On this episode of Intentional Marriage, co-hosts and married couple – Justin and Cresta Burt – talk about some of the challenges that couples can face when parenting.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- The challenges can start from before you even have kids, from the moment you start talking about the decision to have them, not have them, to how many you’re going to have. When my ex-wife and I started to have discussions about kids, we had a difference of opinion about how many we were going to have, not when we were going to have them. I wanted 5 (which is a lot!) and she wanted 2, so she said: “Let’s start with one”. Which is the best advice I can give anybody; start with one because you don’t know how much they’re going to change your life.
- People want to raise their kids similar to how they were raised, so there’s going to be a natural challenge where some parents will be naturally more easy on their kids, some will be harsher, more strict, disciplinarian and so there’s a natural tug-of-war going on within the parenting structure. As the kids grow little things like being able to ride down to the corner store to get a soda might be more than one parent might not want them to leave the house on their own.
- The challenges start early and they really don’t end, even past them being grown. Once they’re graduating high school, what if your child wants to enlist in the military? One parent could be willing to sign and another not. It continues.
- Kids take time, effort, money, a lot of everything away from marriage. So date nights become harder to do because you may not have the time or money to do that, it’s a legitimate concern. So you have to start being creative and think about how you can have a date night on $5-10. You’ve got to learn to balance your marriage and parenting because the 15-20 years you’re not feeding your marriage while you’re raising your kids, is a long time to not feed something that could last another 40 years after the kids have left home. If Mom and Dad are happy and healthy the children will be happy and healthy.
BEST MOMENTS
‘Kids change your life in a good way and very drastically, but you don’t know what that change looks like for you.’
‘You’re pretty good about giving me whatever I want, if I’d wanted kids I’m pretty confident that’s what I would have had.’
‘We’re going to be freakin’ awesome grandparents.’
‘Sometimes I think it’s good to see their parents disagree, because that’s what real life is like, but it depends how they disagree. If it’s a conversation without any yelling, that’s a healthy way to show them how to handle conflict, especially if you show them how you come to a resolution.’
ABOUT THE HOSTS
Justin and Cresta Burt are marriage coaches who specialise in helping couples regain their intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. They share how their Intentional Marriage principles can help couples find their "Happily Ever After."
Though they have a great sense of humour and enjoy making people laugh, Justin and Cresta take their work seriously. They know that marriages can be healed and relationships can be restored when both partners are intentional about making things better.
CONTACT METHOD
Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/intentionalmarriagecoaching
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