<p>This is a public service announcement to any sentient beings throughout the Universe thinking about visiting Earth in the foreseeable future. Earth is closed. Gap has the details.</p>

After 5,000 Standard Earth Years (SEY), Orbital comes to Earth. Thank you human technology for finally becoming advanced enough for us to retrofit our file format so you can hear this. My name is Gap Storm, an extraterrestrial with command over time and space. I could have set off for the edges of the Universe to fight crime or save the innocent. Instead, I started an audio program. Enjoy!