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Episode 5x05: "Shifting Sands"
2 hour 39 minutes Posted May 26, 2018 at 9:49 pm.
– Hello and Welcome, Let’s Recap All Our Wild Theories That Have Already Been Proved Wrong This Season, and Discuss Our Remaining Ones
– Niylah kom Wonkru, Human Butcher?
– Shit Went Down In That Bunker and Miller and Jackson Do NOT Want to Talk to Clarke About It
– “We Could Have Used You in the Bunker” Presupposes that the Bunker Wouldn’t Have Fucked Up Clarke as Much as It Did Everyone Else
– Clarke as the New Lincoln
– Bring Us ALLLLLLLLLLL the Indra vs Cooper Palace Intrigue, Please and Thank You
– The Great and Terrible Beauty of “All of Me For All of Us”
– Octavia, Indra, Bellamy, Niylah, and “Love Is Weakness”
– Gaia, Nightblood Novitiates, and Blodreina’s Succession Plan
– Madi, #1 Skairipa Stan, Is Unlikely to Fangirl Quite So Hard Over Blodreina
– Biblical Plagues, Biological Warfare, and Mother/Daughter Mad Scientists: TIME FOR SOME SANDWORM DISCOURSE!!!
– Clarke and Bellamy Getting to Know Each Other Again
– Heads and Hearts and Reversals Thereof
– Okay So Like . . . This Is For SURE a Love Triangle
– Give Echo a Great Arc This Season That Doesn’t Screw Her Over in the Aforementioned Love Triangle, Please and Thank You
– Madi and the Road Trip Adventure Squad Was Everything We Never Knew We Wanted
– Octavia’s “Love Is Weakness” Delusion Is Not Borne Out By Fact
– Shaw and Raven, Our New OTP
– The Sinister Magnetism of Paxton McCreary
– We Love Charmaine Diyoza With Our Entire Hearts
– Diyoza’s Achilles Heel May Be Underestimating Shaw and Raven
– Kabby Fans, Please Ease Your Minds, Kane and Abby Are Not Going to Bang Diyoza or McCreary Except In All the Amazing Fanfic We’re Going to Be Getting This Season
– Abby the Addict vs. Abby the Scientist
– It’s So Important That the Addiction Storyline Is Also Being Fair to the Emotional Impact on Kane
– Mr. Abby Griffin Gets His Political Mojo Back and Then Is Immediately Humbled By Tequila and His Failure to Put a Ring On It, In Our New Favorite Kane Scene of the Entire Series
– Always Take the Second Shot, Diyoza
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Show notes
Welcome back to Meta Station for our recap of an amazing episode which is simultaneously a heartfelt emotional drama (Indra saying “I love you!” Kane taking care of Abby! Miller and Jackson kissing! Clarke and Bellamy fireside-bonding again!) and a FUCKING HORROR MOVIE (demon sandworms erupting from stomachs! Eligius IV’s very own Hannibal Lecter! Shock collars for everyone!)
Also we’re solidly #TeamIndra over #TeamCooper, we want a whole webisode spinoff of just Madi roadtripping with the Spacekru girls, Erin thinks Blodreina would be a very bad penguin, we’re gonna be super real with you and let you know that Clarke and Bellamy definitely ate people, Raven/Shaw is everyone’s new OTP, the Lincoln parallels are EVERYWHERE, we’re more than a little worried about the looming possibility of an Ethan/Madi murderbaby conclave, Bellamy is Octavia’s Fredo, and “Don’t Do Drugs or You’ll End Up Getting Blackmailed By Serial Killers” is a WAY more effective anti-drug slogan than anything we learned in school.
OMON GON OSON!
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