G.I. Joe is a beloved property drowning in bungled adaptations, patchwork characters, and cringe politics.  The franchise has always looked good on paper (and in molded plastic) - spy-fi meets superheroes meets patriotism! But outside the classic Marvel Comics, Joe media always manages to discard its most interesting influences and embrace the most milquetoast. Plus, the Joes are fighting battles and enemies too uncomfortably close to real events for a freewheeling kids movie. How do you make it all work in a summer blockbuster? “Real American Hero” is a phrase that’s lost all meaning. But don’t worry, we’re about to reboot it back to life.  Fair warning, we lean into Beachhead, Snake Eyes, Ripcord, Mainframe, Lady Jaye, and Covergirl. If your favorite is one of the other 150 Joes, we apologize in advance, but there are places for many of them in our story.  

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