Determining if the judgment or "gossip" you hear about yourself is earned requires a deep, insightful look at your actions without falling into the trap of "beating yourself up". According to the sources, you can tell judgment is earned by evaluating several key factors:. Ultimately, the source suggests that rather than fighting to change someone’s subjective "truth," you should focus on managing your own reality. If you realize you were wrong, you can be accountable and apologize for yourself, but you must also recognize when a "mismatch" in values means you should simply move on rather than continuing to defend your character.