Number Two Podcast
Number Two Podcast
Lourdes and Tello
N2P 034: Food Stamps, Escaping the Escape Room, and Stupid Dad Jokes
1 hour 4 minutes Posted Feb 26, 2018 at 2:01 am.
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Show notes

* Number Two Cuz starts the show, and immediately has to leave the show to grab something.
* Tello talks smack behind Lourdes’ back while she’s gone.
* Lourdes got a fortune that read, “You always have the right answers, they just sometimes ask the wrong questions. Tello thinks that is the best description he’s ever heard of Number Two Cuz.
* Tello searched for an old fortune in his wallet, but instead found an old food stamp from his childhood.
* Lourdes and Tello fondly (and not so fondly) recount childhood memories of being on welfare and using food stamps. Tello holds on to one as a reminder of a time when his family hit rough times; a time to which Tello hopes to never return.
* Number Two Cuz briefly mentions her conspiracy theory regarding welfare reform, but don’t fact check her.
* Tello reminds Lourdes that they are quickly sneaking up on episode 50, and he would like a golden anniversary gift.
* Lourdes admits to selfishly being happy that her daughter Pila didn’t place at the state tournament she competed in. 
* Pila broke the bad news to the family in a group chat which morphed into a competition of who woke up earlier that morning.
* Tello offers words of encouragement – in his own way.
* Lourdes’ husband wants to plan a vacation to Florida even though they won’t be going there for their daughter’s competition.
* Tello calls out Number Two Cuz for not sending photos and videos that she was supposed to send so Tello could update www.campfyrepod.com/merch
* Tello tells Lourdes that she’ll stop feeling like a failure when she stops acting like one.
* Tello talks about how food is affecting his body now that he’s getting older. Garlic from a salad he ate for lunch and dinner gave him painful gas until he was able to crawl into bed and start farting.
* Lourdes is disgusted by Tello’s farts, but Tello is disgusted by Lourdes’ phlegmy throat.
* Number Two Cuz talks about her new blender and the healthy recipes she’s making with it using butternut or “better nut” squash.
* It took Lourdes longer than the specified 30 to 45 minutes to complete the recipe, so she wasn’t able to eat her healthy soup the same night she made it.
*  Number Two Cuz tries to tempt Tello to eat meat on Fridays during Lent, but Tello misunderstands her suggestion.
* Lourdes shares her healthy soup with her mother and cousins Julie and Agustin, but only Lourdes seemed to enjoy her healthy cooking.
* Number Two Cuz confuses “purify” and “puree.”
* Lourdes suggests a new healthy soup for Tello to try.
* Tello and Lourdes aren’t sure what celery root is.
* Lourdes thinks the “Vegetti” is related to female anatomy, and Tello plays along for a bit.
* Tello explains to the audience what zoodles are.
* Tello tried to make noodle-less Pho, but instead just made soup. It tasted more than kind of good.
* Tello visited an escape room with some friends, and had one hour to try and solve clues that would free them from the room.
* The escape room was a music themed room where all the clues are music related. Tello and his friends played the part of thieves working for a hacker who discovered that there was a lost, unreleased Aerosmith recording that they had to retrieve in order to escape the room. 
* Tello was really impressed by the setup and engineering of the escape room.
* Lourdes and Tello imagine how funny it would be if they got their family to work together to escape an escape room.
* Tello and Lourdes plan a few potential Easter games.
* Tello laments how kids today don’t have the killer instinct to rush for pinata candy they way his generation did.
* Tello remembers an incident at a school Halloween party when he lost his candy while breaking a pinata.
* Lourdes thinks she’s a bad mother because she d...