You know how you can't go from walking around the block to running a marathon overnight?  I'm talking about how building spiritual capacity works exactly the same way - you need a comfortable "base pace" (for me it's prayer on hikes) and then you slowly add harder things instead of jumping from atheist to following every religious rule. If you're trying to figure out where you're at with faith, give yourself permission to start where you're comfortable and just microdose spirituality from there.