COLD OPEN: Lars Rooskie and Jonathon America vie for Britton's affection. Whose afterparty will he choose to attend?

THEME SONG: Bask in the song stylings of Lord Morgan Hall Phillips for a minute.

EPISODE INTRO: Britton really botches his first foray as full fledged host by hijacking an episode that supposed to be about the Goodwill Games and making it all about the Captain Planet series origin story.

Sean makes Presidents Day shout out to three-time Grammy winner, 97-year-old Jimmy Carter. HPD President Carter!!! The Boo Crew names their favorite presidents. [Hint: It's Jimmy Carter]

The sloughing trudge through Britton's Captain Planet backstory continues ad infinitum. 

Mike interjects with breaking news, but first some really unkind tweets from our listener.

GUEST INTERVIEW: Our guest cancels.

Sound Editor Alan cuts Britton's line.

Mike subs for Britton to help wrest the Goodwill Games episode back from tyrannical hands.

Should we just cancel the show? Nah, keep going with your factoids, Mike.

We repair as a team with Britton rejoining the show from a forced-mute hiatus, but it really hasn't helped anything.

Britton tosses to Matt's Special Correspondent segment. Matt and Sean discuss the CNN and TBS broadcasting team that were leveraged for the Goodwill Games and introduce the sport of Motoball and its unlikely champion Skip Caray.

SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT SEGMENT: Skip Caray's Motoball sound collage from the 1986 Goodwill Games in Moscow. 

Another tweet comes in from Britton's mom or possibly his stepmom. Britton and Sean react to the sound collage: "Pretty weird" and "Nice melange." Britton resumes the Captain Planet series origin story. Mike does laundry, fixes cabinets, makes nachos while Britton reveals the cast and plot of Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

NEXT EPISODE TEASE: Are we even coming back for an Episode 5? Let's just have some vegan beef stroganoff and try to forget what just happened.

CLOSING SONG 

END