Welcome to Wisteria Lane, a hotbed of scandal and saucy secrets. Whose shady past will remain a mystery, and whose dirty laundry will be aired for all to hear? Highlights include:

- It's another victory for Mark... sorry

- The deckbuilders list gets even more questionable

- Who can build the best Paul?

- Prepare for some very naff American accents

- Spot the tin!

- You don't get shushed by enough board games these days...

- We've totally swapped roles

- Housewives are in fact, the lowest common denominator

- If you married a man and had a load of kids, you've failed at being a lesbian

- A red dice, how exciting!

- It needs more plastic women