Do you have a hobby? My hobby is being a member of my Neighbourhood Watch. Which is sort of like being a Cowboy, when you think about it.

I stand, bolt upright, surveying my cul-de-sac, allowing myself to blink precisely every 90 seconds. 

I have developed a technique where I gulp in large quantities of air, almost as if I am taking a gigantic bite of the atmosphere so that any trespassers won't hear me breathing, heavily, against the bay window, which doesn't happen now, because of the breathing thing I just said.  

I don't own a gun, but I do own a large knife sharpener, which in the catering trade they call an iron. Like a cowboy, I'm waiting, with my iron, for some drifter to turn the wrong corner. Then I'll show them. Just they wait.