Episode 34 To find success, learn the power of no.

When Nancy Reagan, wife of then President Ronald Reagan was visiting a primary school in California she told the kids “Just say no” to drugs. This was later used as a slogan in the campaign against drugs in the US during the early 1980s. But as we know many people have difficulty saying no to drugs, and many entrepreneurs have difficulty saying no to requests for meetings, to speak at events, to write a guest blog, anything to raise their profile.

Why is it hard to say no? It is flattering to be asked to speak at a conference, even more flattering to be asked back again. We get a sense of pride from being asked to meet up with someone, to be in demand. And there is that nagging doubt if I turn down this invitation will I be missing out on a plum assignment or opportunity. FOMO: Fear of missing out.

You will have no problem turning down obvious time wasters, or saying yes to clear opportunities, would you like to speak at our conference? We will pay first class flights, five star hotel and $20,000 for the day. It’s in the middle that we can get into trouble. The offer to speak without pay at a high profile conference where potential clients may be present, doing a podcast for an internationally recognized company, doing a favor for a colleague who may be able to help you out later.

Knowing it is hard to say no to such requests, set some rules for yourself. Do not rearrange your schedule to accommodate the meeting, insist on a time and location that is convenient for you. If they are that anxious to meet you they will be to accept this arrangement Do not meet people just because they ask. Insist on knowing why they want to meet, what is their objective for the meeting. And then decide if it is worth your time. Asking for additional information will weed out a lot of requests, you will find once they have to do some work, i.e. take the time to explain the purpose of the meeting, a lot of folks lose interest. Unless you are wildly enthusiastic about a pro bono opportunity, asked to get paid. Your time is one of your most valuable assets, why give it away?

Choose what you are bad at.

As a startup or newbie solopreneur there is a strong temptation to be all things to all potential clients, this is the path to mediocracy. No one wants to admit they are bad at anything within their area of competency but by consciously choosing what you are bad at will, paradoxically increase your chances of success.

An example provided in Dorie Clark’s book is of a bank that decided to commit itself to be open at hours convenient to its customers. This is an expensive undertaking. How did the bank achieve its goal, it chose to be abysmal at paying interest on deposit accounts. If asked, would you like lousy returns on your investments, most investors would say no. But to the customer segment served by the bank, convenient hours more than outweighed the lack of return on their money.

Being focused is the key to success to any business or solo entrepreneur. Saying yes to everything means being average at everything. What are you going to chose to be bad at? What are you going to say no to?

Use a checklist

Check lists work, they are mandatory for pilots or doctors preparing for an operation. When evaluating whether to say no Dorie Clark suggest you ask the following four questions:

What is the total time commitment? What is the opportunity cost? What is the physical and emotional cost? Would I feel bad in a year if I did not do this? ​ Jeff Bezos had an excellent position and outstanding career prospects when he quit his job to found Amazon. He knew if he did not try to launch his business he would always regret it. Even though he only estimated his chances of success at 30%. But most opportunities you are offered, if you do not accept them, a year from now you will likely not even remember them.