Voted by Daily Mail readers as ‘the most exciting Jazz Expert since Oswald Mosely, and described by 'The Lady' as 'Margaret Rutherford on acid’, these are the Jazz thoughts of VENETIA TARDY-BINT, happy widow of Sir Horace, lunchtime barfly and proud midfielder in the Wivenhoe Fox Hunt Women’s First XI.

Bill and his Big Bag do not accept responsibility for anything Venetia says. This is a Hot Jazz Borstal, for goodness sake. Not a Finishing School.

With Bill Lawrance, Adrian Coen & Venetia Tardy-Bint