Summer classes are now in session. You’ve fallen behind on your Socialite Studies coursework, but do not worry: we have the Olsen Twins ready for extra credit.

In today’s lecture, we cover Mary-Kate’s and Ashley’s evolutions from “recent fetuses” to fashion elites. We tackle subjects light and dark, and challenge you to consider: what is the perfect t-shirt? Is it something that is attainable, in a material sense? Or is it really untenable, like an infinite regress?

There is also Billboard Dad, Holiday in the Sun, and Full House.

Find your reading list here.

*Please note that this is your professors’ first attempt a bi-coastal recording, and there is some sound interference throughout the episode. We are tenured. We will fix this.