“Dr. Cheryl, how can I be kinder to my sweetie?”“Why do we speak to each other so rudely and sarcastically?”“How do I stop myself from being so nasty all the time?”Are you kind to your sweetheart? Or do you sometimes find yourself speaking to them with a nastiness you don’t even recognize? It may be hard to admit, but it’s not uncommon to find yourself speaking to your mate far more unkindly than they deserve… And the truth is, you’re so much better than that. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you just a few of the ways you can spend 2024 being kinder and speaking more fairly to your honey. Today, I want to get really real about something that I’m guilty of—and I suspect it’s something quite a few of you might be guilty of, too. It can be easy to find yourself acting sarcastic and insulting toward your mate, but we always have the choice to choose kindness. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Being rude to our loved ones has become more normalized, but that does not mean you have to take it on (05:36)You have the capacity to stop being nasty at any second (08:10)If you do find yourself being nasty, ask for a do-over and begin again (09:51)Some of us can be unkind and critical without even meaning to (13:55)Today’s LoveByte (14:44)Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, how can I spice things up in the bedroom with my sweetheart?”“Why has the heat left our sex life?”“How can I get my lover to be adventurous in bed like we used to be?”Think back to the beginning of your relationship… How spicy or adventurous or open or willing or playful or hot or uninhibited were you? And why aren’t you and your lover that way anymore? Often when we make deeper steps towards commitment, the stakes are higher. We're more vulnerable than in those first few months and we become more fearful of rejection.On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you my biggest tips to bring the spice back to the bedroom in your long term relationship.Are you willing to settle for “nice” as the benchmark for success for your sexual life? I know that’s not true for most of you, but maybe you’ve become a lazy lover. Do you wish you could be more inventive? That you could suggest things? That you could please your lover's body?In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Most of us are more adventurous and playful in bed at the beginning (01:49)Get more acquainted with your own turn-ons (08:09)Share your sexual fantasy with your lover (13:11)Don’t be lazy—do some research! (16:50)Today’s LoveByte (17:36)Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“But Dr. Cheryl, don’t you know that romance is dead?” “How can I be as sexy as those guys my wife reads about in her steamy books?”“Will I ever stop waiting for my rom com meet-cute whirlwind romance?!”It's pretty easy to be cynical about modern love. We’re so misled by the media and romantic comedies and romance novels about what love should look like that it can be really dangerous to our relationships. We have this illusion that love and romance need to be a certain way, but the truth is that real life relationships are a whole lot different than what we see on the screen or read on the page. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you my biggest tips to create and sustain romance between you and your partner through 2024 and beyond.When’s the last time you and your sweetheart really thought out of the box for a date night? What about exploring a whole new-to-you cuisine, stepping out of your typical movie genre box, or even learning to ice skate together (and sharing a laughing fit when you both end up on your bottoms!) It can be hard to get out of your comfortable rut, but branching out can bring some much needed spice and bonding time to a long term relationship.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:The most important predictor of happiness, health, and well being in our lives is the health and happiness of our romantic relationship (00:40)Idealized portrayals of love can be damaging to our real life relationship (03:38)Date nights are a no-brainer and a non-negotiable (04:38)A great relationship is about taking action (11:16)Expressing gratitude lowers your heart rate and your stress response (12:09)Get off your butt and celebrate with your sweetheart (16:18)Today’s LoveByte (18:56)Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.If you have 4 dates with your partner in the next month and send us proof, we'll send you a prize! Just email Hello@Drcherylfraser.com.Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow @drcherylfraser on InstagramLet’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“But Dr. Cheryl, shouldn’t the goal be not to have any arguments with my sweetheart?”If you’re a human being who loves another human being, do you truly think it's healthy to never argue with your sweetheart? To never disagree, never have a tense conversation or one that leads to you feeling anxious or worried or hurt or angry? On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you why a long term relationship with no fighting or arguing is one giant red flag.When you’re arguing with your partner, you literally cannot know their side of things. You can’t see their side of the clock, you can’t visualize what they're seeing—they have a different background, a different family upbringing, different hopes and dreams. It’s this simple, powerful idea that often becomes one of the most important teachings for couples in my Become Passion program. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Couples who don’t have conflict are avoiding the tough topics (02:00)One of the best ways to improve your communication is to take a step back from what's happening in the moment (09:38)To argue effectively, you and your honey need to agree on a “time out” signal (12:40)When we're triggered and irrational, we are being hijacked by our emotions (14:28)We make mistakes and our partners make mistakes—learn to apologize like a pro (19:30)Today’s LoveByte (21:09)Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Dr. Cheryl, we never have sex anymore!” “Dr. Cheryl, with the kids, the dog, and the mortgage, there’s no time left for the bedroom!” “Dr. Cheryl, our sex life has totally lost its spark—how did things become so boring?”These are the types of questions I hear repeatedly from the couples in my Become Passion program, and they’re the sort of issues that nearly every long term relationship goes through. Whether you’ve found yourself running your marriage like a business or your sex life has become as exciting as a 12 hour Netflix binge, there is hope and you and your honey CAN bring the sexy back.On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about how to improve your sex life in the new year.I'm very passionate about helping long term couples just like you improve your relationship and I’ve had plenty of practice doing it. Today, you’ll hear three tried and true tips to start out 2024 with your most sensual foot forward. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:My first tip for better sex is to practice more non-erotic touch (01:43)The three breath hug is a great way to start regularly using non-erotic touch (03:15)Tip number 2: Schedule sensual time (05:55)Waiting for spontaneous sexual desire is like waiting for a teenager to spontaneously clean their room (08:51)Whether you're making love these days or not, try bathing together naked (14:37)Tip three: Please, be a little more creative! (20:11)Today’s LoveByte (21:55)Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you think about failure in terms of your relationship, what does it mean to you? Is it separation? Moving out? The big “D”? All those things can definitely feel like failing… But what about when you and your partner start to move into Marriage Incorporated territory, where your relationship runs much more like a business than a romance?On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m asking some very important questions for you and your partner to answer going into 2024.Today, I’m giving you a little assignment to take some time with your honey to sit down and really discuss this past year in earnest. Afterall, without a little introspection, how can we predict our own success or failure? Some questions I ask in this episode:One year from now…How do you want to feel about your relationship? What would success feel like? What would it look like? What are you doing better? How have you improved? In what ways? Are you happier? In what ways is your partner happier? Are you making sure they feel as precious as they are, even when life gets in the way?How do you want to feel? What do you want to be? Who do you want to be in your relationship?Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist. Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.Take the polar plunge and get a prize! Take a picture of yourself afterward and send it to hello@drcherylfraser.com to win.Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise. Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.comWant to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know the story of Scrooge and the visits he received on Christmas Eve—but have you ever stopped to realize that you’re acting a little like old Scrooge yourself? Maybe you’re a Scrooge to your sweetheart when you're under holiday stress… Are you bickering? Are you fighting? Are you blaming? In celebration of Christmas, this week and next I’m giving you a double dose of my Dharma Talks. Tune into today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants for your front row seat. Tune in and learn how Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol still holds relevant lessons in today’s world and how we can use them to explore our mindset.In This Episode, You Will Learn:Reasons are not excuses (14:08)We can all redo, remake, regret, forgive, and begin again (20:40)No matter what religion you follow, the ugliness of the human mind and psyche is universally greed and ignorance and aversion (32:48)We have the opportunity every morning to wake up and lead with heart and generosity (42:51)More often than not, we're simply ignorant—we forget to remember to give, we forget to remember to judge less and love more (45:11)Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise. Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.comWant to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a kid, I had magical, picture perfect Christmases. The stockings by the fire, the gifts beneath the tree, and a beautiful, loving family to make it all warm and incredibly special… But the next day? I was in a world of disappointment, depression, and despair because I could never cope with the fact that everything was suddenly over. I was clinging to the past. Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants is a front row seat to one of my holiday Dharma Talks. Tune in and learn how we still have lessons to learn from Santa Claus and the Grinch—even as adults.In This Episode, You Will Learn:Every time you think you've found the one who's gonna keep you happily ever after, it’s a variation on the Santa Claus effect (08:16)The true heart is inside and whether all our beautiful things are there to share with people we love or none of our things are there we can still share what matters (23:41)It's not about stuff, It's not about winning, it’s about love. It's about the light of compassion, kindness, community, and generosity (25:26)Every time we love anything, we're going to hurt (32:15)More often than not, we're simply ignorant—we forget to remember to give, we forget to remember to judge less and love more (45:11)Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise. Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.comWant to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This season, remember that gifts don’t have to have a monetary value. Show your partner you care by being intentional and letting them know how much they matter to you. A happy, healthy relationship involves shared rituals—why not give your lover the gift of presence?On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear a rerelease of one of my all time favorite episodes where I focus on the sex and love part of Christmas and show you some special ways to make this time together magical. Remember being a kid on Christmas morning, waking up even before the sun… overwhelmed and giddy at the idea of what Santa Claus might’ve brought? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to recapture that special, magical feeling—even long after we stop believing in St. Nick?In This Episode, You Will Learn:Yes, you CAN make the holidays more romantic and sexy and avoid becoming totally burnt out by the end of the season (04:33) It’s not about the presents, it’s about the presence (11:00)If you've got  little inquiring eyes and ears around, put your stocking stuffer in an envelope or add an IOU for an erotic massage (12:34)If you don't celebrate Christmas, you don't have to put your gifts in a stocking. You can individually wrap each thing—even try a treasure hunt and hide gifts around the house (13:52)Why not try out The 12 Days of Christmas for Couples? Instead of a partridge in a pear tree, what about dancing to a romantic song together in the living room? (18:08)Today’s LoveByte (25:52)Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise. Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.comWant to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No matter what you celebrate, the beginning of December always feels like the unofficial start to the busiest time of year. There are company holiday parties, the kids have their plays and concerts, and the family gatherings can feel endless… And with all that commotion, who has the time to make things feel special with their sweet heart?In today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, it’s all about taking the chaotic, overscheduled energy of December and using some of it to honor and cherish the one who’s by your side through it all. Tune in and remember that first holiday season you spent with your sweetie. When you were dating and wooing and falling in love, you probably made a heck of a lot more effort during the holidays. You probably shopped more carefully, you probably did some romantic or sexy or fun gifts, and you probably really thought about: “How can I light my sweetheart up?” In This Episode, You Will Learn:In the December holiday season, couples gets lost (02:03)Valentine’s Day is a manufactured money grabbing cheap chocolate holiday—but if you open your mind, it can be a reminder to be romantic as heck (03:22)Your love affair doesn't take care of itself. You need to make passion a priority (12:13)It takes work and effort and repetition to improve and to be good at what you do—if you rest on your laurels, your laurels tend to fall apart (12:52)Your challenge is to make this holiday season joyful, compassionate, and generous—but also make it about the two of you. Carve out at least one special holiday date (13:38)This week’s LoveByte (14:40)Tell Dr. Cheryl about your holiday date and you could win a sexy surprise. Email your stories and photos to hello@drcherylfraser.comWant to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram Let’s Connect!  About MeInstagramWebsite - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here Facebook Page  YoutubeIf you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.