<p>The father of evolution, Charles Darwin, spent his lifetime laboriously ogling the boobies of the Galapagos and rigorously examining the huge dongs of the promiscuous barnacles. </p>

49 - Ty Cobb: Baseball's Dirtiest Player slides into your DMs

We've all been taught to venerate the dead. Where's the fun in that?! No one can take all their rotten secrets to the grave. Humans are just trash monsters that make mistakes, rub together and make more humans. So, let's grab some beers, bury inhibitions and dig up some dirt on history's most iconic departed.