What if your ego isn't the villain you've been told it is? In this mini episode, I'm offering a reframe I got from my friend Sasha Feldman (actor-turned-therapist and a past Get Messy guest): the ego isn't something to defeat, it's more like a toddler — scared, overwhelmed, and desperately needing someone to hold it together, not shame it into submission.
I get into what it actually looks like when the "toddler" shows up — that defensive, reactive flare when something feels threatening or small — and why the goal isn't to eliminate that reaction, but to bring in "the adult": the part of you that can witness the reaction without being consumed by it. I also connect this to the window of tolerance, a concept from my grad school work, and why creatives specifically are constantly in situations designed to trigger the ego.
This one's a short but powerful reframe for anyone who's been trying to "kill" their ego instead of learning how to hold it.
In This Episode:
- Why the ego isn't the enemy — it's more like a scared toddler
- Where this reframe came from: a conversation with Sasha Feldman
- What it looks like when the "toddler" flares up (and how to notice it)
- The role of "the adult" — holding the reaction instead of being run by it
- The window of tolerance, and why the toddler blows you right out of it
- Why creatives are constantly in ego-triggering situations
- Hold the toddler, let the adult lead
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