]Trust is built when a leader shares a mistake or something personal. Another outcome is that people see you as human. [6:33]You can be too vulnerable. Carol says that when you share your mistakes without also sharing a solution and what you learned from your mistakes, your team may doubt your capability as a leader. The pivot point is to share your mistake and then say, “here's what I've learned about it and this is what I'm going to do differently.” [8:48]Self-disclosure can be planned or unplanned. Most leaders plan to share a story about their vulnerability as a trust-building strategy. They find that when they share, people are in the moment, and there is a sense of relief and connection. [10:40]Our culture teaches us to be tough and competitive. This is why it's so hard for people to be vulnerable, Carol says. We also fear how we would be perceived as a leader if we display vulnerability.  [15:09]It is a myth that self-disclosure comes easier for women than for men. Carol finds that when asked intentional questions, men show up just as much as women do. [17:22] Marcel asks why people still lead with the iron fist instead of love and care? Carol responds that it is because leaders are rewarded for financial or sales outcomes. Iron fist leadership may get you short-term results but will eventually burn you out. [19:20]Carol shares her stories of when she felt love and fear at work. [24:52] It is important for leaders to show love by acknowledging, caring about and understanding their employees. It is just as important for leaders to show love to themselves. [30:28]Carol challenges listeners to do the Personal Histories Exercise at their next team meeting. Leaders should go first and practice vulnerability. She promises that the tenor, resonance, and relationship of your team will change. [32:20]ResourcesCarol’s Twitter: @CarolGrannisCarol’s Instagram: @carol.grannisEmail: [email protected] your story of love and fear