(Full Notes)Friday, October 2, 2020Depression is hard.  Anxiety is hard.  Schizophrenia I'm sure is hard, and the list goes on.  Again, the thing is, self-deception results from our choices but it also results from not our choices.  And how do you tell the difference?  Who knows the choices a person has made besides that person and God?  Maybe somebody, but probably not.  Period.Sunday, October 4, 2020Let's go on this idea that depression is caused by the idea, the thought, that you are worthless, and everything that flows from that.  The idea is that if you keep thinking it repeatedly it will become a pattern somehow.  And somehow self-deception is tied in with that.  It becomes an excuse.  Or maybe it's an excuse from the get-go?  I hope it's ok if I delete all this because it's messy.  There's misery to it, same as with anxiety.  There's misery.  And misery is an excuse, right?  Wow, can't believe I'm saying this.  Really want to delete it now (because what if it's not.).  But what if it is?  What if the misery is an excuse?  Somehow it's an excuse.  It holds you in the pattern of not doing what you need to do.  Well is there something that you need to do that you're not doing?    I pray for revelation, for strokes of ideas to my mind, for a little help as I strive to understand these things.What causes depression?  Does it really begin with the lie?  Or can chemistry come first, and the lie come after that?  That doesn't really make sense.  I can't really see how that would make sense.  Chemistry first?  Nah, how would that happen?  You feel miserable and then something else happens mentally?  No, the misery only comes as an excuse.  An excuse for what?  Hmm.  An excuse for not doing what you need to do, which is to love yourself and stop making excuses.  The misery doesn't come from physiology.  It comes from the excuse.  Right?  The misery. . .well there's a physical aspect to it, though.  But that's not the misery.  Sure, it's miserable to feel physically bad, but pain or physical discomfort doesn't equal the misery that's felt with depression or anxiety.  No, no no.  That misery comes from the lie.  There's a mechanism here.  It's not just one big blob.  Not just a collection of symptoms and so forth.  There's an essence to it - it's all connected logically.  Physiologically and mentally.  Spiritually.  It's all connected, but not as a blob - rather the different parts are connected to each other in different ways, and that's what we need to discover.  Like a car is all connected, but not all the parts are connected to each other in the same way.  No, no, no.  There's electrical connections and there's physical and mechanical connections of different types.  A car is actually kind of complex.  Pray we can understand how things are connected with psychology.  Pray we can understand.  I have this belief that we can.  That's the belief I have.  If it's false, I'm wasting a lot of time here.  And getting all excited over nothing.  But I don't think I'm wrong.  I believe it's a tough problem, to be sure, but not one that's beyond a mortal's ability to comprehend.  Somebody just hasn't thought of the breakthrough idea yet.  Like Einstein did.  I believe God is willing for us to understand, if we'll ask, seek, and knock.  That's what I'm doing.  That's what I do.  And I intend to keep it up until I can explain this stuff to somebody.Maybe it's little more nuanced than that the lie comes first.  Or maybe not.  But let's say the lie comes first.  Well, maybe the temptation comes first.  What's the temptation?  The temptation…the temptation is to discount yourself, and that's what you do.  It's easier.  We're lazy, and a little bit rebellious.  It's