This episode ain’t about a shoe horn but Melissa is absolutely tickled that Black Benzo uses a shoe horn and so, in his honor, we have the title. This show is about Melissa’s at-home birthday celebration plus a discussion about Euphoria, weed and how Chris is an awesome gift giver. Melissa is still waiting for her purse though, Justin Beck.

Amanda, a graphic designer from OH, invited Melissa, a NY stay-at-home mom on her podcast. Melissa, who has been hunkered down for decades after a cool but soul-crushing brush with fame on MTV’s Real World New Orleans, didn’t really do this sort of thing but Amanda seemed nice. They recorded twice due to technical difficulties, but ended up chatting for hours. Who the fuck talks on the actual phone? They do! Two strangers getting to know each other the old-fashioned way. Get to know Melissa all over again as she gets to know Amanda for the first time. Bonus! One’s white and one ain’t.