It's the beautiful game, reimagined for people who get a little too excited about replacement rates.

Hosts Tom and Nick have done something nobody asked for: assessed all 48 World Cup nations across eight pension and lifestyle metrics and run a full knockout tournament to crown the world's greatest retirement system. There's no group stage, because the real ones are complicated enough - but there is a referee, Brian Gielty of LAPF Investments, to adjudicate the inevitable disagreements via VAR.

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