• How much y’all reckon it would cost to just buy a football program outright?

• Short on new can’t-miss business ideas this week, but almost positive we’re the first media outlet to suggest militarizing rodeo clowns

• Who are you, “officer," to tell us we “cannot” jetski through the Suez Canal

• Ryan invents a game that reveals just how easy Spencer would be to steal from

• There are manatee noises! It’s not cute!!

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