This week we are furiously collecting works of art in the hopes of influencing the worth of our favourite artists. It's a tough old life... Highlights include:

- Unfortunately, business first

- Abalone is all balls

- No cats allowed in the gallery

- Fuck you Degas, you suck

- Nothing like a 'Cheeky Vincent'

- Classic art is famous for its lack of guns

- Apologies to Reiner Knizia - we cannot pronounce your name