That cozy Sleepytime Tea bear is a symbol of the unconscious in more ways than one.  Today we uncover how Celestial Seasonings was inspired by The Urantia Book, a 2,097-page text of garbage written by William S. Sadler, a eugenicist and student of Freud. The Urantia Book is 4.3 lbs. of racist ideologies disguised in confusing jargon about aliens, the colors of the rainbow, and planet #606: Urantia, aka Earth. We also discuss the disastrous Kardashian-approved Fittea, Skinny Tea, and Bootea, the latter of which is to blame for a rash of pregnancies in the U.K. 

 Every Snacktime Conspiracy episode somehow connects back to masturbator-haters John Harvey Kellogg and Sylvester Graham as well as our beloved Kimberly Kardashian and this episode is no different. Wake up sheeple! Celestial Seasonings is lying to you!