How come female witches get all the easy accoutrement-ing? Male witches, “mitches” henceforth, deserve some help here. We try to help, and you can to, by getting #MitchEmojiNow trending on the socials!

Also: Someone swiped left on you. The Moomba. The broken-condom child named Sonesh. The work game of SoBadItsBad.cum. Ron, you are the worst guest. Stay at Derek’s, man! John Lester as Chris Tucker as Hamlet.

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