The sentence arrives about a second and a half after the remark, and it is always delivered lightly: I'm only joking. 

Notice where it sits. It doesn't withdraw what was said — it leaves the remark exactly where it is and changes what you're allowed to do about it. 

Michael Comyn on deniable aggression: why a thirteenth-century West African institution got the rules right, what a linguist in Harlem discovered about the one thing a ritual insult is never allowed to be, and why the person doing the teasing and the person being teased are not in the same joke.

You already know my voice.

For twenty-five years, I've been telling you to mind the gap on trains across Ireland. This is the same instruction. The gap is just different now.

Mind the Gap is a podcast about the space between what we think we're doing and what we're actually doing. Between intention and impact. Between the behaviour we display and the one we'd choose if we were paying attention.

Each episode is a short reflection — drawn from psychology, philosophy, and the texture of everyday life — on one of those gaps. Why do we give advice nobody asked for? Why do we lie more after the mistake than during it? Why do we perform contentment, perform listening, perform strength? And what it costs us when we do.

I'm Michael Comyn — coach, broadcaster, and the voice on the platform. New episodes weekly.