Seeing Death Clearly
Seeing Death Clearly
Jill McClennen
A Conversation with Death Doula Kelly Hayler
40 minutes Posted Mar 6, 2023 at 4:00 am.
Kelly shares about where she is from and where she is now
Kelly’s religious background growing up
Conversations Kelly has with her family about death and dying
Nursing school led to end of life doula training
How end of life doula training changed both Kelly and Jill
Grief work and our relationship with others
Grief is about loss, but doesn't mean it has to be about death only
The similarites between a birth plan and a death plan
The growth of the death positive community and death doulas
Kellys experience supporting a dear friend through breast cancer and her death from it
Medical Aid in Dying, Compassion and Choices organization
The role of death doulas; our job is not to enforce our beliefs on anybody else. It's to ensure that they get what they want at the end of life.
Kellys focus as a death doula is in the LGBTQIA+ community
Kelly works virtually and in person
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In episode 8 of Seeing Death Clearly, my guest today is Kelly Hayler.

Kelly is a trained End of Life Doula based in New York City with a deep understanding and respect that everyone brings their own fears, beliefs, and experiences to the topic of death and dying. 

Her background is in project management which means she knows how to get organized and address your needs as quickly as possible. She is here to assist with your questions and navigate the path forward by talking about what you want, and what your options are and helping to prepare you for this phase of your life. 

Kelly and I talk about her work as a death doula in New York City and her work with the LGBTQIA+ community.

Kelly was never afraid of death but in our culture today, we have made death so clinical and gotten away from community support. 
 

We talked about how she had a similar experience to me during her training to become a death doula. 
 

I found through first-hand experience that the more I came to terms with my thoughts and feelings about death and dying, the more present I became in my everyday life.

Kelly and I hope to share that with you too in this episode, how you can live a better life by having a healthier relationship with death and dying. 
 

She shares about the death of a good friend and the experience they both had while Kelly supported her through her illness and the end-of-life process.

Our conversation also centers around grief, all types of grief, not just for the death of a loved one.

“Grief is about loss but doesn't mean it has to be about death only. It's about loss, we don't give ourselves a society enough kindness and gentleness around what it means to end a relationship or have to say this is not a healthy exchange, and I need to separate myself from that. You're coming from a place of feeling wounded or knowing that something wasn't healthy for you. There's still loss around that. You have to grieve that even if it was your choice or not.” 

You can find Kelly at https://deathdoulanewyork.com/
or
https://linktr.ee/deathdoulanyc

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