to get into more internal issues that lie beneath the surface within us. If you want to reach out to Bree about things we spoke about on this show, she can be reached on IG @breebanks. Be sure to check out her podcast show on Spotify @FearlessFaithPodcast, she has some very insightful takes on standing in your truth as a black woman and being able to admit your wrongs and shortcomings and be willing to do something about it. Much love to Bree Banks for speaking facts that we men can't speak about when it comes to black women.
