It's easy to look back and be mad at ourselves for our past decisions that were made during a traumatic experience. Try to be compassionate with yourself. And, be compassionate to others that have made decisions you don't understand. You weren't there to know why drove those decisions. Love and light to all! You never know what others are going through, or what they've been through. Everyone has a story, try to remember that.

Disclaimer: I am not a health professional of any kind. If you need more help, please find a professional who can help you appropriately.